"No,"
Mayan protested, laughing. "I don't have time for this, Anla'Shok.
I am meeting your boss for lunch and you wouldn't want me
to be late now, would you?"
But
her protests were only half-hearted. And he stopped them altogether
by kissing her.
An
hour later than she had planned, she was escorted into the
residence of the President of the Interstellar Alliance and
Entil'Zha of the Rangers. Mayan watched her escort leave,
then turned to the slight woman coming toward her.
"That
one is new to the house guards, isn't he?" Mayan asked. "I
don't remember seeing him before."
Delenn
grinned. "Yes, I agree. He is pleasing to look at."
Mayan
widened her eyes in mock horror. "And you a properly mated
female!"
"Mayan,
I am very happily mated, but I am not dead! I can still appreciate
a sturdy body and a pleasing face." Both women laughed. "Come,"
Delenn said, linking her arm in Mayan's, "lunch is on the
table."
"I'm
sorry I'm so late," Mayan started to explain, but Delenn interrupted.
"I
know why you are late. I'm surprised you came at all." Delenn
smiled. "If John returned unexpectedly after a long absence,
I would cancel all my appointments for the day."
"How
did you know? Jason arrived before dawn."
"Mayan,
he is a competent and conscientious Ranger. He turned in his
report before he went off duty. In fact, I have been studying
it while waiting for you."
"Oh."
Mayan looked a little crestfallen. "I thought he came directly
to me."
"He
did. He sent his report by courier. Sit now and eat. I have
all afternoon free to spend with you. That doesn't happen
very often."
Mayan
smiled. "I know. That's why I didn't cancel. Even though I
had every incentive. But what about the little one? Won't
he be waking from his nap soon?"
"I
think the human is having a very deleterious effect on you.
You are becoming most maternal." Delenn could not keep her
expression stern. "You never even knew fifteen month old babies
needed naps. David awoke over an hour ago. John took him to
the temple to play in the park there. It's one of the few
places he can go without attracting a mob. Don't look so forlorn.
They will return before you leave. And you can give your nephew
the bath he will surely need."
"Then
you will have to loan me something to wear afterward. The
last time I bathed your son, I ended up with most of the water
on me." Both women laughed.
"I
did warn you," Delenn reminded her. "David has picked up his
father's habits. Last week he insisted on taking his socks
into the bath to wash them 'like daddy.' Daddy, of course,
thought it was very funny."
Mayan
laughed, and after a moment, Delenn did too. "So, Sheridan
is still leaving wet socks around," Mayan said.
"Only
in his bathroom," Delenn replied acerbically. "I had a hard
enough time explaining to the housekeeping staff. They thought
John was dissatisfied with their services and took the socks
as a personal affront. I finally persuaded them it was a human
quirk, incomprehensible to any other race. John still wonders
why the youngest one giggles whenever he is around. But never
mind my husband's undergarments. Finish your lunch, and then
we'll walk in the garden and talk."
While
they ate, Mayan told Delenn of Kendrick's homecoming. "How
long will he be home this time? He hasn't said anything to
me yet."
"He
has told you about his new posting?" When Mayan nodded, Delenn
continued. "His new ship is still undergoing modifications.
I do not expect it to be ready for at least another month."
Mayan brightened visibly.
Delenn
looked at her thoughtfully. "Mayan, I could extend Kendrick's
tenure at the training school. He is an excellent instructor.
The other teachers like and respect him, and the students
adore him."
Mayan
grinned. "Especially the female ones." The grin vanished.
"As much as I would like that, I cannot ask it of you. He
is looking forward to his own ship, and he has more than earned
his captaincy."
"We
are all sorry to lose him as a teacher, but, as you say, he
certainly deserves his ship.
No
one can doubt that." Delenn pushed back her chair. "Leave
the dishes."
The
two women strolled along the meandering path that led to the
ornamental lake at the bottom of the garden. Delenn pointed
out the additions to the flower beds since Mayan was here
last. The new roses were thriving, as were the other Earth
species mingled with Minbari flowers and shrubs. The sun was
warm, but not unpleasant. The curved bench cut into the crystalline
boulder on the shore of the lake was cool, shaded by the overhang
of the boulder and the surrounding trees. Delenn sat and motioned
Mayan to join her.
"This
is one of our favorite spots," Delenn said, sighing and leaning
back against the cool, smooth rock. "John and I come here
often, especially in the evenings after David is asleep. The
moonlight on the water is beautiful." She smiled. "We even
made love here one night.
"Now
then," Delenn said, turning toward her friend, "Tell me what
you have been up to since I last saw you. I saw your latest
performance on vid. It was very good. I liked the new pieces,
especially the one on childhood. But then, your work is always
at its best when you are in love."
