Kevin, Lucy, and Six Interruptions

As our scene opens, we see Kevin and Lucy outside the lighthouse. Kevin is arriving home from his stay in the hospital, and they are hurrying to the door while kissing enthusiastically. Kevin fumbles with the key in the lock; Lucy reaches over to try to speed the process.

K: "Well, that's okay."

L: "Well, let me help you with it."

K: "Excuse me for just being a little anxious to get you upstairs."

Kevin gets the door open, and they enter what they believe to be their empty house, eagerly anticipating being alone to make love. Until.....

INTERRUPTION #1: The house isn't empty after all. Serena and Gail are sitting at the table. Kevin and Lucy freeze at the door for a moment, and then there are greetings all around, with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Kevin states the obvious with false jocularity:

K: "It's Serena and Gail!"

L: "Yes, it is."

G: "Well, welcome home, Kevin."

K: "Thank you, thank you very much."

S: "Can I give you a hug, or will it hurt?"

K: "A hug would feel just great." (He lifts Serena up for a hug)

L: (to Kevin) "Tell me about it."

K: (to Lucy) "Yes, I know." (to Serena) "All right, little one, what have you been up to?"

S: "Well, Grandma says I can have a Halloween party, and I'm inviting my whole class."

K: "Oh, that's just great. What are you going to go as?"

S: "I'm going to dress up as one of the Spice Girls."

G: "Ah, but mean old Grandma said they don't wear enough clothes, you know, so I was afraid she might catch pneumonia."

L: "Not if you wear enough make-up."

S: "Can I dress Sigmund up as a chicken?"

G: "Well, if it's not beneath his sense of duck dignity."

L: "You know, I'm going to have to ask Sigmund about that. He might prefer being, say a swan, perhaps."

K: "I think a rooster would be good."

S: "Would you like to help us with the invitations?"

(The verbal tap dance which ensues can't be done justice in writing, but here is my best effort at its reproduction. Gail watches it with growing amusement.)

L: "Uh, yeah, I would - "

K: "In, in a little while -"

L: "It's just, uh, Kevin's really, really - "

K: "I would like a nap."

L: "He's tired. So tired -"

K: "Very tired right now, yes - "

L: "And so we're gonna go -"

K: "Go upstairs - "

L: "Yeah, yeah - "

K: "And, uh - "

(They're running out of excuses. Gail comes to the rescue:)

G: "Don't worry about it. I'll help her with the invitations." (She winks at Kevin and Lucy, unseen by Serena.)

K: "Oh, thank you. Okay. We'll see you after.... a while."

(They nearly run out of the room.)

Later, we see them in their bedroom, which is awash in candlelight. Kevin sinks down to sit on the bed as Lucy leans over him, kissing him. The conversation below takes place with frequent interruptions in mid-sentence for kisses.

L: "Nurse Coe is reporting for duty, Doctor."

K: "You know, no one on staff looked anything like you."

(Lucy unbuttons Kevin's shirt; he unbuttons her dress.)

L: "I hope no one on staff treated you like this either."

K: "Only the night nurse."

(Lucy squeals and pushes Kevin, causing him to fall back in a reclining position.)

K: "You know, she did that too."

L: "I hope she didn't kiss it and make it all better."

Lucy leans forward and kisses Kevin's neck. Kevin's eyes are closed; he is lost in what Lucy is doing to him. Until.....

INTERRUPTION #2: There is a knock at the bedroom door.

G: "Ah, excuse me, Lucy."

L: "Gail, yes, what is it?"

G: "Well, we were just wondering if you have any stamps."

L: "Stamps? Yeah, drawer, desk, left, cubbyhole thingy."

G: "Oh, okay, thanks a lot. I'm so sorry to interrupt."

K: "You didn't interrupt anything..." (more quietly) "yet."

Kevin and Lucy return to the process of kissing while undressing each other. Until.....

INTERRUPTION #3: The phone by the bed rings. Kevin ignores it until Lucy objects.

L: "No, that's your private line."

K: "I don't care."

L: "You've gotta get it. It might be important."

K: "I don't care."

(He means it, too. He continues to unbutton Lucy's dress.)

L: "But what if it's Scott about those darn blood tests?"

K: "Now I really don't care."

(Lucy picks up the phone and holds it in front of Kevin's face.)

L: "Kevin Collins....."

K: "Oh, please!"

(Kevin grabs the phone, annoyed.) K: "WHAT?" (He listens for a moment) "I don't know - I'll ask." (to Lucy) "Do we serve the #4 without anchovies?"

L: "What?"

K: (back into the phone) "I didn't think so. No, we don't. Goodbye."

L: "Give me that." (she hangs up the phone.)

K: "Now, where were we?"

L: "You were telling me what the night nurse did and didn't do for you."

K: "Oh, no, actually, I was going to show you."

Kevin pulls Lucy down onto the bed. He rolls on top of her, and they kiss passionately. Until.....

