Disclaimers: Joss owns the BTVS characters, not me. I make no claims.
Me: I own all the others, Discord, Elle, Lucy etc
Title: No Doubt own the line. They all seem to fit so well with my fics. Gwen rocks.
Dedications: To Wlfgrrl and her soap box. *wink*
 
Elle's POV
 
Slayers Do Total Recall III - Since The Day I Was Born; Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
 
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, over flowing.
Why'd I even bother with the computer system, no one uses it!
 
Oh, someone to see me?
 
'Come in.'
 
'Lucy? When did you find some manners and learn how to knock? You normally flash yourself in here and scorch my parquet flooring.'
 
'I like to be unpredictable, you were getting too used to me flashing you.'
 
I can't help but roll my eyes at her.
She never, ever, ever stops.
 
'So, Elle, sweetie. Had a call from the babbling blonde a moment ago. She's none to pleased with your honeyness, you know. You've messed her girl up, real good.'
 
For the love of all things wonderful, can people stop blaming me, for once?
 
'If that's what you came to say then shut the door on your way out, Lucy.'
 
Not in the mood, not one bit, for all this.
As if I don't feel bad enough, without help from Lucifer!
 
'Oh, touchy. So, I heard Discord told you where to get off to, not literally, or you would have come down and seen me. I'm so annoyed I missed out on her soul, really I am.'
 
'Lucy, for one, get your hands out of my files! Secondly, what Dizzy and I talk about is really not your concern, although I'm beginning to think that green could be a good colour choice for your skin tone.'
 
She slams the filing cabinet shut and glares at me.
Oh dear, did I say something wrong?
Elle, bad you, naughty!
 
'As if I'd be jealous of some giant humming bird!'
 
'You don't sound it, Luce. Really gets to you, me and her, doesn't it?'
 
I watch as she runs her hands down the sides of her tight dress, slowly smoothing it off, and walks over to me.
If people knew how sexy the Devil really was they'd be queuing up, like the winter sales.
She stops, sliding herself on to my desk, right in front of me.
 
'Elle, how could I be jealous of someone who isn't allowed to have you, hmm? Must be Hell for her, to see you everyday, and not be able to run her hands up those thighs of yours.'
 
She leans over and purrs the last bit in my ear.
Got to say, she is a turn on, but I know where my heart's meant to be, and it's not with Lucy.
 
'She's got more of a chance with me than you, Lucy.'
 
I push her off, blow her a kiss, and plaster my finest 'tease' smile on.
There it is; that temper fighting to get out.
Such a firecracker!
 
Her eyes narrow, she clicks her fingers and she's gone in an instant; leaving another grubby mark on my floor!
 
I press down on my intercom, trying not to break a nail.
Took me long enough to grow them, they're precious.
 
'Lucy was just here, can you get someone to sand the patch down on my floor and restain it? Hello? Is anybody in reception?!'
 
'Um, sorry, yes alright! Oh, not you, your eminence, the courier's rushing me. I'll get some on it right away!'
 
'Sam, can you come in here first? I've got some papers for Bee.'
 
'Of course, your eminence. I said I'm not signing for the fuc... sorry, forgot to take my finger off the..., um, be right there, sorry.'
 
Love her, really do, but she is the worst PA in the history of the planet.
 
Suddenly the door opens, and she tumbles in, well not really tumbles, but it's the only word that I can find to describe how she moves.
 
'Oooo, scorch! She knows how to leave a mark doesn't she, your eminence.'
 
'Sam, remember, you don't have to call me your eminence in my office.'
 
'Yes your eminence, oh, I mean, yes your... should I just leave it at your?'
 
'Sam, call me Elle, please.'
 
I'm getting one of my headaches again.
 
'Yes your Elle. Um, the papers you wanted me to deliver?'
 
I pick up a briefcase and slap a sticky label on it, don't want it going astray.
 
'Sam, listen very carefully, take notes if you have to.'
 
She picks a pen from behind her ear... no, it's a cigarette.
Oh, someone stop this, it's distressing.
 
'Sam, it's a cigarette, do you need a pencil, hang on, where... here, keep it. Now, listen. Deliver this to Bee, you know Bee, Lucy's PA. Get the courier to get a signature, that's critical or she'll swear blind she never got them. The courier must get a signature, that's it, underline that bit. Is that ok? Excellent. off you go then.'
 
'Yes your Elle. Thank you. I'll do it right away.'
 
She starts backing up, bowing, then bangs straight into the filing cabinet, making her drop all her papers.
Patience is a virtue, Elle, a virtue.
I can't stand to watch her scrabbling round.
 
'Sam! I'm going to flash you back into reception, with all your papers, ok? Save us both half an hour. Ok? Close your eyes.'
 
With a click of my fingers she's finally gone.
 
No wonder Lucy loves Bee so much.
Once you get an efficient soul, you can't let them go.
 
Which reminds me; Dizzy.
 
 
Let's go and see if you've calmed down.