What is a "filk" song?

In its simplest description, it is a song with original lyrics written to an already established melody for an old or traditional song.  Frequently, filk songs tend to be humorous or genre-related.  The Society for Creative Anachronisms boasts many filk songs chorused around a bardic circle at night.  Most science fiction conventions have a room of filkers (filk song singers) happily singing new lyrics to old melodies.  

The idea of writing new lyrics to old music is certainly not limited to this century.  It is a common practice in the Celtic countries where you will find several sets of lyrics to the same tune.  Often the Irish and Scottish have the same melodies and totally different words.  For instance, "Loch Lomond" in Scotland has the same melody as "Red Is The Rose" in Ireland.  "Rising of the Moon" and "Wearing of the Green" are the same.  A more contemporary example is "Love Me Tender" which is the same music as "Aura Lee," an old Irish song.

I'm putting up a few of my favorite filks from my pen.  I'd like this to be an open area for fun filk.  If you'd like to contribute, e-mail me and we'll talk.

Highlander Filk

Highlander Filk
The Writers' Filk
The Methos Ep
Drunken Scotsman

Highlander Limericks



























(Cassandra was a nice enough witch until she wanted the ROG's head.  Now she is *not* safe.)

Killing Cassandra
(Tune: Waltzing Matilda)
By Lillian Wolfe (with tongue firmly in cheek)

Once a fan fic writer sat by her TV set,
Watching Immortals, one—two—three,
And she raged as Cassandra tried to kill her favorite one,
I’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you.

Killing Cassandra, killing Cassandra,
I’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you,
(Repeat the third line of the verse)
I’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you.

In front of her keyboard, inspired now, this writer sat,
Pounding out words, both mean and cruel,
And she hummed as the scene grew upon the little screen,
I’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you.

Chorus: (Remember to change the third line)

She plotted, she planned, put a sword in the hero’s hand,
Let Mac kill the witch said she with glee,
When the dirty deed was done, Methos was the righteous one,
I’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you.


Smugly she posted, put the tale out on the ‘net,
Opened up other tomes, one-two-three,
Eyes spreading wide, she giggled in shocked surprise,
They were all killing Cassandra with glee.

Killing Cassandra, killing Cassandra,
We’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you,
Eyes spreading wide, she giggled in shocked surprise,
We’ll come a-killing Cassandra for you.

A nice Mac parody... The Clan MacLeod is from the Isles of Scotland and the Isle of Skye has their share of MacLeods.

Duncan, Where's Your Trewsers?

(Tune: "Donald, Where's Your Trewsers?")
By Lillian Wolfe and Tiffany

He's just come down from the Isle of Skye,
He's a nice big mon and not so shy,
Pretty lasses gape as he goes by,
Sayin' "Duncan, where's your trewsers?"
Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,
Through the streets in his kilt he goes
Immortal lassies say, "Hello--
Duncan, where's your trewsers?"

Well, he went down to Glasgow Town
Thought he was the only Immortal around,
Till a comely lass came to hunt him doon,
Sayin', "Duncan, where's your trewsers?"

Now he went to a fancy ball
And the lassies loved him, one and all,
So Duncan stood up straight and tall,
'Cause he hadn't worn his trewsers.

He doesn't wear the kilt today,
It's trewsers when he goes out to play,
'Cause Methos hid the kilt away,
Sayin', MacLeod, put on some pants!"
Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,
Amanda giggled at the kilt and so,
Lassies now smile and say, "Hello--
Duncan, you're wearing trewsers."




The Writer's Filk
By Tiffany
Driven to the edge of insanity as she wrote, Tiffany found herself humming this filk to the tune of "Rawhide!
"Typing, typing, typing....
Through days and nights and weather
It seems like forever,
Wishing this fic was posting next!
Get that book! Grab a sword!
Get a sword! Grab the lube! Yah!
Write it up, raw text!

   The Great Immortal Byron

By Lillian Wolfe
(with tongue *stuck* in cheek)

Tune: God Bless the Bastard King of England

Chorus: He was charming and witty and full of kinks,
And he attracted women with just a wink,
How Methos loved the great Immortal Byron.

Now Byron had a talent for lyrical song,
He had music to play all night long,
But he needs a wee fix to help him along,
T’was the downfall of the Great Immortal Byron.

T’was his misfortune to meet Duncan MacLeod,
Should have stayed away from the Scot’s crowd,
Especially the lad Joe held up so proud,
A tragic mistake for the Great Immortal Byron.

In times past Methos loved Byron, it’s true,
And maybe he even trained the poet, too,
But loyal he was to Mac, that’s who,
His pleas couldn’t save the Great Immortal Byron.

So in memory lives dear Byron the dead,
And Methos alone remembers words he said,
The genius of Byron saddens his heart instead,
Since MacLeod beheaded the Great Immortal Byron.

Limericks, anyone?