INTERRUPTION #4: Lucy's cellular phone rings.

L: "Ignore it."

(Kevin looks up while Lucy kisses his neck.)

K: "It's amazing."

L: "Hmm?"

K: "I kiss you and I still hear bells."

L: "I gotta get it, don't I?"

(Kevin doesn't answer, but his dejection is obvious. Lucy gets up off the bed to retrieve the phone.)

L: "I gotta - I gotta - well, I have to. You know what, I hate this thing. I tell you what, as soon as I get done I'm going to smash it with my heel and break it to smithereens." (Addressing the telephone, as she finds it:) "You're supposed to improve my life, not ruin it!" (She answers the phone) "Hello? Oh, Serena, no, no, you're not bothering us one little bit..... Okay. Bye."

(Lucy hangs up the phone and puts it away. She heads over to the bedroom door.)

L: "Guess what? We're about to get a delivery."

K: "A delivery?"

L: "Yeah, it should be right, just about now."

(Lucy leans over to pick up a piece of paper which has been slid under the door.)

L: "Oh, Serena, it's beautiful. Thank you!"

S: (from the other side of the door) "You're welcome! Nighty night!"

L: "Nighty night!"

(She is holding a drawing Serena made for Kevin. Lucy walks over to the bed to show it to him.)

L: "Oh, look at this. It's absolutely gorgeous. 'Welcome Home, Kevin.' Isn't she talented?"

(Lucy hands Kevin the drawing and kneels on the bed, leaning against him, looking at it.)

K: "Ohh.... So this is what it's like to have children."

L: "I think so. Do you mind?"

K: "No, not at all. It's just, at this rate, we're having trouble adding to the population."

(They smile ruefully at one another.)

When we rejoin them, Kevin is sitting at the foot of the bed wearing dark-colored boxers and nothing else. He is gazing, entranced, at Lucy, who is wearing black underthings. She notices his gaze.

L: "What?"

K: "I just haven't seen you like this in a while. I was just savoring the moment."

(Lucy walks over to Kevin and leans over, kissing him.)

L: "Mmm. Well, maybe you'd better savor it rather quickly, because you never know, Serena may be coming up for a personal 'nighty- night.'"

Kevin reaches for Lucy, and they are about to start kissing. Until.....

INTERRUPTION #5: We hear loud banging on the door.

L: "Oh, boy, that isn't Serena."

K: "Not unless she's on steroids."

L: "Who is it?"

(Scott's voice is heard out in the hall.)

S: "Lucy, Kevin, I've got to talk to you. It's important."

(Lucy grabs their bathrobes and tosses one at Kevin.)

L: (to Kevin) "Here, here, put it on, put it on." (Unfortunately, the robe Lucy threw at Kevin was her short, cream-colored robe with the large pinkish flowers. She fails to notice this detail. Kevin tries to alert her.)

K: "Lucy?"

(Lucy is too busy running to the door to look at Kevin.)

L: "No, he said it was important - he said it was important."

(As Lucy heads for the door, she wraps herself in a maroon robe that's too big for her - it's Kevin's.)

L: "Scott, I'm trying. Just hold on one teeny tiny minute."

(She opens the door. Scott strides in, so intent on telling his story that at first he doesn't notice Kevin and Lucy's disheveled state.)

S: "Lucy, you're never going to believe what Jake was trying to - "

Scott looks at Lucy, wrapped in the too-large robe. Then he sees Kevin, who gives Scott a big toothy grin as he ties the belt of Lucy's short flowered robe around his waist. The picture becomes all too clear to Scott.

S: "Oh. Oh. I'm sorry. I'm interrupting here."

K: (dripping with sarcasm) "No, Scott, whatever makes you say that?"

L: "No, no, no, don't mind him. What? What did Jake say? What was it? What?"

(Scott is terribly embarrassed; he just wants to get out of the room as quickly as possible.)

S: "Well, in the end it wasn't really that - I'll see you guys in the morning."

L: "What?"

K: "Not if I can help it."

S: "I'm sorry."

Scott leaves. Lucy turns back to Kevin, baffled by Scott's abrupt departure. She apparently hasn't truly noticed Kevin's appearance yet.

K: "So, what do you think gave it away?"

(Lucy notices Kevin's attire and flinches.)

L: "Oh. So, tell me, Doc, do you think we're going to even have a teeny, tiny glimmer of hope of making love tonight at all?"

K: "I have an idea."

That gleam in his eye suggests it's *quite* an idea. Sure enough - we cut to Kevin, carrying Lucy in his arms and kissing her as they enter the Honeymoon Suite at the Port Charles Hotel.

L: "We made it!"

K: "Safe at last!"

L: "No, not until you close that door and lock it."

(Kevin instantly sets Lucy down.)

K: "Excuse me while I lock the door."

L: "Okay. Oh - the phone. Okay - I'm going to take the phone off the hook."

K: "I'll get the drapes."

L: "Deal. Okay. Cell phones off?"

