KIWI: Hmm...you know, Alec Thompson does have a nice ring to it... NEIL: HEY! What are you trying to say about me? KIWI: Nuuuuuthin'. *innocent* APPLE: Whatsamatta? Jealous of the nerdy college boy? ALEC: *is uncomfortable* NEIL: I am not jealous! *sulks in a corner* KIWI: Aw, now look at what you've done! APPLE: Can't be any worse than what I'm planning to do to him one day...Hmmm...he had dark hair, yes? O_o *can't remember, should read up on some Red Tales to refresh her memory* KIWI: Yes, dark hair. An' a big sword. And no shirt. :D NEIL: *preens* ALEC: *mutters* NEIL: Who's jealous now? ALEC: *rolls eyes* My boyfriend is the Queen of Hearts. NEIL: ...Not ANOTHER one! ;_; ALEC: Besides...I'm not compensating for anything. NEIL: *glares* What's that supposed to mean? ALEC: Whatever you feel like. NEIL: *blanches* Oh, man...are you coming onto me?! APPLE: Despite popular belief, Neil...not every guy is trying to get into your pants. NEIL: Says the demon who wrote that my fairy godfather tried to sleep with me when I was a child and had me almost paired up with a girly man. APPLE: I'll take that as a compliment. KIWI: So your only real objections are to nancy fairies and girly men? Duly noted. :D NEIL: No! That's not what I - GOLDIE: *poofs into existence* What...the crap. o.o KIWI: MUAhahahah! :D NEIL: *slapping forehead* APPLE: Too bad I'm not all lovey-dovey today...otherwise this might be more painless... NEIL: *blanches* Pain...less? KIWI: Oh, yes indeed...I suppose it'll be rough the first time round...Who do you think is gonna come out on top? NEIL: Come...on top? GOLDIE: *is watching them all, vaguely amused though he is a little worried and confused* KIWI: Hurrah! Another battle of wills! :D NEIL: Wha...? GOLDIE: *blinks* APPLE: They're a bit clueless yet, eh? KIWI: Indeed. Oh, this is going to be so much fun! *bounces* APPLE: Indeed, indeed....so...bad Australian accented trailblazers or British commentators? GOLDIE: *whisper* On the count of three...we run for the hills. NEIL: *nods numbly* KIWI: British commentators this time, I think. We don't have any wee beasties to condescend to this time. :D NEIL: Go! NEIL & GOLDIE: *flee* APPLE: How adorable! They're doing our job for us! KIWI: Shall we? APPLE: Let's. :D *chasing, wheezing a bit* Curse Valentines' Day with its lovely assortments of chocolate! KIWI: But we must catch them! APPLE: I know a way! *snaps fingers* NEIL & GOLDIE: *both trip over an in/conveniently placed log* KIWI:.....You love that log, don't you? APPLE: NeilxThe Log is my OTP. XD KIWI: You can't 'Ship NeilxThe Log...well, I guess you can, if you really want to, but what about Goldie? o.O (Meanwhile) NEIL: Ouch...you okay? GOLDIE: I...crap, I think I twisted my ankle. >_< NEIL: Shit. *looks around* I don't see those creepy women anywhere...but...Just to make sure...*tugs Goldie's arm around his neck, pulls him to his feet* Let's go. GOLDIE: Thanks. *They stumble off together* APPLE: What? I'm entitled to my crack shippings. KIWI: That you are, dearest. But look. They've still gone! APPLE: Ah, don't worry...we'll find them eventually. KIWI: *sneezes* APPLE: Catching cold? Or cliché? KIWI: *sniffles* I do believe someone is talking about me... APPLE: *belatedly sneezes* I concur. (Meanwhile...) GOLDIE: Goddamn...where are we? NEIL: I'm not sure...it's only my third time here, I think...This place is practically an endless void of white...Sometimes, from what I've seen, those creepy ladies pop something up, but usually to.. GOLDIE: To what? NEIL: *blushes in irritation**changing the subject* I think we should be alright here. *settles Goldie to the ground.* Let me have a look at your ankle... GOLDIE: Um...thanks. *awkward silence* *both speak at the same time* GOLDIE: So what do you-- NEIL: So where are you-- GOLDIE: Sorry, go ahead. NEIL: No, it's alright. You were saying? *they go on like this for a while* APPLE: *is hiding behind a newly popped up bush* Finally caught up with them. KIWI: *hiding behind an especially large oak tree* Yes, indeed. APPLE: So....what are our two boys doing, I wonder...? *still talking, about this and that* APPLE: Oh, that's no good. *snaps fingers* *it starts to rain* GOLDIE: Oh, bloody hell. NEIL: *points out convenient cave* Let's take shelter in there. *helps Goldie inside* GOLDIE: *sighs* I'm all wet... NEIL: Well, best to get things dried up ASAP...