Kevin,Lucy and Lapis Linguae

This episode contains Failed Lovemaking Attempt #2.


Lucy knocks (wow!) and enters Kevin's office, smiling sheepishly.  He is packing up his briefcase.

L: "Hi.  Remember me?"

K: "I think so.  Aren't you the woman who stormed out of here earlier, threatening to never pass out my business cards again?"

L: "Yup, that'd be me, but I've had a change of heart and your secretary did say you've seen your last patient of the day."

K: "Oh, don't tell me she was mistaken."

L: "Well, no.  Well, you keep pointing out that I'm not one of your patients, which is a very good thing, because if I was, and I was paying you all this big money, I'd be bound to take your advice. But in this case I don't have to, because you were wrong, wrong, wrong!"

K: "Oh!  About what?"

L: "Be prepared to congratulate me."

K: "Lucy, what have you gotten yourself into now?"

(During the commercial break she must have told him.  When we return, she's finishing up the tale of Damian's demise.  We'll skip over that part and join Lucy in mid-babble:)

L: "And, oh, Doctor, might I add that I did come out of this whole thing without a scratch.  And, in fact, I have a new little pal."

K: "Mmm.  Luke Spencer."

L: "Why do you do that?  Why do you always screw your face up like that whenever you mention his name?"

K: "I have a newfound respect for the man.  He tangled with you and lived to tell the tale.  And he stayed faithful to his distant wife.  Didn't he?"

L: "You couldn't stop yourself.  You had to ask, didn't you?"

K: "It wasn't a question - it was more of a hopeful statement."

L: "Oh, really?  Interesting."

K: "Lucy, playing at seduction can be dangerous."

L: "Doctor, I never play at seduction.  It's always the real thing."

K: "Is that so?"

(Lucy traces the 'frown lines' on his forehead with one hand.)

L: "Oh oh, there you go again.  You know, you're frowning like that, and you're getting these little lines right here in your forehead, and if you keep doing that I'm afraid they'll be permanent."

K: "Well, if I continue this conversation that's a foregone conclusion."

L: "Oh, cheer up.  Everything with Luke and me - well, it's all hunky dorey.  In fact, he even invited me to a party tonight.  Would you like to come?"

K: "As your chaperone?"

L: "Ewwww.  You probably were a real party pooper, I bet.  No necking on the dance floor, no spiking the punch.  I'm glad you weren't at my high school prom."

K: "Well, now that you've succeeded in making me feel decrepit, old, and boring, I think I'll pass on this party."

L: "No, no, no, no!  You have to come.  It's for Ruby's birthday, it's a surprise, and all her friends will be there."

K: "Since when is Ruby a friend of mine?  She still thinks I'm Ryan."

L: "Oh, that doesn't matter.  You have to come because, well, because it's my destiny.  You see, I read in my horoscope for this month that I am going to get my heart's desire.   And I got Deception back, I got Damian back, and I got Katherine back, and now all that's left is to work on you.  So, come on."

(Lucy grabs Kevin by the tie and pulls him towards the door.)

K: "That gives me a cold grue.  Do I end up with a broken back, or in a coma like Ms. Bell?"

L: "What coma?"

We see them later on their way to the elevators.  Lucy grills Kevin about Katherine's situation, but he refuses to satisfy her curiosity.  They bump into Felicia.  Lucy tries to drag Kevin away to no avail, so then she asks Felicia about Katherine, and they gossip a bit (while Kevin rolls his eyes).  Finally, Lucy literally pulls Kevin into the elevator.  It turns out that Kevin didn't have anything to worry about, because Ruby greets him warmly.  Lucy doesn't fare so well; Ruby treats her with thinly-veiled contempt.

Later, after the party, they arrive at the lighthouse.

L: "Explain something to me again, Doc.  Why is it that a hugely successful dose of double revenge makes you feel all warm and snuggly inside?"

K: "It's the realization of a goal.  We have a physical res--"

L: "No, it's not really warm and snuggly.  Well, it kind of is, but it's also like an energization.  I feel sort of reborn.  You know, like all the dark thoughts have been washed away, and I almost have this whole inner peace kind of thing going on.  It's like I have so many brand new empty spaces that are just waiting to be filled up."

K: (mischievously) "You know, I think I could help with that."

L: "I am so good when I'm bad.  Of course, I knew that already.  No one is better at payback than Lucy Coe.  But this whole thing went beyond my wildest expectations.  I have to admit, I did picture some pretty horrific scenarios for that Gruesome Twosome, but to have both of them laid out flat on their backs is just too much!  Of course, I didn't mean them physical harm; of course I don't mind it -"

(Kevin has been watching Lucy, a bemused expression on his face. Finally he takes action.  When Lucy turns to face him, he grabs her face in his hands and kisses her, effectively cutting off her babble.  He releases her, a satisfied little smile on his face.)

L: "Well, that was rude, sort of.  I mean, you interrupted me right in the middle of a major thought process."

K: "Mmm hmm.  All your thoughts are headed in the wrong direction, Lucy.  You see, I've had enough of Damian - and Katherine, for that matter - probably enough to last the rest of my life."

L: "Right.  You have been incredibly patient."