K: "Check."

L: "Beepers off?"

K: "Check." L: "Oh, good. Ooh, ooh - bed, just fine."

K: "And I'm sure the bathroom is vacant."

L: "Alone at last."

K: "So close yet so far. Come over here."

Kevin draws Lucy towards him and is just about to kiss her when she suddenly backs up. Kevin's frustration at yet another delay has a desperate tinge to it; clearly if these interruptions keep up, Lucy is - to borrow from Kevin/Lucy history - going to have another Chernobyl on her hands.

L: "Wait, wait, one more thing. Okay." (She removes her trench coat to reveal a very short, sexy black nightgown.) "Surprise." (To say that Kevin's gaze is appreciative would be an immense understatement.)

K: "No matter how many times I look at you, you always, always take my breath away."

Kevin and Lucy embrace and kiss, relieved to be alone and away from interruptions at last. Until.....

INTERRUPTION #6: There is a knock at the door.

L: "Oh oh."

Kevin can't take it anymore. He throws his head back and lets out a loud, lengthy, scream of frustration. Lucy can't help but laugh, and it's no wonder.

L: "No, no, no, don't, Doc, you can't do that, because they'll call the police and I'll have to get rid of *them*. But I'll get rid of whoever it is. Don't move. Patience. I'll get it. Who is it? Who is it?"

(Lucy puts on Kevin's jacket over her nightgown. We hear a hotel employee - let's call him Bob - answer Lucy's question:)

Bob: "Room service."

K: (furious) "We didn't ORDER ANYTHING!"

Bob: "Compliments of the hotel, sir."

(Lucy hesitates for a moment. She's probably afraid that Kevin, in his current agitated state, will rip the poor guy's head off.) L: "Ah, oh, come in."

(Lucy opens the door, and Bob wheels in a cart.)

Bob: "Champagne, fruit basket.... shall I open up the bottle?"

K: "Thanks. I can handle it. Tip. Door. Good night."

L: "Ta."

(Bob leaves. Lucy giggles.)

K: "Care for champagne?"

L: "No." (She draws Kevin close to her) "I have everything I need right here."

(Kiss.)

K: "Right answer."

They kiss again, and Lucy breaks away, running towards the bed while pulling off Kevin's jacket. He hops along after her, pulling off his shoes as he goes. Lucy sinks down to the bed; Kevin follows her down, struggling to pull his shirt off over his head. It probably would have been easier if he had unbuttoned his cuffs first, and we fade out as he tries to pull his hands through the buttoned cuffs while a laughing Lucy tries to help.

We rejoin them the following morning. They are sitting up in bed, amid gold satin sheets, cuddled together. Kevin seems much calmer now; I can't imagine why.....

L: "Mmmm, this is heaven."

K: "Dare we ring for coffee?"

L: "No way. We dare not. I don't want any outside intrusions. I have everything I need right here."

(Lucy strokes Kevin's chest and lays her head on his shoulder.)

K: "I'm still amazed that I can even be happy. But, wouldn't you know, all I needed was you."

L: "But we're like the same coin, broken in half. And the pieces - ooh, they fit together awfully nicely."

K: "Boy, do they fit!"

(They snuggle together, Lucy's back against Kevin's chest)

L: "Don't you think this reality here is better than any old dream?"

K: "You are too good to be true, you know."

L: "You could pinch me, you know, just in case you need to to make sure that I'm here, if you want."

K: "Okay."

(Evidently he did, because Lucy jumps and giggles, and Kevin smiles a lovely dimpled grin at her reaction.)

L: "You could probably, if you feel the need to do it again, it's okay with me."

K: "Oh, I wouldn't want to spoil it...... but okay."

(Another pinch, and now they're both laughing. Lucy turns towards Kevin.)

L: "Okay, turnabout is fair play."

(Kevin forestalls a pinch-fest by kissing Lucy several times.) L: "This is great, absolutely fantastically great."

K: "It's only going to get better, you know."

L: "I know. You don't suppose that, you know, after some time has gone by -"

K: "Yeeeeees."

(Based on the way he says the above, he was expecting a very different suggestion from the one that follows.)

L: "You don't suppose that maybe we might try to get pregnant again, huh?"

K: "Absolutely. I couldn't think of any other way, or a better way, to prove how much I trust you or our life, by creating another life together."

(Lucy is pleased and touched, but then she turns away, suddenly sad. Kevin notices.)

K: "What's the matter?"

L: "I'm just scared. You know, all those miscarriages - I'm just scared."

K: "Lucy, you also carried Serena to term, and look how well she turned out."

L: "I know. I did. It's just, I want to go see a doctor, maybe, and find out what's wrong with me."

K: "IF something's wrong with you. But all right, we'll go see a specialist. In the interim, you know, this doctor makes house calls."

L: "Thank goodness."

K: (whispered) "Come here."

(Kisses.)

L: "I love you."

K: (barely audible) "I love you."

(More kisses.)

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