Story of Lye
By Chi Chi
Once upon a time there lived a girl. She had pointy ears, and silver eyes, and bright firey hair that was red at the roots, went to orange, then was yellow at the tips. She was a demon, but not an evil one.... her name was Lye.
One day Lye was walking around, looking for something to do.. cuz she was very bored, so she walked along a dirt path, thinking to her self. "I've always enjoyed acting, I should go from city to city pretending to be someone else."
Of course Lye didn't know this was illegal! (con artist) so she went along. She arrived at the first village. A young handsome man was standing at the gate. He looked up at her. Lye ran into his arms, and started crying, bawling, wailing, I mean his
shirt was soaked.
"Oh kind sir," she said is a gay accent, "please save me from the monster!"
"Why the hell should I?" the guy replied.
Lye noticed that her plan wasn't working, so she cried "Screw you!" and burned the whole village down with her demon magic.
Then lye went to he next city. Here she was all like, 'I 'm a goddess from heaven, sent to punish you'. No one believed her again, so she killed them all..
On to the next village. Here she pretended to be a doctor, and she healed all the sick people. Then, they were all like 'oh wonderful doctor, you saved
our lives, live with us forever!' but she thought they were too dull, so she killed them...(at least she tried to). But, what she didn't know, was that at the time, a young boy named Goten, and his friend Trunks, were visiting friends in that village. They didn't like how Lye was trying to hurt their
friends, so they tried to fight her.
Their Kamehameha's didn't work, and neither did physical combat. You see, Lye was a mistress of martial arts, and she was stronger than anyone in the land. She also had her demon magic, and when she got bored, she just used it to disappear. Immediately Goten and trunks went to tell their parents.
"Mom, some witch tried too kill our friends!" Trunks cried to Bulma.
"Shut up you little saiyan brat!" Bulma said. "I'm building a time machine, go tell your father!"
"But mom, he's an ass..."
"I know, I know,"
Trunks realized this wasn't going anywhere, so he went to tell his dad. But, his dad was just working out, and blasted them out of the room, so they went to Goten's place.
When they got there, Chi Chi was yelling at Gohan for coming over when she was busy. "Go home to your bitch wife!"
"Don't say that about Videl, mom!" Gohan said, wondering why his mom was such a bag, which was a stupid thing to do.
"Just go!!" Chi chi shouted, and then she broke down crying...
"What the hell?" Goten asked as he walked in. "What's going on?"
"PMS" Gohan said, and he flew his ugly butt out of the scene.
"Mom, wassup?" Goten asked, as Trunks helped himself to food.
"Oh it's nothing," Chi Chi replied, "I just miss your father so much, and I can't help being mad at your brother for going off to marry that wretch, and leaving me here all alone."
Goten looked at her. "I live here too you know." he said rudely.
"Yeah.. but you're always off with your gay lover."
Trunks recognized his nickname, and stuck his purple head out of the fridge. He walked over to Chi Chi with his hands full of food.
"So what is it you wanted to tell me?" Chi Chi asked.
"Well there's some psycho demon terrorizing the earth, and we can't stop her."
"Why didn't you turn super saiyan or fuse or something?"
Trunks just stared at her. "We don't want to hurt a girl," he replied finally.
Chi chi burst out laughing. "You to faggots? You're gay.. why don't you wanna hurt a girl?"
They both shrugged, they couldn't figure it out either. "Well I hate too say it.. but I bet Piccolo and Gohan can help go get them... didn't you ask Vegeta?"
"He just blasted us!" trunks replied.
"Well try and tell him again.. this sounds like a challenge worthy of that arrogant self centered prince."
Trunks and Goten nodded. Trunks went to find his dad, and Goten went to get his bro and Mr. Piccolo.
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When Goten arrived at Gohan's place, he and Videl were talking, and holding hands.. (they looked like john and stacey).
"Hey ugly brother," goten said with a smile. Gohan looked at him, he was used to people calling him ugly by now.
"Wassup Stinky?" he asked, using his loving nickname for his brother.
"Wanna help us kill this psycho demon chic?"
"Would your dad want you to kill her?" Videl asked in a concerned voice.
"Of course not!" replied Gohan, "But he's dead, what's he gonna do?"
"Come back to life" Videl repeated, "and he'll be pretty pissed."
"Okay," replied Gohan, "we'll convert her, that's what happens to every bad guy we meet anyway."
"We have to get that stupid Namek too." Goten added.
Gohan filled with anger, and blasted his little brother halfway across the yard.... for insulting Mr. Piccolo. Gohan then flew off to find his beloved Namek mentor, and Goten lingered after him.
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"Hey dad?" Trunks said, approaching his father carefully.
"What do you want, you brat?" Vegeta asked.
"Can you please help us kill this chic who's being a menace to south central
while drinking her juice in the hood?"