"I
am not in love," Mayan protested.
"Of
course you're not," Delenn said soothingly, but spoiled the
effect by grinning.
"Well,
perhaps I am, just a little," Mayan admitted.
Delenn
said nothing, she just continued to grin.
"All
right," Mayan conceded. "Maybe more than a little. But that
wasn't my intention.
"I
didn't even think the attraction would last long enough to
fall in love. And yet, it's been more than a year and we are
still together. And it is still as good as in the beginning."
She laughed suddenly. "What is it about human males that we
find so exciting?"
Delenn
started to laugh, but realized Mayan was serious. "You really
want to know, don't you?"
"Yes,"
Mayan said firmly.
Delenn
sighed. "You are doing it to me again, Mayan. You know I'm
not very good at these sorts of conversations." She smiled
faintly. "But I will try. I can speak only about the one human
male who excites me."
"Does
your husband know about him?"
"Mayan...,"
Delenn warned, eyes flashing.
"Okay,
okay. I'll be good. Promise." She pretended to duck as Delenn
aimed a mock blow at her head. "You are too easy to tease
anyway."
"I
know," Delenn sighed. "John says the same thing. And even
David is learning how to tease his mother. I shudder to think
what will happen when those two plot together." She shook
her head.
"In
school, you always said you wanted your life to be interesting,"
Mayan reminded her.
"So
I did. But you asked me a question." Delenn thought a moment.
"I
think what interested me most about John when we first met
was his curiosity, his eagerness to learn and experience all
he can. Right after he arrived to take command of Babylon
5, he determined to learn all he could about Vorlons. He told
me he wanted to learn to think like a Vorlon, so he was taking
lessons from Kosh. For all the time we worked with the Vorlons,
followed their lead, trusted them, none of our people ever
dreamed of learning to think like a Vorlon. But that was the
first thing this human captain wanted to do. Just being with
him, listening to him talk of his dreams, of what he wanted
to do was more exciting than anything else.
"You
should have seen him when he commanded a White Star for the
first time. He was like a child in a toyshop. Everything was
new and marvelous and all his to explore. He was that way
about that alien artifact that threatened the station right
after the Shadow War. John knew it was potentially dangerous
when he saw it, but his first reaction was that it was a gift
especially for him to explore and examine. I teased him about
it at the time."
Delenn
stopped talking. She smiled, as though remembering something.
Mayan looked at her. Before she could say anything, Delenn
laughed.
"You
know, John was the same way about me. He still is." She blushed,
but continued.
"He
always says that exploring my body is a lifetime occupation.
The first time he touched me, we had most of our clothes on.
I forgot what John called it. He said it was adolescent, but
fun sometimes."
"Petting,"
Mayan said.
"What?"
"I
said, it's called petting by humans. It's their equivalent
of adolescent stroking and rubbing." Mayan grinned. "Jason
and I compared notes one night."
"Oh.
Yes, that's what John called it. We had kissed for the first
time earlier that day...."
Mayan
interrupted again. "On the bridge of a White Star. Jason was
there. He says you severely tested the discipline of the crew
with that kiss."
Delenn
laughed. "I never thought of that. It seemed so natural at
the time. Afterward, John came to my quarters and we started
to explore each other a bit." She blushed again.
"I
don't know why I'm telling you this, Mayan." Delenn smiled.
"He was delighted with my reaction when he caressed my breasts
for the first time. He had learned something new, something
he didn't know about Minbari. I think he found that as pleasurable
as anything we were doing to each other."
"Then
he is a very strange male," Mayan declared laughing.
"Yes,"
Delenn agreed. "He is far from ordinary."
She
thought a moment. "Your Jason is curious about the world around
him too, as I recall. I think it is a very human trait. Even
people like Mr. Garibaldi and Captain Ivanova, who pretend
they only want to know what they need to do their jobs effectively
and no more, even those two cannot resist learning about something
new."
"That's
all very well, but I don't believe you fell in love with Sheridan
because of his mind," Mayan said dryly.
"There
were other reasons," Delenn allowed, straight faced. Then
she grinned broadly. "And for all his brilliance in battle
and skill in diplomacy, he can be very slow-witted sometimes.
I wanted him to make love to me almost from the moment we
met. And yet I had to make the first move. If I had left it
up to him....He told me, just before David was born, that
he was afraid I'd be offended if he made a pass, that's the
right term, I think. He thought I was so reserved and dignified
and self-assured, he was a bit in awe of me." She grinned
again. "He's learned better since."
"I
don't doubt it," Mayan said dryly.
