Kevin, Lucy, and Subject #13

Lucy, wearing a pale blue satin shorts suit, knocks quickly and bursts into Kevin's office. He is sitting on the edge of his desk, reading a report.

L: "Guess where I am not?"

K: "Everywhere but here."

L: "Yeah, that would be true. No - best of all, I am not at the ELQ board meeting. And if I even have one teeny, tiny regret about divesting myself of my stock, you know, all I have to do is think about that board meeting. Those stuffy people, stuffy Quartermaines, crammed into a stuffy room with Edward droning on and on, and all those stupid people bickering, and A.J. continually checking out my legs and a wave of relief just sweeps over me, 'cause I never, ever have to be there again."

K: "Good for you."

L: "Really?"

K: "If you're happy with the decision, that's all that really matters."

L: "What does that mean? Do you think I made a bad deal trading my stock for Jax Cosmetics? Because I don't - "

(Kevin can tell she's winding up for a long babble. He closes the report he was reading with a hint of patient resignation and rests his chin on his hand.)

L: "I absolutely, I don't, and I have been giving this a lot of thought day and night and night and day and day and night."

K: "Yes, I've noticed."

L: "But I am positively sure I did the right thing, I mean, onward and upward. I do have one teeny, tiny regret, though."

K: "Mmm hmm?"

L: "I would have loved to have seen the look on Edward's face when he found out who his new partner is."

(Later, after we get to see the look on Edward's face, we return to our duo, and Lucy observes:)

L: "I think I deserve a round of applause today."

(Kevin gives up altogether, tossing the report onto his desk, but he doesn't seem to mind.)

K: "Why today in particular?"

L: "Because, see, Jax asked me to keep our deal under my hat for a while, until he could figure out the best time to break the news to Edward, and I did it! Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?"

K: "Oh, very, I'm sure."

L: "Well, so, what do I get for being so good?"

K: "Now or later?"

L: "Now, for starters."

K: "How about a small gold star for the middle of your forehead? No? Then a chaste kiss."

L: "Chaste?"

K: "Yes, I have work to do."

L: "Oh, you do? That's good."

(Silence. Kevin shuffles some of his beloved files while Lucy beams at him, unnoticed. She clears her throat. No reaction. She finally can bear it no longer.)

L: "Well, aren't you going to - Doc!" (she nudges Kevin, who tries to divide his attention between Lucy and the files)

L: "Aren't you going to even notice how I accepted that with, okay, with - what do you call it - you know, delayed gratification?"

K: "Remarkable." (And back to the files.)

L: "I thought so. See, this is all part of the new me, ever evolving, the more mature, better me. It's all due to you."

(That gets his attention: he looks up from his files.)

L: "Well, I just used to be such a childish, self-involved person, and now I'm not. So, how are you?"

K: "Very well. Thank you for asking."

(Back to the files. Lucy grimaces and tries again.)

L: "And work? It's going nicely?"

K: "Mmm hmmm."

L: "Okay, so this is the part that always gives me trouble, this work part. Could you help me out just a little bit here?"

K: "You want to know what I'm doing specifically?"

L: "Ah, yeah, oh, yeah. I think it would be really fascinating. Of course, I would understand if you couldn't really tell me because of your patient confidentiality, you know, that doctor/patient kind of thing that you have with people that are your paying patients, you know."

(Her interest seems to surprise him. He puts the files aside.)

K: "Well, you're right, I can't tell you about my cases, but I can tell you in general terms where I am with research."

L: "Oh, good, so, your research. Ah, yeah, that twin thing."

(Lucy hesitates for a moment.)

L: "Well, okay, by all means. You just go right ahead and tell me all about it. Shoot."

(They sit down and Lucy arranges her face into what she hopes is a look of interest.)

K: "Well, what I'm doing right now is reviewing all the twins' transcripts. I'm looking for commonalities and I'm revising my interview questions."

L: "That seems like a very valid approach."

K: "Yes, yes. Well, I've interviewed four sets of monozygotic twins and two sets of dizygotic twins."

L: "Huh?"

K: "Sorry. What that means in lay terms is identical and fraternal. In any event, all six sets were separated at birth and raised independently of each other."

L: "Independence - I'm all for independence for children..... twins."

K: "Good. Well, what I'm getting ready to do now is find a set that may have been separated later on, say around age three or four."

(Lucy leaps to her feet abruptly, heading for the door.)

L: "That's good, that is so good for you, and you know what, Doc, I have a feeling in my heart that you are heading in the right direction. You just keep on heading there."

K: "Thank you. And what direction would you be going in?"

L: "Oh, well, I can only delay gratification so long. I mean, I can delay it, but not indefinitely. So now that I know Jax has told the Q's, you know, well, I'm gonna run out and tell everybody that I am sole owner and queen of Jax Cosmetics. I love you - bye!"

(Lucy darts away, and Kevin bemusedly watches her go.)

Lucy vists Deception to try to ruin Katherine's day with her news. We next see Kevin alone in his office, reading some notes from a steno pad. Whether these are Kevin's own questions, or are things he was asked to research, is unclear; the relevance of the questions to his own life, though, is undeniable.

K: "How does a firstborn twin differ from his sibling? Do firstborns tend to be more dominant? Do firstborns tend to be more aggressive? What are the origins of the extreme guilt one twin may feel if the other dies?"

(Kevin's eyes have that dark, brooding look. He tosses the steno pad aside and stares at the video camera in his office. After a moment, he stands up, walks over to adjusts the camera position, and loads a tape. He sits down, starts the camera, and begins to speak.)

K: "This is subject number 13 in the Oxford Twin Study - Kevin Collins."

(We miss most of the "interview", returning just in time to see him wrap it up:)

K: "Interview 1 completed, 2:50 pm, Wednesday, May 1, 1996. More to follow."

(Kevin closes his eyes wearily and massages his temples while the tape rewinds. He starts watching it, but all we see at first is the introduction we watched him record. Later, we see Kevin-on-tape saying:)

K: "I'm not sure I ever felt different, but I can say there was a side of me that felt incomplete, unknowable even. And the closer I got to glimpsing that void, the more compelled I felt to see what was -"

(There's a knock on the door, and Lucy walks in. How many of you, like me, wanted to beg Lucy to go away for a while so we could see the tape? Kevin turns off the TV as soon as she greets him.)

L: "Hi! I have had the most outrageously delicious afternoon."

K: "I'm very glad to hear it."

L: "So whatcha doing?"

K: "Oh, just some good old research."

(Kevin gets up and walks around his desk, steno pad in hand. As he passes Lucy, she grabs him.)

L: "Oh, so that's why you have that good old glint in your eye - that bad one I like so much, I find so darned attractive."

(They kiss. Lucy goes on to kiss Kevin's neck while we see his face. Too bad Lucy didn't see what we saw, because all is not well with Doc Kevin.)

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