Tears


Lucy, in a short blue low-cut dress, is bustling around her apartment preparing for Damian's arrival to collect payment on the bet, which Lucy recently lost. We see champagne and hors d'oeuvres (stuffed mushrooms, which Lucy tastes and declares "not bad"):

L: "...and the ever-popular stock, *my* stock, certificates."

(Doorbell.)

L: "You're early, you miserable, rotten...."

(Lucy checks her dress and opens the door. Lo and behold, Kevin lounges in the doorway. He looks Lucy up and down appreciatively.)

K: "Lucy!"

L: "Ah, Kevin, what are you doing?"

K: "I was worried about you. Unnecessarily, it would seem."

(He brushes past her and walks into her apartment.)

L: "Oh, how sweet."

K: "Yes, well, I have my moments...... You really are okay?"

L: "Oh, fine, fine, everything's just dandy, I'm doing really fine, but I'm expecting company."

(As Lucy is talking, Kevin takes in the scene - the champagne and so on. He picks up the plate of mushroom appetizers.)

K: "So I see. Do you mind? They look wonderful." (Kevin helps himself to a mushroom.) "Mmm, mmm, *very* nice. Did you make these yourself?"

(Lucy grabs the plate out of Kevin's hands.)

L: "Don't be ridiculous. Well, you know, it was very, very sweet of you to have such concern for me and for stopping by -"

K: "Here's your hat, what's your hurry - is that the message I'm getting?"

L: "That would be rude. Almost as rude as not calling first before you came by to see if I was busy."

K: "Touche. Lucy, this apparent seduction you're planning, would it have anything to do with resolving the Bobbie/Damian mess?"

L: "Frankly, that is none of your business."

K: "That's funny, it *was* my business when you brought it to my attention at the memorial service. I'm right to worry, Lucy - you're about to do something regrettable."

L: "No I'm not."

K: "Well, then, why don't you share it with me? I could be helpful, unless you're afraid I'll try and talk you out of it."

(Kevin sits down on the sofa and seems to be settling in for a visit. Lucy gives up and sits beside him.)

L: "Well, I have everything right under control down to the very last detail."

(She tugs at the plunging neckline of her dress as she says this, which attracts Kevin's attention to her cleavage.)

K: "Yes, and you're using your brains for this, I can tell. This could be fascinating."

L: "Well, then why don't you stay and watch a master at work?"

K: "No, watching's not my style."

L: "Well, then, it would probably be a good idea for you to be leaving."

K: "You're probably right. I have a feeling there's going to be a train wreck here tonight, and I may not have the stomach for it."

(Kevin stands up, grabs his jacket, and pops another mushroom into his mouth.)

L: "I'm just doing what I have to."

K: "A frightening thought. Do me a favor, though, Lucy. As you live to regret this, and you will, don't expect anything from me beyond 'I told you so.' And by the way, dahling, you look simply mahvelous."

(With a mischievous grin, Kevin opens the door and leaves.)

L: "Get over yourself."

In between here, Damian arrives to collect on the bet, though things don't go quite the way he thought they would. The next day, Kevin appears yet again on Lucy's doorstep:

L: "Kevin. I've halfway been expecting you."

K: "Well, I'm halfway flattered."

L: "Come in."

K: "Thank you."

(And he does.)

K: "You know, a funny thing happened to me a short time after I came to Port Charles. I met a woman - witty, intelligent, gorgeous, with just a hint of the devil in her eyes. And she told me a story, a story about money and power, sex and jealousy, stocks and bonds. Well, needless to say, before I knew it, I was hooked."

L: "On the woman or the story?"

K: "Well, let's concentrate on the story for now. Anyway, I found myself so intrigued that I began to eagerly anticipate the next installment. I even began second-guessing the players. Will the wife see the error of her ways before she ruins her marriage? Will the beautiful protagonist warn the wife about the evil stranger's motivations before the deed is done? Will the husband simply tire of the whole situation and hop a plane to parts un- known? But the most intriguing one of all - ah, yes, the theme - can virtue be compromised by corruption?"

L: "Shut up."

K: "Well, you can imagine how fascinated I became when: (a) the beautiful protagonist - that would be you - clearly had something up her sleeve the day of BJ's memorial service, and (b) anyone with eyes could see that something was brewing here last night."(Ricky Ricardo mode on) "Lucy, you've got some 'splaining to do."

(Lucy says nothing.)

K: "Lucy, I'm waiting."

L: "Would you stop that, please. You know what I'm going to do? One day I'm going to torture you into telling me one of your dirty little secrets."

K: "What makes you think I have any?"

L: "Oh, everybody has one or two."

K: "Well, today the spotlight is yours. Come on, Lucy, I know you're dying to tell."

L: "Don't be so smug - it's not very attractive. All right, fine, where did we leave off."

K: "Bobbie succumbed."

L: "I told you that?"

K: "It was a moment of weakness."

L: "Did I tell you how I found out?"

K: "That would be a good place to start."

(Lucy explains that she visited Damian's hotel room to try to put a stop to the bet, and found Bobbie there in a bathrobe. Then Lucy went to the Brownstone and told Bobbie everything, but Bobbie didn't believe Lucy.)

L: "So I just decided I had to do something definitive."

K: "Well, don't stop now, Lucy - I'm on the edge of my seat."

L: "Well, I told her I could prove everything - that if she took my key to my apartment and she showed up the night that I was supposed to pay off the bet with Damian that...."

(Kevin looks stricken when he realizes the rest.)

K: "That she would walk in and find you in bed with Damian."

L: "Well, there you go. I just hate it when you finish my stories."

K: "Am I right?"

L: "Aren't you always right?"

K: "How far did you go, Lucy?"

L: "Excuse me?"

