Kitty's Pad - Slayers Do Total Recall

Disclaimers: Joss owns them, not me. I make no claims. I merely steal them and make them unhappy.

Rating: NC-17

Title: Dido owns it, not me. I doubt she'll be all that bothered.

Archive: Want it? Want to archive all the other 120 SD's? No, didn't think so.

Faith's POV

Slayers Do Total Recall XXVIII - With One Small Step

'Wow... I mean... '

There's this long pause, and she's sort of feeling her lips with her fingers.

Like you do when you want something, or someone, back on them.

Guess that would be me; right?

'That's why I freaked. I wanted to do that, and more, just... I'm nervous about doing it, 'cause it's been so long, you know? If I've never been good at anything else in my life, I've always had that to fall back on, and now... shit, B, I get sort of shaky thinking about doing it. What if I freak out in the middle and...'

'Then we'll stop.'

'But... what if I...'

'Then we'll stop.'

Her fingers go to my lips, stopping me talking, but also just touching them, like she did with hers.

Sort of like she's trying to remember what they feel like, properly.

So, I close my eyes, and no nasty memories hit me, which is what I thought would happen.

Then her fingers stop, and her lips are there; they're just how I remembered them.

She pulls away, and my eyes won't focus, not one bit.

Damn, she's tastes good!

'Come and lie on the bed with me. We can fool around, take things slow, yeah?'

'Yeah.'

And I'm not freaked, not one bit, not even a little bit.

But I'm still waiting for it, 'cause it's gonna hit.

Maybe not yet, but it will hit.

Shit, you know what?

I'm gonna risk it, 'cause I'm sick of not having her like this!

So I get up, and my legs are sort of shaky.

Jeez, I wasn't even this nervous my first time.

You know, I don't think I can even remember my first time, not properly.

Faith; you slut!

Yeah, well, didn't make much of an impression on me, did it?

I remember all my times with B though; all of them, even just making out.

Then she pushes me down on the bed, gently, kissing me before moving off.

'What...?'

'I'm going to put some music on, low, in case anyone walks past the door and hears anything, you know, naughty.'

Then she's back, standing at the foot of the bed, and she slowly takes her jacket off, never letting her eyes leave mine.

And there's that fire, starting to build in me the whole time, burning hotter and hotter.

She crawls on the bed, and sits on my thighs.

'You ok?'

And I am.

It's weird, 'cause I am; for now.

'Yeah. My lips are a bit lonesome though. Think they're getting cold.'

This is the thing.

Of all the people I've ever kissed, she's the only one where it's never got boring.

I could sit and kiss her for hours.

Yeah, maybe catch some feels, old habits die hard and all, but it's those lips; hot!

Guess that's what it means to have someone permanent.

You don't have to rush through things.

I get this wicked smile from her, as she bends down to kiss me again.

Yeah, those lips; sheesh, those lips!

Talented.

And I don't know if she's teasing me, or trying to go slow.

Whatever it is, it's driving me mad, so I put my arms round her and pull her down, against me.

She's on me, all of her, and I'm not freaking; yet.

I still think it's coming, I do, but for now I'm ok.

So I run my hands down her back.

She pulls her mouth away from mine, and this cute little moan comes out.

Might be cute, but it's sending shockwaves right through my leathers.

Then I slide my hands up her shirt, and her skins just how I remember it; soft, warm, and smooth as silk.

I know we should be going slow, but I'm struggling with it.

'Cause now I'm kissing her, harder, and my tongue's in her mouth.

But she's into it, I can feel her hips pressing up against me, into me.

This is what I've missed, this; touching her, making her feel like this, tasting her, hearing her moan for me.

I've never been much for waiting, but I'm gonna keep it on a short leash tonight.

I am, because if I freak out, then I don't know when I'm gonna be able to do all this stuff again.

It might be tomorrow, the next day, in a month, a year; who knows?

So, for now I'm gonna make sure I know every inch of her.

My hands push her hair off her face, and get some space between our mouths.

Yeah, take that air in baby, you're gonna need it.

'I want to undress you, B. You gonna let me?'

'I thought I was meant to be seducing you?'

'Tables have turned. Let me play, yeah?'

She smiles and kisses my nose.

If someone had done that to me a year ago, I would have smashed their faces in.

But I like it now, well, only if it's B doing it.

I roll us over and lay her down, propping myself up on an elbow.

'It's like having an extra present to unwrap in private, B.'

'You get to play with this one all night if you want, Faith. But...'

'Don't make any buts!'

'Listen for a minute, ok?'

I nod my head and slide a hand up her shirt, which she lets me do.

Cool!

'You have to tell me if you need to slow down, yeah? No rolling eyes, Faith. I mean it. If you don't tell me, then I don't know. And if we need to slow down, or stop then no big thing. But you have to tell me, don't be all butch about it.'

'Shit, you been watching to many episodes of Ellen! You can keep talking if you want, but my hand's gonna carry on working its way up.'

