Amazin' Amazin' Amazin'


K Q J 10 4 3
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Q 7 3
K 10 6 3
6 5 2 9 8
J 4 Q 9 7 5 2
10 9 5 J 8 6
Q J 8 5 4 A 9 3
A 7
A K 10 8 6 3
A K 4 2
7 Opening lead: 4 of clubs

SouthWestNorthEast
1 ! Pass 1 NT! Pass
2 ! Pass 2 ! Pass
2 NT! Pass 3 ! Pass
3 ! Pass 3 ! Pass
3 NT! Pass 4 ! Pass
4 ! Pass 4 NT! Pass
5 ! Pass 5 ! Pass
6 ! Pass 6 ! All pass ! Alerted

Whenever I think I've found the ultimate in landing in the wrong contract with all the bidding time in the world and no interferance by the opponents, I find one to top it. Thirteen bids to miss . . . That's how I began the last entry and I found one to top that! Now it's sixteen bids, all alerted, including the last one, which is rather rare, to miss their best resting spot.
Well, it coulda been worse. These guys were dependent on a 3-3 diamond split, which panned out for them, giving them a mediocre 54% when the far more lucrative 8-card spade fit was bringing in 77% -- and was not dependent on 3-3 diamonds, for what that's worth.
What do you do on a heart lead? (I have the printout of a pair that bid to six spades and went down!). That declarer shouldn't have had any trouble. Win with the A, sluffing a club and lead toward that K of clubs. It may be the contract-making lead. But no, the Ace is in the wrong hand, and let's suppose West wakes up and leads a trump. Whaddya do? You let it ride to the K (Q, J, 10), ruff a club with the A, come to the closed hand with the Q of diamonds, draw trump and claim, two clubs going on the A, K of hearts.
That declarer didn't need a 3-3 diamond break, but he did need a little more common sense. He hopped to drawing trump, which put him at the mercy of a 3-3 diamond break. No, it put him at the mercy of a 3-3 diamond break and watching the diamonds fall. Unfortunately, this declarer not only threw away a perfectly good ruff of a club, which avoids dependence on 3-3 diamonds, but then didn't notice when a stroke of luck gave him a 12th winner in diamonds. He ruffed the 13th diamond and went down one.
What do you do with a trump opening lead and then when you lead toward your K of clubs, lose that to the ace and get another trump lead? Well, it would seem that that declarer would be dependent on a 3-3 diamond break. But as so often happens, bad luck early in the hand is offset by good luck and that's what he finds. But wait! Declarer isn't totally dependent on that diamond break!
He would have a squeeze if West is guarding the 3rd round of hearts and fourth round of diamonds. And we see how close the distribution is to that. Declarer must run his trump, which takes us to trick 7 (one club & six spades). At the end of that trick, West could not hold four diamonds and three hearts, and would've been squeezed had he held those hearts and (at least) one more diamond. East, of course, would not be squeezed, discarding after dummy. He would merely keep the same number of cards in each suit that dummy holds.