The X-Men: Wanted, Deadpool or Alive

Author:  Lady Rayne

The sky above the city was calm and blue. Birds flew in the air, chirping their songs for all to hear. The birds then were scared out of their wits by a glob of green floating energy as it whizzed by them. Cassandra LeBeau Coleredge McCoy flew above the city doing somersaults in the air and reveling in the beautiful day.She was on her way to an important function. She was one of the deciding judges on a panel that would decided the future of a corporation. A
corporation she had no intention of ever letting live any farther. Her husband Hank McCoy and she would probably be the deciding votes that put them away forever.

But that wasn't what she was thinking about. She was flying along with that in the back of her mind. She thought more about training sessions with her students, about the lessons she would teacher her children at home school the next day. The groceries Gar needed picked up.Suddenly her train of thought was derailed by a zap! sound and she felt a jolt throughout her entire body. She looked down at a tiny electrical device attached to her. It had a face on it. A red face with black holes around little white eyes. And a little smile.She felt another jolt and went from flying freely to falling very fast.She hit a rooftop with a hard thump and lay there gasping, the breath leaving her body for a second.Painfully she pulled herself up to her hands and knees and was able to breath a little better. "What the hell" she exclaimed.
" Nice fall toots, welcome to the rooftops with the rest of us walking people." A smart ass voice intoned.She looked up past her hair that was in her face and glared.A man with the same face as that on the device stood there pointing a gun to
her head. He wore an all red and black suit, a belt with the same smiley face on it and his mask was the same. On his back were strapped several really big guns. She knew who he was.' Deadpool what the hell do you want?"He raised an masked eyebrow. " Exqeeze me but I don't think we've been introduced, you just took the fun right out of it. Now I have to kidnap you and you ruined the introductions. I was kinda hoping for " Who are you.. and gasp my your a manly man.."
" I'm married twerp." She growled getting to her feet painfully. " And as for how I know you.. does the name Wolverine ring a bell sparky?"He lost most of his attitude. "Umm.. Wolverine?" "Would you like to see the family scrap book so you can refresh your memory?" She said sarcastically." My memory is just fine toots." he grinned. " Don't tell me your married to the furry nerd are you?" " You want to carry out a conversation with you holding a gun to my head?"
She asked angrily. She was pissed and she naturally became very sarcastic and hateful when she was angry. It was Wyrven showing through. She moved suddenly and her telekinesis knocked the gun from his hand. With an exclamation of surprise he moved for the other ones but she yanked them away too. " Hey gimme back my toys" he jumped into up to grab the weapons which were out of his reach. " You're mean" he said in a mocking child voice. " I don't like you any more" he crossed his arms over his chest. " Cumoon cutie give um back... " First of Pool, I am married to Scientist Henry P. McCoy and I am an X-man. Second, you will not get those weapons until you tell me what you have attacked me for and begged for mercy on your knees like the dog you are." She crossed her own arms over her chest and stood glaring defiantly at him. " Oooh... I love a pushy woman." he intoned. " You haven't seen anything yet pool. Wolverine has told me much about you, especially about that teleportation device of yours. Which if your finger gets any close to that button you'll lose a vital body part. I assume you've been hired by somebody to kill me because of my part in the panel. You don't even ask about assignments do you? I remember what Wolvie told me about the werewolf writer you were supposed to kill." " Aw he told you about that?" Deadpool exclaimed. " I shoulda poisoned his beer." he jumped forward quickly delivering a quick kick at her stomach. She jumped back, jumped forward and kicked him square in the crotch. "Aiiiieeee" Pool screamed falling to the ground. "Oh the agony" Cassandra laughed. " Didn't your mother ever tell you not to hit a lady?" "Didn't Wolvie ever tell you not to kick Mercs in the crotch" he panted jumping towards her.  " Down girl! Down!" She backflipped, and floated into the air. ' Think for a minute pool. You're working for the scum of the earth who who'll kill any mutant they can lay their hands on. Even if you do kill me and try to collect your money they'll kill you. And if they don't Wolverine will." Deadpool was jumping around on the ground below her, trying to grab her. " Sheeze this is humiliation.." he said. " But hey I'm a man who comes prepared." he pulled a device from his belt and shot it at her. It encompassed her in a octopus like array of ropes binding her arms to her sides. Then it let out a large shock of electricity. With a scream she fell to the rooftop again. " Bet Wolvie didn't tell ya about that one cutie" Pool, said standing above her. One foot on her stomach, standing like he'd bagged a big prize. He blew the front of the gun like he was blowing away smoke. " Let me.. ugh.. guess.. you've.. ugh.. been expanding your repitware." She
growled struggling to get loose. " I like you toots, you've got a mouth to match mine. But it's time to bring in the catch." he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. " Great now I'm a fish." She grumbled. " Stupid mercenaries...put me down!" " Your not a fish.. fish are quieter." He picked up his guns from the ground and reached for a teleporter. " Just for you cutie I'm gonna talk to the guys about this. You can come along for the ride."
" Oh gee great.. you're a real superman. Hey next ime can I beat you up, and toss you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Or can my husband take my place?" " No I prefer pushing around women, not a big beast creature that could bash  my head in with his foot." he hit the button. " Aiieeee!" Cassie screamed as they disappeared.

