| Tips: Preparing For A Terrorist Attack |
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| If flame is shooting out your back, do not run. |
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| If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Deisel, yell really loud. |
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| If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder. |
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| If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor. |
| Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off you! |
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| The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand. |
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| Micheal Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away. |
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| Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it. |
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| Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also they tend to rub their hands together. |
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| If a door is closed, karate chop it open. |