| JC, drinking more and more every day, sat on the hard couch of the tour bus. He watched the liquid in his bottle tremble with each bump in the road. He listened to the signs of life in the bus-in the bunks. JC walked over to the one whose curtain was pulled tight. Joey and Justin hadn't realized someone was awake. He listened to the quiet moans, and watched the vibrations of the curtain as elbows or legs or whatever else hit it. The other occupied bunk contained the last two group members. JC peeked in to see Lance curled against Chris, strong arms keeping him safe and warm. He took another swig from his bottle before reaching his hand down to the sleeping blonds forehead. When he did so, a shudder went through Lance's body, which caused the arms around him to tighten. JC let himself fall to the ground, spilling his drink. Why couldn't he have that? FLASHBACK A young man who hadn't quite grown into his nose laughed at the sophomoric jokes pouring from the mouths of the actors on his TV screen. A hand found it's way to his shoulder. "Hey, Mike." "How you doing, Josh?" "I'm ok. Do you want to watch TV with me?" "I'd really rather do something else." "Like what?" The older man sat down next to him, placing a hand on his thigh. "Like you." "Umm... Mike, are you drunk or high or something?" "I thought we were friends." "We are, but not that kind of friends." "You're so naïve. You don't realize you want this." JC pushed a hand away. "I'm pretty sure I don't want this." Mike slammed his fist on the couch cushion. "Why do you have to fight like this?! Are you trying to make me mad?!" "No, but I really just want to be friends." "And I don't. You need to learn to compromise." JC tried to stand up, but was pulled back down. "It's part of friendship." "I really don't want this. I need to go." Mike gave JC a hard kiss and turned him onto his stomach. He pulled against the hands holding his arms down. "Let me go!" Soon, his face was pressed deep into the cushion. "Shut the fuck up! I swear, Josh, you are the worst friend ever." Tearing his pants, Mike got to what he wanted and left the sobbing mess on the couch, canned laughter contrasting with his cries. FLASHBACKOVER That lonely night, there were no loving arms to hold him. JC walked into the tiny bathroom and looked into the mirror. He ran a hand through his short hair and wondered what there was about him that made him so unlovable. He pulled off his shirt and saw no problem there. What was so wrong with him? He wasn't ugly. He wasn't an asshole. He jumped when a knock came to the thin door. "Who's there?" "It's just me, Justin." JC opened the door to see the young man. Justin looked down at his stomach, eyeing the tight abs. "Man, I forgot how good you looked." "Thanks." Justin walked into the tiny room, closing the door behind him. "Tight fit, huh?" "Yeah." He wrapped warm arms around JC, who became light headed from the scent of sweat on Justin's skin. The younger man planted a kiss on his chest. "What about Joey?" "He won't care. Don't think about him." JC let his back be pressed against the flimsy wall. It felt so nice to be held. "You know what, Jace?" "What?" "I may be young, but I know what a man wants. You'd be amazed what I've learned in so few years." JC moaned as rough hands rubbed every muscle in reach. Justin reached for his zipper, but hands pushed him away. "Not right now, ok?" "Sure, man." Justin gave him one more passionate kiss, and opened the door. "I love you, Justin." The door closed as the curly haired blond walked off to his own bunk. JC went back to his bunk, not knowing if he was loved or not. |
| Loving you; Sucks to be JC |