Kevin, Lucy, and Blame

Thanks to Beth-Anne for transcribing this episode

This takes place the week after the miscarriage.

We open on the trio (Kevin/Lucy/Scott) talking about Serena. Karen is on the phone with Scott asking him if he can meet her at the Recovery room and he tells her that he is not sure if he should leave Serena alone. Lucy who is sure something is up asks what is going on. Kevin then tells Scott that he can go meet Karen and that they will watch Rena. Scott leaves and then Kevin comments...

K: He's fine. Why are you up?

L: Oh I was just having a little trouble falling asleep. You know maybe it's because I don't go to sleep to well without you lying next to me.

(Kevin walks over to her and hugs her)

K: I think I can fix that. Are you alright? There's no pain or anything?

L: Nope. No pain.

(Oh Doc there is pain but not the kind you are thinking of!)

K: Well we're up. We're wide awake. Maybe there is something really aweful on tv like one of those Japanese horror flicks or something.

L: You know I keep trying to think. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault. But I what I was really doing was lying there obsessing over what could I have done differently.

K: Loosing the baby, wasn't your fault. Dr. Neumann even said so now you have to believe that.

L: No what I believe is I shouldn't have been getting myself stuck in an elevator, and I shouldn't have been going around dodging bullets, and I shouldn't have been trying to negotiate with the kidnappers. That's what I believe.

K: Dr. Neumann specifically said that there was nothing either one of us could have done to prevent it. You didn't cause those other things to happen.

L: Maybe I could have done more though. You know I could have taken more vitamins, and I shoulda drunk more milk, and should have gotten more rest, you kept telling me get more rest that's what you said.

K: You can't blame yourself for something that was out of your control.

L: I don't know that I was the mother the little baby is inside my body and is trusting me to take care of it. you even said--

K: Then forget what I said. You didn't do anything wrong.

L: I don't know if that is true. I just keep seeing the look on your face when I told you I was pregnant. And then the look on your face when you realized you were going to be a daddy for the first time. And then I keep seeing the look on your face when they told us there was no hope.

(Lucy disolves into tears and Kevin holds her and in the sweet and tender way he has of putting others before himself tells her...)

K: Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't worry about me. Of all things don't worry about me.

L: I tricked you.

K: What?

L: I told you that the pregnancy was an accident. It wasn't. Doc I planned it. I planned it because I just didn't know how you would feel. I took everything into my own hands. And that is why we lost our baby.

L: I was wrong. Very wrong. I should've-- we should've decided something like this together. But not me I just took matters into my own hands.

K: Why because you wanted a baby and you didn't care what I thought.

L: No.

K: I didn't think so.

L: Doc, what I thought, was that you would be a wonderful father. And I thought the world needed a child who was raised by somebody like you. And I thought and I prayed that this would make you see what a wonderful person you are and I knew that you would give the child so much that you didn't have.

K: And you knew I wasn't sure.

L: Yeah, so I tricked you. And I shouldn't have done it.

K: Actually in your own roundabout way you actually did something right. If this had never happened Lucy, I never would have realized just how much I want to be a father. For a short time I was a father. You've shown me that I want children. I want them with you.

L: You're just trying to make me feel better at this time aren't you?

K: I didn't know I wanted a family. I just wanted you. Now for the first time in my life I can see having both. And that's because of you. And your tricks your stupid train-wreck-of-an-idea tricks.

L: My stupid, stupid tricks. Your right there just stupid. I don't know what is wrong with me, I just keep thinking that I can have everything my way, whatever I want I can get it. I don't have to face and accept what is real. But Doc our baby, our little baby was real and what I just didn't take it seriously enough and that is why we lost the baby.

K: Lucy you can't think like that.

L: That is all I have been thinking about. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep I was pregnant, but all I could think about was Serena, and I know it was a life and death situation but I also knew that stress could do this, We both know that stress can cause a miscarriage. I just refused to believe that was going to happen, I wouldn't let myself because I knew I'm Lucy, I can do anything and make anything I want happen...

K: Alright stop it. You didn't cause those things to happen Lucy it was Greg Cooper who kept you stuck in an elevator and fired a gun at you. You did not cause that to happen. It was the bastards that kidnapped Serena and threatened her life. You did not cause that to happen. Their the ones you should be angry at, their the ones you should blame not yourself.

L: I really want to be as angry as you are, I really wish I could be, but Doc I'm not, I'm just so sad.

K: I know. I know. It's painful Lucy. It's just so painful. It's painful to see you like this, and it's painful to feel like this.

L: But I just can't think about the people that you blame for doing this to us. All I can think about is our little baby. I love you so much. I just-- I love you.

K: I love you.

(They pull together and cry and thus creating one of the most touching scenes in their history!)

Home        Back To Transcripts