WELCOME
Culture shock is a very real syndrome suffered by many unsuspecting visitors to Minnesota.
The following is a checklist of items to remember in order to avoid mass hysteria and/or frostbite.
- Down south to us means Iowa.
- Snow tires come standard on every car.
- People from other states love to hear us say words with O's in them.
- You know what uff-da means and how to use it properly.
- You have refused to buy something because it's too "spendy".
- You know more than one person who has hit a deer.
- You have apologized to a telemarketer.
- The fist time you saw "Grumpy Old Men" you thought is was a documentary.
- Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay Packer sticker on a Minnesota car.
- You have either a pet or a child named "Kirby".
- Your home town has an equal number of churches and bars.
- You know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi and Shakopee.
- You think ketchup is a little too spicy.
- You drink Pop, not Soda.
- You never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialogue.
- You've gone trick-or-treating in three feet of snow.
| Daily 3® | Gopher 5® | Rolldown® | Powerball® |
Computer Terms For A Minnesnotan
- Log on: Making the wood stove hotter
- Log off: Don't add wood
- Monitor: Keep an eye on the woodstove
- Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup
- Megahertz: What happens when you drop a log on your toe while downloading
- Floppy Disk: What you get from piling too much wood
- RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the wood splitter work
- Hard Drive: Getting home in a snowstorm
- Prompt: What you wish the mail was in a snowstorm
- Windows: What you close when it's 30 below
- Screen: What you need for the mosquito season
- Byte: What the mosquitoes will do to you if you don't have a screen
- Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag
- Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around
- Modem: What you do to the hayfields
- Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's daughter
- Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
- Keyboard: Where you hang up your keys
- Software: Plastic eating utensils
- Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
- Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the frame up
- Port: Fancy wine tried once by Farmer Matrix
- Enter: C'mon in
- Random Access Memory: You can't
remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks
