Chapter 40


It was almost a week after Ryan's call, and Lucy was still finding herself in a panic when the phone rang or someone knocked on the door. And this time was no different. Approaching the door slowly, she tried to see out the window without moving the curtain. Kevin's car was in the driveway. He looked like he was about to give up when she finally opened the door.

"Did I disturb you?"

Shaking her head, she stepped back so he could come inside. The look she was giving him wasn't the warmest, but at least this time Kevin was sure she knew it was him.

Not sure where to start, he walked around the living room. "You've done a great job with this place."

"Thanks. I like it. And I'd like to think Brenda would have liked it, too."

"I'm sure she would have. I hadn't thought about her living here. Are you okay with that?"

Nodding, Lucy sat down. "I feel closer to her. I mean, she was trying to get her life together here. And she succeeded. If only her mother…." Lucy couldn't finish that thought and shook her head. "I feel like I'm in the same position she was. I mean, after Sonny left her at the altar, and she tried not to run back to Jax," It hit too close to home, so she stopped. "I just thought this house did so much for her, maybe it would help me, too."

Sitting in a chair, keeping a little distance between them, Kevin looked at her. "I'm not sure where to start. I was wondering if you've decided what you're going to do?"

"No. I've tried to not let it stress me out too much. It's not good for the baby. And, to be honest with you, the baby is all that matters. I have a few things to consider."

"Like?"

"Kevin, what do you want? Stop acting like you're just curious. You've got something on your mind, say it."

"I've been thinking about this almost constantly since you told me. And I keep coming back to the same answer. It's really the most logical thing to do. Yes, the baby is the most important thing here, but keeping Ryan from finding out is just as important."

Lucy put her hand up to stop him. "Kevin! What are you trying, and obviously not succeeding to tell me?"

"I think my name should be on your baby's birth certificate."

Stunned, Lucy stared at him.

"It makes sense. No one would doubt that we actually did-"

"Why do men keep saying that? Am I that bad, that everyone in Port Charles would believe I slept with anybody?"

Her tone sounded so offended, Kevin didn't know what to say. "Who else…?"

His expression was priceless. "You're the second man to make that offer. And telling me that everyone would believe I slept with either of you is not a way to butter me up for it, you know what I mean?" Finally she smiled. "Probably true, but not the most tactful way to say it, you know?"

"This other man, does he know what he's volunteering to step in the middle of?"

"That depends. Are you talking about me, or Ryan?" She didn't give him a chance to answer. She didn't know which he was talking about, and wasn't sure she wanted to know. "He's not in it to be a Daddy. He's offered me a name and a certain degree of protection from Ryan. As far as the baby goes, I'm on my own."

"So that's it? You're just going to raise this child without a father?"

His tone was so condescending that it made her furious. Staring him in the eyes, she snapped at him. "Father's are overrated. That much I know from experience."

Now Kevin was getting angry. "You told me what not knowing who your father was did to you. And that you would never raise a child that way. I'm not offering you a name. I'm offering to be the father of my brother's baby. To protect you and the baby from him. To be a Daddy. The whole thing."

"Why? Why would you want that? Because you feel guilty? Because you think it's your responsibility? It's not, Kevin. That's the beauty of this day and age. It's not like when I was a child. I can have my baby, I can raise my baby, and I don't NEED a father! So thank you for coming, but you're off the hook and you can go." By now she was almost screaming at him.

"What's in this for Scott, Lucy? Would he really make that much better a father than I would?"

She opened her mouth to yell at him, then stopped when she realized what he'd said. "SCOTT? What does he have to do with this?"

"It's not Scott?" Kevin's voice was quiet, obviously shocked.

"No. Scott wants nothing to do with any of it. He really doesn't want much to do with me, period, right now. I saw Serena for the first time last week since…" Tears came to her eyes and she stopped.

"He took Serena away from you again."

"I hurt him. And when Scott's hurt, he strikes back. I mean now he knows the whole story, but all that really matters to him is that I left him…. For you." She wiped her eyes. "He's better now than he was, he's going to let me see her. He needed time."

Once again, Kevin thought about everything she'd given up for him. Only to be hurt. The fact that she was still dealing with it told him she was nothing short of amazing. No wonder she wanted very little to do with him.

Before his imagination could run away again, Lucy looked at him. "The other man is Luke. He offered to put his name on the birth certificate. And to deal with Ryan if he ever came near me or the baby." She wasn't sure how to finish. "Kevin, he pretty much told me he would kill Ryan if he tried anything. I thought you should know."