*begins undressing* GOLDIE: *does the same* APPLE: You know...usually, I'd be happy with these two guys taking off their clothes and all...But they're not doing it for all the right reasons. T_T KIWI: Patience, patience...maybe I should interfere this time? NEIL: *tries to get a fire going* *fails miserably* GOLDIE: No good, huh? NEIL: Yeah, the wood's too wet. *throws down his tinderbox in disgust* GOLDIE: Oh well, it's not too cold-- *the air temperature suddenly drops to about five degrees above freezing* GOLDIE: >_< NEIL: >_< GOLDIE *sighs* Come sit over here, we'll try to keep each other warm. NEIL: *grumbles but agrees* (Time passes) NEIL: This weather isn't getting any better... GOLDIE: Well, schooch closer! NEIL: Schooch? GOLDIE: I couldn't think of another word. NEIL: *schooches* Moved would have worked...shift, too... GOLDIE: *holding onto Neil* NEIL: *shivering a bit* GOLDIE: *shivers too* NEIL: Why can't we have a fire...why? GOLDIE: *serious* Because the wood's wet. NEIL: ...That was pretty much a rhetorical question. GOLDIE: Oh, was it? Sorry... NEIL: *shrugs* *shivers* GOLDIE: *sneezes* Bloody hell...*also shivers* *clings to Neil* APPLE: Okay...this is dragging on a bit...time for Mother Nature to intervene. *snaps fingers* GOLDIE: *butt itches a bit and since he is on Neil's lap for one reason or another, starts rubbing against him in an attempt to alleviate the itch* KIWI: *looks at Apple* Intervene, eh? APPLE: Hey, at least they're rubbing each other up now....kinda. NEIL: O_O What the crap are you doing? GOLDIE: It itches. But this feels good. *clings tighter to Neil, squirms closer* NEIL: There are...better ways of doing that...you know. >_O GOLDIE: Oh yeah? Name one! NEIL: I dunno, try using your fingers! GOLDIE: What, like this? *gropes Neil's ass* NEIL: O_O >_< Knock it off! GOLDIE *shrugs* Fine...Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. NEIL: *looks about grumpily, but can't seem to keep himself...er...'down'* Great...just great...now look at what you did. GOLDIE: It's hardly MY fault I had an itch. NEIL: *growls* You could have done something else... GOLDIE: Oh yeah? Like what? *genuinely curious* NEIL: *grumbles* *shifts away from Goldie as much as possible* I dunno... GOLDIE: Hey, come back...it's too cold. *drags Neil into his lap* NEIL: O_o I'd better not be sitting on what I think I'm sitting on. GOLDIE: Oh? What do you think you're sitting on? NEIL: I'd rather not say. >.< (pauses) Get back on my lap! GOLDIE: *grins* I thought you weren't into that sort of thing? NEIL: *switches, growls* Shut-up, Goldie... GOLDIE: *shifts in Neil's lap* NEIL: *face goes red, tries to calm himself by imagining Wicked naked* What now? Itch again? GOLDIE: No...your lap is uncomfortable. *is sitting on the edge of Neil's knees, away from his thighs* NEIL: *sighs in irritation* FINE. *pulls Goldie close, so that they're spooning* GOLDIE: *squirms and gets comfy* NEIL: *tomato red, says nothing* GOLDIE: This is much better, thanks. ^^ NEIL: Uh...huh...>_< *after a few more hours of cold weather, being naked and squirming on Goldie's part* NEIL: *can barely take it anymore* GOLDIE: *squirms* NEIL: If you...so as much...as move...one more time... GOLDIE: You'll what? NEIL: I'll...make you...regret it... GOLDIE: *quirks brow* Really? *suggestively rubs against Neil this time* NEIL: *growls, but does nothing* GOLDIE: *gets a little bolder, turns around so he is facing Neil, tucks his head in the hollow of Neil's neck, nuzzles* NEIL: Ngh...>.< APPLE: Someone's repressed. XD GOLDIE: *rubbing his body up and down against Neil's* KIWI: Whoo...is it getting hot in here? GOLDIE: *instigates* NEIL: *makes random threats* GOLDIE: [CENSORED] NEIL: O_o....o.o....>_<....<3 GOLDIE: *smirks* NC-17: *commences* KIWI: You know, getting the self-proclaimed straight man to sleep with another self-proclaimed straight man is really difficult. But I like the challenge. :D APPLE: Yeah...that certainly dragged on longer than expected....then again, we did try to do it with little interference on our part for once. KIWI: If you don't count the storm, the drop in temperature, the itch-- APPLE: Hey, at least I didn't make them just jump each other right off the bat, okay? *NC-17 continues* KIWI: This is true. I wonder how we'll handle this situation in the story when it comes up. Or if it does. It's going to be tricky. ^^ NEIL: Just so you know...I'm not gay. GOLDIE: Good. Neither am I. NC-17: *continues* APPLE: *groans* I can only