BRING IT ON MANIA
The Script Page
PART 2
(scene shift - Torrance, Les and Jan are picking up Missy
outside her house)
Les Where is she?
Come on.
(Missy appears outside, wearing her new cheerleading uniform)
Jan Whoa!
Les Whoo!
Torrance Wow!
(does that dancing bit - background song 'As If' begins to play)
Whoo!
Les Just too... No way!
Jan Sexy mama!
Whoo!
Take it off!
Whoo! Wow!
(scene shift - inside the car)
Torrance You sure I can stay over your house tonight?
Missy Totally fine.
My parents are at some benefit.
They'll be pouring themselves into bed around dawn.
Torrance Good. We got to start early.
You'll be a star cheerleader yet.
All the cheerleaders in the world wouldn't help our football team.
Les Man, it's just wrong!
Cheering for them is just plain mean!
Jan Everybody comes to see you ladies anyway.
Missy Because we're such fine athletes.
Jan Oh, live with it!
You'll be fighting off major ogles while we defend our sexuality.
Missy What is your sexuality?
Les Well, Jan is straight, while I'm... Controversial.
Missy Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?
Les Oh, fluently.
Missy And courtney and Whitney--
Dyke-adelic?
Les No.
Are you kidding?
Jan I don't think so. See, um, Courtney doesn't wear anything under
her spankies.
Les That's no excuse, Jan!
Jan I can't help it if my digits slip occasionally.
Missy Nah-uh. "slip"?
Where?
Les Oh, come on, missy!
Don't make him say it!
Missy Oh, my god...
Jan My god, too.
Les You're a sick man, Jan.
(scene shift - at the football game)
Announcer Now, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together
For the rancho carne toro-o-os!
Spectator (clapped weakly)
Rancho carne, go.
Announcer And now, let's hear it for the five-time national
cheerleading champions,
The mighty toros!
(The Toros came running from the side. Spectators go crazy)
Come on. Do it.
Go, toros!
Come on, toros! Whoo!
Go, toros!
Come on, toros!
Come on! Yeah!
Yeah, toros! Yay!
Yay! Hooray!
Yeah, yeah!
Torrance: come on, guys, let's do that kick!
Yo-oh-oh, everybody!
(scene shift - to the middle of the football field)
Costa Mesa Footballer 1 Why don't you let your cheerleaders play
for you?
At least they win shit occasionally.
RCH Footballer 1 Aw, man, is that the best you got?
RCH Footballer 2 Yeah, come on, bring it on, butt plug.
Costa Mesa Footballer 1 Oh, you want more? Ok.
While we're out here kicking your ass, your cheer boys
Are over there...scamming on all your squirrel.
Costa Mesa Footballer 2 Which is cool, since y'all don't have dicks
anyway.
RCH Footballer 1 Mm-hmm.
Bitch! Whoa!
(the footballers got into a fight)
(scene shift - the cheerleaders from the opponent's team got the
Toros attention)
Costa Mesa Cheerleaders
(cheer) Hey, toros!
That's right!
The red, black and white!
Guess what! Guess what!
You really suck!
The Toros
(cheer back) Hey!
That's all right! That's ok!
You're gonna pump our gas someday!
That's all right!
That's ok!
You're gonna pump our gas someday!
(scene shift - between the football game, the crowd and the
cheerleaders)
Come on, guys, touchdown!
Let's go! Now!
Oh!
Nice.
14-nothing.
Go! Go!
Announcer And with 4:50 left in the third quarter...
Losers!
Announcer Costa Mesa, 34, toros, nothing.
(scene shift - focused on the Toros trying to get the crowd to
cheer with them)
Come on, dee-fense, work!
Spectators: work!
Knock 'em down!
Roll 'em around!
Come on, dee-fense, work!
Work!
(Whitney and Courtney notice that Torrance is flirting with
Cliff)
Knock 'em down!
Roll 'em around!
Come on, dee-fense, work!
Work!
(Jan lifts Courtney and giving her an underwear harassment)
Courtney Ow!
Unh!
Oh!
Jan!
Jan (looking at his hands, smiling) Come on! Come on!
Go, toros!
Come on, toros!
Courtney (approaching Torrance with Whitney) You're, like, totally
his icon.
God, I can't believe you'd do that to Aaron.
Torrance Do what?