Kevin thought about what she'd said for almost a full minute. "Good." Taking a deep breath, he continued. "I know the only way you and the baby will ever really be safe will be if Ryan is dead. The fact that he called you means that he's not going to just disappear. And, to be honest, I couldn't do it myself. Even after everything he's done, I still can't bring myself to wish him dead. It's probably good for you that someone can."

Lucy shrugged. "Right now, Ryan rates right up with the Cassadines and Frank Smith as far as Luke's concerned. And you know what happened to them. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have to protect yourself and your baby. So Luke offered you his name. What do you want?"

"I don't know. It's still so confusing. I mean, Luke is my friend, a good friend, but that's it. I don't want to tell this baby that his or her father didn't want them. But that would be better than the truth. This isn't something that will blow over. Whatever I decide will determine this child's whole entire life. And that kind of overwhelms me sometimes."

In that few seconds while she was speaking, Lucy went from looking like a very strong, determined woman to looking like a lost child herself.

Kevin moved to the sofa next to her. "Part of this is because I feel like I should do this. But that baby is my niece or nephew. They are part of my family. Victor is the grandfather, and I am the uncle. I want to be more. As the uncle, I can only watch for Ryan. As the father, I can stand between the baby and Ryan. You know that."

"And if Ryan finds out, he'll try to kill you."

"Exactly. Me. He'll blame me for taking his child. I believe I would be his first target if he found out. If I give the baby my name."

Lucy thought about what he was saying. It made sense. If Kevin had a death wish. Then something else occurred to her. "What does Eve think about this? She can't possibly be happy about it."

He looked away. "I haven't really discussed this with her."

"Haven't really discussed this. As in, she knows you're contemplating it, or she'll only know if I say yes?"

"As in I've made my decision. Whatever your decision is, I'll go from there."

Lucy stared at him for a long moment. "You, Mr. I can't live with you because you lie, is going to lie for the rest of his life?" His reaction told her she'd struck a nerve, but she didn't care. "I'm telling you, Kevin, this is forever. A few years down the road, if Ryan does get killed, I can't run the risk of you changing your mind and deciding that you can't live a lie."

"Does this mean you're at least contemplating the idea?"

"I'm contemplating every option right now."

"Lucy, what if the baby looks just like me? Or you find out you're going to have twins? You don't think people would suspect me anyway? The genetic bond would be there. You don't think I could love your baby?"

His choice of words startled her. ‘Your baby.' She wondered if he'd realized what he'd said. "Not just mine, Kevin. Ryan's. I know, you know that, but are you sure you could live with it? What about if you and Eve have a baby that is really yours? What happens then? You can't play Daddy until you're tired of it, or your situation changes."

"All I can say is I wouldn't do that to a baby. Or you. I can't make you believe me. I guess that's why Luke's offer sounds so nice. No risk. Outside the obvious. You don't have to trust Luke. He's not making any promises."

"You made me an offer. I'll think about it, okay? If you're sticking around to upset me, don't bother." Standing, she walked toward the kitchen.

Kevin looked at her. The change was very slight, but if you were looking, you could see she was pregnant. It hit him again that there was a baby inside of her, and how right it felt to be the father. Even if he wasn't.

"What does Dr. Newman say?"

Stopping, she looked at him. "Avoid stress. That's a laugh, huh." She shrugged. "Right now, everything's fine. Whoever invented the term morning sickness never met me. Morning, noon, and night is more like it. It should get better soon. As soon as I'm through the first trimester. I get my first sonogram next week. Probably still won't know if it's a boy or girl, but I don't care."

Putting her hands over the baby, she was absolutely glowing. Kevin smiled. "Can I come?"

Her smile faltered. "Why?"

"Because I care. If you want the company."

"Victor's coming." A look of hurt flashed across his face. "Maybe the next one. I need time to think about what you said. I'm not saying no. I'm just not sure what I want. You're a part of the baby's life. I'm not saying you're not. But being an uncle is a lot less hassle than being a daddy. Ryan not withstanding. But you have to realize that I'm part of this deal. You will have to deal with me, and that's not something I think you want to do. Or Eve will want you to do. I mean, are you going to agree to me having sole custody? I'm not going to fight you for my baby."

"You know, Lucy, trust is a two way street-"

"Don't you even go there with me! I don't want to spend the rest of my life hearing how you can't trust me. You're NOT going to use that to get to me! And don't think you can throw that at me every time I don't just follow your oh-so-wise advice the way you want me to!"

