BEING VS DOING In the year 1968, we moved from a large urban Toronto parish to my first parish in the country. The parish was agricultural rural consisting of three small churches. The largest centre had a population of 350 people. (I think that might have included the dogs.) What a cultural shock for a city person who had never lived outside of Toronto. It proved to be a learning experience in many ways. I actually have many fond memories of that period in our lives. After there for a while I began to notice an interesting use of language. If I asked a person "How you do'in?" they might well answer, "Kind'a used up". After a short time I thought it a rather strange saying rather like some of the Newfie saying I had heard about. However I remember paying a visit to an elderly man whose reply to the question was an emphatic "I'm all used up! I can't even go to the barn these days." It was then that the light came on. In saying he was all used up he meant he couldn't do anything and was useless. When a package of anything is "all used up" the package is useless and is garbage. It is of no value. These people were saying that as they couldn't do anything, (in their eyes), they were useless, of no value. Naturally the result was a depressive personality, with no sense of vitality. They had no sense of worth for who they were. The family didn't seem to understand the problem. Of course they were of the same culture. I learned to engage them in conversation. It was easy. I was a city boy who needed to learn something about farming. I asked them questions and they loved the role of teacher. That was the role they new well. They were a repository of 'agriwisdom', (my word), not the type of stuff you got from going to school. I heard stories about the old days, before electricity, when horses were the source of power. I then tried to indicate to them how much help they were to me. Then how important they were to their families, no longer for what they did but by virtue of who they were. They were the centre of family life, and love. The family traditions centred around them. They were an essential part of their grandchildren's lives. Since then I have often talked, (sometimes in sermons), about the fact that 'who we are' is more important than 'what we do'. What we do will flow naturally from who we are. If we look after our spiritual lives our actions will flow naturally. Doing pure, and good works is only heroic for the person of questionable inner nature. So who am I? In part I am a gender enriched person, (some would say transgender). Out of that comes the things I do,including the way I dress. |
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