A few minutes later they appeared, not where he wanted to appear but in middle of the busy street down below. " Uh oh." he said looking at an onrushing cab. " You're going to get us both killed you idiot run!" Cassie kicked him in
the butt. " Okay I'm going!" he complained sprinting across the road to the sidewalk. " Damn this thing" He poked his teleporter. " Aww is your wittle towy bwoken.." she smirked. " You're getting mouthy toots. Can it" He glared up at her.
" No I won't can it Pool. You're kidnapping me remember?" she glared back. "  I could scream for help right now you know." " Yeah but nobody in new York ever pay attention to anybody." " Unfortunately your right." she sighed. " Do me a favor and walk past the Harber building so I can scream for my husband." " What do you take me for an idiot? Or a sadist?" he glared cocked at her. " I didn't say it you did." she retorted. " Haw haw haw... very funny toots. We'll go the old fashioned way. On foot." he took of at a run turning through back alleys and unlit corridors. " Why do the bad guys always hold out in the dark dank alleys and broken down buildings?" " For once I agree with you toots" he stopped for a second to get his bearings looking around. Out of nowhere throngs of dogs, cats and birds diverged on him. " Hey! It's like that fox movie.. when animals attack!" he exclaimed jumping up on a crate. " You're doing this aren't you?" he asked her. " Now why would you think a thing like that." " Call it a hunch toots. Fine then we'll take the rooftops." he ported to
the top of the roofs and began running and leaping over the roofs. " Wait where are you going tough guy they just wanna play" " I'm not good at playing nice. I used to knock out the other kids in kindergarten." "Well be happy Pool, you're taking me to my death. At least be kind enough to send my husband and my son and daughter an I'm sorry I killed your
wife/mother card will you." " They're not gonna kill you." he said. "Sure. And wrestling isn't staged" " It is? I thought it was real? Now you've gone and ruined that to" " Want me to ruin something else pool? I'm also a telepath. My husband knows exactly what's happening to me and who's taking me." " What!" Pool skidded to a stop. " You're bluffing"
" Wanna bet on that?" " No I don't make bets with women. I just beat um up. I'll call you on that. We're here anyway."
He jumped to a fire escape and ported to the ground in front of a dark metal door. " We're in old town." she said looking around at the buildings. " Maybe maybe not." He knocked on the door. " Open up creeps, delivery." After a few seconds the door opened, and they were led into a foyer. " You were saying about broken down buildings?" he asked her.
" There's always an exeption to every rule" she said looking in shock at the elegant surroundings. " This way Mr. pool." A butler said.

As soon as the door opened they heard a gasp. Cassie looked inside the room and screamed. " Okay so I was bluffing.. Hank!!!" Tied up inside the building to chairs were all the judges. All of them dead from gunshots to the head exept for Hank. A well dressed man with a mustache turned to them, turning himself and the gun away from Hank. " Ah Mr. pool. Thank you for bringing Mrs. McCoy to us." " Deadpool! You idiot! How could you bring here here!" Hank screamed. He struggled in his bonds. " Run man run!" " Oh I don't think they're going anywhere." The mustached man said. Immediately they were surrounded by men with machine guns. "Oops." Pool said looking at the guns all around him. " Humm.. problem."
" Do you see what I was talking about." Cassie said angrily. " Yes I do now shutup and let me think." He took her off his shoulder and set her down on her feet. "Okay now it's you're turn." He suddenly pushed a button on the device restraining her and it retracted in an instant. She immediately lashed out with her powers knocking everyone back. She also knocked a hole in the ceiling with the mustached man and untied her husband. Unfortunately more people were pouring in and they had bigger guns. Hank grabbed Deadpool's arm and shoved him towards Cassandra. " Get her out of here now and I won't hunt you down and kill you." " Hank no!" Cassie screamed. " Okay fine fuzzball. But don't think this means I like you or your smart mouthed wife." He grabbed Cassie and prepared to teleport. Hank threw himself in a ball at the men rushing in. " I will not leave him here to die!" Cassie struggled against Deadpool. " Come on..do like he says." Pool tugged at her. Cassie sent out a telepathic blast that could be felt by any telepath halfway around the world. All of the incoming enemies were knocked out cold, leaving Hank a clear path to freedom. She grabbed one of Pool's guns and threw it to Hank before Pool managed to get a tight hold on her. " Hey that was my best gun!" Pool complained.
" Tough!" Cassie snarled. " Deadpool do what you must to get her out of here. I can escape alone, but not with you two still here!" Beast called. Pool shrugged. " Okay.. your idea just remember that." He shot the shock gun strait into her back and she went uncontious. With one last puzzled look at Hank he ported away.

