Twenty-Three Roses, Twenty Three Stairs


Joel sat in his dark room alone, staring at the wall in silence, counting the minutes left until midnight.

Twenty three minutes exactly.

He was in his bedroom. The door was closed, the windows were closed. He was confined within the four walls of the house he shared with the rest of the band. They were all out, Billy was at his girlfriend's, Paul was at the movies and Benji was out walking Cashdogg.

Twenty three roses lay abandoned on the floor before him. He had found them outside by the door of his house,found them with a letter for Benji, found they were from Josie. His Josie. He had cried when he read the letter. What had he done to deserve this from her?

And Benji.

His own brother, his twin, his other half. How could Benji betray him this way? Didn't he know how hurt Joel would be, how angry he would feel? He obviously didn't care.

Joel checked back with the clock. Fifteen more minutes.

Who could he turn to when his own brother had been going around with his girlfriend? What hope was there for him? Benji hadn't lived up to his part of being a twin. He didn't try. He wasn't anything like he should have been.

But who was Joel to decide how Benji should be? Especially when he was going to go throught with his awful idea which really wasn't so awful after all. Waiting for his self-inflicted death to come wasn't exactly how he had planned to end his day.

Ten minutes remained.

He hoped Benji would be the one to find him, he hoped Benji would be hurt by his actions. He hoped Benji would be as hurt as Joel was when he hurt him.

Joel had counted the bruises, twenty three altogether. Twenty three reminders of Benji's strength, Benji's drunken stupidity.

Five minutes left... Joel's time had come.

He picked up the tiny razorblade, imagining what it would look like if the lights were on. He pictured it's gleam, it's sharp edge which would soon be blood-stained. It was hard to believe that such a tiny piece of metal could inflict so much damage.

Joel pressed it against his wrist, gently at first,then harder. He felt his blood, warm and thick, run down his arm. Joel repeated this on his other wrist and the pain doubled.

Joel lay down on his bed, fighting the urge to scream. He began to cry from the intense pain of the cuts. He turned his head slightly, just enough to catch the time.

One minute before twelve.

It was sad in a way, how he would never see Benji again, how he could never say bye to him.

Joel closed his eyes, they were too heavy to keep open. His blood flowed out of him, along with his life.

"This is it... this is where it all ends..." he thought sadly.

Although he knew Benji couldn't hear him, he felt like he had to say bye.

"Bye Benji, I hope you can forgive me..."Joel whispered with the last ounce of his breath.



~*~



Benji walked through the door of his house, freeing Cash from his leash.

"Joel?"

No answer came from Joel.

"Maybe he's asleep..." thought Benji, climbing up the twenty three stairs to the top floor of his house.

He walked in to Joel's room and flicked on the light.

The sight of Joel laying in a puddle of rich, red blood on his bed scared Benji.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked Joel.

But as he approached the bed, it became apparant Joel was dead. His skin was paler then normal, his lips were a deep purple. A small stream of blood trickled from his wrist and dripped in to the puddle that lay around him, that stained his sheets and his clothes.

Twenty three roses lay on the floor. Twenty three words scribbled on a card addressed to Benji.

He picked up the roses and turned to Joel's lifeless body. Never again would he see a smile cross his face, see him laugh, cry, sing. He was gone and could never return.

Benji sank to his knees beside Joel's body, grabbing his limp hand.

"This isn't how you were supposed to go!" shouted Benji angrily, fighting back his tears.

He glanced up at the clock.

12:23 am.

How could Benji celebrate his twenty third birthday today without Joel there with him?

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