Delenn
laughed. "I think what surprised him the most was the Shan
Fal. Not just the fact of it, that we would have such a ceremony,
although that certainly startled him. He didn't want to go
through with it when he saw the witnesses." She giggled. "I
had to persuade him and then practically drag him into my
bedroom.
"No,
what surprised him, shocked him even, was what I showed him
I could do. I think he thought of me, at least until that
night, as somehow virginal. He knew I had no human lovers
before him, but I do not think he believed me when I told
him I was not inexperienced." She shook her head.
"Humans
have such strange notions about sex," Mayan said.
Delenn
was silent for a while, wrapped in a memory of the second
time she shared her husband's bed. The night he gave her the
ring that wasn't what he wanted, but was the best he could
get in the Zocalo. She had been so afraid that morning, afraid
she had lost him, afraid he could never forgive her. And for
one heartbreaking moment, her fears seemed true. And then
all fear vanished and only love remained.
She
was afraid again when he told her the price of his return
from the Shadow World. That fear would never vanish. But as
long as the love endured, she could live with the fear.
Delenn
twisted the ring on her left hand. Then she stood up, smoothing
her dress. "Walk with me. I am tired of sitting."
The
two women walked in companionable silence half way round the
lake. Here and there on the lush, dark blue-green lawn, small
clusters of silvery blooms shone like whitecaps on the waves.
Three meters from the edge of the lake, the lawn abruptly
gave way to sparkling sand made from crushed crystal stone
quarried from the surrounding mountains. Delenn walked to
the water's edge. She picked up a flat, crystal shard and
hurled it side-armed into the lake. The stone skipped five
times before sinking.
"Very
impressive," Mayan said behind her. "You've been practicing.
Are you going to tell me what upset you back there?"
"Why
would you think I was upset?" Delenn asked without turning
around.
"Delenn...."
"It's
a good thing you aren't present at Alliance meetings." Delenn
laughed nervously. "You would give away all my secrets."
"I
wouldn't care enough to reveal anything. Are you planning
to stall for much longer?" Mayan walked over to her friend
and gently placed her hand on Delenn's arm. "Delenn, something
upset you. Tell me."
Delenn
continued to stare at the lake. "I was reminded of something
I try very hard to forget," she said, finally.
"I'm
sorry," Mayan said softly. "Do you want to talk?"
Delenn
turned around. "It's not your fault that the happiest day
of my life is inextricably bound with the worst blow of my
life. Talking about the Shan Fal reminded me."
She
led the way toward a small stand of trees that grew at the
edge of the lawn. The grey-green trunks rose straight and
smooth to a tangle of thorny branches that formed a canopy.
The lawn beneath was cool and dim after the brightness of
the lake. Delenn sank down cross-legged, her skirts pooling
around her. Mayan adjusted the knees of her trousers as she
sat opposite.
"This
place reminds me of our special hideaway at school, that empty
bell tower we used to go to whenever we wanted to be private
or to talk." Mayan waved a hand around. "There is the same
feeling here, of calm and quiet."
"Yes,"
Delenn said. "I often come here for the same reasons. I suppose
those things that remind us of our childhood are the most
comforting when we are disturbed." She smiled. "And the friends
of our childhood are the most comforting of all."
"I
have never thought of myself as comforting. I think I find
the idea rather frightening," Mayan said dryly. Then she patted
Delenn's knee. "Never mind. You want to talk. I will listen.
Just like in school."
"I've
never spoken about this to you before, "Delenn began. "I've
never really discussed it with John either. At first we were
too busy with the Shadow war, and then the war against Clark,
and our own civil strife. Then, we were just so happy and
grateful to be with each other and to be finally able to marry.
Now, whenever I try to talk to him about this, he tells me
we can discuss it when the time comes. I think that is his
way of coping. He can only live with the knowledge of his
shortened life span by ignoring it. Perhaps he is right. I
don't know anymore. Most of the time I can push the fear to
the back of my mind. Today doesn't seem to be one of those
times." She smiled ruefully. "I'm usually not this self-indulgent.
When the fear is bad, I usually try to immerse myself in work."
"Then
it is about time you shared your worries," Mayan told her
sternly. "Everyone, even you, needs to talk to someone occasionally.
You have kept this inside for too long." She shifted slightly
to make herself more comfortable. "We have all afternoon."
"I
do not know if I can explain so that you understand, but I
will try." Delenn paused. "You are right. I need to talk."
Delenn
took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "When John fell
at Z'Ha'Dum, I tried to join him. I planned to die in an assault
on the Shadow homeworld. After his return, after I learned
the true cost of our victory, John asked me to promise that
I would live on when he is gone. Mayan, I do not know if I
can keep that promise."