'You have to... mmm... no, wait, you didn't say you'd tell me if... um, if...'

'Frontloader? Nice B, nice, almost had me fooled for a second. And yeah, I'll let you know if we need to hit the brakes for a bit. Just close your eyes and let me play, yeah?'

She does; see, trust.

She trusts me, and I trust her.

Completely.

I flick the clasp at the front of her bra.

Smooth, Faith.

Yeah, never forget how a bra works, it's a totally underestimated talent.

Nothing worse than someone fumbling around, trying to get it off you.

My fingers start to undo the little buttons on her shirt, one by one, slowly.

She shivers under my fingers, all muscles rippling and tight, tanned skin showing me how much she wants this.

Don't worry, I'm going to give it all to you.

I get up on my knees and straddle her hips, resting down slowly.

This little smile comes over her face, makes mine spark up too.

Pushing off her shirt I run my hands over her skin, and I know I'm doing it too slow for her; sort of the whole point.

She likes her stomach being kissed and licked.

So, guess we'll go with that now.

I bend down and plant small kisses, real slow, over her ribs and down the sides of her stomach.

Now, if I'm not seriously off track, this is gonna get me a moan.

I run the tip of my tongue from her belly button, all the way up to her neck.

Yeah, there it is; loud and proud!

And, I know what I'm gonna get when I kiss, right, here.

Oooo, yeah, nails down the back.

Man, she knows just how long to keep them to get me, everytime.

Let's see, what shall I do now I'm up here.

Hey, bra's still on.

Better sort that out, right now.

So, I kiss my way down to the undone clasp, and lick the skin right there.

Little mini back arch there.

Oh, we're gonna get something a bit bigger than that next time.

I kiss over her breasts, through the thin material.

'I've never seen this bra before, B. Bit see through for you.'

'You complaining?'

'Hell no, I like the view, baby.'

Then I pause, and I don't know why, but I've got this sinking feeling, all over me.

Like real fast.

Hey, Faith, chill.

See, it's B, just B, no-one else, it's ok!

Yeah, everything's ok, no sweat.

But...

No, chill the fuck out!

Ok, bra, yeah, bra.

'Let's get this off you. Lift up a little, yeah, that's it. You've got a beautiful body, B. You should show it off more often.'

'What, like this?'

'Maybe not this much, but I can get you some ass huggers next week?'

'Think I'll pass.'

'I'll get them for you anyway. You can wear them at mine, so I can stare at you.'

She laughs, and I see all her muscles tightening up.

What a body!

Could play with it all night.

Heck, might just do that.

I lick round the sides of her breast 'cause it... there it is, drives her wild.

Then, that sinking feeling comes back, 'cept the rooms joined it too.

SpinningSpinningSpinningRoundRoundRound.

I look at my hand and it's shaking, you know, not bad, but I can see it. It's ok, nothing bad's happening, but it doesn't matter, 'cause what I know is going straight out the window right about now. My breath starts coming quicker, as I remember the room we were in when it... but here's still motherfuckin' spinning, like round and round! B calls my name, but I need to... get... need to get some space from... And it's not even a flash, it's a feeling, like something so bad's gonna happen and I can't stop it, all my Slayer senses have kicked in, making me goosebump and chill in a second. Then I'm up, and I feel myself stumble backwards, and I fall over something. Shit! I try to push up, but everything's spinning, and the whole room's at this real weird angle. I can't get up! Get the Fuck up Faith! But it's not working, nothing's working, and I'm cold, freezing and shaking. I hear my name again, and she's stroking my hair, but it's not working, and I can't get up. Everything's fuckin tilting! My head's spinning, just, in the opposite way to the room, and I know if I don't chill the fuck out, I'm gonna chuck. There's this scream, in my head, pushing to get out.

Her voice; saying my name, telling me it's ok. It's not, I can't; stop it; from spinning. My skin starts crawling again, and I need to get out, need to...

Her voice telling me; Faith, it's ok, relax, please, breath, relax, I'm here for you, it's ok.

It's ok?

Breath, just breath!

Remember what Dis told you, focus on your breathing, the rise and fall of your chest. Keep it steady.

Lie still, keep it steady, nothing bad's happening, it's gonna be ok.

It's a panic attack, chill out!

Keep things easy.

She's still stroking my hair, can feel the cool fabric of her shirt, on my cheek.

I don't even know where I am; am I on the floor?

Fuck it!

I try to get up, but my legs aren't working.

'Hey, you have to lie still, ok?'

'I need to... need to get off the floor.'

'No, you have to stay there, for a few minutes. For me?'

For her?

'Yeah. 'k.'

I lie there, and things start coming back into focus again, and she's above me, almost in tears.

I manage to get my hand up to her cheek; skin feels soft; pretty, she's pretty...

Then little black squares start at the edge of my vision, and I know I'm gonna pass out.

I try and concentrate on B's face, for as long as I can, until I can't see anything anymore.