Kevin honestly had no idea where that outburst had come from. "I'm not throwing anything in your face! I'm just pointing out that you could change your mind as easily as I could. If I get attached to this baby, and I love him or her, and you find someone and decide to marry them, what happens to me?"

Forcing herself to calm down, she looked at him. "I need to think about it. So do you. Give me a little time."

"Not meaning anything by this but the literal meaning." He crossed the room to her and put his hand on her stomach. "You're going to run out of time very shortly. I can tell, it won't be long before everyone else can. I want this, Lucy. I want to give this baby everything it deserves."

"Parents who can't get along? A father who can't stand it's mother? Well, I guess that's half of America, so..." His hand on her, on the baby, felt so right, it terrified her.

"Stop. We can get along. It's just been so long since we've tried that we've forgotten how. And as much as we both try not to, we do care about each other. All I know is that this baby is important to me. And being the father feels right to me. Think about it."

Without another word, he left. Staring at the closed door behind him, Lucy whispered to herself. "The baby is important to you. Why can't I be?"

Suddenly she wondered if the emotional price for her was too high to consider his offer. Could she live with Kevin loving her baby and not her? Or was she being selfish? He would be a wonderful father. What he said suddenly occurred to her. ‘Would Scott really make that much better a father then him.' Maybe he really wanted this. Confused, tired, and slightly sick to her stomach, she went in search of a cracker before she went to lay down.

I still can remember
Last time I cried
I was holding you and loving you
Knowing it would end
I never felt so good, yet felt so bad
You're the one I love
And what makes it sad
Is you don't belong to me
I can still remember
Last time I lied
I was holding you and telling you
We could still be friends
Tried to let you go, but I can't you know
Cause even though I'm not with you
I need you so
But you don't belong to me.

Kevin was almost oblivious to the road in front of him. He had pictured Lucy having his child a million times since the first time she'd told him she was pregnant. That time it had been his child. Would it make that much of a difference that it was Ryan's? At that moment, he didn't think so. Except the fact that he'd have more to worry about as far as protecting the baby. And Lucy. She was a big part of this, too. He couldn't protect her from Ryan before. Now that he had to, he would make damn sure he could. He got the distinct impression that if Ryan found out, he wouldn't just lie to Lucy this time. He would kill her. And Kevin was not going to let that happen.

Coming in and out of your life
Isn't easy
I don't need to touch you
To feel you
It's real with you
I can't get you out of my mind
Coming in and out of your life
Will never free me
Cause there's so many nights
I can't hold you
And I told you
These feelings are so hard to fight

Standing in the kitchen, Lucy kept thinking about his hand on her. Putting her hand over the baby, she spoke to the small life inside her. "He would be the best Daddy I could ever want for you. I wish he really were."

I still can remember
Last time we tried
Each needing more then we could give
And knowing all the time
A stronger love just can't be found
Even though at times this crazy world
It turning upside down
You'll always belong to me

Eve was standing on the stairs in a sheer blue nightgown when Kevin walked through the door. Before he could say a word, she kissed him. Taking her hand, he followed her up the stairs. They still hadn't exchanged a word when Eve pulled him gently onto the bed with her. As Kevin made love to her, Lucy's words went through his head. "What if you and Eve have a baby that is really yours? What then?"

Eve didn't want children. As much as Kevin tried to convince her that she would be a good mother, she didn't want to hear the arguments. Maybe it was time to leave it alone. Being the father of Lucy's baby would be enough for him. At that moment, he realized that somehow, he would convince Lucy to allow him to raise the baby with her.

Coming in and out of your life
Isn't easy
I don't need to touch you
To feel you
It's so real with you
I can't get you out of my mind.
Coming in and out of your life
Will never free me
Cause there's so many nights
I can't hold you
And I told you
These feeling are so hard to fight
I still can remember…..

Song credit- "Coming In And Out Of Your Life"- Barbra Streisand

Chapter 41

Kevin opened the door to the lighthouse and could tell by the look on Eve's face something was wrong.

"This came for you by messenger." She handed a package to him.

The return address on it was Dr. Newman's. As he opened it, Eve stared at him. Inside was a video tape and a copy of the report from Lucy's appointment. With a small note enclosed telling him that Lucy had requested she send him a copy.

He didn't hear Eve the first time she spoke to him.

"Kevin!"

Looking up from the report, he finally answered her. "I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"What's going on? Why are you getting a report from an OB/GYN?"

Not really sure how to tell her, he sighed and sat at the table. "It's complicated."

"It's…" The shock was all over her face. "Oh, my god, it's Lucy's, isn't it."