The Immortal Methos stopped by to see Joe,
Although technically that wasn’t so,
It was his computer he sought,
With the lid open he was caught
And Joe unhappily told him to go.

Cassandra, the witch, she was nasty,
Wanted to turn Methos into a pasty,
Because killing was his vice
And Kronos wouldn’t play nice,
Revenge was all that drove poor Cassie.

Deciding the Watchers need a ditty of their own, I wrote this one just before Access Con...

The Watcher Tale
By Lillian Wolfe

(Melody: The Marvelous Toy)

When I was just a shy young lass,
Naive as I could be,
An older man approached me then,
And said a Watcher I should be.

A watcher said I, now what is that?
It sounds rude if you ask me,
But he replied, we watch special guys,
And they’re really something to see.

Chorus: They go whack when they meet,
And pop goes the head,
And lightning bolts start too,
Immortals are what they’re called,
And I’ll assign one just to you.

So he gave me a guy who couldn’t die,
Unless someone popped his top,
So I took notes in my little book
And wondered if he could be stopped?

Until one day he met MacLeod,
And it was time to bid adieu,
For the singing sword whizzed around,
And chopped him right in two!

They went whack when they met,
And pop went the head,
An lighting bolts struck too,
Immortals are what they’re called
And I’ll get me a new one soon.








Although my song "Killing Cassandra" has met with some contoversy for content, this little gem from my evil twin has been overlooked.   We'd like to point out again, that these are done in fun and don't mean any disrespect to anyone.  For cryin' out loud, it's TV show!

Blue Faced Horseman
By RuaMor

(Melody: Yellow Rose of Texas)

There’s a blue-faced horseman in the desert,
That I just gotta see,
No one else blows my hair back,
Not half as much as he,
He raided my village for pleasure
And took me in captivity,
But the blue-faced horseman of the desert
Is just the guy for me.

He’s the sexiest of the horsemen,
Just look, I swear it’s true,
His eyes are bright like emeralds
And sparkle with golden hue,
Not Kronos, Silas or Caspian,
Take my breath away in style,
Only the blue-faced horseman of the desert
Drives me absolutely wild.

They came with swords a-waving,
Killing all they saw with joy,
But Methos took me back with him
To be his special toy,
It’s true, he killed me a few times
Just to get his point across,
But the blue-faced horseman of the desert
Has now become my boss.


With higher status in the camp now,
I served my blue-faced lord,
I brought fresh fruit to please him
And kept him from getting bored,
But then my lord betrayed me,
Let Kronos have his way,
And the blue-faced horseman of the desert
Will someday have to pay.


*"blue-faced horseman" can be sung "blue-faced love god"

From Tiffany comes this incredibly charming filk to the tune of "The Brady Bunch."

The Methos Ep

By Tiffany

It’s the story of a shy young Watcher
who was hiding out in dark research archives.
That he was an Immortal was a secret:
The oldest one alive.

It’s the story of a guy named Duncan
who was running ‘round with problems of his own.
A bad man was killing all his friends off,
and he felt all alone.

Then Joe called and sent Duncan to this Watcher,
and Mac knew at once just who he must have been.
Everyone was hunting for the legend,
but Methos just let Duncan walk right in.

He tossed a beer, fans gave a cheer,
and Mac knew he’d just found Methos here.

It’s the story of a bad Immortal.
Kalas wanted to kill Mac and all his friends.
He wanted Methos’ head and all his power
as a means to that end.

It’s the story of a famous friendship
that began when Methos found Mac all alone.
At a bridge he tried to make Mac kill him,
"There can be only one."

But Mac had promised to protect the Old Guy,
to take his head just wasn’t in that plan.
Then because of Methos, Kalas was arrested
and taken off to prison in a van.

Mac heard Methos say: "Fight another day,"
and we knew he’d be back again someday.
alternate end:
And Methos said, "Mac keep your head,
"There’s no more guest spots if you wind up dead."

What Do You Do With A Drunken Scotsman?
by Tiffany

(Make a guess on the melody.)

What do you do with a drunken Scotsman,
What do you do with a drunken Scotsman,
What do you do with a drunken Scotsman
Ear-lye in the morning?

Wey-hey and up he rises,
Wey-hey and up he rises,
Wey-hey and up he rises
Ear-lye in the morning!

Make Amanda cook him breakfast,
Ear-lye in the morning!


"Amanda, please don’t make me eat that,
So ear-lye in the morning!"

Wey-hey and up it rises,
Wey-hey and up it rises,
Wey-hey and up it rises
Ear-lye in the morning!

See him running to the bathroom,
Ear-lye in the morning!


Chasing Amanda with a sharp katana,
Ear-lye in the morning!

Wey-hey she’s off and running,
Ear-lye in the morning!

Let him cook his own damn breakfast!
Ear-lye in the morning!

So that’s what you do with a drunken Scotsman,
Ear-lye in the morning!


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