"What?!" vegeta cried.
"Never mind.. we just need your help to kill a demon."
"No." he said sternly, and flew off.. but Trunks wasn't giving up, he went to his little sister (who wasn't supposed to be born yet, but Chantal want's her in the story).
"Hey Bra?"
"What do you want?" she asked.
"I need you to ask dad to do something for me."
"Why should I?" Bra asked.
"Cuz you're my sister..."
"Yeah? And?"
"Common.. I'll give you anything!!"
Bra sat and thought for a while... "Play dress up with me!" she demanded. Trunks had no better ideas, so when Gohan, Goten and Piccolo arrived, Trunks was dressed in a pink sun dress, with lipstick on and bows in his hair, drinking water from a tea cup, and talking in a high pitched voice. His back
was turned to his friends, and Bra ignored them, so he continued playing.
"So Bra.. do you think could do my nails too?" he asked.
Bra giggled. Trunks just looked at her, then Gohan coughed behind him!
"Holy shit!" Trunks screamed, and flew off as fast as he possible could, to who knows where. Everyone burst out laughing.
As soon as they calmed down, Goten approached Bra. "So did you ask your dad?" he asked.
"Ask daddy what?"
"If will help us fight the demon chic." Goten replied.
"Oh yeah!" bra squeeled ditsyly and skipped off to the gravity machine. She rapped on the door lightly. "Ddaaaaaaaaaaddddddy!" she sang.
Immidiatly Vegeta's head popped out of the door. He smiled at the sight of his daughter. "Daddy.. you have to help Trunks' friends fight the demon." she ordered,
looking up at him with her big blue eyes batting her eyelashes.
Vegeta nodded with a smile. "Then we can go shopping!" Bra beemed.
"Of course princess!" Vegeta picked up his daughter, and spun her around. The others (Gohan, Goten and Piccolo) looked at him. He scowled... "Let's get this oover with." They flew off towards the village.
While they were flying, Piccolo flew off from the others to examine a strange box down on the land. He had no time to open it, so he grabbed it and continued flying. When they arrived, Lye was sleeping under a tree.
Piccolo opened the box. Inside were five wierd looking mushrooms. He bent over to smell them, shrugged, and then ate them, despite the fact that Nameks never eat.. and only drink water, he still ate them.
Immiditly, Vegeta, eager to shop with his precious little daughter, went up to Lye and kicked her in the stomach.
"What the hell?!" Lye screamed as she jumped to her feet. She looked at Vegeta.. "Hey hot stuff," her tone changed suddenly. "What was that for?" she asked Vegeta, pacing around him.
"You tried to kill our friends!" Goten said stepping foreward.
"Shut up you little pest!" Lye pointed at Goten, and a nearby tree engulfed him with branches and stuff. A few leaves covered his mouth so he couldn't talk anymore.
"Whoa!" Gohan shouted. Piccolo was laughing histaricaly.
"Whats with you piccolo?" he asked, staring at the Namek. Piccolo stopped laughing for a second...
"I just heard you through my nose!" he laughed again. "NOSE DRUMS!" and he kept laughing.
Gohan shrugged, and charged at Lye. Each time he tried to punch, she dodged effortlessly, all the time blowing
kisses, and winking at Vegeta. Eventually she got bored, and knocked Gohan out. He was down for the count.
Lye strutted up to Vegeta. "So what do ya say sexy? You gonna take a shot at me too?" She leaned in real close and batted her eyelashes at Vegeta. He blushed. Just then Mr. Popo flew in on his magic carpet.
"Blast her Vegeta.. remember she's evil!"
"Oh yeah!" Vegeata chuckled, still blushing.
"Damn you!" Lye shouted at him, just as he shot a bing bang at her. She instantly had a hole right through her stomach. "Oooh!" She down looked at the blood.
"Cya" Vegeta waved. "I gotta date!" and he flew off.
Goten tired to shout.. but he couldn't speak. Lye was wounded , but not yet dead, and it looked like there was no one there that could help stop her. Lye took a step towards him, preparing to kill him.
"Not so fast!" Chi chi called from behind. Lye turned and laughed at the thought of this woman trying to defeat her. "You leave my kids alone!!! she shouted.
"And who's gonna stop me?" Lye asked.
"I am!" Chi chi replied, and she powered up.
Lye laughed, and blasted a shot at Gohan. Chi chi got really angry, and turned super saiyan 9, as everyone knows, Chi chi was a saiyain now too. She ran forward and blocked the blast from her son, not getting a single scratch. Then, she kicked Lye's ass.. and left her for dead. She picked up Gohan, released Goten, and flew home. (after she changed back to
a regular person of course).
Goten was amazed, and later decided it was all just a
dream. Mr. Piccalo later ate a cat, and then stripped for some old folks in the park. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The End.
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