K: "How far did you go, Lucy?"

(Every word was said with emphasis. The answer to this question matters a *lot* to Kevin.)

L: "Oh, for heaven's sakes, I didn't go that far. I mean, what kind of woman do you really think I am?"

K: "Adventurous. Oh, boy, what was Bobbie's reaction?"

L: "Well, before or after she dumped a whole ice bucket on Damian's - I wish I'd had a camera, you know, that little moment frozen in time forever. But, all kidding aside, Bobbie was really hurting."

K: "Then all's well that ends well, right, Lucy?"

L: "All's well that ends well? That's a callous thing to say."

K: "I'm merely looking at it from your point of view, Lucy."

L: "Mine?"

K: "You know, it's almost ingenious how you set this whole thing up. You even get to tell yourself that you did everything humanly possible to try and keep Bobbie away from Damian."

L: "I did."

K: "Of course you did. You'd be a regular Joan of Arc if it weren't for that pesky little revenge thing."

L: "Oh, please, do not start that again."

K: "But it's such an important piece of the puzzle. It goes directly to motive."

L: "So now you're a lawyer too?"

K: "Lucy, you've resented Bobbie for years for coming between you and your favorite ex-husband. And, boy, did you fix her!"

L: "You're making me sound like a spoiled brat."

K: "Lucy, you have to admit, there were plenty of other things you could have done to handle the situation."

L: "Well, then, you name one."

K: "All right. You could have made a tape of one of your conversations with Damian. Lucy, you orchestrated this entire bedroom farce down to the slightest nuance of detail and timing. Getting Damian to make an incriminating remark on tape would have been like falling off a log. But, no - you chose to rub Bobbie's nose in it. Having her get hurt by the truth isn't nearly as interesting as throwing in a dose of primal humiliation, is it?"

L: "People pay you, don't they, they pay you for this stuff! Well, you just gave a horrible misreading of my motives. I made a mistake, a big, fat mistake, and I was trying to undo it. But if you had this brilliant idea about tape recording it, why didn't you just tell me?"

(Kevin is annoyed, and he starts walking towards Lucy. She is a bit intimidated and retreats. He advances more, he retreats more, and they basically circle the sofa in this mode.)

K: "Because it's not my job to clean up your messes. And it's not my job to take responsibility for your actions. That's your job. That's my whole point. Lucy, you threw Damian into that particular marriage, for your own amusement, I might add. And then you took him away from her, and you forced her to watch. But the beauty of it is how cleanly you get away. People may be a little annoyed with you, but so what? What else is new? And then, when you take into account Damian's motives, yours pale by comparison. So take a bow, Lucy - well done!

(Lucy stumbles and sits down on the sofa.)

L: "Why are you being so mean to me?"

(Kevin sits down beside her.)

K: "I'm just trying to get you see what you've done. Actually, I'm not being condemning or judgmental; I'm sorry if it sounds that way. But I'm not going to help you adjust your blinders until they're comfortable. Exposing the bet by inflicting the most damage possible does not absolve you of the responsibility for setting the whole thing in motion in the first place."

(Lucy begins to cry. Kevin is stunned and looks totally helpless. Lucy turns her back to Kevin and continues to cry.)

K: "Lucy, don't cry."

L: "Well, you are a mean and a horrible person, Kevin Collins."

K: "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough on you."

L: "Well, contrary to popular opinion, you know, I do have feelings."

K: "Of course you do; I didn't mean to hurt them."

L: "Well, what do you expect? You keep telling me over and over again that I'm responsible for ruining people's lives that way."

K: "Let me get you a tissue."

(Kevin stands up and looks helplessly at Lucy. He heads across the room to the box of tissues. He doesn't see her peek at him with a satisfied look on her face. He pulls one tissue out of the box, looks back at Lucy, and decides to bring the whole box over. He sits back down beside her.)

K: "Here."

L: "Thank you."

(Lucy takes some tissues and uses them)

K: "Better?"

L: "Yes, thanks."

K: "Lucy, I really didn't mean to make you cry."

L: "Well, fine, then I forgive you - it's just I'm very, very sensitive right now."

K: "I know; I should have been more considerate of that. So, where do things stand between you and Damian now?"

L: "Oh, he's furious. And, there's more."

K: "Oh, good grief!"

L: "Well, after Bobbie left I told him that I would not turn over my ELQ stock."

K: "You welshed on the bet?"

L: "Well, what did you expect me to do, reward him for trashing my friend's marriage?"

K: "So now Bobbie's your friend?" L: "No, Tony is my friend. There you go again; you can't help yourself, can you?"

K: "Well, I guess not, Lucy, as long as you're constantly throwing these surprises at me. Let me get this straight. Not only did you do everything that I mentioned, which I'm never going to mention again for fear of starting another flood, but you've made a potential enemy out of a dangerous man." L: "All right, I think you should be leaving. You know, if you make me feel any better, soon I'll decide to kill myself."

K: "Are you kicking me out?"

L: "You're very perceptive."

K: "Why are people always kicking me out?"

L: "Gee, I don't know, you know. Maybe you should analyze that for yourself, Kevin - at home."

K: "You're angry."

(Lucy stalks towards the door to open it for him. Kevin follows behind.)

L: "Oh, no, I'm not angry. No, I'm just deciding that you're being like a shrink, aren't you - just kind of preaching doom and gloom, and you're making people listen to things they don't really want to hear."

K: "I'm also your friend."

(They are standing together by the open door. Kevin reaches out and gently wipes a tear off of Lucy's cheek.)

K: "You know, I learned something tonight."

L: "What?"

K: "I don't like to see you cry."

(Kevin leaves; Lucy shuts the door, and looks rather pleased with herself.)

Main Transcript Page        Home