When she came to an hour later she was lying on a boat deck. Deadpool was standing grumbling at the railing of the ship looking across the water. " Stupid jerks, no money.. stupid married people.. stupid green haired  woman...blue furred..rassa frassin.. fugitive hunted crap..I'm the one that does the rassa freakin frassin hunting..." She jumped to her feet and rushed towards him hands extended to strangle him. At the last minute he turned and grabbed her by the neck.
" Getting violent aren't we?" " My husband may very well be dead now!" she raged. " Yeah and you wouldn't have known he was there if I hadn't kidnapped you ever think about that? You would have found his body in the river somewhere with a bullet in the head. He's the one who told me to get you out and I did. Don't get mad at me because he may have saved you at the cost of his own life." She slackened and recoiled. " We're on the run now. They're going to be hunting us for sure. I hope Wolverine taught you more than my tricks because your going to need everything you've got."
She straitened a little. " Wolverine taught me all he knows." " Well that must have been a short lesson" " Be careful who you insult Wolverine around" she warned. " What is he gonna pop out of nowhere and hurt me.. ooh I'm so scared."
She balled up a fist and slammed him in the face. " I've been wanting to do that for awhile now." She grinned, rubbing her hand and walking to the back of the boat. Deadpool got up from the ground holding his nose. " You're lucky I have a
healing factor" he called after her. She ignored him. He turned back to the railing and continued his mumbling albeit a little nasally.

The boat came under attack a little before they reached shore. Soon they were surrounded by boats. Most had weapons.
" Ooooooh boy." Pool commented staring out at the attackers. Cassie ran up to him and grabbed him. " Frogmen." she pointed to the back where men in scuba gear were climbing aboard. " It's my turn Pool. Let's blow this popsickle stand." She shot into the air carrying Pool with her. As soon as her shielding was up none of the bullets hand any effect on them.
She took off strait up into the sky, way up into the atmosphere where no plane or copter could go. "We can only spend a few minutes here there isn't much oxygen." Cassie told him. Deadpool was just looking down. She assumed his mouth was wide open. " Do you know of a safe place?" She asked him " Are you kidding.. you killed the boss guy.. no place is safe." He looked  up at her. " They can't be everywhere. And unless one of us has a tracking device on us they won't find us. I know one place where no one can go but I can't get there at my present power level. The only option left is out of country. Is there anywhere particular you've wanted to see?" " Humm.. lemme see...up siren's skirt..no... shania twain naked.. nah...Pamela Anderson post boob job..ooooooooooh" He began counting off his fingers.
" Whoopse loosing my grip." Cassie said innocently. Deadpool dropped a little before she caught him again.                   " Yeaarrrghhhh....allright allright... I don't care where we go.. Hawaii, Greece, outer space... just don't drop me. Even my healing factor won't take care of that fall." " Duh" She dived strait down like a rocket. All Deadpool could do was scream, " Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!"

" Did I forget to say hold on?' she asked once they reached cloud level. " Ulp.. I'll let you know when my stomach rejoins my body." Cassie let out a laugh. " I've scanned for my husband. He's escaped and is  hiding out with the rest of the X-men in a secluded place. I know where is so that's where we are going." " Aw great in a whole room full of X-geeks at reunion time." " Say that after you see Rogue." " Rogue who's Rogue?" Deadpool asked with interest.
" You'll see... and of course.. Wolverine will be so happy to see   you..especially after Hank tells him of your wonderful job..." Deadpool gulped and said in a tiny voice.." Wolverine?" " And Kitty" " And Kitty?" Deadpool squeaked. " Ulp"

After Wolverine finished dancing on Deapool's face he bought him a drink for saving her life. They were in Canada for now, until the rest of the criminals were rounded up by shield. Fury would contact them when it was all over. Hank and Cassie were sitting wrapped in one another's arms on a couch in front of the TV. Hank was still more than a little peeved at Deadpool, but since the fact that he had kidnapped her led to Hank's own survival he couldn't be too angry.
" Next time you put your hands on my wife though I'll make you wish you were born somebody else." Hank warned.
" Fine dandy, cool, great..I'm just going to go try and put my nose back in place." Pool hedged disappearing to the bathroom. " He's funny I'll give him that." Cassie chuckled. " His mouth is just about his only redeeming quality." Kitty grinned. " I hear you people talkin about me in there.. wait until I can hear you so I can complain about it." Pool called from the bathroom. " We said your a lousy, jerk pool, and your smart mouth is going to get you seriously stomped some day." Cassie said loudly. " What like today, who's going to beat me up now..Jubilee?" Pool snorted appearing from the bathroom. His nose did look straiter. Wolvie gave a warning growl. Pool hid behind a chair. Everyone laughed.
Then the phone rang telling them they could come back home.