Knock. Knock.

The wind rushed swiftly past me, further chilling my already frigid body. I wrapped my arms around my chest, awaiting an answer at the front door. “Just a minute,” I heard her call. I took in a ragged breath, attempting to collect my thoughts and emotions before she opened the door.

Abruptly, the large door flew open, revealing Julie, startled seeing me there. “Hi, Julie,” I said somberly.

“Nick?” She asked, her face paled. “You’re soaking wet!”

My eyes wandered down my body, “I walked here from my house,” I replied.

“You walked?!?” She asked, her eyes wide.

I nodded.

She ushered me into her house, “C’mon inside, Nick; you’re gonna end up getting sick!” Slowly, I toddled into her home, walking into the living room as she walked away to retrieve some towels. She walked back, eyeing me like a sick puppy, handing me the towels. Water dripped from every inch of my body. Drip. Drip. Right onto her floors. Using one of the towels, I wiped off my face and used it to soak up some of the water absorbed into my hair like a sponge. Still she stared at me. Just as I was preparing to open my mouth, Julie beat me to it. “Nick, you need to get out of those wet clothes.”

Again, I took a gander at myself. Still wet. Still cold. And why did she care? “I’ll be fine.”

“Nick,” she scolded, impatience evident on her face. “I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I’ll be fine, Julie; it’s no big deal.”

Her gorgeous eyes scanned my face. Her subtle pink lips barely opened. I waited for her to speak, but she never did.

“I don’t have anything to change into anyway,” I replied.

She shook her head, walking over to me before her supple fingers latched onto the saturated cotton edge of my T-shirt, bringing it over my head. Our eyes met, and I had to fight the urge not to kiss her. She reached for my jeans, unbuttoning them, unzipping them and sliding them down my legs. I stepped out of them. “I’ll dry your clothes for you, okay?” She said, taking the bundle of drenched material in her arms. I reached down to my ankles, slipping off my shoes and pulling my socks off as well, putting them on top of the pile. My boxer shorts were damp as well, but I opted to not mention that.

A few minutes later Julie walked back into the room carrying a large blanket. “I know you must be freezing,” she started, handing it to me. “And I don’t have anything for you to change into.” I nodded, wrapping the blanket around my body.

“Thank you,” I replied, hoping the blanket would help in replenishing my body warmth.

“So, Nick,” she said softly, taking a seat on the overstuffed beige couch. “Why did you walk all that way in the pouring rain?”

I slowly made my way towards the couch, taking a seat beside her. “Just wanted to talk,” I managed to squeak out.

“About what?” She asked, semi-skeptically. “Julie,” I mumbled, feeling a rush of tears coming on. “Why didn’t you ever say it?”

“Say what?”

I felt the hot tears burning my eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. “’I love you’... You-you never said it. Not even once,” I blinked momentarily, tears sliding gently down my cheeks. “Did I do something wrong? Why don’t you love me back?”

I stared up at her, my eyes meeting hers. “Nick,” she soothingly said, her hand delicately reaching up to wipe away my tears, her face showing concern. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.”

“Then why don’t you love me?”

“I do love you, Nick. So very much it’s killing me and -”

“If you love me so much then why the hell didn’t you ever tell me?!” I angrily spat, my face growing flush. The pain and hurt inside was making itself well known now.

“Nick, you don’t understand,” she started. “I never said it because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“What?” I asked, my face showing my confusion. “Didn’t it occur to you that not saying it would hurt?”

"Saying it would make it real. If I said ‘I love you’ it would be real...and it all seemed like a dream. You were so perfect, Nick,” she said, her own tears becoming evident. “I love you so much I hoped everyday that it was a dream, that I would wake up and it would all be a dream.”

“I don’t understand...”

Her hand reached for mine, gently she stroked it, staring at it as she spoke. “If it were a dream, your heart could never be broken. I would never be able to break your heart. I would wake up before the opportunity arose.”

“I still don’t understand, Julie.”

“I’m dying, Nick.”

“What?” I asked. Disbelief overtook my mind. Dying?

“I thought that if I never said it, you wouldn’t love me and you wouldn’t get hurt when I broke up with you. Because,” she sighed. “I loved you so much that I didn’t want you to waste your time with someone looking death in its eyes.”

“You’re not dying though.”

Her eyes finally met mine and I noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I am. I need a new heart. I have for a while now. That day when I met you, I’d made a promise with myself that very morning that I wasn’t going to get involved with anyone. I wouldn’t date until I had a heart transplant. And then I met you. You were so cute, so funny, so full of life. I tried to act disinterested in you, hoping maybe you would become disinterested yourself. That night I cried because I was so scared. I was alone, and I was going to die. The next morning when you showed up, I tried to forget my promise to myself, and I just...I fell in love with you, Nick.”

I didn’t say anything. I sat there, silently listening to her, sobbing. My chest constricted, my body grew cold.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve never let it happen. I should’ve never asked you to stay, never agreed to go on a date with you... But you were,” she paused, sighing, “you are everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re perfect. The prince charming I’ve always wanted, my night in shining armor,” she wavered a smile but it turned back into a frown just as quickly as it emerged. “I’m so sorry, Nick.”

A few moments passed; I remained quiet. The words seemed to take a moment to sink in. And when they did it was like a stab in my heart. The pain, the agony, the hurt overtook my body and I began to sob again. Persistent tears gushed down my cheeks in an unstoppable force. Without realizing it, I wrapped my arms around her as she cried, and her arms wrapped around me. We cried together for so long. It seemed like hours, when it probably was only a few minutes. My mind continued to reel. And although I shouldn’t have, I understood Julie’s reasoning. I forgave her for never returning my love in a verbal fashion. She was dying and it was then that I completely realized that my time with her was limited. I understood why she took the time to live - to walk in the rain, to stare at the stars, to visit sick children. She didn’t know when her last day was and instead of fixating on that, she was concerned with living, with loving, with not hurting me.

“I love you, Nick,” I heard her whisper ever-so-faintly into my ear. My heart flooded with joy upon hearing her soothing voice utter this simplistic, overly used sentiment.

I pressed my lips against her cheek, kissing her. “I love you too, Julie.”