Disclaimer: Joss owns them. Not me. The
song, 'what's the name of the game' is owned by ABBA.
Comments: I was listening to ABBA after exhausting every single cd. The song lines are shown by //. I know, I start sentences with But/And. Crumbs eh? End of the world! Bad Grammar I know. BUT *g* I like doing it.
Comments: I was listening to ABBA after exhausting every single cd. The song lines are shown by //. I know, I start sentences with But/And. Crumbs eh? End of the world! Bad Grammar I know. BUT *g* I like doing it.
Summary: Songfic. Faith tries
to get her feelings out to Buffy.
Rating: UK 15cert
Author: -|-
Miss K -|-
Title: What's the Name Of The Game
SONGFIC-What's the Name of the Game
SONGFIC-What's the Name of the Game
I'm sitting staring again.
Staring at something and nothing.
Things have been piling up in my head.
Day after day.
Week after week.
Month after month.
Just piling up into a big old heap in my head.
I didn't want to feel this way for her.
I just didn't.
One way street to heart break.
But I can't help it.
//I've seen you twice, in a short time
//Only a week since we started
Giles thinks we've been slacking, so he's set us up on some fierce schedule.
So, me and B have been training hard for the past two days.
Trying out new moves and gettin' wicked sweaty.
And it ain't doin' me any good.
//It seems to me, for every time
//I'm getting more open-hearted
It's gettin' tough to be around her so much.
To be around her and not slip up.
//I was an impossible case
//No-one ever could reach me
She's being all 'Buffy'.
All nice.
Happy.
Smiley.
Friendly.
Everything I'm not.
Everything I always wanted to be, but didn't have the guts to try for.
//But I think I can see in your face
//There's a lot you can teach me
I steal another glance over at her.
She's laughing with Giles, about some move he's trying to teach her.
My throat gets tight, as my heart starts hammering in my chest again.
Then she looks over to me as if she can sense me watching.
And a warm genuine smile floods over her face.
She wouldn't be smiling if she knew what was going on in my head; if she knew that I thought about her every moment of every day.
//So I wanna know...
//What's the name of the game?
//Does it mean anything to you?
//What's the name of the game?
She must know.
I flirt.
I chase.
I slut myself up for her.
She never lets on though.
I'd never tell her.
Not out loud.
I'd be risking everything.
'Cause that's what she is to me, everything.
She's the best thing that's happened to me.
She comes over, wiping away at the sweat that she's built up on her shoulders.
//Can you feel it the way I do?
//Tell me please, 'cause I have to know
//I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow
'Hey, what's up Miss Broody?'
She gently pokes my hand with a finger.
My whole body twitches at the contact.
I see a small friendly frown appear on her face.
//And you make me talk
//And you make me feel
'Nothin' B. I'm just... I dunno'
I shrug my shoulders.
Can't shake it.
It's weighing me down.
Makes me feel so heavy inside.
//And you make me show
//What I'm trying to conceal
'Let's get some fresh air huh? You can tell me why you're all Slayer frowny.'
She picks up my hand, and I swallow down a ton of emotions that are tryin' to push their way out of me.
I gently pull my hand out from hers, as we step out into the warm sunshine.
I hate touching her.
I hate it and love it.
I hate it because I love HER.
Makes me think of stuff I wont ever have.
Like looking through a toy store window at the expensive things you won't get for Christmas..
We sit down on the wall out back.
'You've been so quiet the last few days, Faith. You ok?'
'Five by five.'
Trademark lie.
//If I trust in you, would you let me down?
//Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?
'I don't think you are. Hey, we're the Chosen Two, if you can't talk to me then who can you talk to? Now, you're not going anywhere 'til you tell me! Look at my 'resolve' face, set in stone!'
//Could you feel the same way too?
//I wanna know...
//The name of the game
I can feel the warmth of her body hitting mine.
God, I just want to touch her.
I ball my fists up, real tight.
Don't do it, Faith.
You'll freak her out!
//I have no friends, no-one to see
//And I am never invited
//Now I am here, talking to you
//No wonder I get excited
'I... I met someone I like, like like, you know. I feel weird spilling my guts B.'
At least I'm not lying.