She
paused. "I thought, as the years passed, it would be easier
to accept that I would lose him. I was wrong. All I can see
is a desolation of years stretching before me until we are
united again."
"Delenn,"
Mayan protested, "You have family, friends, those who love
you...."
Delenn
interrupted. "It is not the same. You know that yourself."
"Yes,"
Mayan said quietly. "I know."
Delenn
touched her friend's hand. "Now it is I who am sorry for distressing
you."
After
a moment, she continued. "Ever since I realized the prophecies
applied to me, I prepared myself to do what I must."
For
the next few minutes, Delenn told of the years of study to
learn about the humans; of the battles with the Grey Council
to stay on course; of her rejection of the leadership of the
Council to remain on Babylon 5. She spoke also of her pain
when Dukhat was killed. And of the anguish and guilt that
overwhelmed her when she realized the horror her words of
vengeance unleashed.
"The
first time I saw John, he was my prisoner," Delenn said.
Mayan
was incredulous. "Surely you are joking."
Delenn
smiled. "No, it is true. He was captured and brought to the
Grey Council early in the war. I ordered his release. I never
knew until years later when John told me. It was while I was
carrying David. I was irritable and cranky and blaming John
for my condition, saying it was all his fault I was pregnant."
She laughed. "Which, of course, was true."
Mayan
grinned. "I should think so. David looks just like his father."
"Yes.
He does," Delenn said with pride. "John was usually very patient
with me during those times, but that time I think I tried
him too far. He said I could have spared myself if I hadn't
freed him during the war. When he realized I had no idea what
he meant, he explained. I was horrified. I came so close to
allowing his execution. John, of course, thought it was very
funny."
"So
do I," Mayan said laughing.
Delenn
glared at her.
"Never
mind," Mayan said.
"Hmmph!"
Delenn settled more comfortably. "I have never told John this
part. Not at the time, and not later. He does not know.
"When
I entered the Chrysalis, I was prepared for the transformation.
Or so I thought. It was not very hard to adjust to the physical
changes. Even the hair, once I learned how to care for it.
I even became resigned to the bleeding every month. After
all, I was still Delenn, still Minbari. That had not changed.
What I was not prepared for was the reaction of our people.
Oh, I expected hostility from the Council. They had opposed
my efforts all along. No, what I didn't expect was the reaction
of my friends, my colleagues, my clan. Some of my friends,
you and Rathenn especially, did not change. But you were on
Minbar and I was on Babylon 5. Lennier also did not change
because he worshiped me still. Most considered me outcast.
Some still do." She paused. "Of course, they don't dare say
that now because of my position and influence," she said dryly.
"At least not openly."
"You
underestimate yourself, as usual," Mayan replied. "There are
very few of our people who do not revere you."
Delenn
looked dubious. After a moment, she continued. "The human
reaction was also mixed. Some were indifferent, especially
the command staff. A great many were hostile, either because
they did not understand or because they thought my transformation
was an insult to their war dead. I did not fully realize this
until ISN interviewed me as part of a program on Babylon 5.
I nearly broke down then.
"There
was only one human who accepted me fully as I was; who saw
me not as a symbol or alien or a freak. The new commander
of the station, Sheridan Starkiller. From the beginning, he
eased my loneliness and helped quash my doubts. For that reason
alone, I could have loved him."
"You
are wrong," Mayan said. "Sheridan knew how isolated you felt."
"That
is impossible. And how would you know that?"
"When
I was on Babylon 5 before the birth of your son, your husband
often talked to me about you. Especially about how you always
keep your problems to yourself and never let him help you.
He knew all along what you were going through."
"I
have tried," Delenn said. "I am getting better at sharing
problems with John. No. Really."
She
rose and straightened her dress. "Come, let's walk a bit now.
The sun will soon shine off the lake directly into this bower."
Mayan
got up, brushing the grass off herself and followed Delenn
out to the shore of the lake. The sun glinted off the sand,
turning everything painfully bright. The two women walked
toward the house, taking a different path that would bring
them to the back of the compound. The way was shaded by shrubs
and trees of the same deep blue-green of the lawn. The hot
sun intensified the heady cloves and ginger fragrance of the
leaves.
The
path brought them to a sunken sand garden, sheltered from
wind and sun by the large west wing of the house on one side
and the foothills of the crystalline mountains on the other.
A swift, flowing stream issued from the hills, over a rocky
fall, to empty into the fountain at the center of the garden.
Benches were scattered here and there among the patterns of
sand and stone.
"When
did you add this garden?" Mayan asked. "The last time I was
here, this was a barren patch."
