Kevin, Lucy, and Trying To Help

Thanks to Alicia for this Transcript!

(KNOCK KNOCK)

L: Whoever it is just go away.

K: Lucy let me in we need to talk. Come on Lucy I'm not giving up until you open this door.

L: Please you're making this alot more difficult than it already is.

K: Maybe I can help.

L: No Doc you don't understand. I can't do this. I'm having enough trouble taking care of my own fears but if I have to look in your face and see maybe hope... I can't take that.

K: Lucy I do understand and I need your help too. Yes, I need your help. I think as much as you need mine. Maybe we need each other more than we ever have so please open the door. (She does)

L: Look Doc, I know I said before that I was scared but the fact is I'm terrified.

K: So am I. Can I get you anything?

L: Like what?

K: I don't know, I'd just like to do something besides stand around and take up space. Or make empty small talk just to make the quiet seem less quiet.

L: No...I guess it's just the zero hour.

K: Well I'll just pace aimlessly I guess.

L: Uh,ya you know go ahead do whatever it takes, cause it's just gonna take a minute and then we'll know for sure that I'm not pregnant.

K: Not?

L: Not, that's what I said I'm not. We'll know that I'm not.

K: Lucy (He reaches for her because she is crying but she breaks away and heads to the other room with the test.) What is taking so long she has to know by now.

L: Doc, I told you no surprises.

K: You mean you're not?

L: No, no I'm not, of course not. I didn't really believe, you know, I wasn't really thinking I could actually be pregnant. Oh my God I'm not, I'm not, I'm just not.

K: Lucy I'm sorry. I just wish there was something more I could say or do....something.

L: I know but I think you also know, this is all I've ever wanted in my whole life, the only thing I really, really wanted was to carry a child of my own.

K: Maybe it could still happen.

L: Please, please stop.

K: It was just a false alarm though Lucy, it's still possible.

L: Is that what you think? This was all just a false alarm?

K: I'm just saying that it's still possible for you to become pregnant one day.

L: With whom? Who would be the father you? Doc come on every time we've made love it just feels like a great big....

K: What, like what?

L: Like a mistake. We always feel so guilty and we end up apologizizng to each other and then we end up promising we're never gonna do that again.

K: That's true but...

L: But nothing. What are you saying now? Are you saying that you've changed your mind, that it's okay now, that you're allright with it, that we can go ahead and make that terrible awful mistake again?

K: Lucy you know how much you mean to me.

L: And you know how much this means to me. So Doc, let's just do it shall we? Let's just do it right now and get it over with. I'm ready. Are you ready? Come on help me make my lifetime dream come true.

K: Lucy please don't do this.

L: Don't...you don't want to is that what you're saying? So I misread you. You're not willing to be the father. Okay let me see so you want me to look for other candidates. Maybe you can help me do that. Better yet, I'll save you the trouble. Maybe I'm just gonna call Jack. You know, maybe we'll go all the way this time that might be kinda fun.

K: Lucy you made your point.

L: What point? Is the point that you don't want me now to have sex with someone else? Is that...you're right, you don't like this idea, okay let me see mayve we can do this without actually having sex. I know, I'll go to a sperm bank, your local handy sperm bank and then you can be there too. Us together, then you can actually be the father.

K: Lucy please stop this!

L: What!? Stop what!? Stop getting angry, stop being hurt, stop losing control. I can't Doc because it's your turn, it's your turn to stop because I want you to stop all of this right now.

K: Lucy all I want is to try and make things better for you.

L: Just don't.

K: Well I can't help it. I know how upset you are and all I can think of is how I can help even if it means all I'm saying are the wrong things and all I'm doing are the wrong things. All I want to do is make things better for you.

L: I know what you're trying to do Doc you're trying to pat me on the head and calm me down and tell me ya...you could get pregnant again. You can carry a child of your own, that you've always wanted and maybe you can even carry the child that we always wanted. But Doc all you're doing don't you see, all you're doing is just making this harder.

K: Then you need to tell me how.

L: How? First you could just stop making me believe that there's something that could happen between us with a baby involved. That I could have a child because it's not happening in my life. I mean with or without you in my life that doesn't seem to be a part of it. But I can't help hoping you know? That little teeny excuse happens and I'm off again and I'm thinkin maybe this time. But my God this time I really did believe it. My hopes were way up here. I thought this is it, I'm finally carrying a child, our child after all these years.

K: Lucy don't you think I know this hurts.

L: But you don't know how much. My dream, my whole lifetime dream. Overnight I could create it over the tiniest little excuse.

K: You need to tell me what to do, how can I help.

L: I don't know. All I know is how you can't help. You can't help by telling me that we have a future together. Especially don't tell me we have a future as a family because I know that something will go wrong, that next week, next month, sometime I'm gonna do something or say something wrong and then I get it again. I get that roller coaster speech, or the "why do you always do and say something wrong", or maybe that speech "Lucy you are so stupid for trusting in your ridiculous universe"!

K: Lucy that's not true and you know it. Now please stop!

L: That's the word, that's the word right there, STOP! That is what I'm trying to do don't you see? I have to stop all of this cause I can't take it anymore. I swear I can't. You keep telling me, you would hate being with me sometimes because it's like a roller coaster. Get off Doc! Just get off of it okay. Turn in your pass, rip up your ticket. Just get off the ride, they're closed! I am taking this whole thing and shutting it down once and for all, forever, finished! It is OVER between us and you need to go right now. Just go out that door and don't look back, don't wonder about me, don't worry about me, and please for God's sake don't you give a damn about me. No, don't you do that, don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me again, ever!

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