*~*POEMS*~*

THE ABC
-Spike Milligan

'Twas midnight in the classroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud 'Tut-tut!'

Said A to B 'I don't like C;
His manners are a lack
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!'

'I disagree' said D to B
'I never found C so.
From where I stand, he seems to be
An uncompleted O'

C was vexed. 'I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape
I'm made like that, to help you spell Cat
Ans cow and Cool and Cape'

'He's right,' said E; said F 'Whoopee!'
Said G, 'ip, ip, ooray!'
'You're droppping me,' roared H to G
'Don't do it please, I pray!'

'Out of my way' LL said to K
'I'll make poor I look ill.'
To stop this stunt, J stood in front,
And presto! Ill was Jill.

'U know' said V, 'that W
Is twice the age of me
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he.'

X and Y yawned sleepily
'Look at the time!' they said
'Let's all get off to beddy byes.'
They did, the 'Z-z-z.'