Kevin, Lucy, Capucchino, & Jogging


Our scene opens at the Lighthouse, the morning after Damian proposed the bet extension to Lucy.  Kevin (who looks delectably tousled - unshaven, barefoot, and wearing a pale blue bathrobe), looks out the window, shaking his head.  He heads for the door, opens it, and calls out:

K: "Morning, Lucy."

(We don't see Lucy yet, but hear her voice in the distance)

L: "Well, Kevin, hi.  Come on out and play - come run with me. C'mon."

K: "No, why don't you come on in."

(Lucy jogs up to the door and continues to jog in place.  She is    wearing a pink spandex midriff top and bike shorts, with black    athletic shorts over the bike shorts)

L: "Hi.  Whew, it's really hot out here.  Um, this is interesting.     I was just jogging by, and you happen to be up.  What a    coincidence."

K: "Please don't do that.  It upsets my equilibrium."

L: (stopping the jogging in place)  "Oh, pardon me."

K: "Thank you.  And you didn't just *happen* to be jogging by.  I first noticed you about fifteen minutes ago.  I came down the stairs to make myself some capuccino, I looked out the window, and - there's Lucy!  Out for her morning run, I guess.  So I went into the kitchen, made my capuccino - that took about ten minutes. I came back out here, got my paper, and, what do you know?  There you were again, running in the other direction.  Hmmm.  Quick run, I thought.  So I sat down at the table to read my paper and enjoy my capuccino, and that's when it hit me.  So I came back out here and, there you are.  Back and forth, jog in place.  Back and forth, jog in place.  Back and forth, jog in - Lucy, why do you make' things so complicated?  Why don't you just come and... ring my bell?"

L: "Ha!  No way, not on your life, buster.  I'm not going to risk another one of your lectures about, 'Well, you really should call first,' especially as, the only reason you blame me is because I happen to have a spontaneous bone in my body."

K: "Mmmm, and a fine body it is, too."

L: (giggling) "So, is that the capuccino that you just mentioned?" (She brushes past Kevin to enter the room; he rolls his eyes at her presumption.)

K: "It is."

L: "Well, I take mine iced, you know, preferably blended, with maybe just a sprinkle of cinnamon on top."

K: "Absolutely not.  You have your morning rituals; I have mine, one of which happens to be capuccino.  Now, you're welcome to join me, but if you do you're going to take it strong and hot, the only way a self-respecting capuccino should be."

L: "Oh, boy, he has rules on coffee too."

K: "It's my way or the highway, Lucy."

L: "What else is new?"

(Later, Lucy tastes her cup of capuccino.)

L: "Mmmm.  Ooh, this is divine."

K: "You see, it's the only way.  Blended and iced - you may as well order a milkshake."

L: "All right, how do you do it?  Because this is no ordinary, run-of-the-mill, everyday capuccino."

K: "What can I say?  I'm not your everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill kind of guy."

L: "If you say so yourself?  C'mon, tell me.  Every time I try to make this stuff, it sort of gets all runny and soupy and weak and yucky.  How do you do it?  What's your secret?"

  K: "My high-pressure jet."

(Lucy is caught off-guard by Kevin's innuendo-laden delivery of that  line.  Somehow, it brings to mind something..... else.... :-)

L: "What?"

(Kevin moves closer to Lucy.)

K: "High pressure.  It's how you get the milk to the proper consistency.  The secret's in the steam - it has to be incredibly...... hot."

L: "Oh.  Well..... it works for me."

(Kevin breaks the sexual tension by asking a practical question.)

K: "So, tell me Lucy, what's new and exciting in that remarkably    eventful thing you call a life?"

L: "New and exciting?  Gee, I can't really think of a thing."

K: "Oh, come on.  Stretch your brain a little bit - I'm sure something will pop out at you."

L: "Oh, I don't know what makes you think I have anything new and exciting going on."

K: "Maybe I'm psychic.  Maybe it's your body language.  Are you aware that you get skittish whenever Damian's been at you and you don't want me to find out?  Well, not that you don't wear skittish well - on you it rather reminds me of a thoroughbred.  But I digress.  Maybe the only reason I think you're trying to hide something from me is because I happened to see you and Damian with your heads together at the Grill yesterday?  Now, call me paranoid, but alarm bells started to clang.  You can jump in anytime."

L: "Oh, brother."

K: "Out with it, Lucy.  You'll feel all better."

L: (murmuring into her coffee cup:)  "Damian wanted an extension on the bet."

K: "I didn't get that?"

L: "I said, Damian wanted to extend the bet."

K: "Lucy, tell me my ears are playing tricks on me."

L: "It wasn't *my* idea."

K: "Damian actually suggested extending the bet."

L: "Yeah, the nerve of that guy; don't you find it appalling?"

K: "Well, how did he react when you told him no."

(Silence.)

K: "Lucy..."

L: "Okay, okay, Kevin, before you go nuts on me here - "

K: "You are unbelievable!  Do you have a learning disability?"

L: "Could you just try to stay calm?  Please, just try to stay calm -"

K: "In case you have forgotten what has happened in these    interminable months, I'd be happy to take a moment and refresh your memory.  On New Year's Eve, you got bored and started making wagers on other people's lives with a man who is as much a sociopath as my brother.  Eight months later, it's still impossible to walk through the streets of this town and not trip all over the emotional debris.  And now you tell me that you would actually flirt with the idea of doing it all again?"

L: "Would you just calm down and let me explain, please?"