Courtney Especially with him.
Torrance What are you talking about?
Whitney Oh, don't play dumb.
We're better at it than you.
You're having cheer sex with him.
Announcer Flag on the play called against...
You guessed it--
The toros.
Remember, our next defeat is scheduled
For Friday night at 8:00.
The Toros (cheer) Let's go, to-ros!
Let's go, to-ros!
Let's go, to-ros!
Let's go, to-ros!
(The Toros notice the Clovers coming down from the stands)
All right!
We're sweet!
We got no lip, we can't be beat!
We're the best!
Our team's too cool!
We got the best
To rock this school!
Ohh...
(The Clovers mimicking the same routine)
Yeah!
We bad!
We got the team, we can't be had!
We're the best, so score that point!
You win the game, we'll rock this joint!
Go, toros! Go, toros!
Go! Go!
Go, toros!
Go, clovers! Go, clovers!
Go! Go! Go, clovers!
Our game is fierce and we are hip, so get on back, you can't touch this!
Our game is bad, we're with our peers, so get the weak men outta here!
The Clovers Try to steal our bit!
But you look like shit!
We're the ones who're down with it!
(The Clovers left)
Torrance Jeez...
Courtney I still say we use the routine we have.
If we have to start over, I quit.
And that's the game!
Torrance Whoever here is for a new routine, raise your hand.
(everyone raises their hands including the spectators)
Footballer 1 Jan's got spirit, yes, he do.
Footballer 2 Jan's got spirit, how about you?
Jan Dude, you just lost!
(scene shift - Torrance is sleeping over at Missy's place)
Missy So, is every game that eventful?
Torrance No. Thank god.
We have a real situation on our hands.
I mean, we were humiliated on our own turf!
Missy We might have to have a rumble!
Torrance This is a serious problem!
Missy So is your breath!
Torrance Oh, my god!
Yeah!
(scene shift - Torrance walk out but stops at Cliff's room, where he was playing the guitar out loud)
(Missy notice Torrance standing at Cliff's doorway)
Missy What are you doing?
Torrance Um... Where's the bathroom?
Missy Right there.
(Missy look at her bro, followed by the brushing teeth scene between Torrance and Cliff)
(scene shift - at Missy's bedroom)
Torrance Night.
Missy Night. Are you into my brother?
Torrance No. I have a boyfriend.
(scene shift - it's morning and Torrance is calling Aaron inside
Missy's bedroom)
Aaron
(waking up from bed)
Hello?
Torrance
Aaron?
Aaron
Torr? Is that you?
Torrance
Where have you been? I keep trying to call you!
Aaron
I know, but I'm, like, totally busy with school. What's up?
Torrance
Oh, it's bad, Aaron.
Miss red snaked our routines from the East Compton Clovers. All of our routines.
Aaron
What?
Torrance
And they found out about it.
They showed up at the game, gauntlets were thrown...
Tell me you didn't know about this. I mean...I don't know what to do here.
Aaron
Oh, of course I didn't know! But you got to calm down.
This is not that big a deal. Everybody uses everybody else's material.
It's like this unwritten rule or something.
Torrance
That doesn't help me. We can't do their routine at regional
Because they're gonna do their routine at regional.
Aaron
Come on, Torr, you need a new routine, that's all. No problem.
Just hire a professional choreographer.
Torrance
A choreographer?
Aaron
Look, just think of it as collaboration.
The UCA. Totally looks the other way. Call this guy.
His name is, uh, sparky polastri. Won the nationals last year.
Knows his shit, all right? Here's the number: Kasey5-7219.
Torrance
Thanks, Aaron. You always know what to do.
Aaron
Mm-hmm. Bye, baby.
(a woman suddenly woke up beside him)
Woman
Hm. Who was that?
Aaron
My sister. Mm. But you're not my sister, are you?
(meanwhile back at Missy's room)
Torrance
He says we should hire a choreographer. (begins to dial the number)
Sparky
Hello.
Torrance
Hi. May I please speak to Sparky Polastri?
He'll need three or four days to teach us the routine.
(scene shift - Torrance and Kasey are at Darcy's locker)
Kasey
But here's the thing: It's gonna cost us $2,000.
Darcy
What, do I have the letters "a-t-m" tattooed on my forehead?
