Chapter 51


Ryan made sure Kevin was still at the lighthouse before he went to Ferncliff. When he saw Eve leave, obviously angry, he smiled. Maybe Lucy would let him come and go from her bed as he pleased, but apparently Evie was not playing. He'd seen Kevin leave Lucy's an hour ago, and wanted to know what he intended to do with his day.

When Ryan went in to see Julie, he looked at her for a long moment.

His stare made Julie nervous. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I want to know...." Ryan stopped. He was suprising himself. "I want to know if you can feel the baby inside you."

"What?"

"There is a baby inside you. We've already established the pillow is fake, but the baby is real, remember? I want to know what it's like."

Julie had no idea where this was going. But she didn't want to play. "Kevin, do you want to tell me what this is about?"

"No. I don't. I asked you a fairly direct question. You're going to have a baby very soon, and I want to know what it feels like." The truth was that he didn't know what it was about. But he could get answers out of Julie. Stepping closer, he was rewarded by her stepping away from him, a look of almost fear crossing her face.

"What's the matter, Julie? Does it bother you that I may have your number? Maybe I know what you're up to, and I could stop you?"

"I'm not up to anything. I just want to know what you want from me."

"Maybe just some answers. If you answer me, maybe I'll leave."

There was nowhere to go. In the corner, she stared at him. "It feels.... like... there's a baby inside me."

Ryan was getting angry. "That's not an answer, Julie." Grabbing her arm, he leaned closer to her. "There's been a baby inside you for how many months? I want to know WHAT IT'S LIKE."

His voice took on a threatening tone, and Julie didn't like it. She began to feel real fear. But she still wouldn't let him see it. "I don't want to talk to you about it. This baby is mine. I don't have to share her with anyone!"

Her statement confused him. "Yours? Is that how you feel?"

"Of course that's how I feel. What's going on inside my body is no one's business but mine." Julie knew she had thrown him with that.

"What about the father?"

"What about him? You don't think he'd want to know everything about her? How she's growing, how her heartbeat sounds, how it feels? That's his baby, too. Who do you think you are shutting the father of the baby out? What if you're wrong, what if the father isn't who you think it is?" Ryan was no longer talking to Julie. Pacing around the room, he continued his monologue, ranting now. "All women lie! It's always possible! What if he's not the father? I want to know everything!"

Suddenly he realized where he was. Smiling, he looked at her. "Can you feel the baby move?"

Julie wanted to scream. Kevin was losing it, she was sure of that. She'd heard about his breakdown, but now she felt as if she were watching him have another one. Having this over his head seemed to have been a ridiculous idea now. Even the thought of making him help her get out wasn't worth what he looked like he was capable of doing.

"Kevin, can you tell me what's wrong?" She tried to keep her voice even and calm.

"No, I don't." His tone was sarcastic. "You're not learning anything in here, are you. You haven't figured anything out, you only think you have. And you are SO wrong! You think Kevin's losing it, don't you? Well, you better hope I don't lose it." Crossing the room, he put his face inches from hers. "When I lose it, people get hurt. Very badly."

Julie couldn't hide her fear any longer, and it made him smile. "Now you're getting the message. I hope you learned something here. Don't cross me. You have no idea what you're inviting if you do." Forcing himself to walk away from her, he pounded on the door. When the guard opened the door, he turned to her and smiled. "Take care of yourself. I'll come see you again"

Chapter 52

Eve still had an hour before she was on duty, but she couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Sitting on the sofa in the On Call Room, she wondered how much longer she would have the room to herself. As if in answer to her question, Chris opened the door and smiled.

"Long time, no see."

"I needed to do some thinking. And I wanted to at least try to be alone."

Sitting beside her, he shrugged. "Oh well. I'm here now. What's up in the world of Eve Lambert?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Gee.." Chris scratched his head in an exaggerated fashion. "Couldn't have anything to do with Lucy Coe being here last night, and a certain guy named Kevin Collins running to take care of her, would it?" Gently, he pushed her shoulder with his own.

Eve just stared at him.

"You know all about it, don't you." It wasn't a question.

"Chris, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Eve, what the hell is he doing? Why would he show up if…." Chris thought he'd figured it out. "Lucy's babies?"

"Lucy's and…" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Kevin's." Chris looked at her, shaking his head. "I can't believe this. What are you going to do?"

"He doesn't want to go back to her, if that's what you're thinking. He loves me, Chris."

"If he loves you so much, why did he-" The look on her face stopped him. "Eve, I can't believe you're just going to accept it. After he came running last night, it's only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out. Then what?"

"Then I deal with it. He's going to raise those babies with her, and I'm not going to tell him he can't."

"What about you? Where do you fit in?" His tone was quiet, knowing how much this was hurting her.

"I'm the one he loves, Chris. I know that."

Chris didn't know if she was trying to convince him or herself. But it didn't matter. She was hurting, and it was time for him to stop making it worse. "I know you love him, and whatever you decide to do, I still love you."

"I know." Forcing a smile, she squeezed his hand. "I'm on duty in less than an hour, you're going home, right?"

"Yes. You want me to come back and grab lunch with you later?"

"I don't know. Call me when you wake up." Standing, she went to her locker. "Thanks, Chris. I know you're only trying to help."

After he was gone, Eve sat back down on the sofa. Chris was right. Now that Kevin had run to Lucy last night, it was only a matter of time before everyone figured out that he was the father. After that, it was only an even shorter matter of time before everyone started staring at her and wondering. And a lot of them wouldn't be as nice as Chris.

