Kevin Finds Lucy and Siggy Sharing a Bath

(We pick up our scene with Lucy and Siggy in the tub. Lucy's been talking about the sting and concludes...)

L: "Kevin Collins is probably the very best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole entire life."

(And on cue, we hear that basso bellow...)

K: "Lucy, where are you?"

(Lucy must remember her promise about Siggy and the tub, because she tells Siggy...)

L: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, get down, do something. It's Kevin.

(Kevin walks in and just silently looks at Lucy, Siggy clutched to her bosom.)

L: Hi."

(Kevin sits near the tub, his arms resting on the rim.)

K: "Nice to find you alive and in one piece."

L: "Well, what did you expect? Never mind, don't answer that. Do you want to hand me that towel in the sink, please?"

K: "Actually, I'm happy right where you are. You're a captive audience this way. Nice duck."

(Kevin is either leering, ready to pass out... or both.)

L: "I think you are several sheets to the wind."

K: "Such a quaint phrase, I wonder if anyone actually knows what the hell it means?"

(Kevin is clearly not a sailor!)

L: "You know what? You are making us very nervous."

K: "Good. I've had my stomach tied in knots all night. After we last met, I repaired to the Outback, where I made company with several very good Akavits, and began to consider all things Lucy. It actually evolved into a very interesting conversation."

L: "Conversation? With whom, Kevin? Who were you talking to about me?"

K: "Just me and the guys."

(Whoever thought you'd one day hear Kevin utter those particular words? Kevin and the guys? That is a difficult concept to wrap your mind around! ;-)

L: "The guys? The guys? What guys?"

K: "Now, now, try not to work yourself into a lather. Lather. Get it. (Kevin's playing with the bubbles) Never mind. Mac and Tony, who, by the way, have a very interesting insight into what makes you tick... tick... tick... "

L: "Kevin, oh, Kevin, please, oh please, tell me you did not tell them about my liaison with Luke. Did you? Tell me you didn't."

K: "What could I tell them? You haven't told me anything. I am a man without information, Lucy. Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Rien. That puts me at a distinct disadvantage and I don't much like that either."

L: "Thank God."

K: "I think you're missing the point, Lucy. I am very distressed. I'm out of control. Actually, you're the one out of control, but that makes me feel like I'm out of control. Do you have any idea what it's like to be me, knowing that you got to me in a way that I've never been gotten before?"

L: "Well, kind of..."

K: "It's terribly, terribly disconcerting because all my options stink. Really. I mean, what I should be doing is going home and cutting my losses. But that won't make me stop loving you. And that's the only way I can see out of this conundrum of mine. I just can't not love you."

L: "Oh, Kevin, I can't not love you, either."

K: "Well, there's my declaration. Now you know."

L: "Know what?"

K:"Everything. Whatever you're into, Lucy, I hate it. But I hate not being with you even more. So, here I am."

L: "And I am so glad that you are, here I am. So, come here."

(Kevin, inebriated, enamored and barely able to stand, but with a magnificent drunken dignity, straightens his jacket, rises, adjusts his vest and walks precariously along the edge of the tub. Lucy releases Sigmund and holds out her hand to Kevin. Kevin takes her hand, but can't seem to decide whether he should pull Lucy out of the tub or jump in himself. Lucy closes her eyes. Kevin finally settles for stepping into the tub. But Lucy has one concern...)

L: "Wait a minute, you do realize you are fully clothed?"

K: "Oops."

(You can see the gears turning... Kevin takes out his wallet, opens it, then closes it and tosses it to the floor. Satisfied, everything is now perfect, Kevin settles down into the tub and next to Lucy.)

L: "That's better."

(Lucy kisses his temple and Kevin leans back, into Lucy. The man has the most blissful, seraphic grin I have ever seen.)

(When next we see the dynamic duo, they're wearing *towels* and Kevin is pouring water out of his shoe. He finally gives up and tosses the shoe back into the tub. Lucy kisses him...)

L: "I am so glad that you decided not to drive home this evening."

(Kiss.)

K: "I just can't seem to stay away."

L: "You should stop fighting it because we are inevitable."

(Kevin smiles and Kevin and Lucy kiss as they head towards the bedroom...)

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