Damian's Bequests

They are in Lucy's office again today, and both are holding letters requesting that they attend the reading of Damian's will. Lucy insists:

L: "No, no, no, N-O, no. How many times do I have to say it? No!"

K: "Lucy, not going won't accomplish what you want, and this thing isn't going to disappear."

L: "I won't do it. This is weird, this is creepy, and it's premeditated and it's making my stomach feel all queasy. C'mon, why in the world would be want to be willing participants in this - I don't know what this is?"

K: "For the sole reason that I've been trying to convey to you. The executor of Damian's estate is bound by his word and by honor and by the law to relay Damian's last wishes, which means we either go to him, or he's just going to come to us."

L: "So, we just leave the country."

K: "Lucy."

L: "Oh, Doc, c'mon, you can't tell me that you really want to go to this thing."

K: "Well, there is just a small, small part of me that is intrigued."

L: "Why?"

K: "I don't know. Some perverse level that I don't quite understand yet. Oh, I just want to see what he had on his mind."

L: "It's kind of a shrink thing, I guess."

K: "Yes, I suppose it is."

L: "You know, sometimes I think you're as strange as he was."

K: "Does that mean we'll go?"

L: "Okay. If it can't be avoided, then I guess we have to go."

(The phone rings. Lucy goes to answer it. It's Steve Hardy, looking for Kevin so he can badger him some more about heading up the twin study. This is news to Lucy.....)

L: "Oh, the TWIN STUDY." (Kevin looks up a bit guiltily at these words. He tells Steve he needs more time to decide. After he hangs up, Lucy asks:)

L: "A twin study?"

K: "Mmm hmmm."

L: "Sounds fascinating."

K: "Mmm. Could be."

L: "So I take it you are considering it."

K: "Yes."

L: "I see. Were you going to tell me about this?"

K: "Of course."

L: "Soon?"

K: "Very soon. As soon as there was something to tell. As you heard, I haven't even made a decision yet."

L: "But you did say you were considering it."

K: "Yes, I am considering it. But that doesn't mean anything, Lucy. I'm asked to participate in any number of studies all the time."

L: "Right, but how many of those studies involve twins."

K: "So far? None, but that doesn't mean..... actually, that's what makes this one compelling. I do have a reasonable basis for curiosity."

L: "Yeah, you sure do, that wretched brother of yours."

K: "Ryan's dead, Lucy. Taking part in a twin study won't bring him back."

L: "Okay, I know. I guess it's just that, you know, icky 'twin button' thing."

K: "I understand."

L: "Thanks. So, I guess we have to go to this thing if we're going to go. You don't want to just change your mind, do you?"

K: "Come on." (Kevin holds out his hand.)

L: "Okay." (Lucy takes his hand and they leave.)

We see them next as they arrive at the will reading. Lucy is hoping that Damian left them all money "in atonement," but everyone else tries to explain why the idea is silly. The "gifts" are distributed. Kevin gets a red teddy with black lace trim and a note saying, "Dear Norma, this is you - hope it's not too small." Lucy gets a crystal ball and the note, "Contact me any time."

(Afterwards, we join them back in Lucy's office, where Lucy has a fine rant going.)

L: "I don't get it. I just don't get it. After the way that man hounded me, relentlessly pursuing me, spouting all that garbage about, 'We're soul mates,' for crying out loud, how could he do it? How could he leave that thing everything, and all I get is a stupid crystal ball?"

K: "Lucy, at the risk of being crude, Damian Smith would have said anything to you if he thought it would get you to take your clothes off. It's called sexual obsession, and if you don't stop going on about it, I'll begin to think it wasn't one-sided."

L: "Oh, brother, that is nonsense! It's just so shocking, that's what it is. I mean, everything he said was one big, fat lie. Oh, Doc, I just wonder why he couldn't leave me just one little thing, you know, after all the suffering and pain he inflicted on me because of that stupid, ridiculous bet."

K: "I see what this is now. This is just one of those things where you have to run out of steam? Fine. I won't interrupt, I'll just let nature take its course."

(Kevin picks up a magazine and tries, without success, to focus on it as Lucy goes on and on and on.....)

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