"The
fountain was installed only last week," Delenn replied. "It
is not quite finished. Some of the patterns are still incomplete."
Mayan
looked around. "It reminds me of the Zen garden on Babylon
5. Is that intentional?"
"Yes."
Delenn smiled. "It was John's idea. He wanted a reminder of
the place where we first got to know each other."
Delenn
sat on the nearest stone bench and motioned Mayan to join
her. "John and I would sometimes talk about the universe and
its plans for us when we met in the garden," Delenn said.
"John used to say the universe had a perverse sense of humor.
I usually protested he was wrong. Now, I'm not so sure."
Delenn
stared down at the patterns of sand for a moment. Without
lifting her head, she said, "My love for John and his for
me are the very core of our being. And every milestone of
that love is intertwined with death and darkness. Every joyous
memory also involves danger and destruction."
"You
can't mean that, surely," Mayan protested.
"Yes,
I can." Delenn looked at her. "The first time John held me
in his arms, it was to comfort me as I cried for the Markab
children. He held me until I could no longer cry. When he
let me go, I felt bereft. I think I realized I loved him then.
I never said anything, of course. How could I? He would have
been horrified that I could think of myself in such a situation.
"The
first night of watching him sleep occurred on a White Star,
on our way to what could easily have been a suicide mission.
I couldn't even tell him it was the first night. Neither of
us had yet admitted our feelings to the other. I held his
hand as he fell asleep.
He
was so tired, and so heartsick at having to fight against
his own people. But all I could do to ease him was to tell
the computer to play sounds of rain falling on a roof to help
him sleep. Every time it rains, I picture him lying there,
looking so young and innocent and trusting, grasping my hand
to keep from falling, he said.
"I
cannot save him from the final fall," she whispered, as she
looked down at her small, strong hands.
Mayan
covered her friend's hands with her own. "It is not your fault,
Delenn. You must know that."
Delenn
gently squeezed Mayan's hands, then withdrew her own. "I know,
Mayan. I know. John made that clear when he gave me this ring."
She
held out her left hand. "The pledge of his love and the token
of his death." She smiled sadly. "I told you, joy and anguish,
inseparable." She lowered her hand and fingered the ring as
she continued.
"The
night he gave me this ring, John asked for my promise to stay
alive after he dies. We were in bed, talking about the future,
about children. John was sure we would have a son. He said
it wouldn't be fair to the boy if both his parents died, one
after the other, even if David were already a man at the time.
And most likely, our son would be only half grown. I agreed.
How could I not?"
Delenn
paused. She folded her hands in her lap. "Later that night,
as I lay in his arms, John whispered that it would be easier
for him in the end if he could be sure I would live on. He
didn't know I was awake. I pretended I didn't hear him."
The
two women sat in silence, listening to the splash of the fountain.
The late afternoon sun spun rainbows in the water, rainbows
that were reflected against the white crystal stone of the
house. In the distance, a bird trilled. A faint answer came
from the hills.
Mayan
touched Delenn's shoulder. When she looked up, Mayan gestured
at their surroundings. "Delenn, it is not such a terrible
thing to be alive."
Delenn
looked startled. Then she laughed. "You are right. And I have
depressed you long enough. Come into the house. We'll have
some tea and you can tell me what is going on in your life
now that you're in love again." Delenn smiled. "I've talked
too much about myself. It's your turn now."
"So,"
Delenn said as she handed Mayan a cup of the earth-style tea
they both liked. "How are you getting along with my newest
Ranger captain?"
"We
suit each other," Mayan answered.
The
two women were sitting in the large, upstairs study at the
northwest corner. Like the rest of the house, the study was
a pleasing blend of human and Minbari styles and furnishings.
As Mayan sat on a soft chair near the tall windows, she felt
something hard against her back.
"Can
I assume this is not a top secret mock-up of the latest class
of White Stars?" Mayan asked as she held up a brightly colored
toy ship.
Delenn
laughed. "David kept me company this morning while I was doing
some routine paperwork. If I'm not doing anything that requires
all my attention, I like to have him with me. Now, you were
saying that you and Jason suit each other...?"
"Yes,"
Mayan said, putting the toy on the table beside her. "When
he's away, I write. And when he's home, well..." She grinned
broadly.
"And
he's not home enough to grow tiresome," Delenn said dryly.
"You do realize, Mayan, that you've only lived with one person
for any length of time, and that was me when we roomed together
in school?"
"Yes,"
Mayan said, just as dryly. "And I am not living with Jason.
He comes and goes as he pleases."
"I
would say he comes more than he goes."
