Kevin, Lucy, and Wild Cards


Kevin is in his office, working on a pencil sketch. While the face is extremely stylized, it appears to be his (and Ryan's) face looking back at us - and at him - from the sketchpad.

Lucy bursts in, bubbling over about renting office space for Jacks Cosmetics at the top of the Port Charles Hotel. Lucy notices that Kevin is totally engrossed in the sketch pad; she walks around behind his desk.

L: "Hello, am I alone in this world? What is so fascinating?"

(Before she can get a good look at the drawing, Kevin whips the sketchpad closed. He stands up and takes her by the shoulders.)

K: "Oh, I'm sorry." (He kisses her cheek; she looks confused.)

K: "Hi. You smell good"

L: "Oh. Thank you. Okay, what are we doing, are we going to say hello again, I mean, should I go out and come in again, is that it?"

K: "Oh, now, why the heck would I want you to do something like that?"

(Kevin, his arm around Lucy, all but drags her away from his desk - and the sketchpad - and over in front of the sofa.)

L: "Because you have not been listening to one single exciting word I've been saying."

K: "I have too."

L: "Have not."

K: "I have too. It was something about....... " (a long pause ensues in which Lucy pointedly clears her throat; then Kevin saves his bacon by remembering) "Jacks Cosmetics, office space for Jacks Cosmetics, and Katherine being a cellar rat."

L: "Oh. Okay, that's very good. You were listening, sort of. Doc, I just feel like today is going to be a very, very good day, if I could just find my crystal. Have you seen it?"

K: "You mean that odd-shaped paperweight thing that you picked up in that metaphysical shop in San Antonio?"

L: "Very good, but you don't have to be insulting. It is not a paper- weight. It is a spiritual tool that I use to focus my energy and clear my mind."

K: "I stand corrected."

L: "Okay. Look, I am starting this new ad campaign, and it would really help me a lot if I could just hold it so I could visualize better."

K: "I wish I could help you."

L: "Oh, darn! I wonder where it could be? Oh, I hate it when this happens! Okay, Doc, let me go over the list again." (Lucy reviews the list of all the places where she looked. Kevin, behind her, gazes at the closed sketchpad on his desk. She finishes her list of places.)

K: "It'll turn up. It's probably in a place you checked 100 times already."

L: "I know, I know that. But, see, I really need it now, because I have come up with the most brilliant new ad campaign idea. Did I mention the concept to you?"

K: "No." (Kevin is extremely amused by this question.)

L: "Okay, listen to this." (She describes an idea involving huge playing cards. Four jacks - get it? - and Brenda in front, as the Queen of Hearts.)

L: "So, do you like it?"

K: "I like it."

L: "Oh, good!"

K: "So, it's definite? Brenda's staying on with you?"

L: "Um, well, I'm sure she is. I mean, how could she not? After all, she wouldn't even be a model if I didn't hire her in the first place, so I'm sure she wouldn't leave me when I so desperately need her."

K: "Well, people stay grateful only for so long, Lucy. Eventually they move on."

L: "Gee, Doctor, thank you for that very cheery little sentiment."

K: "I'm just trying to inject a little realism into the proceedings. That is my job, after all, and I'd hate to see you set yourself up for a disappointment."

L: "Thank you, that's very sweet. But that's not gonna happen, because once Brenda hears what's gonna go on at Jax Cosmetics, she'll want to be on board, you know, it's going to be big and exciting and on the cutting edge. And now if I could just find my crystal so I could focus all these zillion ideas going off in my head into one stunning, breathtaking image. I gotta think. Okay, okay Lucy, think - "

K: "All right, when was the last time you saw it?"

(Lucy lets out a scream.)

L: "Oh, no. The last time I saw it was on the shelf at Deception. And I had forgotten - I let Katherine finish cleaning out my office. I bet she kept it on purpose. I gotta go - I've gotta save my crystal - I've gotta save it from her grimy little sweaty palms, Doc. I'll see ya - bye - I love ya - see ya!"

(Lucy flies out of the office. Kevin, seated behind his desk, looks down, probably to resume his study of the sketch.)

Lucy goes to Deception and has a screaming match with Katherine over ownership of Brenda. Kevin shows up at police HQ with two styrofoam food-to-go boxes. Mac invites Kevin into his office (showing off his nameplate on the door, at which Kevin rolls his eyes), and asks his professional opinion of Laura's situation. Then Mac sniffs and asks,

Mac: "What is smelling so bad?"

Kevin: "Food from your restaurant. Outback burgers with the works. I realized that I was getting a little buggy under that twin study."

M: "No surprise there."

K: "Thank you. So I forced myself to take a break, and I found myself automatically heading over to the Outback to shoot the breeze with you. Imagine my surprise when I found out that they actually expect you to put in time here."

M: "Can you believe it?"

K: "Anyway, I picked up a couple to go." (Kevin puts one of the food boxes in front of Mac.)

M: "Unfortunately, I'm having lunch with Katherine. Well, actually, fortunately for me. We haven't seen too much of each other since we started new jobs and all. She has plans."

K: "Well, forget that I asked. Far be it from me to stand in the way of plans." (Kevin retrieves the box in front of Mac. The phone rings, and Mac has a brief conversation.)

M: "What do they say about the best-laid plans?"

K: "They usually blow up in your face. Katherine, I take it?"

M: "Yeah, she's in the middle of a crisis named Lucy."

K: "Oh, no, not again."

M: "And I think this time one of them might go for the jugular."

K: "Great. Where are they?"

M: "Deception."

K: "Do you think we should take a ride over there?"

(A brief silence, and then the guys respond in chorus.)

Mac & Kevin: "Naaaaaah!"

(Kevin hands Mac the second lunch box and they dig in. Apparently Kevin has been telling Mac about the twin study, because when we rejoin them, Mac asks:)

M: "Isn't life complicated enough without throwing this into the mix?"

K: "But it's fascinating, Mac. I've been haunted by this nature vs. nurture thing ever since I found out what Ryan grew up to be."

M: "Have you come across any other serial kill/shrink combinations?"

K: "Not so far, but I know that the answer's out there, and I think this twin study might actually lead me to it."

M: "What's the question, exactly?"

K: "In a nutshell? Is criminal inclination and/or behavior genetically programmed or determined solely by the environment in which you're raised?"

M: "Guess what, pal -- this is where you came in. Kevin, if you've been torturing yourself over whether you're anything like Ryan, let me put your mind at ease. The answer is no. Come on, look, you may look alike, walk alike, sound alike. But you've got a soul. He didn't. He probably never had one to begin with."

K: "That's not true."

M: "Whatever. If Ryan were alive, at least we'd know who killed Damian."

K: "That's good. When in doubt, blame Ryan."

M: "Can we not talk about Ryan? He's not my favorite subject."

K: "Sorry."

M: "You said you didn't buy Laura as the murderer. Who gets your vote?"

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