Chapter 53

Kevin waited in the lobby for Eve to finish her shift. Things had become very strained between them in the last few weeks since the news of Lucy's pregnancy had become common knowledge at GH. He was trying to reassure Eve that he could make this work. So he'd made it a point to spend as much time with her as possible. He'd only seen Lucy when she had appointments with Dr. Newman, and he'd only spoken to her once a day on the phone.

Until now. Laughter that could only be Lucy's carried down the hallway. Between Victor and Mary, Lucy was hanging on to both of their arms. "I can't believe you came up with this," She tugged on Mary's arm. "And that you are going along with this." She kissed Victor's cheek.

"Nonsense. Who else would?" Victor squeezed her arm. "Besides, this is a fascinating experience for me."

"I have to admit, I'm a little confused. When they asked everyone to think of something they could carry with them to make them focus more, most women think of a stuffed animal, a pillow, a blanket." Mary laughed. "Victor said that your first thought for your focus for your Lamaze was a credit card?"

Lucy started laughing so hard she had to stop walking. Putting her hand over her tummy, she whined. "It actually hurts to laugh that hard." To get out of the other couple's way, she leaned against the wall. "It makes sense if you think about it. I'm very familiar with it, and it comforts me. It has never judged me, it has always given me everything I need, from gasoline to food, to bail." She smiled at Victor. "It never lied to me, never cheated on me, never walked out on me. Find me a man with all that going for him? I don't think so. At least not one I've met."

"She's got a point." Another very pregnant Lamaze student had stopped to listen to Lucy and laughed. Her husband was not AS amused, but he laughed.

All of them stood there, laughing, until Lucy saw Kevin staring at her. He definitely was NOT amused. She tried to stop smiling, but did not succeed. "No offense."

"Oh, none taken." If he'd been anymore sarcastic, it would have physically dripped from his body.

"Oh, Monk, what's happened to your sense of humor?" Victor tried to smooth his son's feathers.

"Nothing. I love being the butt of Lucy's jokes."

"Since when do you take everything I say that personally anymore?" Walking to him, she stared him in the eyes. "I don't remember the last time I said anything you really cared to hear."

"Maybe I feel like you don't want to tell me anything. And I don't know why. Dammit, Lucy, they're my children." Turning from her, he walked away.

Shaking her head slowly, Lucy looked at Victor and Mary. "Would someone please tell me what that was all about? I thought I was the one who was supposed to get all hormonal and act all weird."

"Did Kevin know Mary had signed you up for Lamaze?"

"No. He only calls me once a day. He wants to know when all my doctor's appointments are, but that's pretty much been the end of it since he spent the night with me a few weeks ago."

Victor took her hand. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he wanted to do this with you?"

"No. Why would it? He told me that he has to show Eve that she is important to him, and that these children won't be the end of them. So why would I expect him to want to waste precious time away from her to come to all these stupid classes with me?" Tears came and she walked away.

Mary stared at Victor. "Let me guess. He feels shut out, and she wants him there?"

"I knew I married a smart woman. I'll go get his side, you get hers."

Victor chased Kevin to the waiting room. "Would you like to explain that?"

"What's there to explain? Lucy is in Lamaze class with HER babies, and my father, right?"

"What you need to explain is the mixed messages you keep sending her." Dragging Kevin to the far corner of the room, he stared at him. "You told her you wanted to spend more time with Eve, right?"

"Yes. I need to make sure Eve knows how I feel."

"How do you feel? I mean, Lucy has left you alone, right?"

"Yes."

"That's what you wanted, right? You didn't want her to come between you and Eve, right?"

"She wasn't coming between me and Eve. I... I.." He sighed. "I want her to know I'm here. That I when I said I was the father, I meant it. I want to be there for everything."

"You need to tell her that. If you want to go to Lamaze with her, tell her! Don't expect her to read your mind. You can't tell her one thing, then get mad at her for not guessing what you're thinking."

Staring at his father, Kevin knew he was right. Before he could say anything, he saw Lucy approaching them. Her eyes were red, she'd been crying. Taking her hand, he led her to the sofa. "I guess we need to talk."

She shrugged.

"Can we please talk?"

"What do you want me to talk about? My next appointment isn't until Tuesday. I'm on a few different vitamins, and you know all this. What else?" She wanted him to be the one to say it.

"What about Lamaze?"

"What about it? Mary signed me up, and told Victor to take me. Two nights a week until about the time I'm due." She stared at him, almost shocked. "Don't tell me this is about the credit card comment. You are not that petty." Pausing, she leaned back. "Maybe it has been a while. Are you?"

"No. That's not what I'm..." He sighed. Taking her hand, he squeezed it. "I just wanted to..." Staring at the wall behind her, he searched for the words. "I want to be more involved, Lucy." His eyes finally met hers.

"Since when? You said you didn't want to spend so much time with me that it upset Eve. How much time is that, Kevin? I can't judge that. I've only gone by what you've told me! And how YOU'VE acted!" With a little help from him, she stood, shaking his hand off her back. "I'm having a hard enough time these days knowing what's going on in my own mind, I couldn't begin to figure out what's going on in yours! You can't imagine what I'm thinking, feeling... No, that's not it. You've made it clear you can't care! It interferes with your life." Tears came to her eyes, and she desperately needed to escape his stare. Wiping her face, she headed toward the elevator.

Eve came down the hall and stopped when she saw Kevin chase Lucy into the elevator. The doors shut behind them, and she shook her head. After ten minutes, she finally made a decision. So much for dinner with Kevin. Picking up the phone on the counter, she dialed Chris's number.

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