Mayan
laughed. "Marriage and motherhood definitely agree with you,
Delenn. You never used to make bawdy puns."
"I
wasn't...oh!" Delenn giggled. "Then what would you call it
since he has given up his quarters in the Ranger Compound
and now lists your home as his address?"
"An
extended visit?"
"Mayan..."
"All
right," Mayan agreed. "We are living together. He moved in
just before he left on his last assignment. He was spending
all his free time with me anyway and having to return to his
quarters for fresh clothing and such was getting to be a nuisance.
At least that's what he claimed."
Mayan
finished her tea and turned to face Delenn directly. "Seriously,
I'm not sure how this arrangement will work out. As you pointed
out, I have no experience living with a male full time. Not
even with Neroon. We always kept separate residences. And
I need solitude to work. How do you cope? Don't you need to
be alone occasionally?" Mayan grinned suddenly. "Or are you
and Sheridan still so besotted with each other that you can't
stand to be apart?"
Delenn
laughed. "Our problem is finding opportunities to be alone
together, especially now that David is walking. But I know
what you mean. There are times when I need solitude. I usually
go to that bower we were in earlier. Or to the chapel at the
training camp. The temple with the statue of Valen in the
courtyard," she explained at Mayan's inquiring look. "The
human Ranger recruits took to calling it 'the chapel' and
the name stuck."
"And
Sheridan understands your need to be alone?" Mayan asked.
"Of
course. There are times when he needs solitude also. He usually
goes up into the hills, or takes a flyer out for a drive as
he calls it. And when we need to get away from each other
for a while...don't laugh like that, Mayan. It does happen.
When we need some time apart, John usually works in his offices
in the Alliance Building or I go to my office in the Ranger
Compound.
"Most
of the time, though, we like to work near each other. Usually
in this study. That's why John had that partner's desk shipped
from earth. It's an antique, over three hundred years old."
"It's
very well made," Mayan said. "But I don't see how either of
you can get anything accomplished in this room. Doesn't the
view distract you? Tuzanor on one side and the mountains on
the other. I'd spend all my time gazing instead of writing.
The city looks like a child's toy from here, and the mountains
seem close enough to touch."
"It
is lovely," Delenn agreed. "The view was one of the reasons
we chose this place. Still, after a while you get used to
it and take it for granted. Except at sunset."
"Now
that I believe," Mayan said. "Even I can't find the right
words to describe the beauty of the mountains as the sun sets."
"Now
that I can't believe," Delenn said. "I have read your sunset
pieces. They are more than adequate. Come on, I want to show
you what John got me for the anniversary of my naming day."
She
led the way to her dressing room, part of the bedroom suite
she shared with her husband. "Since becoming First Lady of
the Alliance, my wardrobe has doubled. You would not believe
the number of functions we have to attend, even here on Minbar.
My clothes now take up as much room as my old bedroom on Babylon
5."
Delenn
pulled a translucent, dark blue nightgown out of the nearest
wardrobe. The gown was cut low in front and back, with thin
shoulder straps. It was totally devoid of all ornamentation.
She held it against her body and twirled to show off the way
the fabric shimmered and seemed to change hues as she moved.
"Very
nice," Mayan said. "Where do you wear something like that?"
"Nowhere,"
Delenn laughed. "It's for sleeping."
"I
don't think you'll get very much sleep wearing that!"
"That
is the idea. John bought it because it reminds him of the
one I wore on our wedding night."
Mayan
watched her as Delenn continued to twirl around. "You seem
to have at least one memory that is not tainted by darkness."
Delenn
stopped and faced Mayan. She put the gown away and sat down
on the bench next to her friend. "You are right. Our wedding
night is a joyous memory." She turned to Mayan. "I still regret
that you couldn't be there for the ceremony. Afterward, after
the feast and the speeches, we went back to our cabin. We
changed into our night clothes and went to bed. I didn't feel
any different. Nothing had changed, really. The ceremony was
a formality. We had mated in our hearts long before. "
She
paused, remembering. Mayan waited, silently.
"I
still don't understand, entirely," Delenn said. "When we kissed,
when our bodies joined, I could feel a connection between
us, a flow of energy that seemed to surround and bind us together."
She laughed nervously. "It sounds absurd, I know. But that's
the closest I can describe it. It was as though our souls
merged. And they have stayed merged. Since then, I have often
had the same feeling when we make love. John told me he felt
the same thing. Neither one of us really understands, or wants
to.
"We
didn't sleep. Finally, toward morning, we were so exhausted,
we dozed off. Just before I fell asleep, I had the strangest
feeling that the universe was watching us that night, and
smiling." She shook her head. "John thought I was being fanciful,
but I'm not so sure."
