Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Watching

The Biker Mice From Mars

Always count on the Plurtarkian double-triple cross. There is occasionally an odiferous advantage to being a Plutarkian. In this wild and woolly universe there are only three things you can count on, your brains, your bros, and your bike! The hostage is almost always the female member of the group. They're the Biker Mice! And they don't use doors. Heroes never admit that they are hurt. You can't look studly in a cast. Never leave your bike behind. Nobody beats Modo at Broadies and Bottles. You NEVER mess with Throttle's bros. If you have a girl, you get all the fun saving her. There's Biker Mice work to do! There's no time like the present for a little road test. All's fair in love and war. Macho mice can be intimidated by one determined grease jockey. When in doubt, blast everything! Say it like you mean it, fighters! Modo's dear old grey-furred mama is very wise. Food looks free on the mousetrap. If being tough, cool heroes was easy, everybody'd be doin' it. Mind your manners and act polite. The female member of the group almost always gets left behind. The way you say hello to friends is to start fighting. A bike is very protective of its rider. Never hit a lady, and never mistreat a lady either. Men are the same everywhere, unfortunately. Never call the Biker Mice rats. Everyone wants to be reminded never to have kids. Couples should work together, it makes for a healthy relationship. It isn't a real adventure unless it's life-threatening. There is no air at the top of Mons Olympus. Beware of women on the rebound! They're the best! 'Course, so are their bikes. Violence never solves anything. A little exercise never hurt anyone. Trashin' the tower always comes last. Mice are such creatures of habit. Zip out of three ain't bad. 23 million miles doesn't matter when it concerns what a woman will and won't hear. Don't judge a book by its cover, even if it is leatherbound. Don't dump a girl on prom night. There is no fun in going out the other hole that was blasted when you came in. When destroying machines you may have to verify the leagalities. Speak softly and carry a Big Grenade. It's not the size of the lazer, but how you use it. Speak softly and carry a small detanator. Having an empty head makes ya' float. Vinnie is a course hazard. To be a detective all you need is to be tough, cool and a hero. Don't ride under the bird. Nobody's perfect. Fairy Tales can come true if you're a mouse at heart. Courtesy is the rule of the road. Rootbeer makes the party! There are too many dresses in Shakespear. Shakespear never did write a decent woman's role. No harm, no foul. Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you. You can't make an omlett without breaking a few Raven eggs. Gerald Ford may pardon, but the Biker Mice? Never!! When dealing with a Plutarkian a mouse must have a stiff upper butt. When in a standoff, it's always best to send "grandma". There are tabloids on Mars too ya know. Drab is not Vinnie's color. If the building is still upright, then you can still claim you were restrained. Only the Biker Mice would enter a motocross race with nothin' but chili dogs as the prize Environmental causes are in. A Plutarikain's legacy is measured in what he does not leave behind. Do everything by the heroes handbook. Best to fight and run away, and whip some tail another day. For a Plutarkian, cowardice is the better part of valor. Martian Squirrel Bats can see in the dark. When the going gets tough, the tough whip tail! Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. The Biker Mice From Mars were born to be cool. Loosin' your root beer bottle opener is enough to ruin your day. The knights sure do fly by! It ain't over til the fat fish squeals. Better than horse power, mouse power! Life, liberty, and easy access to live bait. It's not just a job, it's an adventure. If we set it, they will come. Why walk out when you can blast out! Never approach a bad tempered horse from the rear. Always shower to avoid being mistaken for a Plutarkian. You can't be a rebel without a cause. If you can't stop the party, crash it! Sometimes you gotta have a little luck. Never count on lousy non-union Plutarkian craftmanship. Never met a Mace I didn't hate. Snitches are always paranoid. Rats think with thier tails. Eat, eat, you're a growing mouse. Beatin' up goons, impressin' the ladies, savin the world, nothin' out of the usual. No more mister nice goon. You know how it is, one's tied to the other. Always remember one thing; Wherever you go, whatever you do, ride free Citizen! Too much is never enough!

This page copyright (c) 1998 - 2007 by Lania Lynn