Haldir had looked everywhere for Alexa, and no one had seen her. He had searched the stables, the healer’s ward, and the gardens, but to no avail. He wanted to find her to see how she was faring. He sighed, for he knew that was not his true purpose in searching for her. He really just wanted to be near her. He was about to give up when he saw her, sitting on a bench, her blond hair flowing freely down her back. He smiled. He walked up and stood beside her. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Yes. It is beautiful here. I have never seen anything like these golden trees. What are they?”
He sat beside her. “They are Mallorn trees. Lorien is the only place in Middle-Earth that they grow.”
They sat quietly for a few moments, staring out over Lorien. “Haldir, how can the Lady Galadriel know the things she does? It is as if she can see into my very soul.”
“She has the gift of foresight, Alexa. She knows the hearts of the people around her.”
“Yes, that she does.” She looked at him. “Haldir, what is your position here in Lorien?”
He looked at her, surprised. He realized he had never told her much of himself either. “I am the March Warden of the Galadhrim, the wardens of Lothlorien.”
She looked at him, her blue eyes twinkling with amusement. “So, I was not rescued by an ordinary Elf, but by the captain of a powerful army. I am a lucky girl.” She lowered her head in a little bow. “Thank you, my lord,” she teased.
He laughed. “You are a lucky elleth. I do not leave my pedestal for just anyone.”
She laughed then, and the musical sound seemed to fill the air around him. He looked at her. He loved to see her smile. Until now, she had always been so cold and hard, so fiercely guarding her heart. Her smile showed a gentler side to her soul, one that she did not show very often.
She looked at him then, her mood serious. “I really do want to thank you, Haldir. If not for you, I would be lying dead along the road somewhere. How can I ever repay you?”
“Knowing that you are safe and healing well is payment enough for me, Alexa.”
“Still—”
He cut her off. “No payment is necessary, my lady. I am just glad you are safe.”
She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Rising, she looked into his eyes. “Thank you, Haldir,” she said, and walked away.
He stared after her. She walked slowly, slightly hunched over. She is still in pain. He touched his cheek where she had kissed him. He did not realize until that moment that his heart was pounding. He shook his head. He had tried to ignore the feelings he had for her, and yet they had still grown. He sighed. He had gone and fallen in love with this elleth, and there was nothing he could do about it. One look into her beautiful, fire-blue eyes, and his mouth went dry. He smiled slightly. He had always thought he would fall in love with a sweet, gentle Elven maiden. But he had gone and fallen in love with the most stubborn, spirited, beautiful Elf he had ever met, one who had walls harder than stone sometimes. Yet, he knew he had seen in her a softness and vulnerability that she had allowed few others to see. He sighed, his heart still pounding.
~My lady, what are you doing to me?~
* * *
Alexa walked away, feeling Haldir’s eyes upon her. She could not believe she had kissed him, even if it was only on the cheek. She never did that sort of thing. She sighed, annoyed with herself. This place, that Elf, was getting to her. She winced as she walked up the stairs to her room. It still hurt terribly to walk, and stairs made it all the worse. She sat down on the edge of the bed and poured herself a glass of water. She sighed. She knew what she had to do. She had to leave. She was starting to care too much for this place and its people. ~I do not know how far I can get, but I must try. Only pain will come from staying here.~ She sighed heavily, for she had learned well from the experiences in her past. ~Pain always comes when I begin to care for something or… someone.~
Rising, she picked up her cloak and fastened it around her neck. Taking up her weapons, she left the room and headed for the stables. It was a long walk, and she had to stop several times along the way, for the muscles in her abdomen were aching terribly from strain. She was panting heavily by the time she arrived at the stables. She looked over the various horses, until she saw Spitfire. She walked over to his stall and opened the gate. The horse whinnied in delight, for she had not seen him since Haldir had brought her here. ~Haldir.~ She shook off the feelings his name brought, and walked over to her horse.
“Hello, my friend. I have missed you terribly.” She smiled as the horse nuzzled her hair, and she hugged his neck in return. She sighed. “We have got to leave, boy.” Spitfire snorted and stamped his hoof defiantly, obviously not wanting to leave. She stroked his neck. “Yes. We are leaving. I cannot stay here anymore.” She put his bridle on. “We will be all right,” she said, trying to reassure herself as much as the horse, for she was having doubts as to how far she could travel. She sighed heavily. Her ability to travel was not the only thing troubling her. She scratched Spitfire’s ears, and he whinnied softly. “It will just be the two of us again,” she said gently. “It will be better this way.”
She saddled Spitfire and mounted, wincing in pain as she did so. Taking in a deep breath, she rode out of the city and into the countryside. When she was a short distance away from Lothlorien, a cloaked rider appeared before her, startling her. Her eyes narrowed as she saw the furious look on the rider’s face. She moved her hand to the hilt of her sword and gripped it lightly. As she neared him, the rider’s knuckles whitened as he tightened his grip on his horse’s reins. He threw back his hood, and she halted as she recognized Haldir. He dismounted and stormed over to her.
“Where are you going?” he asked angrily as he caught her horse’s reins. “You are in no condition to ride anywhere yet.” He looked up at her, his eyes full of hurt. “Were you really going to leave like this? Without saying goodbye?”
Her heart ached with pain at the look in his eyes. “I thought it would be easier this way,” she said, dismounting. “How did you know I had left?”
~Graceful change of subject,~ Haldir thought in annoyance. “I am the March Warden of the Galadhrim. I know all that goes on in Lorien.” He looked into her eyes. “Why are you leaving?”
“I have things I need to do,” she said, lowering her eyes.
He tipped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “What are you afraid of, Alexa?”
She pulled away from him. “Afraid? I am not afraid of anything. It is just time for me to leave. I have business to attend to in Rivendell.”
~So her walls are back in place.~ Undaunted, he pressed her. “Yes, you are. I can see it in your eyes.”
She looked at him then, her eyes cold and hard. “I am not afraid,” she repeated and turned back to her horse.
Haldir caught her arm and turned her around gently. He searched her eyes. “You are right. You are not afraid. You are terrified. You are beginning to like it here, and this frightens you even more than Mordor itself.”
She lowered her head. He tipped her chin and gazed into her eyes. “You are afraid of what could happen,” he said softly.
Alexa’s heart fluttered as she looked into his eyes. She pulled away from him, her emotions in turmoil. She was surprised, for she knew that he was right. She was afraid. She sighed and looked at him. “You are right. I am afraid. And that is why I have to leave.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I am starting to hope, Haldir. To feel… things. I cannot allow myself to do that. Every time I have, I have suffered greatly for it.”
Haldir saw the haunted look in her eyes. “How so, Alexa?” he asked gently.
“Everyone and everything I have ever cared for has been taken from me.” She shook her head. “I cannot go through that again. So I am leaving before it can happen.”
He saw the pain in her eyes. “I will not stop you when you are ready to leave, Alexa. You have my word. But you are not well enough to leave yet. Stay until your wound is fully healed. Please.”
Alexa saw the determination in his eyes. He was not going to give up. She sighed, resigned, for she knew he was right. She was still in too much pain to leave. She looked up at him. “Very well, Haldir. I will stay until my wound is healed. But then I am leaving.”
He nodded and took the horses’ reins. Her heart jumped as he took her hand. She looked at him as they began walking back to Lorien. It would only be a few more days.
