The Question

Kevin and Lucy enter the Outback and head towards the bar, where Mac and Ned already stand...

Lucy: Hey, look at this, I get to feast my eyes upon three of the most desirable men in Port Charles.

Mac: For all the good it does the rest of us.

Kevin: Oh, Lucy is quite spoken for, make no mistake about that.

Ned: Lucy, whatever it is you're doing, it works, because I don't think I've ever seen you as captivating.

(Hmmm... was Dr. Kevin beaming with manly pride, or was he looking a bit "green?")

Lucy: Well, thank you, Ned, but stop, you're embarrassing me.

(Yep, it was the green-eyed monster, I think. Kevin doesn't seem too sure about this Lucy-Ned thing, so he pulls out the big guns...)

Kevin: Mac, where's Felicia tonight?

(Lucy's dread at the mention of one of the three forbidden names is obvious.)

Lucy: Felicia?

Kevin: Oh, didn't I tell you? She's back in town.

Lucy: No, you didn't happen to mention that to me.

Kevin: Oh... I'm sorry.

Lucy: When?

Mac: Yesterday.

Kevin: I was hoping to see her tonight.

Mac: I sent her home.

Kevin: Oh, fighting so soon?

Mac: Twenty minutes she's back in town and already she's got her nose stuck where it doesn't belong.

Lucy: Oh, you know, gentlemen, I'm suddenly parched. I would love a big glass of Chardonnay...

(Oh-oh, Lucy hears that sucking sound...)

Ned: Hey, when is her baby due?

Mac: Any minute, I mean she's about as pregnant as it gets.

Lucy: Do you know, when I was pregnant, I got so big...

Ned: She's not alone, is she?

Mac: No, she's with Mariah.

Ned: Oh, you know what? Will you excuse me? I want to make a phone call and see what's keeping Lois.

Mac:(handing Ned his cell phone) Oh here, use this.

Ned: Oh, thank you.

(Ned takes the phone and walks off.)

Mac: Sure. Listen, she's probably going to want to tell you this herself, so you didn't hear it from me... She got a letter from Frisco, he's coming home again.

Kevin: You're kidding. For good?

Mac: Well, he mentioned something about he wanted to be here for the birth of his child.

Lucy: Ahem... ahem... ahem... ahem... Remember me? You know, the person who is so starving, that if you don't feed me immediately, I'm going to do something horrible.

Kevin: I think that was a hint.

(Mac leads Kevin and Lucy to a table.)

Mac: And subtle, too. Right here I believe is a perfect table for you.

Lucy: Thank you so much, Mac.

Kevin: Thank you, Mac.

Mac: Enjoy.

(Mac leaves. And Kevin studies the menu, as Lucy glares at him. Kevin plows on ahead...)

K: "Well, I wonder what the specials are tonight? What do you think, Lucy? A bottle of wine? Champagne, perhaps? In case you hadn't noticed, I'm trying my best to ignore this snit you seem to be in the middle of."

L: "I assure you, doctor, ignoring it will not make it go away."

K: "All right, what's the problem?"

L: "In a word... Felicia."

K: "Well, that didn't take long, did it?"

L: "Excuse me? I think that's my line. You know, time sure flies when you're having fun. It seems like only yesterday, Felicia was right in this very room, sucking all the attention right to herself. And, poof, she's back. And you and Mac just can't stop yourselves, can you?"

K: "Oh, for heaven's sake, Lucy, all I did was ask about a friend."

L: "Right, a friend who would be happy to tell you all about herself 24 hours a day ad nauseam. You know, I can see it now, we'll be sitting in front of a fire, all cuddly and curled up nice and warm, with our champagne and our caviar, getting ready to indulge both of our mutual passions, and the phone will ring and then, like an ugly little crayon mark across a beautiful work of art, this voice, annoying and shrill, will come out of the answering machine: `Kevin, I need you, I can't remember how to tie my shoe.' And guess who's going to get dumped on her bum while you move heaven and earth to go run and help her."

