Over the next several days, Alexa rested and allowed her body to heal. She saw Haldir daily, and could not have gotten rid of him, even if she had wanted to. On the day she was to leave Lorien, she went in search of Haldir to say goodbye. It was a difficult search, for he was the one that usually sought her out, and for that reason, she did not know where to look for him. She began at his talan, and then moved to the gardens and the stables, but all were to no avail. She finally found him near the entrance to the city, standing beside his horse, ready to ride out.
“Haldir? I have come to say goodbye, for I am leaving today.” She noticed that he was heavily armed. Worry spread through her. “Where are you going?”
“I am going into battle. There are a large number of orcs passing through our lands, and I and my wardens are going to defend our borders.”
She looked at him, determination shining in her eyes. “Then I shall go with you and help, to repay you and the people of Lothlorien for all your kindness to me.” ~And to protect you, Haldir, for I cannot bear the thought of any harm coming to you,~ she added silently. Surprise ran through her at that thought. ~What is wrong with me? Why does this Elf make me feel so... strange?~
“No. I will not allow it,” Haldir said.
Her blue eyes flashed with anger. He tried to explain. “It is not because you are an elleth, for in Lothlorien, elleths are allowed to choose their own paths. It is because this is not your fight, Alexa.” He looked into her eyes. “And because I do not want anything to happen to you,” he added softly.
“It was not your fight when you helped me either, Haldir.”
~She is so relentless!~ He shook his head. “This is my position in life: to defend the people of Lothlorien. You must go on your journey to Rivendell now.”
She sighed, resigned. She was far too tired to argue her point further at the moment, and she knew that he would win this argument anyway. “Very well, Haldir. I came here to say goodbye and to thank you for your kindness to me.”
“You are welcome, Alexa.” He ran his knuckles lightly along her cheek. “I will miss you,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion.
She looked into his eyes and smiled gently. “And I you, Haldir,” she said softly. “Goodbye.” She turned to leave, but he caught her arm. She turned back and looked into his eyes. What she saw there excited… and frightened her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. As she returned his kiss, the small flicker of emotion that she had been feeling ignited into a blazing flame. An intense longing awakened within her, and she knew that she could no longer deny herself the ability to feel. After a long, heady moment, he released her. Touching her hair, he looked into her eyes, all the love he felt for her evident.
“Come back to Lorien once you find what you are looking for. I will be here waiting for you.”
She nodded and touched his cheek. “Goodbye, Haldir.” She smiled and turned away, walking towards the stables. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to stay, but she knew that she had to leave. She had business to attend to.
Haldir watched her walk away, his heart heavy. He was still reeling from that kiss. Kissing her was a heady experience. He sighed. He hoped her journey would be swift, for he loved her and would miss her terribly. He smiled slightly. Alexa was so different from anyone he had ever known. She had seen and experienced things that would have destroyed most people, yet she had survived. He loved her fiery, independent spirit, and the stubbornness that he had once found annoying, was now something that made him cherish her all the more. He mounted his horse. “Goodbye, Alexa.” He turned and rode to join the Galadhrim.
* * *
Alexa left Lorien and headed west towards the Misty Mountains. As she crossed the mountains, thoughts of Lorien and Haldir faded, and a deep loneliness overtook her. Her mind became consumed by thoughts of her father, the Elf that she held responsible for all of her suffering. The love that had begun to awaken in her heart vanished as hatred once again consumed her. She hoped that killing her father, an Elf she now hated with every fiber of her being, would bring to right the darkness of her past and at last, give her peace.
The mountain weather was intense and slowed her pace, but she pressed on, determined. After several weeks, she made it through the Mountains and turned North, heading for Rivendell. The night before she would reach Rivendell, she sat beside the campfire, thinking about how she would accomplish her task. ~I must look like an Elf, if I am to appear to belong among these people and not arouse suspicion.~ She reached up and loosened her hair, which spilled down her back in long, golden waves. Combing it out, she tucked it behind her ears, making sure that her Elven ears could be seen. She looked at her clothes. Although they were a man’s riding attire, she believed they would suffice. She leaned back against a log and stared up at the stars. She needed little sleep now that she was well, so she was content to spend the night watching the sky and thinking about her entrance into Rivendell tomorrow. She sighed. This was not going to be easy.