I feel like I'm ten.
All nervous inside.
//Your smile, and the sound of your voice
'Go team Faith!'
//I have no friends, no-one to see
//And I am never invited
//Now I am here, talking to you
//No wonder I get excited
'I... I met someone I like, like like, you know. I feel weird spilling my guts B.'
At least I'm not lying.
I feel like I'm ten.
All nervous inside.
//Your smile, and the sound of your voice
'Go team Faith!'
She smiles and puts her hand on my arm, rubbing it for a moment, before it goes back to her lap.
My skin sparks and flames at the contact instantly.
//And the way you see through me
//Got a feeling, you give me no choice
'So you like like him? Wow! Who is it? Someone I know? Tell me! Slayer gossip!'
She leans into me, as if we're gonna share some big secret that no-one else is allowed to hear.
She smells so nice.
God, what am I doing?!
'They don't know. I mean, they don't know I like 'em. So it doesn't really matter'
I look down at the floor, and watch an ant walking across the concrete.
I resist the urge to squash it with my boot.
Play nice Faith.
//But it means a lot to me
//So I wanna know...
//What's the name of the game?
'Faith, have you said anything to him? Maybe they'd be ok with it? You never know 'til you say something.'
I know she's just bein' nice.
But I feel like I want to cry.
This is the story of my life.
Everything so good is always just out of reach.
I'm on the outside, looking in at this amazing party that I didn't get an invite to.
Always on the outside.
'It's just complicated B.'
//Does it mean anything to you?
//What's the name of the game?
//Can you feel it the way I do?
Why am I telling her all of this?
What?
You think if you spill your guts out to her Faith, that
she'll be ok with it?
I'm all confused inside my head.
Everything's rushing around at a hundred miles a second.
//Tell me please, 'cause I have to know
//I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow
She frowns a little, she's thinking.
That's her I'm thinking face.
Frowny and beautiful.
'We fight nasties, we save the world, we're Slayers, it can't be THAT complicated Faith. Unless... do you mean like like? You like like someone? As in not like like but LIKE LIKE? You wanna do more than, you know, 'grrr' with them?'
I feel my face warm from her words.
I'm blushing!
Fuck it!
Can this get any worse?
'Oh my god! You LIKE LIKE someone?'
No way I can look at her now.
Not looking like this, like a complete chump.
'That's what I said B, like like. That's why it's complicated'
//And you make me talk
//And you make me feel
//And you make me show
//What I'm trying to conceal
Suddenly the floor seems really interesting.
REALLY interesting.
'Ok, so I see your point. Do they have any idea? Or are you crushing from afar?'
//If I trust in you, would you let me down?
//Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?
I want to shut up.
Really I do, but I can't.
'We hang out a lot, but I haven't said anything yet and I'm not gonna either. Like I said, too complicated.'
I look up into the most beautiful eyes.
Her eyes.
Buffy's eyes.
And I wanna scream out.
IT'S YOU!
I'M CRUSHING OVER YOU!
//Could you feel the same way too?
//I wanna know...
Then realisation suddenly crashes over her face.
SHIT!
Did I say that outloud?
'Please tell me it's not Xander? I mean, he's great and all but God, Faith, tell me it's not him!'
A snort escapes at that thought.
'Me and Xander? In his dreams! No fuckin' way!'
I watch her visibly relax.
Her shoulders drop a little.
Wow, she really did think it was Xander?
Gross!
A screw maybe, but anything more?
I'd rather hack my own fingers off.
'Look I don't wanna talk about it anymore, ok B? I'll deal.'
What's the point?
Why did I start this anyway?
She's totally out of your league Faith.
She totally ignores me saying no to talking.
She has this puzzled look on her face.
Her mouth's gone all pouty.
I think about kissing her lips.
Just a small kiss.
WAKE UP FAITH!
I need to get my shit together.
//Oh yes I wanna know...
'Who is it? I mean if it's not Xander, I'm going out on a limb here saying it's not Giles.'
I roll my eyes, that thought's worse than Xander.
'Willow has Tara... NO! Not one of them? FAITH!'
JEEEZUS!
Why did I open my mouth?
