JAEL by JOHNNY 

 

 

 

  

 Johns American English Lab.

 

              

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Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important?

영주

원분

   Knowledge is power. As it says, possessing rich knowledge is so important that it nearly decides one's assured life. From books or personal experiences, people can learn abundant information but I prefer latter one because I believe that ideas from books are not as valuable and fundamental as those distinct experiences.

   First of all, real life experiences are v effective because their lessons stay far longer than the memorized information from books. For example, students remember much clearer the experiments that they themselves performed than those they gained from the books. Secondly, I read books about Thailand before I had traveled there but those facts I got from books were not as helpful as the experiences and vivid memories I gained there.

   On the other hand, books teach us a lot and express the sophisticated ideas in easier ways, which helps people understand much faster but there is a limit to what they teach. And contents in the books tend to be subjective by authors and the ideas present in books on historical reality or abstract fiction are still a creation of the author's own experience of reality.

   When it comes to the gaining knowledge, both books and personal experiences have its own advantages but I prefer one'a experiences. Although books contain enormous and detailed ideas, the ideas, especially on history, v they can be limited by author's imagination. In my opinion, they cannot compete with experiences which give vivid and long lasting memories.

******Comment: = 참고바람

The key point is which one do you value more? So, if I were you, I would have wrote this way; Books contain a lot of information, fact, the best guess in the histories, and the like…But time changes as all the others are developing and evolves in our life time, So we learn from the books and use it as directions or quotations for our upcoming real life experience, Thus the books can teach us some but complete learning is eventually from the experience. Finally, not learning from the books can lead us to bad situation, and the life experience will be more than worse to recover. So both are equally important, Books give us directions and experience completes the lessons in our life.

 





Future
Question is the "importance" (주제관련)
As those distinctive experiences
those from experiences
 
V  more / much more
U can see it =awkward.
Verb (read / had traveled)= awkward.
I can get it but somehow something is not very natural enough though.


*Nothing is wrong but.. can be better.
_ ,which = Very Good !!!

*
Historical- and the rest is not very according...

 
 

v 상황의 반전 = but / however

 

 

 문장을 어떻게 구성 하는가 에 대한 아이디어는 이제 어느정도 잡힌것으로 생각됨 짧은 시간동안 많은 발전 추카추카 - 이제부터 기본 300 단어 시간내 빠르게 채우는 훈련요구됨.

 

 

수정본

   Knowledge is power. As it says, possessing rich knowledge is so important that it can greatly influence one's future. From books or personal experiences, people can learn abundant information but I value latter one more because I believe that ideas from books can not be always true depending on the real time situations. 

   First of all, real life experiences are more effective because their lessons stay far longer than the memorized information from books. For example, students remember the experiments much more and longer than those they gained from the books. Another my own example is that, I had read books about Thailand before I traveled there, but those facts I got from the books were not as realistic as those experiences and vivid memories I had there.

   On the other hand, books teach us a lot through many forms of information, like facts, analysis, histories that are of course the authors' best guess I believe,  or the prospects and so on, in which people understand much faster. But there is certain limit to what the books can teach us because the books can still contain the presence of subjectivity by authors or the best opinion even on historical events that can not be precisely the same as mine.

   When it comes to the gaining knowledge, both books and personal experiences have its own advantages but I think the experience gives the real lessons. Although books contain enormously detailed ideas, especially on history, that still are the author's best guesses. In my opinion thus is that the vivid and long lasting real time learning can give the most positive impact on people's life if the experience happens relatively early enough.

__________________________________

작은 표현들을 좀더 세심하게 다루면 완벽할 수 있었음 전체 구조 면 에서슨 거의 파악/완성 된 것 같음. 문장과 문단 세부 표현에 좀더 신경 쓰면 좋을듯...



 

Very nice starting with fine sentence-paragraph construction. To save the time U cn Us "more important" As it ws in the question

 

 Nice supporting expression of what U r thinking

 

brought up the merits of books, but still the merits of experiences are the .......good..
 


Now I cn see u r using the last learning keys to construct these lines....Cool!!

Last summarizing point & wrapping up r excellent.

 

작은 표현들을 좀더 세심하게 다듬으면 아주 완벽한 글이 될수 있었음. 암튼 특히 구조 면에서는 이제 거의 완성이 같으니. 문장과 문단의 세부 표현과 구성에 신경을 조금씩 ….

 

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