K: "Please, I would love to hear this.  You have the floor, please explain."

L: "Well, sheez, you are a candidate for high blood pressure, aren't you?  I didn't agree!"

K: "Did you refuse, Lucy?  That's what I'm trying to get to."

L: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course I did."

K: "Did you mean it?"

L: "Well, I did at the time."

K: "Oh, no."

L: "Well, see, it's just, I'm curious, that's all, I mean, I'm curious.  There's this whole other spin, see, he's put on the ' bet.  He wants to pick a guy that he thinks I can't seduce.

K: "Oh, well.  Phew!  I know I'm relieved.  That's *much* better. So who's he siccing you on, poor defenseless Steve Hardy?"

L: "I don't know, you know, that's what interesting me; I can't quite figure - STEVE HARDY?  Bite your tongue!  I mean, he's been married eons to Audrey; he'd never cheat, not even with me.  Of course, there always is Edward Quartermaine - no, he's been known to wander.  I don't think he'd go that far, Damian just wouldn't.  Well, I guess you're out of the question.

K: "That may be truer than you think."

L: "What is that supposed to mean?"

K: "I can't deal with you, Lucy, I certainly don't like your friends,    and to be honest, I don't like you very much whenever you let    Damian lead you by the nose."

L: "He does not."

K: "Then what would you call it?  Can't you see what's happening here?  Proposing to extend this damnable bet is just Damian's way to try and keep your attention.  And as much as I hate to admit it, I must give credit where credit is due, he knows what works."

L: "That is not true."

K: "And as if that weren't bad enough, you try to turn it around and do the same thing, only, Lucy, this time I get to be the sucker."

L: "Oh, brother, here we go.  This is it, isn't it?  Somehow, we manage to start talking about you.  How does it always happen that way when this has absolutely nothing to do with you?"

K: "It keeps my attention, doesn't it?  Well, you can just get yourself another dolt, Lucy.  This entire scenario is so unhealthy it borders on madness.  And I've had enough of that in my life, thank you very much!  Now if you've come here expecting me to help you justify prolonging this insanity, well then you can jog on out the door and just keep going the other way."

L: "My goodness, you're really not a morning person, are you?"

L: "Kevin, you know, you really shouldn't get so annoyed with me.  I don't know - I might begin to take it personally.  And besides, I don't think it's good for your health.  I mean, look at you - you're all flushed, and your eyes - your eyes have this sort of wild look, and I can't imagine what's going on with your blood pressure.  I mean, you're expending all this energy, and for what? For absolutely nothing, because I am reasonably sure I am just going to tell Damian where he can stick that stupid bet of his."

K: "Define 'reasonable'."

L: "I'm thinking about it."

K: "This is a disaster waiting to happen, again."

L: "Why can't you just have a little faith in me?"

K: "Give me one good reason why."

L: "Okay.  All right.  I may be many things, but I am not gullible, and so you can stop worrying about me.  No, I mean I would really rather you not stop worrying about me.  Actually, I kind of like that you're concerned about my emotional welfare."

K: "Oh, you can take care of yourself.  It's the hapless citizens of this town that own my concern today."

L: "Well, you could just think about them as potential new clients."

K: "Patients, Lucy, not clients, patients. And do me a favor, will you please?  Don't hold yourself up as a reference.  I'm mortified you ever took one step into my office.  I usually don't fail this miserably."

L: "Is that what I am to you, Doc, a reminder of your shortcomings?"

K: "You're also exasperating, maddening even."

L: "You are such a sweet talker."

K: "Yes, well, you're so damn sexy, I guess it all balances out."

L: "Lucky us."

K: "Indeed."

(Lucy looks into Kevin's eyes; she strokes his chin and cheek.)

K: "What are you looking for, Lucy?"

L: "I don't know.  Maybe a clue."

K: "Perhaps I can help you with that."

L: "I really want to know what goes on behind those eyes of yours."

K: "That's a subject you probably should steer away from.  You might not like what you see."

L: "How will I know unless you show me?"

K: "What, and spoil all the mystery?  You'd be bored to death.  You'd be out the door in no time flat."

(He really believes this, despite the joking tone he tries to take.)

L: "All right.  You know what I think?"

K: "What?"

L: "I think that you truly need another outlet besides yelling at me for all that impressive energy I just mentioned."

K: "I can think of one or two things right off the top of my head."

(They are standing very close together now.)

L: "You, Professor, have a dirty mind."

K: "You don't know the half of it, Lucy."

L: "Do you want to hear what I'm proposing, or don't you?"

K: "Will it hurt?"

L: "Maybe later, but it'll be worth it in the long run.  Run with me."

K: "Actually, I was going to paint."

L: "Mmm.  Any excuse, huh?"

K: "I'm sorry?"

L: "You are afraid."

K: "Of?"

L: "Oh, of the fact you probably haven't hit the jogging paths regularly, and you're afraid I can beat the pants off you in a sprint."

K: "Lucy, if you want my pants off, all you have to do is ask."

L: "Ooh, there you go, see, you're trying to salvage your precious male ego, because you're so worried about being humiliated by a woman beating you."

K: "Oh, this is starting to sound suspiciously like a dare."

L: "Are you man enough to take it?"

K: "I can take anything you dish out."

L: "Don't be so sure."

K: "Get yourself ready, Lucy.  You're about to eat my dust."

Kevin heads upstairs to change; Lucy sinks into a chair, looking extremely pleased with herself. 

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