'No! I don't 'do' the fluffy kitten brigade, jeez B, whadya take me for? And it ain't that freakymoney obsessed ex-demon either.'
She looks pleased at herself as she leans in again, lowering her voice.
'You're narrowing it down now. Hang on, that's everyone. Damn! Come on give me a hint! You're not playing fair.'
//The name of the game
//Does it mean anything to you?
Well she just went up on my dense scale.
I must be far gone 'cause I think that's just plain cute.
I scuff my boots on the floor.
I'm real fidgety.
Why am I telling her all this again?
She's straight and even if she wasn't doubt I'd be her type.
Not skanky Faith.
//What's the name of the game?
'You want a hint?'
I turn round to straddle the wall we're on and lean on my hands in front of
me.
I watch as she takes the same position, mirroring me.
She looks real excited at getting the gossip.
Don't think she will be though.
This is the kind of gossip you'd kill to keep anyone from hearing.
'Yes! Don't make me beat it out of you Faith, you know I could.'
She smiles and my breath catches.
She didn't notice though.
How can she not know?
'I'd smack you down anyday B, you know it. Ok, so to avoid you getting wailed on, I'll help you out. I'll tell you some stuff about them, and then maybe you'll figure it out. 'k?'
She nods her head, like a kid who just got asked if they want extra sprinkles on their ice-cream.
//Can you feel it the way I do?
'I hang with them a lot. Green eyes, that's the first thing I saw, like they make me just wanna stare into them forever, sounds shit but it's true. No weak little chump either. You didn't think I'd fall for someone who wasn't kick ass did you?'
We've locked eyes now.
I try and keep my face calm.
Calm and steady.
But I gotta fire raging inside me.
We're so close.
//What's the name of the game?
I lean in a little closer.
Just a little.
Can almost feel her breath touching my face.
Almost.
'It's complicated because it's the first time I've wanted more than just the sex. Not that I don't want the sex, but now I think I wanna turn over the next morning, and find them still there. I keep thinkin' about stupid stuff, like, what it'd be like to go to a movie with them, or just stuff that involved wearing clothes. I ain't used to it B.'
We're still locked together.
I'm getting lost in her eyes.
//Does it mean anything to you?
Then her voice springs me from my thoughts.
Her voice.
I want to hear that voice telling me what kind of ice-cream she likes.
I want to hear that voice telling me what she wants to do on a day we have just for the two of us.
I want to hear that voice telling me to turn off the bedroom light.
I want to hear that voice telling me how much she wants me too.
'Maybe you should tell her how you feel Faith?'
I thought we'd gone over all... what did she say?
Tell her?
Tell HER?
I blink, tryin' to steady myself.
Ok, so this is what you wanted.
Here we are.
Point of absolutely no return.
I move in closer to her and now I really can feel her warm breath on my face.
'I'm scared that she'll get wigged, B. That if I tell her all that she won't want to speak to me again.'
'But what if you tell her all that and she wants it to? What if she was just too scared to say anything as well?'
I can feel her breath coming quicker now.
She leans in a little closer.
Just millimetres but I feel it.
Can feel her heat bouncin' off me.
I take a deep breath and jump.
'What if I ask her to kiss me?'
God, this is making me hot.
Buffy Summers is making me hot.
I take my weight off my hands a little, and move them forward, so they're just touching the insides of her thighs straddling the bricks.
I'm all confused inside my head.
Everything's rushing around at a hundred miles a second.
//Tell me please, 'cause I have to know
//I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow
She frowns a little, she's thinking.
That's her I'm thinking face.
Frowny and beautiful.
'We fight nasties, we save the world, we're Slayers, it can't be THAT complicated Faith. Unless... do you mean like like? You like like someone? As in not like like but LIKE LIKE? You wanna do more than, you know, 'grrr' with them?'
I feel my face warm from her words.
I'm blushing!
Fuck it!
Can this get any worse?
'Oh my god! You LIKE LIKE someone?'
No way I can look at her now.
Not looking like this, like a complete chump.
'That's what I said B, like like. That's why it's complicated'
//And you make me talk
//And you make me feel
//And you make me show
//What I'm trying to conceal
Suddenly the floor seems really interesting.
REALLY interesting.