(I give Kevin credit here, he realized how hurt Lucy really was.)

K: "I'm dumbfounded. Lucy, where did this sudden burst of insecurity come from?"

L: "Try experience."

K: "Lucy, pay attention to me. Felicia and I are friends. You and I are friends and lovers. There's no comparison."

L: "Do you really, truly, truly, truly mean that?"

K: "You underestimate the feelings I have for you... which is probably my fault. Admittedly, this emotion over intellect thing is new to me, so it's entirely possible that I haven't made myself clear."

L: "Oh-oh, do I detect another one of your declarations coming out?"

K: "You know me so well."

L: "Well, doc, you better be careful. You know, last time this urge overtook you, you did tell me you loved me."

K: "I did, didn't I? And I do. Which brings me to what I have to ask you."

(When we next see Kevin and Lucy, which is several interminable acts later, Mac seems to have intruded on the question and Kevin, who is sipping champagne, asks...)

Kevin: So, Mac, what do you want from me?

Mac: A little advice and moral support, is that too much to ask?

Kevin: Are you actually going to take my advice or will I be wasting my breath?

Mac: I'll do my best.

Kevin: All right, things to remember when you see Robin: Number one, accept the things you can't change, be tolerant of her feelings, whether you think them appropriate or not. Number two, and most important, remember, you love her, therefore manacles and homicide are not options to consider.

Lucy: I wish someone would please tell me what the big deal is, so Robin is in love. You know, it does happen to all of us, sooner or later.

Mac: Later, with someone more suitable would have been preferable.

Lucy: You can't plan how these things are going to happen.

Mac: Lucy, you're no help at all. I'm outta here.

Kevin: Good luck.

(Mac departs and Lucy wonders...)

L: "Geeze, you know, he really should lighten up."

K: "Frankly, I'd rather not dwell on Mac's situation right now, I have my own domestic crisis to think about."

L: "Aha... is this the part where we get back to what you were about to ask me?"

K: "Precisely. You know, the lighthouse is such a large place for one person to rattle around in, I was thinking, just considering, taking on a roommate."

L: "Oh... phhbbtt! That would be a disaster. You are far too set in your ways. Besides, you don't have any friends."

K: "Thank you. Well, how about you?"

L: "Me?"

(I think Lucy borrowed Ned's deer-in-the-headlights look...)

K: "Living together could have its advantages..."

L: "Yeah, but...

K: "Yes?"

L: "The idea petrifies me."

K: "Yeah, me, too. Not only am I terrified at the prospect of it, but I'm horrified that my own voice is actually uttering such an unprecedented suggestion."

L: "You're teasing me about this, aren't you?"

K: "No, afraid not."

L: "Oh, boy, oh boy. Do you really think we're ready for that step toward intimacy?"

K: "Well, there's only one way to find out."

L: "No... uh-uh-uh-uh-uh... Because you would discover things about me, boy, you don't want to know."

K: "Such as?"

L: "Well, my aversion to laundry. I don't do laundry. See? I have been known to go out and buy something new, just to avoid having to look at that pile in my room. And I have this grody sweatsuit, you know, this whole thing that's really gross with funny colors and sometimes I sit around in it all day. And, at least once a month, I turn on the TV and I sit myself down and I veg out, just staring at it. And I stuff my mouth so full with food, it doesn't look like it's humanly possible and then, to top it off, I usually get this huge, huge pimple, right on the side of my face. And, Kevin, I can't help myself, sometimes I have to pop it."

(Anyone else think Lucy has learned Kevin's honesty lesson a bit too well? ;-)

K: "Lucy, please..."

L: "Well, I'm just afraid that you won't ever want to make love to me ever again. And I don't cook."

K: "But you wouldn't have to, that's my department. You would have to lose the worm farm, though."

L: "You're really, really, really serious about this?"

K: "It bears consideration."

L: "You want to live with me?"

K: "Sure. I think. Yes, I definitely... think so..."

(They both look a little shell-shocked...)

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