Created: November 23, 2004
New information will have a color to mark its date.

There are many things I have learned and experienced in the last year since coming out.

The one thing that stands out the most is the confusion surrounding our community and who we are.

There's one question that is often ignored, but it is the most vital to who we are. Why?
To put the answer simply, we are born this way. It is society that pulls us to conform with what is typical, until the day we learn of our trueselves. And very often we carry the same misconceptions that those who do not support us have. I know I did. And now that I know, I've made it my responsibility to try to let it be more publicly known.

One of these common misconecptions is that a Male to Female transsexual is gay.
(As my experiences have given, my references will be MtF. In the future, FtM may be available if it is given to me)

Gay - One who is masculine (male lifestyle)  but is attracted to other men.

Tootsie - One who is male, with a varying effeminate lifestyle, and attracted to other, typically masculine men.

Transvestite - One who lives the life mixed between than of a man and a woman. They are often more flamboyant and sexually involved, usually with men.

Transsexual - One who may carry the traits of a transvestite or that of a woman. Here is where things are (often) confused. They may be attracted to men, thus being heterosexual or women, being homosexual.

My stages for coming out and how I have passed through these experiences.

Pre-coming out - In the two years before offically coming out, there was something inmy mind that got me excited about a woman's life. I followed some patterns similar to that of transvestite's. I lived a man's life, yet I was aware, unware and confused about things happening. My actions became more expressive, even my posture and walk changed into that of a woman's. My libido increased, but sex became boring.

Coming out - I knew this was right for me. I automatically started to steer away from the male life that I had. However, I was still in the middle and acted like a ladyboy. My libido dropped way down and my physical went to zero.

Pre 100% - In the many months that followed coming out, I still was inbetween. Out of work I was relaxed and myselff. But, when I went to work, I had to be hidden behind men's clothes and that would cause releases of energy put into actions hoping for some people to see me for who I am. However that backfired, causing others to become perturbed at this outwardness.

100% - Now that I live my life completely as a woman, I have no place to hide anymore. Most people know now. If they don't they will know sooner or later. There will be some excitement in telling them, yet I have found they just see me as I am and move on with daily life. The fanfair I sought in the past is completely unnecessary. In fact, I don't want it. I just want to have a regular life. Like that of any other woman. I work a regular job - teacher, and I'm very protective of myself. I stay away from a lot of men, especially those who go out of their way to intrude on my life. I don't go out alone at night and I don't let people touch my breasts. The nurses just love to do it because they can't believe they are real - no implants. They are only for my girlfriend.