'Ok, so I see your point. Do they have any idea? Or are you crushing from afar?'
//If I trust in you, would you let me down?
//Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?
I want to shut up.
Really I do, but I can't.
'We hang out a lot, but I haven't said anything yet and I'm not gonna either. Like I said, too complicated.'
I look up into the most beautiful eyes.
Her eyes.
Buffy's eyes.
And I wanna scream out.
IT'S YOU!
I'M CRUSHING OVER YOU!
//Could you feel the same way too?
//I wanna know...
Then realisation suddenly crashes over her face.
SHIT!
Did I say that outloud?
'Please tell me it's not Xander? I mean, he's great and all but God, Faith, tell me it's not him!'
A snort escapes at that thought.
'Me and Xander? In his dreams! No fuckin' way!'
I watch her visibly relax.
Her shoulders drop a little.
Wow, she really did think it was Xander?
Gross!
A screw maybe, but anything more?
I'd rather hack my own fingers off.
'Look I don't wanna talk about it anymore, ok B? I'll deal.'
What's the point?
Why did I start this anyway?
She's totally out of your league Faith.
She totally ignores me saying no to talking.
She has this puzzled look on her face.
Her mouth's gone all pouty.
I think about kissing her lips.
Just a small kiss.
WAKE UP FAITH!
I need to get my shit together.
//Oh yes I wanna know...
'Who is it? I mean if it's not Xander, I'm going out on a limb here saying it's not Giles.'
I roll my eyes, that thought's worse than Xander.
'Willow has Tara... NO! Not one of them? FAITH!'
JEEEZUS!
Why did I open my mouth?
'No! I don't 'do' the fluffy kitten brigade, jeez B, whadya take me for? And it ain't that freakymoney obsessed ex-demon either.'
She looks pleased at herself as she leans in again, lowering her voice.
'You're narrowing it down now. Hang on, that's everyone. Damn! Come on give me a hint! You're not playing fair.'
//The name of the game
//Does it mean anything to you?
Well she just went up on my dense scale.
I must be far gone 'cause I think that's just plain cute.
I scuff my boots on the floor.
I'm real fidgety.
Why am I telling her all this again?
She's straight and even if she wasn't doubt I'd be her type.
Not skanky Faith.
//What's the name of the game?
'You want a hint?'
I turn round to straddle the wall we're on and lean on my hands in front of
me.
I watch as she takes the same position, mirroring me.
She looks real excited at getting the gossip.
Don't think she will be though.
This is the kind of gossip you'd kill to keep anyone from hearing.
'Yes! Don't make me beat it out of you Faith, you know I could.'
She smiles and my breath catches.
She didn't notice though.
How can she not know?
'I'd smack you down anyday B, you know it. Ok, so to avoid you getting wailed on, I'll help you out. I'll tell you some stuff about them, and then maybe you'll figure it out. 'k?'
She nods her head, like a kid who just got asked if they want extra sprinkles on their ice-cream.
//Can you feel it the way I do?
'I hang with them a lot. Green eyes, that's the first thing I saw, like they make me just wanna stare into them forever, sounds shit but it's true. No weak little chump either. You didn't think I'd fall for someone who wasn't kick ass did you?'
We've locked eyes now.
I try and keep my face calm.
Calm and steady.
But I gotta fire raging inside me.
We're so close.
//What's the name of the game?
I lean in a little closer.
Just a little.
Can almost feel her breath touching my face.
Almost.
'It's complicated because it's the first time I've wanted more than just the sex. Not that I don't want the sex, but now I think I wanna turn over the next morning, and find them still there. I keep thinkin' about stupid stuff, like, what it'd be like to go to a movie with them, or just stuff that involved wearing clothes. I ain't used to it B.'
We're still locked together.
I'm getting lost in her eyes.
//Does it mean anything to you?
Then her voice springs me from my thoughts.
Her voice.
I want to hear that voice telling me what kind of ice-cream she likes.
I want to hear that voice telling me what she wants to do on a day we have just for the two of us.
I want to hear that voice telling me to turn off the bedroom light.
I want to hear that voice telling me how much she wants me too.
'Maybe you should tell her how you feel Faith?'