imagine the mass writer's block on this one...I'd recommend role-playing it out, but I don't want to come out as a total pervert to you. WOLF: *appears* I thought you were a pervert. APPLE: Quiet, you. FOURTEEN: *makes an appearance after a long time, walks in* Oh...um...Oh, my. WOLF: What? Never seen two men go at it before? *NC-17 still going on* APPLE: Wow...what stamina. MORGAN: *saunters in* Really. FOURTEEN: Ah, Morgan. *bows* Lovely to see you. MORGAN: *nods* Nice to see you as well, Lord Heart. FOURTEEN: Is that what you're calling me now? MORGAN: Propriety dictates that I do.... FOURTEEN: *stares* MORGAN: *stares back* FOURTEEN: *pounces on Morgan, they make out* WOLF:.......Did I miss something? KIWI: O_O APPLE: Yeah...uh...Well...explanations...hoo boy...well....Fourteen reminds Momo of you...and Momo reminds Fourteen of Red? KIWI: Dear me, that's a bit complicated. ^^ I just hope Carlotta doesn't walk in. MORGAN: *breaks off with a gasp* What was I thinking!? *flees* NEIL & GOLDIE: *still going at it* WOLF: Hey...where's Red? *pout* APPLE: Not that she could yell at him...Or give him the silent treatment. ^^; Did I also mention that they used to be engaged? ^^; KIWI: Fourteen and Morgan...engaged?! APPLE: Yeah, I know...bit of a spoiler for whoever reads these things, eh? KIWI: Well, he should be about somewhere... WOLF: *pouts* NEIL & GOLDIE: *finally sated and sleeping together* APPLE: *gives them a couple of nice warm fleece blankets* KIWI: I wonder how they'll react when they wake up under those blankets... APPLE: Only time will tell. Shall we camp out and watch? KIWI: Sounds like a plan! :D WOLF: *mutters* I'm going to go look for Red. KIWI: *waves* Okay! Have fun and be careful! WOLF: What are you, my mom!? KIWI: Funny you should mention that... WOLF: *looks alarmed* *flees* ---------- NEIL: *pop in* GOLDIE: *walks in* APPLE: Oooh...new victims. XD NEIL: *spots Goldie* *blushes furiously* *whirls around and walks back out the way he came* GOLDIE: *blinks* KIWI: Aww...he's shy. :3 APPLE: Aww....he's remembering what happened last time they were alone together. :D KIWI: Shall we? APPLE: Do let's. GOLDIE: *rushes after Neil* APPLE: Oh-ho? Is he doing the work for us? GOLDIE: Neil ol' buddy! How's about a drink? KIWI: Or maybe he forgot? NEIL: *red in the face* GOLDIE: Eh? What's up? You sick? Don't worry...a cold one will do ya good. *takes him to a tavern* RANDOM GENERIC TAVERN: *appears* GOLDIE: *To bartender* A pint for me and one for my friend, please. BARTENDER: Here ye go, lads. GOLDIE: Drink up, Neil! *tosses his back* NEIL: *takes a weary sip* GOLDIE: Are you alright? You don't look so good. NEIL: *seizes the opportunity* I uh...think I may have a cold. I should probably leave, so you don't catch it. GOLDIE: *Concerned* That's no good. Let me walk you home. I can make you some soup. NEIL: *quietly* Oh gods help me. o.O NEIL: You know what? I don't feel that bad. GOLDIE: Oh, alright then...My good man! Two more pints, then! NEIL: What?! We didn't even get to the first ones! GOLDIE: Yes, but I always wanted to drink you under the table. NEIL: *eyes glint* Is that a challenge? GOLDIE: *smirks* Maaaaaaaaaaaybe? NEIL: You're on! *chugs his first pint* GOLDIE: *Grins* *gets started on his* Drinking contest of epic proportions: *Ensues* NEIL: *smashed after 50 pints* GOLDIE: *ditto* NEIL: You're purty.... GOLDIE: So are jooo.... NEIL: I love you man! GOLDIE: Me, too! BOTH: *cling* KIWI: Fifty pints? O_o APPLE: *shifty* GOLDIE: *kisses Neil* NEIL: *happily kisses back* GOLDIE: *gropes* NEIL: *feels* NC-17: *commences on the bar room floor* RANDOM GENERIC TAVERN: *transforms into Random Generic Bedroom* KIWI: *looks at Apple* APPLE: *continues being shifty* Drunken NC-17: *continues without pause* KIWI: While I appreciate the results, fifty pints still seems like an incredibly large number...I'm surprised they're not sloshing as they move. APPLE: I bet if you wait a little... KIWI: *rolls eyes* *goes quiet to enjoy the lovely show* APPLE: *snickers* Meanwhile, the drunken smexin' turns into drunken love-making. APPLE: Aw, how sweet. See? It got...well, graceful wouldn't be the right word, but... KIWI: Shhh...they're getting to my favorite part. NC-17: *lots of lovemakin* Love-makin': *gradually falls off into drunken sleep* KIWI: Aww....I wish I could stay around and watch the fireworks when they wake up. Unfortunately, I have to flee for the night. *pout*