K: "No, infinitely patient."

L: "Right, but couldn't you just be big enough to allow me this one teeny, tiny moment of victory?"

(Kevin smooths Lucy's hair away from the side of her face.)

K: "Sure.  But you've already had it, and now it's time to move on.  So now that all the games with Luke and Damian are all over with, you're going to concentrate on us."

(Kevin moves in closer.)

L: "Us?"

K: "Us.  As in you and me here, together, now."

(Kevin starts nuzzling Lucy's neck.)

L: "Why, Doctor Collins, if I didn't know better, I would say you'd better be careful, because you are trying to seduce me."

(Kevin looks up at Lucy with a lazy, seductive smile.)

K: "Is it working?"

From the look on Lucy's face as Kevin returns to kissing her neck, it is working very well indeed.  When we return to them, they are standing together, kissing - no, let's call that devouring each other - while yanking each other's clothes off, and they are moving in the general direction of the couch.  (Most Kevin/Lucy love scenes include strong elements of sensuality and romance; this one is unusual because raw passion takes precedence.)  Kevin seems almost desperate; Lucy maintains a tiny bit of control for long enough to ask:

L: "Kevin?"

K: "Mmm hmm?"

L: "Kevin?"

K: "Mmm?!!?"

L: "Kevin?  We're really - we're moving into very dangerous territory here."

(Lucy gasps this remark a couple of words at a time between kisses. As she finishes, they arrive at the couch.  Lucy sinks into a reclining position.)

K: "I noticed."

(Kevin joins Lucy on the couch, lying on top of her, and the kissing continues until Lucy breaks away to ask breathlessly:)

L: "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait -"

K: "What?"

L: "Are you sure?"

K: "I'm sure."

(They return to kissing.  Lucy gets carried away.)

L: "Oh, oh, oh, Damian!"

(Oops.  Any hope that Kevin didn't notice vanishes immediately.)

K: "Oh, DAMIAN?"

L: "Oh, no, oh dear!"

(When we return to them, Lucy is trying to defend herself.)

L: "Why are you so angry?"

K: "Angry?  How can you fix your mouth to even form those words?  You just called me Damian!  I am Kevin, *not* Damian!"

L: "It was a - it was a - "

K: "It was a what?"

L: "A mistake - habit, perhaps."

(Oops.)

K: "A habit!  Now that's interesting.  You see, I wasn't aware that your relationship with Damian had progressed to the point where your passion inspires name-calling."

L: "Oh, yuck!  It hasn't, it hasn't - the very thought of it just makes my skin crawl.  It's just because he's been on my mind lately.  I mean, think about it, he's been on my mind for almost a whole year, and just recently the whole thing climaxed."

(Oops.  Kevin just looks at her.)

L: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, again, that was a horrible choice of words."

K: "Would you like to hear what I don't appreciate?"

L: "Do I have to?"

K: "I don't appreciate being used.  I don't appreciate being a stand-in for Damian.  I don't appreciate you thinking of another man while you're kissing me.  And I really don't appreciate your sorry, flimsy excuses!"

(It's back to that whole insecurity thing again.  It's so easy for Kevin to believe that Lucy is just using him, because he finds it impossible to believe that a woman like her could actually have feelings for someone like him.)

L: "Can I have a turn here?  You know what, you know what I don't appreciate is your judgmental tone of voice!  You never make mistakes, is that it?  You are so perfect that you've never had just a simple slip of the tongue?"

K: "Lucy, how would you like it if you were crawling all over me and I called you 'Felicia'?"

(He shoots, he scores!  Lucy's anger melts away and is replace by remorse.)

L: "I would hate it.  I am sorry, Kevin."

K: "So am I."

Kevin walks towards the door, counting to ten under his breath in an attempt to calm himself.  Not an unusual strategy, but because he's Kevin, he counts in French.  He opens the door and steps outside.

L: "Kevin?  Oh, boy."

(She hurries across the room to join him by the open door.  He stands, his back to her, arms folded across his chest.  His body language says it all.)

L: "I just made a horrible mistake.  I don't know why I said what I said.  That disgusting word just came out of my mouth.  It's probably because Damian, he's just been on my mind, you know, because of the bet and the seduction and all that, he's just been there for so very long."

K: "Don't you see?  That's exactly the problem.  How can I possibly fit in there if he's taking up all the room?"

(Sniff - he sounds so hurt and anguished....)

L: "But he's not - not anymore."

K: "Lucy, what happened tonight tells me otherwise."

L: "Please don't hold this against me.  I never, ever would want to hurt you."

K: "I think you should go, Lucy."

L: "Oh, Kevin, no."

K: "Please, just go, Lucy.  Go visit Damian."

Kevin turns his back on Lucy.  She goes back into the living room, collects her things, and leaves.  Kevin doesn't acknowledge her departure, his eyes downcast.  Outside the door, Lucy stops and makes herself a heartfelt promise:

L: "That is it.  That is the last time you ruin something for me, Damian!"

Lucy then makes the strategic error of visiting Damian in the hospital and telling him that she helped Luke to bring him down, thus ensuring that Damian would seek revenge some day (which he did when he hired Joe Scully to sabotage Deception about four months later).

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