I thought we'd gone over all... what did she say?
Tell her?
Tell HER?
I blink, tryin' to steady myself.
Ok, so this is what you wanted.
Here we are.
Point of absolutely no return.
I move in closer to her and now I really can feel her warm breath on my face.
'I'm scared that she'll get wigged, B. That if I tell her all that she won't want to speak to me again.'
'But what if you tell her all that and she wants it to? What if she was just too scared to say anything as well?'
I can feel her breath coming quicker now.
She leans in a little closer.
Just millimetres but I feel it.
Can feel her heat bouncin' off me.
I take a deep breath and jump.
'What if I ask her to kiss me?'
God, this is making me hot.
Buffy Summers is making me hot.
I take my weight off my hands a little, and move them forward, so they're just touching the insides of her thighs straddling the bricks.
I watch the indecision on her face, like she's
going through all the different ways this could go.
After the longest pause of my life she finally speaks.
After the longest pause of my life she finally speaks.
'Why don't you ask her and see?'
Her eyes match my own, heavy and glazed.
I don't remember who moved in closer this time.
But I can almost feel her lips on mine.
So near.
'B? Can I kiss you?'
Never had to ask it before, never needed to.
But now I guess I want to.
I want her to tell me she wants me to.
That she wants this.
Wants it as bad as I do.
And she answers with one word.
One word that makes my stomach do flips.
'Yes.'
I move my mouth and kiss her softly, gently.
I feel like I'm gonna pass right out.
It feels like I thought it would.
Amazing.
Her lips under mine just feel amazing.
So soft.
So warm.
I pull away, not wanting to freak her out too much.
A short kiss.
A small kiss.
But still, it was so good.
It was SO GOOD.
I am grateful I'm sittin' down now.
'Cause I think my legs would have given way underneath me.
I feel her hands cover mine, they almost set my skin on fire.
'Can I kiss you again?'
Can feel my breath.
Shallow.
But heavy.
Can feel my chest heaving 'cause of this.
For an answer she moves to me.
Buffy Summers moves to kiss me.
Me.
Faith.
I barely register her hands squeezing mine.
It's her just her lips.
Those lips.
This time I press mine against hers a little harder, wanting to feel more of them.
She opens her mouth under mine and I feel the lip of her tongue touch mine.
SPARKS!
Oh my God!
SPARKS!
Her hands glide up my arms, melting everything in their wake.
Melting me.
Her hands in my hair, pulling me in closer.
I do the same, our bodies are touching now.
I can feel her breasts pushing against mine.
I want her.
More than I've wanted anything else ever.
Ever.
We break for air.
She moves back a little so she can look into my eyes.
Her voice purrs through my mind.
'That was... that was... um... very very very nice. I always thought it would be though.'
A smile floods over my face.
'You thought about kissin' me, B?'
She blushes and it makes her look so cute.
So cute.
'No. I mean maybe. Well yes, a bit. Ok, a lot.
Not like every second or anything, probably alternate seconds.'
'You're gonna break into full babble mode soon
B, can feel it.'
She smiles and wipes a smudge of lipstick off the corner of her mouth.
My lipstick.
My lipstick on her lips.
This is my dream.
My fantasy.
And I think it's coming true.
Giles' voice shakes us out of the intense stare we held.
His head pops round the door.
'I seem to have lost a pair of Slayers. No, here they are, sunning themselves, while Evil prepares to take over the world. Practice anyone?'
I look at B and her smile matches my own.
HUGE!
'Come on Faith, we should get back to training I guess, especially since I seem to have a lot more energy I need to work off. I was thinking, you wanna maybe hang out afterwards?'
'Nothing I'd like more, B.'
She flashes me her 'Buffy naughty' look.
Makes my insides boil.
'Well I'll try not to work all my energy off
then.'
I feel like a million bucks, I'm just one big
smile.
And I'm glad I spilled now.
I'm glad I took a chance and told her.
'Cause I'm one very happy Slayer.
And I'm glad I spilled now.
I'm glad I took a chance and told her.
'Cause I'm one very happy Slayer.
It's all about taking a risk.
I took a chance and I won.
I guess that's the name of the game.
~The End~