Torrance
We were thinking more like "d-a-d-d-y."
Darcy
Maybe I can get $500.
Torrance
Ok. Then we only need $1,500 more by Monday.
(scene shift - at the car wash. Les was recording everyone in
his camcorder)
Les What's up, whitney?
Whitney
Mwah!
Les
Hi
Here we are in the Rancho Carne Toros carwash to raise a little money.
Yeah, baby, yeah!
Work it, Kasey!
Come to mama.
Looking up!
Working hard for our money.
That a shot glass?
Yeah, right.
Give it a little buff job.
That's good!
Oh, that attracts the dorks!
Good!
Shaking the booty!
Missy, what the hell are you doing?
Watch out!
Dude, watch out for the camera!
(everyone is spilling water at everybody else)
(Cliff make his entrance to the car wash, looking directly at
Torrance when Missy boobs got in the way)
Cliff
Aah!
Missy
Hand over your 15 bucks or get out of here.
Cliff
What are you doing?
Missy
Making money from guys ogling my goodies.
Cliff Aw, I didn't need to hear that.
That was an over-share.
Missy
Hey, Torrance!
Come here a sec.
We'll just get this over with.
My brother wants to check out your rack.
(Missy left, leaving Torrance and Cliff alone)
Cliff You know, I begged my mom for a brother.
Torrance
He'd look a little ridiculous in that bikini, wouldn't he?
Cliff Yeah.
Torrance
So... Nice car.
Cliff Yeah. Um...
What Can I say?
I drive hard.
Torrance
It shouldn't take long to wash.
Cliff Oh, don't even worry about it.
I got all afternoon.
Torrance
I'll bet you do.
(scene shift - The Toros at their gymnasium)
Courtney
Where the hell is this guy?
Torrance
Listen, we're lucky he's even doing this for us.
(the door opens. Enter Sparky with a boom box and started to play
out a music and dance to it)
Prepare for total domination.
Domination... Domination...
Y'all ready for this?
Crazy...
Torrance
Thanks for coming--
Sparky
Don't speak to me.
You. You have weak ankles.
One of your calves is bigger than the other.
Too much makeup.
Not enough makeup.
What's with the skin?
Say it with me:
Sunlight.
Male cheerleaders...
'Nuff said.
Smile.
Don't smile.
Chee.
Good general tone and musculature.
Report those compliments to your ass before it gets so big,
It forms its own website.
And you...I take you to be the captain, which means you'll probably
Need more work than anyone.
Torrance
Look, you don't--
Sparky
Shh! Shh!
Torrance
But I--
Sparky
No, no, no.
Don't speak.
Don't think.
Listen...
And learn.
I am a choreographer.
That's what I do.
You... Are cheerleaders.
Sparky
Cheerleaders are dancers who've gone retarded.
What you do is a tiny, pathetic subset of dancing.
I will attempt to transform your robotic routines into poetry
Written with the human body.
Follow me... Or perish, sweater monkeys.
Sparky
I want you to think of what you ate today. Got it?
Now cut that in half. This is called a diet.
Everyone start one today. Uh, Darcy, honey, you should stop eating.
You see, when you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores,
And if you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass.
Courtney
Why does everyone have to go on a diet?
Sparky
Because in cheerleading, we throw people in the air,
And fat people don't go as high.
Come on! Come on!
Let's get back to work!
Sparky:
Aloft!
No, more dangerous!
Come on, I want a flick that'll snap her neck!
Spirit fingers!
Give me spirit fingers!
Spirit fingers!
Give me spirit-- aww...
What? I told you I'd catch you!
Look, I understand you have underwear up your ass right now,
But it beats the hell out of a shattered skull.
Think about it.
Get ready for the
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Sparky
Ok now, spirit fingers. Spirit fingers! Right... Spirit fingers!
Oh, my god! These...are not spirit fingers.
These...are spirit fingers. And these...are gold.
(scene shift - in Missy's lawn. Both Torrance and Missy are
practicing the spirit finger routine)
Missy
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8--
Missy
Oh, screw this! I did not sign on for spirit fingers.
Torrance
Come on! The spirit fingers are great! (Missy got inside the house)
We're so screwed.
Cliff:
Hey.
Torrance
Hey.
Cliff
What's the matter?
Torrance
You don't want to know.