Mayan
smiled. "I think the universe would smile on your wedding
night. I can't think of another couple who deserve a little
happiness as much as you two." Mayan touched Delenn's arm.
"You can't torture yourself with what will happen in the future.
You have many good memories already, and you will have many
more in the years ahead. Those memories will help you endure
the lonely years. But now, just spend your time making those
memories and let the future take care of itself."
Delenn
nodded slowly. She placed her hand over Mayan's and squeezed
gently. "I will try, my friend. I will try. But the future
still looks bleak."
She
rose and walked to the door. "John and David should be on
their way home by now. Shall we walk down to the landing strip
and meet them? "
As
they walked through the spacious interior courtyards that
separated the private quarters from the rest of the house,
Delenn casually acknowledged the salutes and greetings of
the house guards who were changing shifts. Occasionally she
would have a word with one, inquiring about a family member
or asking if everything was all right. The women walked down
the graveled path that lead from the staff quarters to the
landing strip adjacent to the compound's outer wall.
"Mayan,"
Delenn asked as she punched in the code to unlock the private
exit to the strip, "would you like to stay for dinner?"
"I
can't," Mayan said. "Jason is cooking dinner tonight."
"You
trust him to cook?"
"He's
a very good cook," Mayan answered. "Much better than me. The
only problem is convincing him to cook often enough."
"Then
by all means you have to be there to encourage him." Delenn's
next words were covered by the noise of a flyer landing. "I
said I try to discourage John's culinary efforts as much as
I can, but it's no use. He still insists on cooking for me
when we're alone."
Mayan
laughed. "I hope you have a large stock of digestive aids."
The
occupants of the flyer disembarked as technicians secured
it. A tall, dirty, disheveled man carrying an equally dirty
child walked toward the women.
"John!"
Delenn was horrified. "David is filthy. He's covered with
mud, and so are you."
"Hello
Mayan," John Sheridan said smiling. "I'd give you a hug, but
I don't want to get you all dirty."
"He
has no such qualms about his wife," Delenn laughed as her
husband left a broad streak of dirt across her cheek as he
kissed her. "You look like you've been rolling in a mud puddle.
You are no more sensible than your son!"
"You
are observing, Mayan, the results of a close encounter with
a very angry mother gok who did not appreciate my offspring
playing with hers," Sheridan said in his best presidential
voice. He grinned suddenly. "We had to make a rapid retreat
through the fish pond and the vegetable garden." He turned
to Delenn who was watching father and son with concern. "We're
both okay, honest. The little guy is just exhausted. I'll
take him into the shower with me and then put him to bed.
He's fine. Really."
He
kissed his wife again, leaving another streak of mud. "Worrywart.
Is Mayan staying for dinner? No? Too bad. Come back soon,
and bring your Ranger with you. I'd like to get a first hand
report of what's going on that no one thinks to tell the President
about."
Mayan
laughed and waved as he walked off toward the house. She took
a soft cloth from a pocket and handed it to Delenn. "Here,
your face is all dirty. I can see life is never dull around
here."
"He
is impossible," Delenn muttered as she cleaned her face.
"And
you wouldn't want him any other way," Mayan declared.
Delenn
laughed. "You are right. And he knows it," she said ruefully.
"I
think I'll say goodbye here," Mayan said. "Jason is waiting,
and besides, I want to be out of range when the fireworks
start."
"What
are you talking about?"
"When
you ask your husband how your son came to be playing with
a baby gok in the first place."
"I
know how," Delenn said. "David was curious, what else. He
is just like his father. What I don't know is why John didn't
intervene before the mother gok returned."
Delenn
beckoned to a nearby guard. He nodded when she spoke to him
and strode off toward the docking bays at the far side of
the strip. Turning back to Mayan, Delenn said, "It will take
a little while to have your flyer brought up. We'll be more
comfortable in the house."
She
led the way back to a side door on the south wing that opened
into the hallway leading to the largest ballroom. Mayan followed
Delenn down a side hall into a small parlor.
"John
calls this the VIP departure lounge," Delenn said, standing
near the antique Minbari sideboard under the window.
"Are
you sure I qualify?" Mayan asked.
Delenn
laughed. "No, but you can wait here anyway."
"I'm
sorry to miss spending some time with David," Mayan said as
she made herself comfortable on a low chair. "But I'm glad
I'm not the one who has to clean him up."
"So
am I," Delenn admitted. "John should have no problems, though.
His shower is more than big enough for two."
"Which,
no doubt, you've proved." Mayan said straight-faced.
Delenn
flashed a wicked grin. "Speaking of showers, how are you managing
now that Jason is living with you?"
