Kevin, Lucy, and Wild Cards
Kevin is in his office, working
on a pencil sketch. While the
face is extremely stylized, it
appears to be his (and Ryan's)
face looking back at us - and at
him - from the sketchpad.
Lucy bursts in, bubbling over
about renting office space for
Jacks Cosmetics at the top of
the Port Charles Hotel. Lucy
notices that Kevin is totally
engrossed in the sketch pad;
she walks around behind his
desk.
L: "Hello, am I alone in this
world? What is so fascinating?"
(Before she can get a good look
at the drawing, Kevin whips the
sketchpad closed. He stands up
and takes her by the shoulders.)
K: "Oh, I'm sorry." (He kisses her
cheek; she looks confused.)
K: "Hi. You smell good"
L: "Oh. Thank you. Okay, what
are we doing, are we going to
say hello again, I mean, should
I go out and come in again, is
that it?"
K: "Oh, now, why the heck would
I want you to do something like
that?"
(Kevin, his arm around Lucy,
all but drags her away from his
desk - and the sketchpad - and
over in front of the sofa.)
L: "Because you have not been
listening to one single exciting
word I've been saying."
K: "I have too."
L: "Have not."
K: "I have too. It was something
about....... " (a long pause
ensues in which Lucy pointedly
clears her throat; then Kevin
saves his bacon by
remembering) "Jacks
Cosmetics, office space for
Jacks Cosmetics, and Katherine
being a cellar rat."
L: "Oh. Okay, that's very good.
You were listening, sort of.
Doc, I just feel like today is
going to be a very, very good
day, if I could just find my
crystal. Have you seen it?"
K: "You mean that odd-shaped
paperweight thing that you
picked up in that metaphysical
shop in San Antonio?"
L: "Very good, but you don't have
to be insulting. It is not a paper-
weight. It is a spiritual tool that
I use to focus my energy and
clear my mind."
K: "I stand corrected."
L: "Okay. Look, I am starting this
new ad campaign, and it would
really help me a lot if I could
just hold it so I could visualize
better."
K: "I wish I could help you."
L: "Oh, darn! I wonder where it
could be? Oh, I hate it when
this happens! Okay, Doc, let me
go over the list again." (Lucy
reviews the list of all the places
where she looked. Kevin,
behind her, gazes at the closed
sketchpad on his desk. She
finishes her list of places.)
K: "It'll turn up. It's probably in a
place you checked 100 times
already."
L: "I know, I know that. But, see, I
really need it now, because I
have come up with the most
brilliant new ad campaign idea.
Did I mention the concept to
you?"
K: "No." (Kevin is extremely
amused by this question.)
L: "Okay, listen to this." (She
describes an idea involving
huge playing cards. Four jacks -
get it? - and Brenda in front, as
the Queen of Hearts.)
L: "So, do
you like it?"
K: "I like it."
L: "Oh, good!"
K: "So, it's definite? Brenda's
staying on with you?"
L: "Um, well, I'm sure she is. I
mean, how could she not? After
all, she wouldn't even be a
model if I didn't hire her in the
first place, so I'm sure she
wouldn't leave me when I so
desperately need her."
K: "Well, people stay grateful only
for so long, Lucy. Eventually
they move on."
L: "Gee, Doctor, thank you for
that very cheery little
sentiment."
K: "I'm just trying to inject a little
realism into the proceedings.
That is my job, after all, and I'd
hate to see you set yourself up
for a disappointment."
L: "Thank you, that's very sweet.
But that's not gonna happen,
because once Brenda hears
what's gonna go on at Jax
Cosmetics, she'll want to be on
board, you know, it's going to
be big and exciting and on the
cutting edge. And now if I
could just find my crystal so I
could focus all these zillion
ideas going off in my head into
one stunning, breathtaking
image. I gotta think. Okay, okay
Lucy, think - "
K: "All right, when was the last
time you saw it?"
(Lucy lets out a scream.)
L: "Oh, no. The last time I saw it
was on the shelf at Deception.
And I had forgotten - I let
Katherine finish cleaning out
my office. I bet she kept it on
purpose. I gotta go - I've gotta
save my crystal - I've gotta save
it from her grimy little sweaty
palms, Doc. I'll see ya - bye - I
love ya - see ya!"
(Lucy flies out of the office.
Kevin, seated behind his desk,
looks down, probably to resume
his study of the sketch.)
Lucy goes to Deception and has
a screaming match with
Katherine over ownership of
Brenda. Kevin shows up at
police HQ with two styrofoam
food-to-go boxes. Mac invites
Kevin into his office (showing
off his nameplate on the door,
at which Kevin rolls his eyes),
and asks his professional
opinion of Laura's situation.
Then Mac sniffs and asks,
Mac: "What is smelling so bad?"
Kevin: "Food from your restaurant.
Outback burgers with the
works. I realized that I was
getting a little buggy under that
twin study."
M: "No surprise there."
K: "Thank you. So I forced myself
to take a break, and I found
myself automatically heading
over to the Outback to shoot the
breeze with you. Imagine my
surprise when I found out that
they actually expect you to put
in time here."
M: "Can you believe it?"
K: "Anyway, I picked up a couple
to go." (Kevin puts one of the
food boxes in front of Mac.)
M: "Unfortunately, I'm having
lunch with Katherine. Well,
actually, fortunately for me. We
haven't seen too much of each
other since we started new jobs
and all. She has plans."
K: "Well, forget that I asked. Far
be it from me to stand in the
way of plans." (Kevin retrieves
the box in front of Mac. The
phone rings, and Mac has a
brief conversation.)
M: "What do they say about the
best-laid plans?"
K: "They usually blow up in your
face. Katherine, I take it?"
M: "Yeah, she's in the middle of a
crisis named Lucy."
K: "Oh, no, not again."
M: "And I think this time one of
them might go for the jugular."
K: "Great. Where are they?"
M: "Deception."
K: "Do you think we should take a
ride over there?"
(A brief silence, and then the
guys respond in chorus.)
Mac & Kevin: "Naaaaaah!"
(Kevin hands Mac the second
lunch box and they dig in.
Apparently Kevin has been
telling Mac about the twin
study, because when we rejoin
them, Mac asks:)
M: "Isn't life complicated enough
without throwing this into the
mix?"
K: "But it's fascinating, Mac. I've
been haunted by this nature vs.
nurture thing ever since I found
out what Ryan grew up to be."
M: "Have you come across any
other serial kill/shrink
combinations?"
K: "Not so far, but I know that the
answer's out there, and I think
this twin study might actually
lead me to it."
M: "What's the question, exactly?"
K: "In a nutshell? Is criminal
inclination and/or behavior
genetically programmed or
determined solely by the
environment in which you're
raised?"
M: "Guess what, pal -- this is
where you came in. Kevin, if
you've been torturing yourself
over whether you're anything
like Ryan, let me put your mind
at ease. The answer is no.
Come on, look, you may look
alike, walk alike, sound alike.
But you've got a soul. He didn't.
He probably never had one to
begin with."
K: "That's not true."
M: "Whatever. If Ryan were alive,
at least we'd know who killed
Damian."
K: "That's good. When in doubt,
blame Ryan."
M: "Can we not talk about Ryan?
He's not my favorite subject."
K: "Sorry."
M: "You said you didn't buy Laura
as the murderer. Who gets your
vote?"
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