Confessions of a Lingerie Queen

I am a mature transvestite who lives in Ontario, Canada. I have been dressing in women's lingerie off and on for almost 50 years and enjoy it as much today as I did the very first time. I am married and my wife does not know, so the opportunities for me to indulge in my favourite pastime are somewhat limited but I do take every opportunity I have, to do so. Because of this I am more a lingerie queen than a real transvestite because it is much easier to lounge around in bra, panties, garter belt, stockings, panties and heels for a few hours theb to get fully dressed. I am not at all ashamed that I am a transvestite and have been out in public a few times, admitted my passion to the few friends who I was sure could handle it and of course have told literally thousands of strangers. The transvestite in me is however in another story. As is the whole question of sex. This is a bio about my love for wearing lingerie.

We can literally divide the story to three parts: The Beginning Years, the Interregnum Years and the Interesting Years

The Beginning Years

When it this all start, well like most of us with a similar background it began at puperty. Again, like most of us (men into lingerie, CDs,TVs) etc I started with my mothers lingerie when I was 12. The fascination probably started at about age 10 when I would see, or get a chance to touch my mother's panties and I can still remember the first day, at age 12 and being alone in the house, and taking a black pair of panties out of the drawer and trying them on. I had never experienced anything so exciting in my young life. The next time a few weeks later it was bra and panties and the time after that the garter belt and stocking in the drawer became part of the ensemble. After that I took very opportunity to be alone in the house and dress although with three brothers and sisters it was quite difficult. About one year after I started my parents went away for a winter holiday and left us with a baby sitter. Four times over the two weeks I attended my grade 7 classes with my basis ensemble under my clothes. Afraid to death that I would be caught but unable to stop. I also took every opportunity to baby-sit down the street for a couple who had a 4 years old and as he was always asleep when I arrived, once they left I would immediately get into the lady's underwear drawer. I also expanded my interest trying on girdles, in style at the time, night gowns, and there was pink baby doll top and panty set, that I remember to this day

Then one summer when I was 16 the family went to the lake for a month and I stayed alone in the house because I had a job. It was a glorious summer. I would come home every evening, have a shower and immediately dress in lingerie for the evening. As almost all my friends were away for the summer I had every Monday too Friday night to myself. I would spend the evening in lingerie and then sleep in a night-gown. It was also the summer that I went past lingerie and dressed fully in skirts, blouses, dresses, heels and experimented with make-up and like I said is spent every evening dressed as a woman and have never looked back.

For the next few years everything remained the same. I would dress up whenever I could get a chance. When at University, I even tried to arrange to have no or just one class on Wednesday, the day my mother was not at home. There were also a few more instances of being home alone for longer periods of time as well as a few other chances including the time I almost got caught wearing the bra and panties of my best friend's sister. However, like I said with brothers and sisters in the house, I spend more time thinking about it then doing it.

The Interregnum Years

Then University finished, I found a job and moved out and away from my source of lingerie. I suppose that during the next 10 years I had 3 or 4 opportunities to dress. I always lived it situations that was not conducive to it. Either living with friends, having room mates, living in very small towns. So I found substitutes. The first was the catalogues especially Sears (this was pre-Victoria Secret). Spent literally hours and hours looking at the lingerie section and the same with the advertisements that came with the newspapers. After that were the skin magazines. Porno was not yet widely available but if you looked hard enough you could find TV magazines. They cost a fortune but beggars could not be choosers. There were also magazines with the women dressed in lingerie, unlike Playboy. that were exciting. There was the magazine Screw from New York, which had a section called TV Guide, with pictures of TVs/TSs, selling their wares. There was the lingerie departments in department stores which I would walk buy (not through) every time I had a chance. Finally here were also glimpses of this shadowy world in the straight media that kept the embers burning.

Then I got married and the situation got worse. The magazines went and I was left with the catalogues and ads. On the upside I could now walk THROUGH the lingerie department (with my wife). She asked me more than once why I didn't mind while most men hung around outside.

Overall during this period while I did not dress, I never thought things about wearing lingerie and was essentially waiting for the right opportunity.

The Interesting Years

And the right opportunity(s) came along. As I approached 50 the desires to get into lingerie were becoming stronger than they had ever been. I sent more time with the catalogues planning how I could get some lingerie, I visited a couple of TV clubs in NYC, dressing began to dominate my thoughts. Then it all came together in 1994/95. We moved back home after being away for some time, my wife began to travel a great deal, I had sex with a man for the first time and went onto the Internet. There I discovered that there were literally 10s of 100s like me. Over the course of the next three years, I established an identity introduced myself as a transvestite to 1000s people on the Internet and joined all sorts chat and discussion groups. Like other TV/CDs my age the Internet brought so much relief and satisfaction to those of us who had had to keep our secret to ourselves for so may years. I paid a number of visits to Wildside the store for transvestites in Toronto, started shopping for lingerie, shoes etc. in regular stores and meeting with men who were also interested in wearing with lingerie or appreciated men in it. I dressed in lingerie every chance I get. I also had two weekends in NYC where I went out fully dressed as a woman at the so friendly TV club, Karolyns.

My purchases of lingerie were however limited by the hiding spaces I could find in the house but then for career reasons my wife and I lived in separate places for 3 years. Although the small town I lived in did not give me the chance to go out, it did give me the chance to wear lingerie as much as I wanted and to amass a wardrobe. Every time I went to the city I would buy a little more. So much so that in 2000 I posted the following message on one of my discussion groups: alt.support crossdressing

" A couple of weeks ago, I had visitors so had to pack my "special closet" away. When I started to put it back, I counted:

I have: 28 pairs of panties, 13 bras, 4 garterbelts, 3 slips, 2 waist cinchers, 1 bustier, 9 pairs of shoes, 6 wigs (cheap ones mind you), three sets of breast forms (home made ones mind you), 5 night gowns, 6 baby doll tops, 11 skirts, 13 tops, 1 two piece pant outfit, 21 dresses and one pair of women's shorts. This is augmented by a box full of makeup.

Some stats: I have more panties then men's underwear, I have more dresses then suits and jackets, I have 10 different things to sleep for a woman, none for a man. I have more women's shoes then men's.

LOL, I just may be a transvestite"

These were my glory years, free to buy as much lingerie as I wanted and to wear it as much as I wanted. All the pictures on this Page were taken during this time period. However all good things must come to an end. The job came to an end and I moved back home. Sadly most of the wardrobe had to go because of lack of space.

So that is where I am today. I have 4 sets of lingerie hidden away that I wear as much as I can. I spend a lot of time on Yahoo, talking with people like me. I have a friend who I visit occasionally and who loves to see me in bra, panties, garter belt, stocking and heels. I have made contact with many mature men like myself and we try to meet but again many are like me, married, and the logistics of getting together mostly get in the way. My dream is about starting a lingerie club for mature men,. You can read about that in another section.

I love to correspond with the like minded, so if you are interested I would be so happy to hear from you. You can usually find me on Yahoo as Lingeriequeen56 and in the Chat Group "Ontario Men in Lingerie".

LQ