Mary's Letter

May 2, 1999

What I have to say is nothing that Ari Wolov's loved ones do not already know. Ari was truly a special person, and a joy to be around. Ari was the type of person whose presence could immediately brighten a room. He had the gift of laughter, and the ability to see humor in every aspect of life. I will always remember his pleasant attitude, and how he made me laugh.

More importantly, Ari was the most loving and caring man Lisa had ever known. I remember the weekend when they first met. Lisa called me on the phone, and said, "Mary, I know this sounds crazy, but this is the one! I want to spend the rest of my life with him." At this point, I really thought that Lisa had lost her marbles. She had only known this guy for forty-eight hours, and here she was, ready to make a life long commitment to him. I was happy for her, but at the same time, I couldn't believe it. However, I knew better than to try to talk her out of it. I knew what Lisa was like once she got an idea into her head, so I kept my mouth shut. I said to myself, let's see how this plays out.

A few weeks later, I met Ari. Immediately I saw the couple's care and devotion to one another. I noticed how much Ari cherished my dear friend, Lisa. His love was strong, loyal, and steadfast, from the day they met until his last day on this earth. The day Ari died, he had written out a to do list for the following day. At least eight out of ten things on that list were all about Lisa, Take care of Lisa's car, get this for Lisa, do that for Lisa, everything was centered on her. Lisa was Ari's world. That is a truly remarkable thing. Some people go their whole lives without ever experiencing such love. Once I saw them together, I knew it was right.

Yes, Lisa and Ari's relationship moved very fast, right from the get go. But if it had not, they wouldn't have had nearly the amount of time to treasure each other as much as they did. Who could have predicted that their time would be so limited? Deep down in their souls, could they possibly have known that one year was all they would be given? One Valentine's Day, one Hanukkah, one birthday for each of them to celebrate together. Is that why things progressed so quickly? Who knows? But Lisa can take comfort in knowing that the two of them made the most of their short time, and never took each other for granted. I will always be grateful to him for how happy he made Lisa this one year.

Ari had a friendliness and warmth about him that will forever touch my soul. He was the type who made one feel at ease. Whenever I called for Lisa on the phone, and he answered, he would greet me with such a pleasant enthusiasm. It really made me feel good. I will always remember Ari as someone who made me smile.

It has been over a week since Ari has left this world, and it is still hard for me to accept. But I tell myself that he isn't really gone. He will always be with the ones he loved, in their hearts and memories. He is now a heavenly being who watch over all of us. Although, he will be greatly missed.

On the day after Ari died, I went to Lisa's apartment to be with her. I was happy to see that she was surrounded by her family and many friends. When nighttime came, we gathered together in prayer. Afterward, Lisa took out a very good bottle of champagne. "I know this is untraditional," she said tearfully, "but Ari had bought this and had been saving it for a special occasion. Instead, let's pour it and toast him." And so, we did. We gathered around the table in remembrance of a wonderful person who touched our lives so briefly, and realized that we are all better people for having known him. And then we sipped the champagne, the champagne Ari had purchased with such happiness, the champagne Ari's tongue would never taste, the champagne Ari had been saving for a special occasion. It was then that it occurred to me: Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Everyday you're alive is a special occasion.

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Ari and I with Mary and our friend Frank at the holiday party the night Ari proposed to me. Mary, Frank, and I met while we were training to become EMT's. Ari was eager to join my volunteer squad with me.