People say that I'm lucky to be a twin...but I disagree. Being a twin is hard, especially when you've got someone like Benji for a brother.
Benji is everything I'm not. He's strong, brave, outgoing, talented... and me? I'm weak, timid, shy, annoying... we're so different, we're like night and day.But I admire him for his strength and his support, I wish I could be more like him.
But I can't.
I have to be Joel.
I hate living in his spotlight. He's the one the fans run to to get things signed, he's the one who everyone loves, who everyone thinks is so funny..
Am I jealous of him?
No, I can't be... well, I can't admit I am...
There's no reason for me not to be jealous of him... it's just because he's everything I wish I could be. He's so perfect in my eyes...
But it's always about Benji... the whole world does not revolve around him so why does everyone act like it does?!
It's okay to pay attention to him... it's okay to like him... but I'm here too... why am I the one who gets shunned into the sidelines? Why don't people like me like they like Benji? Is it because I'm not punk enough for them? Is that what it is... because I can change that!
But I don't want to change. Benj is Benj. I happen to be Joel. Poor little unloved Joel.
Well, maybe not unloved... Benji loves me.
And Paul and Billy must like me somewhat too...
So what if I'm not as good as Benji? So what if I'm not all hard and punk-y?
I've got good aspects to me too! I'm kind and compassionate, helpful...
I smile, realizing I shouldn't be jealous of Benji. I should be proud to be my own twin, I should be proud to be Joel Madden, and not Benji Madden the second.
I am me... and nobody can change that!