"I
join him after he has cleansed himself, of course," Mayan
replied. Before Delenn could say anything, Mayan continued.
"I know what you mean. I had a human style shower and bathtub
installed after the first time Jason spent the night. He couldn't
use my cleansers, of course, and the water for cooking and
drinking was far from adequate. It was pitiful, really, to
watch him try to manage." She wrinkled her nose. "And, as
I do not find human sweat aesthetically appealing, I arranged
for a shower that same day."
Delenn
smiled. "I know. After my transformation, I found it very
difficult to accept that my body emitted such a foul fluid.
I still don't like the feeling of being all sweaty."
"If
I had known the pleasure potential of human showers, I would
have installed one years ago." Mayan grinned. "It's like making
love in a waterfall, only you can control the temperature
and the pressure."
"You
would know," Delenn said.
"Yes,
I would," Mayan responded, grinning even more broadly. "I'll
spare you the details."
"Thank
you," Delenn said dryly.
Both
women started to laugh. Delenn moved over to sit cross-legged
on the large ottoman near Mayan's chair. Reaching over to
touch her friend's arm, Delenn said, "Come to dinner next
week and bring your Jason with you. I promise David will be
clean and presentable." She paused. "And so will John."
Mayan
grinned. "I have to check with Jason first."
"Of
course."
"That
seems odd," Mayan said. "I've never had to consider anyone
else before when making plans."
"You
will get used to it," Delenn said, gently smiling.
"Yes,
I suppose I will. Who would believe a relationship between
a human and a Minbari could last. Oh, you and Sheridan don't
count! Neither of you are very typical of...."
The
beep-beep of a com system interrupted. Delenn pressed a hidden
switch on the underside of the low table between them. The
inlaid top retracted to reveal a com screen.
A
guard announced that Mayan's flyer was on the landing strip,
ready to go.
"I'll
walk you out," Delenn said as she closed the com and stood
up. When Mayan did not respond, Delenn touched her shoulder
and repeated her words.
"What?
Oh, sorry," Mayan said. "I was just thinking. The literal
meaning of your title, Entil'Zha, 'the shaper of the future,'
is very appropriate. In recent years, you, together with Sheridan,
have been at the heart of events that have shaped the future
of the universe. I think I shall write about you. You are
both becoming legends."
"Nonsense!"
Delenn insisted. "Besides, you never write about history and
politics."
"And
I am not going to start now," Mayan declared.
"Then
how can you write about us?"
"I
am going to write about love," Mayan answered. "The love between
you and Sheridan. Everything else flows from that."
Delenn
did not say anything as her eyes became shiny with tears.
"Now
I have upset you again," Mayan said, concerned.
"No,
no. I am not upset. You understand. If I could not love John,
and he could not love me, everything would be meaningless."
She paused and then touched her friend on the shoulder again.
"Come, your flyer is ready."
As
they walked back to the landing strip, Mayan told Delenn to
dry her eyes before she saw John, or she would not be able
to ask him about the gok in the proper frame of mind.
Delenn
laughed. "I can't stay mad at him anyway. He just smiles that
smile of his and I melt."
"So
I have noticed," Mayan said dryly. "Never mind. It is the
same with me and Jason. Are all human males so charming, I
wonder, or only the ones we love?"
"I
suspect love blinds us to everything but their charms."
They
said goodbye at the strip side of the door in the wall. As
they pressed hands against each other and touched foreheads,
Delenn said, "I miss you. Come visit more often. Letters and
com chats are no substitute."
"I
will," Mayan said. "And I'll call you tomorrow about dinner."
They
touched hands and Mayan climbed into her flyer. Delenn waited
until her friend was airborne before returning to the house
and her family.
Mayan
docked her flyer and walked the short distance home. She stopped
at her garden gate, as usual, to watch the sun go down on
the mountains that separated her village from Tuzanor; the
same mountains that contained the great bay on which the Interstellar
Alliance Headquarters was built, high above the City of Sorrows.
The
lower shoulders of the great, crystalline range were aflame
with the last rays of the dying sun. Minbar's twin moons,
already high in the evening sky, bathed the peaks in a soft
silver glow. The Alliance Compound seemed built not of stone
and mortar and wood, but of light made substantial.
"An
abode of legends," Mayan thought. "A dwelling place of the
gods. But the couple who live there are of flesh and bone
and blood. And they had paid a terrible price."
Mayan
waited until the light of the sun faded completely. Then she
turned her back on the silver mountains and hurried up the
path to her front door. Calling out "I'm home," she walked
into the house and into the waiting arms of her lover.
flandau@gte.net