Cliff
Ah. Cheer crisis.
Torrance
I've just gotten so bogged down in all this... Crap.
Cliff
Well, if it's crap...why do you do it?
Torrance
I don't know.
Cliff
So quit.
Torrance
Maybe I should.
Cliff
Yeah. If you don't like it anymore.
Torrance
I didn't say that.
Cliff
It sounds like it.
Torrance
I don't know what I want.
Cliff
I remember back when I cheered at my school in Detroit.
Torrance
You cheered at your other high school?
Cliff
No, I never cheered, but I know what you're going through.
And regardless of all the politics, the doubts... And the crap...
You just have to know that you can do it. And if it helps...I know you can.
Torrance
You do?
Cliff
Yeah.
Missy:
All right, all right! Ready to make a fool of myself!
State regional, here we come.
(scene shift - at the regional, the Toros make their entrance)
High school division, please check the signs!
If you're not here......hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done...
Go, broncos!
(Whitney and Courtney lining up to check in)
Courtney
Some of these uniforms look so skanky!
Whitney
Whatever.
Whitney
They're white trash.
Courtney
Where do they get those?
Whitney They're white trash.
(a girl accidentally bumped onto Courtney)
Courtney
Oof!
Cutter!
I'm gonna kick your ass, you evil whore!
Little Girl
Get over it, hag!
Courtney
No! She did not just hit me!
Whitney She's a little kid!
Courtney
You little--get off me!
Girl, leave me alone!
Courtney
Stop it, Courtney!
(scene shift - to a squad performing. A mother came running to
the judges table)
Mother
Hi.
You. Yes.
Your head was down.
Your head was down during that move.
How're you gonna give a proper score
If you're not looking, if your head's down during a move?
(scene shift - Darcy and Kasey walking together in another
section of the regional venue)
Darcy Remember...they give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.
Kasey
Did we bring those?
Darcy Oh, no.
Look who's here.
(scene showing the Clovers making an entrance)
Kasey
Hi.
(Isis ignored her)
Darcy
We're in trouble.
P.A
And now, making their first appearance at the UCA.
California regional, the east Compton clovers!
Spectators
Yay! Clovers!
Who!
(the Clovers did their routines)
(scene shift - Torrance and co were interviewed by a TV
reporter)
Reporter
I'm standing here with five-time national returning champions,
The rancho carne toros!
The Toros
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Leading the squad this year is senior Torrance Shipman.
Torrance, one of the things we've come to expect
From the toros over the last few years is a highly original routine.
Can we expect the same this year?
Torrance
Well, I think everyone goes out there the same way:
Being as prepared as they can be and just hoping for the best.
We're just glad to be back here and eager to see what
Some of the other squads have come up with.
(at the background, the spirit fingers music suddenly appears)
Prepare for total domination...
Toros Cheerleader (from the background) Isn't that
Sparky?
Reporter
Well, thank you, rancho carne toros, and good luck.
(the Toros ran onto the side of the performing venue)
P.A
And now, the mighty muskrats of mesa Cucamonga!
Missy
Spirit fingers.
Kasey
They stole our routine!
yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
(scene shift - Torrance and Missy at the back of the performance
site)
Torrance
It's the curse!
Missy
What?
Torrance
The spirit stick curse.
Missy
Will you lay off with that?
There's no curse, and you're not going to Hades.
Torrance
Newsflash.
Look around.
We're in Hades!
Man Rancho Carne, you're up next.
P.A And now, from San Diego, California, the five-time
National champions, the Rancho Carne Toros!
(the Toros came out onto the stage)
Spectators
Yeah!
Yeah, yeah! Yeah!
I bet this is good.
( the spirit fingers music were on )
Prepare for total domination.
Domination... Domination...Domination...
Judges Didn't we just see this routine?
Y'all ready for this?
yeah! yeah! yeah! yeah! Yeah!
Big Red
What the f...
(The Toros finished off their routines)
P.A Ahem! The rancho carne toros, ladies and gentlemen.
Go, toros...did they screw that up.
(the Toros came running to the backstage, when Torrance bumps
onto Isis)
Isis That was, um...interesting.
Y'all should just have stuck with our routines.
Yeah.
Don't worry. We'll send you a postcard from Nationals.
P.A Next up, the Mighty Beavers of San Bernardino.
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