Valentine's Day In San Antonio

 (We open on Lucy, who is staring into space.  Kevin watches her, walks over, bends down and takes a closer look.  Lucy is a bit perplexed...)

L: "What are you doing?"

K: "Were you seeing something?"

L: "No, but that was the sweetest thing you ever said to me."

K: "That was?"

L: "Yeah, cause you meant it.  You believe in my visions, don't you? Yes, you do.  Yes, you do.  Yes, you do.  Yes, you do."

K: "No, no, no, no.  No, I believe that you believe."

L: "OK, what if we find Damian at the Sybarite Spa?"

K: "I'll cross that bridge if and when I get to it."

(We hear a knocking and Kevin continues...)

K: "Oh, I'll bet that's our pals."

L: "I'll get it.  `Pals.'  Do you realize that before you met me, did you have pals?  No, I think not."

K: "As if that were a bad thing."

(Lucy finds Mac, in full chauffeur disguise, at the door.)

Mac:  Need a limo, Ms. Coe?

Lucy: Well, look at you, Mac, I think you missed your calling.

Kevin: Well, well, well, don't you look dapper and a little stupid.

(Lucy smacks Kevin.)

Kevin: So, where's your partner-in-crime?

(it's just Luke...  Luke as Sam, flirts with Lucy and Kevin objects.)

Kevin:    Hey, hey, hey, watch it.  I think you're about to spring a leak in your pacemaker, pal.

(Luke chases Lucy around the room, with lines like, "Oh, come here, darling, let me sow my wild oats and you can pray for a crop failure." Kevin seems unamused.)

(There is more discussion of the "plan" and Luke proclaims his wish to "remain open to the variables of the situational dynamic."  Kevin realizes...)

Kevin:    He's going to wing it.

(Kevin wants to go along with Mac and Luke, until Lucy points out the compensations for staying behind, so to speak, as she sits in Kevin's lap.)

Lucy: You know, Doc, I can think of worse things than being trapped all alone together in a luxury hotel suite on Valentine's Day.

Luke:     (To Kevin)  You knew this was an ugly job when you took it.

(The dimpled smile of Kevin's indicates he's up, so to speak, for the job.)

(Bubba and the Octogenarian leave and Kevin worries...)

K: "You know, I'm beginning to feel that he thinks I'm an incompetent."

L: "Oh, definitely not, but you know just for the sake of your little ego, we could prove him wrong."

K: "Happy Valentine's Day to me."

(Kiss)

L: "I think we should make love all night."

K: "You hedonist, you."

(Yeah, Kevin, you look like you're suffering.  But as Lucy unbuttons his shirt, he notices her hesitation and asks...)

K: "Are you OK?"

L: "Yeah, I'm just a little worried.  I don't think I'll feel comfortable until Luke and Mac are back here, safe and sound."

K: "Well, like the man is so fond of saying, they are pros at this stuff."

L: "I know, but pros do get into trouble, too, you know."

K: "Well, if they get into trouble, your psychic whatever will know it, you'll tell me about it and I'll run off and save them."

L:"You do believe."

K: "Oh hell..."

L: "It's OK, listen, you don't have to admit it, it's enough that you came all the way down here after me.  You really are my hero."

K: "I don't want you to get the wrong impression.  Whether I believe in this, this psychic thing of yours is beside the point.  It's not even close to the point.  It's a whole separate issue.  The issue is: if something matters to you that much, then it matters to me.  And if you're determined enough to come all the way down here to San Antonio to find Damian, then it's up to me to be beside you and support you. And, if by some unfathomable quirk, Damian is actually here and Luke and Mac are able to round him up, then I will be cheering from the rooftops." L: "Thank you.  I will accept that gesture in the lovely spirit it was given and I'll take that as a Happy Valentine's Day."

(Kevin hands Lucy a big, red heart-shaped box of chocolates.)

L: "For me?  For me?  For me?"

K:"Of course, it is.  You can make an adorable little pig of yourself while you...  And you have my permission to take a bite out of each one and put it back if you don't like it."

(As Lucy does just that...)

L: "You are my funny, sexy, wonderful, smart, amazing, funny Valentine. I love you."

(Kiss)

K: "I love you, too."

(But Lucy misses Kevin's last kiss and goes back to the chocolate.)

(After the break, Luke and Mac return and pound on the door.  We see only the sofa, but hear Lucy whisper to Kevin...)

L: "You get it."

K: "No, you get it."

L: "I can't."

K: "You get it, you've got more clothes on... go..."

(Lucy appears from behind the sofa, pulling up her dress, which is unzipped down the back.)

L: "I'm coming.  You sure are impatient for an old man.  Get in, quick."

(Lucy opens the door.)

Luke:     I thought you'd be chomping at the bit to find out what's up.

Lucy:     Well, I am.  I am.

(Kevin finally makes his appearance from behind the sofa.  He looks as if he just threw on his clothes, his shirt is unbuttoned and untucked and his belt isn't buckled.  Kevin looks at Mac and Luke as if to dare them to say something, as he quickly zips up Lucy's dress.)

Mac:      Valentine's Day.

Luke:     My Valentine is 2000 miles away.

Mac:      Mine, too.  Did you have fun?

Kevin and Lucy chorus:  Yes, did you?

(Mac and Luke share the news about Damian and Luke finally takes a good look at Kevin.)

Luke:     What's that, a chocolate moustache, Doctor?

(Kevin rather guiltily licks his lips.)

Mac:      Well, you gotta admire his style, at any rate.

Kevin:    Thank you.

Mac:      Damian's.

Kevin:    I knew that.

Luke:     Your's too, Doc.

Kevin:    What's the bait?

Luke:     Lucy.

Lucy:     Oh, goodie.

Kevin:    Oh, goodie nothing.  No, you're not going to do it.

Lucy:     Yes, I am.

Kevin:    No, you're not, it's too risky.  How do you propose to protect her?

Luke:     Well, that's where you and Mac come in, Doc.  You're going to be in the room next to her...  I've got two words to say to you, fellahs... beautiful words, delicate words... Eve and Norma.

Mac:      That's three words.

Kevin:    Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

Luke:     Hey, Doctor, this is the only way you're going to stay close to Lucy 24 hours a day and not arouse suspicion.

Kevin:    It was only because half the attendees at Madame Mia's seminar were weirder than we were, that we barely got away with it in the first place.

Luke:     Oh, I don't know, Mac had me going.

Eve:      Well, I was quite a broad.

Kevin:    We looked like two Amazons from a train wreck.

Luke:     Damian's bodyguards are as tall as you are.  Don't sweat it.

Kevin:    Don't sweat it?  Don't sweat it, he says.  I don't see you choosing to walk around in high heels and a fright wig.

Lucy:     Doc...

Kevin:    What?

Lucy:     I think that Eve and Norma owe me this.

Mac:      Yes, look, you came here to protect, Lucy,  (Eve voice on) so put your money where you mouth is, Norma.

Kevin:    I think I'm being had.  Assuming I agree to this, when is this potential fiasco supposed to happen?

Luke:     Well, first you gals get your drag together...

Happy Valentine's Day!

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