Kevin, Lucy, and Finding Answers

Transcribed by Holly

Lucy is sitting in the dark in her hotel room, hugging a stuffed animal of Christina's. Kevin is knocking softly on the door.

Lucy: Go away.

(More knocking)

Lucy: Go away!

(Kevin unlocks the door and comes in)

Kevin: Lucy?

Lucy: Don't touch the light.

Kevin: Alright. I won't. I've been worried about you.

Lucy: Well, you have no right to just come in here. Where did you get my key?

Kevin: The manager gave it to me.

Lucy: Then I'm going to call him.

Kevin: I told him I thought something happened to you. You won't take any calls, you haven't answered any messages. No one's even seen you for two days.

Lucy: Here I am. You see me. Now go!

Kevin: I'm not leaving.

Lucy: I'll go.

Kevin: That's a good idea. We'll take a walk. Did you know it's a beautiful day out? I bet it would do you good. (He opens the curtains) Look at that.

Lucy: Doc, I don't want you to be a shrink. I don't want you here to shrink me. If you're gonna do that, you gotta go now. I don't want that.

(Kevin walks across the room and picks up a video tape)

Kevin: Christening?

Lucy: Her birthday party.

Kevin: Lucy, I've never seen you like this.

Lucy: Well you know what? I am--I've never been like this.

Kevin: But you've been through so much before, to just give up without a fight--that's not you.

Lucy: You're shrinking me.

Kevin: That's your friend talking.

Lucy: Well, if I had a very good, dear friend, he would understand what I'm going through and he wouldn't badger me, and my very good friend would just leave me alone.

Kevin: Actually Lucy, I would. I would. But you have several other people on this ride with you.

Lucy: I don't want to hear it. If this is about Scott--

Kevin: I've already seen him.

Lucy: --I don't want to hear it.

Kevin: He's in a lot of pain, Lucy.

Lucy: I cannot hear about Scott's pain. I cannot hear about his guilt, and I will not hear anything about him.

Kevin: Alright, then tell me what you do want.

Lucy: Doc, I--I want answers! I want to know what happened, what happened to all of us! What did I do? Did I do something wrong? Was I going down the road and I should have turned right instead of left? What happened? Why did the universe do this to me? I want to know that!

Kevin: Lucy, you did the best you could with what you had! That's all any of us can do!

Lucy: No!! That--that--it's not good enough!! It's not.

Lucy: I know I'm not perfect. Boy, YOU know I'm not perfect, Doc of all people, but whose eye, whose eye did I spit into to deserve all of this?

Kevin: Lucy, you're not being punished.

Lucy: It--it feels like it, though. It feels like I am. I just wanted to be a mom. That's all. I-I wanted to be a mother, and every time I try it doesn't work. Why? Doc, our baby--remember when we lost our baby? Do you remember what that felt like?

Kevin: Like it was yesterday.

Lucy: And it hurt so much, didn't it?

Kevin: Right to my soul.

Lucy: Ok, there. Now take that, and imagine having that baby, holding her. For a whole year, she's in your life and you love her, and you nurture her and you take care of her, and she brings you more happiness than you ever dreamed was possible.

Kevin: But I do know that, Lucy. I watched you with her for that whole year. You're a wonderful mother--to BOTH your girls.

Lucy: But I guess I--I wasn't good enough.

Kevin: No, no!! No, that is not true. It was like a second skin on you, Lucy. You make it look so easy!

Lucy: That's because it IS so easy. Loving children is SO easy. You just love them, and they love you back with that unconditional sweet, wonderful love.

Kevin: It lights up all the dark places, doesn't it?

Lucy: Yes, yes, it's like you've been searching your whole life for it, and you found it.

Kevin: Then keep that light on, Lucy, keep it on. Keep it on for Serena, and keep it alive for Christina when she comes BACK.

Lucy: I can't, I can't.

Kevin: Because it hurts too much?

Lucy: Oh, Doc, you don't know.

Kevin: I can imagine, Lucy.

Lucy: How? How can you--

Kevin: Because I was there, too. I was in that place that is so black you can't even find the surface! And I know it's like you're drowning.

Lucy: I--I need you to go. I need you to leave right now.

Kevin: Lucy, Lucy, you were there for me, in fact you led me out of it. Now it's my turn. Let me!!

Lucy: I can't, Doc. I don't want to put you through that. Why would you want to be there. I don't--

Kevin: I don't have any choice! That's what friends do.

Lucy: Why?

Kevin: (putting his hands on her shoulders) Because I care about you. You matter to me, Lucy. And because you're hurting, and because you're feeling alone, and abandoned, and you're NOT.

Lucy: I--I--No, see Christina's gone!! My baby is gone!

Kevin: And the rest of us don't matter?

Lucy: Get out, then!! Just get out of here! Go!

Kevin: Lucy, you don't have to be alone!!

Lucy: Yes, I do.

Kevin: No, you don't! You don't have to sit in here, in the dark, all by yourself, watching this tape over and over and over again, alone!

Lucy: YES I DO! (she throws the tape on the floor)

Kevin: (putting his arms on her shoulders again and looking into her eyes) You know what happens, don't you? You know what happens? You get so comfortable in the pain, that you can't get out!! And then you do drown.

Lucy: Doc, you just don't know. You have no idea. You just don't know.

Kevin: Maybe I don't.

Lucy: Maybe no one should have to know this. Maybe no one should have to feel this. Maybe no--no--(she begins to sob as Kevin takes her into his arms)

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