He really didn't want to answer her.

"Kevin, she's pregnant?"

"Yes." He almost smiled. "And from the looks of this report, she's going to have twins."

"Why is she sending you a copy of the report? Twins?" Not wanting to think what she was thinking, she asked him. "The father is Ryan, right?"

Her tone told Kevin there was more to that question than the obvious. "What does that mean?"

"It means just what I said. She knows the father is Ryan, right?"

Kevin stared at her. "That sounded almost like an accusation. Are you asking me if there's a chance… You think I might be…?"

Feeling guilty, Eve looked away. But she still had to hear him say it. "I have a right to ask you."

"You have the right, but why would you suspect?" It was time to tell her everything. "Look, this is not going to turn into a fight between us. This is also not going to turn into a attack Lucy session for you. But there are a few things I need to tell you. Lucy is pregnant by Ryan. I resent you asking me if I was even a candidate. For obvious reasons, Ryan can never, and I mean this, Eve, NEVER find out he is the real father."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm not their father, but I'm going to…." This was ten times harder than he thought it would be. "If she is going to have twins, everyone would…. I…"

He stopped, not knowing how to continue.

"You're going to tell everyone they are yours, aren't you?"

"Yes." His voice was quiet.

"Why? Why would you do this? To save her reputation? That's a laugh. I-"

"This isn't about Lucy-"

"It will be. I know her. It will end up being about her. With Lucy, it always ends up being about her. She'll make sure of it." Eve was too furious and shocked to listen to him.

"No it's not! This isn't about her, me, or you. This is about those babies. And what Ryan would do if he found out they were his."

"And what do you think he'd do?"

"Take them. And kill Lucy if she tried to stop him."

"What about you? Would he kill you if you tried to stop him?"

"This was about me! That's the point you're missing. He went after Lucy because of me. He wants to get to me."

Eve thought she saw the point. And it sent her into a rage. "So you have to get there first, right? Is that really what this is all about? Is this some sort of sick game you're going to play with your brother? You're going to win, no matter what? Who gets Lucy and her babies?"

"This isn't a game, Eve. You have no idea what we're dealing with. Ryan is dangerous to anyone that he thinks is important to me!" That she thought that this was a competition between him and Ryan made him furious. "Lucy's going to have twins. That would be enough to convince anyone they were mine. Or if Ryan found out, he would be convinced they were his. I know at some point, he's going to find out she's pregnant. He's not going to leave her alone. So I have to convince everyone, including him, that they are mine."

"I bet Lucy's really unhappy to have you stand up and take responsibility for your brother's children."

Kevin couldn't miss the sarcasm in Eve's voice. "Actually, she's not really thrilled about the idea. She hadn't made up her mind the last time I spoke to her. I have a feeling that this is what may finally make her decide."



"Oh, right, Kevin. She probably wants you to talk her into it."

"Eve, you still don't get it. Ryan used her, lied to her, and hurt her so badly, that she can barely stand to look at me right now. All I do is remind her of what he did to her. I've only seen her a few times since this happened."

"She hates you so much, she's going to give you her babies? Come on, Kevin! You're not that stupid, even when it comes to her!"

"Why can't you understand what's going on? I'm going to say this one more time. This is not about Lucy. This is about protecting those babies from Ryan."

"At what expense, Kevin? Maybe you're willing to let everyone in Port Charles think you'd cheat on me, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I don't want everyone asking me why I would stay with you after you slept with Lucy, and publicly accept her children as yours."

That was one aspect of this that Kevin hadn't considered, and his reaction told her that. "Did how I would feel about this even cross your mind?"

"I thought you would understand that the baby's life was in danger, and that I had to do something. I did think it would be easy to convince everyone I did sleep with her. It didn't cross my mind what people would think of you for seeming to accept it. I'm sorry." She started to walk away, but he took her arms and looked at her. "I am sorry."

"But it doesn't change anything."

He stared at her for a moment. "No. We're adults. Rumors and gossip won't physically hurt us. But those babies would be physically hurt if the truth ever came out."

"What would you do if I told you I can't live that way?"

"This isn't a choice, Eve. Don't make it one. I love you. But I have to do this."

"I need to think about this, Kevin. Give me a chance. You've obviously been thinking about this for a while. I've got to tell you I don't like the thought of you raising a baby with her. This isn't something that will blow over, this is for the rest of our lives. This will tie you to her forever. And I don't know if I can live with that."

Before he could answer, she walked away.

Chapters 42-44       Main Fanfic Page