The X-Men: The Creature on the Third Shelf

Author:  Lady Rayne

Description: This story was inspired by an episode of Garfield and Friends where one of John's leftovers comes alive... and of my own experience with cleaning the fridge...shuttter...
Anyway , I'm soo cruel to Scott aren't I? LOL. But it's sooo easy..... as always the only thing hurt during the making of this story was Scott's sanity. His clothes and the kitchen were a bit messed up but were cleaned by the X-men and Jean. ( Kitchen by the X-men. Clothes by Jean... LOL) They all went to the lounge to view the show, and it was so good they ( except Scott) took the meatloaf, the cottage cheese, and the tuna casserole on tour across America. They made lots and lots of money, until the food got too smelly and they had to throw it out.

"You were supposed to clean this two weeks ago Bobby!"

" So I got busy. Besides, I didn't want to tackle whatever is in that container on the third shelf all by myself. Go ahead fearless leader.. make it's day."

"Don't yall go lookin at me! Ah'm not touchin it. It's probably some of Gambit's leftover Gumbo. That stuff can walk!"

" Dat's not my Gumbo, Chere. It be leftover Bettsy's cookin..."

" Bettsy's cooking! Somebody get a knife so we can kill it before it grows!!"

" Shuttup Bobby. Food does not walk. Now pick up that container and just throw it in the trash."

" No way fearless leader, you get it. I'm partial to all of my limbs tHank you very much."

" Food does not walk, it's not alive, it's not sentient.. it can't grow!!! Hank tell them food doesn't walk."

" Well generally fearless leader, normal food is not sentient. But Bettsy's cooking can not only walk it can tap dance. And perform complex mental tasks in a laboratory setting. I've been studying the capabilities of her meat loaf for quite some time now. It actually puts on a rather nice show if you would care to come and watch sometime..."

" No I would not care to watch dancing meatloaf!!!"

" Suit yourself."

" Now this is extremely stupid people. Someone pick up the damn container and put it in the trash!!"

" Why aint't you doin it Scotty?"

" Because Logan... I seem to have this sprain in my right shoulder.. I just can't quite seem to reach..."

" Yoah afraid of it too, ain't ya?"

" I'm not afraid of anything!"

" Suure, you aren't"

" Bobby how many times do I have to tell you to shutup?"

" I don't know.. how many times do you have to tell me to shutup?"

"Arrghhhh!!! Look the professor wants this refridgerator cleaned out before he and the others get back with the groceries! As usual it looks like I'll have to take this into my own hands"

" Dis'll be rich."

" Gambit, why don't you go play in traffic or something."

" You first Mon Ami. I even let you play wit de big trucks."

" No thanks I'll pass. Okay, I am picking up the container and heading for the trash can... arrrrrghhhhhh!!!"

< Rowwwwrrrrrr>

" It's got me!! It's got me!! Arrrgh!!! Somebody hellllllpppppppppp!!"

< crash> < bang>

" You wanted to take care of it yourself Scott.. take care of it yourself"

" Very funny Bobby. Now somebody hellllp! It's trying to eat my spandex!!"

< Crash!> < wham>

" Oh, god somebody stop it. That spandex is vital to our sanity."

" Ha ha.. Hank.. ha ha.."

" I thought it was rather funny myself. I should get this on tape... hey Scott.. try and get it to tap dance!!"

" Aaaaaarrrrghhhhhhh!!!!!"

< Rowwwwerrrrr, growllll.. slobber... growllll......>

" I don't think it's in the mood for Tap dancing! Now it's trying to eat my hair!! Somebody get it off!!"

< crash, crash, crash>

" Do you think we outta help him Rogue?"

" Ah don' know Logan, what do we get for helpin him?"

" A month for de vacation, eh Scott?"

" A month! Gambit your insane...< Rowrrrrr...> Okay, okay, a month, a year, anything just get it off of me!"

" Okay, deal. Rogue go help him."

< crash> < bang>

" Woah! Watch it Scott that pan almost hit me."

" Well sorrrrryyyy.. I guess I'm so wrapped up in trying to get this huge leftover food monster off of me Bobby, that I forgot to be careful of your saftey..."

" That kind of sarcasm will only get you eaten, Scott."

" I am being eaten!!!I think I'm entitled to some sarcasm Bobby!! Now somebody get this off before I start blasting everything in sight!!"

" Okay, okay.. Rogue go help him."

" Nope."

" Why not?"

" Cause.."

" Cause why!?"

" Arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's eating me alive!!! Arrghhh"

<" Growllll... hiss.. growllll.. rowrrrrrr.......>

<tap ,tap, tap>

" Where'd the tophat and cane come from Hank?"

" I had extra from my lab Logan."

< Tap tap tap.. tapity.. tap..Hello my baby, hello my honey ,hello my rag time gal!!>

" Hey it's a pretty good dancer..for food."

" Isn't it? The one in the lab is better though"

< Tap, tap, tap...Send me a kiss by wire.. baby my hearts on fire.. if you refuse me, honey you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone, so baby telephone, and tell me I'm your own!!>

<Clap, clap, clap>

" Very good!! Wonderful.. amazing...top rate!!"

" That was not amusing Hank! I was being eaten alive and you all were standing there watching. Then it does a tap-dance routine on my body and you all applaud!"

" We'll your alive aren't you?"

" Yes but I'm..."

" You've got all your limbs, and most of your spandex. The only thing you've got to worry about is food drool."

" Ewww.. food drool"

" Eww is right Rogue. Jean is going to kill me!"

" No she'll just laugh her ass off"

" Bobby for the last time!!"

" I know.. I know.. shut up.."

< Hello my baby ,hello my honey, hello my rag time gal>

" And Hank get that stupid thing to the lab!! Get it out of my sight."

" Humf.. of all the uncultured"

< Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire.........>

" Now as for the rest of you, clean out this fridge and do it now. I'm going to my room to change."

" Okay Scott.. but what do we do with this container on the fourth shelf. The one labeled, Scott's cottage cheese... the one that's moving..."

" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" < thump>

< Snicker> " Got him."

" Yoah might have got him sugah but it's really movin and it's got us!!!

< "Rowr!!!!!">

< Collectively> Arrrghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

<"Rowr!!!!">

Arrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!

< "Rowrrrrrrrr!">

Aiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

< "Rowr!!.. perhaps I'm not making myself clear my good man.. I said.. do you have any Grey Pupoun?">

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... < thump> < thump> < thump> < thump>

< "humm.. was it something I said?">< shrug>< "Oh well.">

" Ah there you are.. the meatloaf and the leftover tuna casserole are waiting in the lounge. You're up to sing."

< THank you Henry.>