Shopping for the Inhibited

This little piece is geared towards those individuals, usually attached, who have difficulty for one reason or another acquiring lingerie. It can be because they would be embarrased to shop for themselves, logistics problems at home, worried about sizes etc. If you have no difficulty walking into LaSenza to ordering what you want or can use mail order without a problem then you don't have to read any futher. If money is no object well you don't have a problem. However if you would like to buy some lingerie, don't want to spend a lot of money, but don't know how to go about it then read on!!! This explanation will mostly apply to lingerie and shoes but the principles aply to other clothing as well. The information is also geared to Ontario (Toronto and Ottawa and what is in between) but again the principles apply elsewhere.

First rule is if you don't want to get into a long discussion with a female sales clerk or spend money of something that doesn't fit, then know your sizes.. Most of on-line boutiques have charts where you can calculate it. The best I have seen is http://www.bluefly.com/ which even has a chart that converts mens's sizes to womens sizes. Go to the help section. Janet's Closet http://www.janetscloset.com/ is good for bra sizes. Go to Lingerie and then Bra and Cup size. Sears of course is an old dependable. The rule of thumb for shoes is 2 sizes larger than your men's size.

However even with the charts it is sometimes difficult to get it exact especially bra sizes etc. Before you spend $20 on a bra or $50 on a dress buy one cheap one and try it. Using one of the methods below, get a bra on sale for $5 or dresses and shoes at a place like Value Village where you pay less than $5. You will of spent very little money and you have verified that what you buy later will fit. Bras were never meant to fit men anywhere so if you are close it is ok. Especially if you are only going to wear it once a month. But try to make sure there is a little elastic in it.

So once you have your sizes, where do you go?

The easiest in mail order. However that takes for granted that you have a e-mail address that you can mail to. For us married guys that can be difficult. A private box will cost you more than $300 a year so it is not cheap way to buy a couple of pairs of panties. If you do have an address. there are many on-line boutiques that will sell to you, but keep in mind that most are American. There is of course Sears if you want somewhat plain and middle of the road and it not very expensive. Wildside in Toronto http://www.wildside.org which specializes in selling to TV/CDs has an online boutique, is not as expensive in other stores that specialize in TVs and is very discrete. Finally many, many people use E-Bay but that is beyond me.

The second easiest is, if you can get to Toronto, go to Wildside which is wonderful. Even if it is your first time and you are very shy, you will be relaxed after a few minutes. I bought most of my early stuff there and it was wonderful to be able to shop "for me". It is a little expensive but actually being able to try on something makes up for it.

There are in both Toronto and Ottawa stores that are considered TG friendly, For Ottawa see the Gender Mosaic Page http://www.oocities.org/WestHollywood/9630/ and in Toronto the Expressions page http://www.xpressions.org/ or the T-Girl Magazine page http://www.transgression.com/ These places will be understanding but generally you will be admitting that you are a TV/CD.

Then there are the lingerie stores i.e. La Senza, La Vie en Rose; the new discount lingerie stores and; the lingerie sections in department stores. They tend to be a little expensive, except the department stores. You will probably have to deal with clerks, althought if you know the sizes and you are shopping for a gift then they will be helpful. The two prime times for CD to shop anonimously is between Dec.10 and Christmas and Feb, 4 to Valentine Day, especially in the speciality stores. Every one takes it for granted that it is the lost male searching for a gift for his wife/girlfriend. Of all these I like La Vie en Rose. They have some sexy stuff.

There are a number of discount stores for shoes but the best and cheapest is Payless Shoes. They have large sizes and most run around $20. Since you won't be wearing them every day it really doesn't matter that they are cheap.

Then they are the discount stores, Zellers, Wallmart etc. These are my favourite. A large selection with very few clerks to ask if you need help. I go right when they open and if I am lucky, I get 20/30 minutes in the lingerie departments all by myself, to browse. I still find examining a pair of panties when two other women are looking at the same rack a bit intimating. And they are cheap, normally lost of stuff on sale between $5 and $15 dollars. I have bought 5 pairs of panties for $9.99. Shoes can be pretty good as well. Pick out you stuff and the only bad moment will be at the cash.

I have not talked about the deep discount stores, everything under $5 or the used clothes places like Value Mart becuase they do not normally carry lingerie. But they are great for clothes and sometimes shoes and normally no clerks to ask you questions. They are also very cheap.

On the store help. I find that almost all are very helpful. 75% take it for granted you are buying a gift and are anxious to help and the others even if they have questions will be professional. During my wild weekend in NYC, see my bio, when I was shopping for women's clothes in the discount stores on 20th, the sales girls asked if you are shopping for a friend or for yourself. I also suspect that many sales girls who have served me in the past knew exactly who the clothes were for but continued on being very pleasant. A girl in Payless once asked me in a very nice voice if the shoes were for me because I was buying size 11W, and when I was brave enough to say yes, her only response was "cool".

For us full figure girls (my bra size is 42B). Most of the lingerie stores carry very little little above a 38 bra and equivelent tops etc. (This has probably saved me 1000s of dollars). I have two favourities, Zellers which always has a section for large sizes and are cheap (I love the Delta Burke Collection) and Elle Additionalle Warehouse (not the Elle Additionalle in shopping centres, they are much more expensive) especially during sales in spring and fall. Penningtons is also good as well but not as good for lingerie as for clothes.

So that is about it. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me. And if you are really in the closet and live in Eastern Ontario, well, I will do the shopping for you. Not becuase I want to be so helpful, or to make a little money, I just love to shop for lingerie.