The X-Men: Keep a lid on it

Author:  Lady Rayne

" Aaaarrrgh!!!"
The peaceful day at the Xavier mansion was broken by a howl from the kitchen. Cyclops, Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine and Bobby all piled into the kitchen to find blue furred Henry P McCoy standing in front of the fridge, shaking in anger.

"What the heck Hank?!" Cyclops asked. Hank held out a jar of pickles and shook it soundly. "Evil pickled cucumber produce product!!" he yelled at them and the jar, knawing on the lid with his large fangs. "Geeze is that all?" With some difficulty, since the enraged blue furred mutant didn't want to let go of the jar, Scott commandeered the jar from Hank's grasp and tried to turn the lid himself. It didn't budge. He tried again. It still didn't budge. There was a small snicker and a smug look from Bobby but no one seemed to notice. "Hank can lift a heck of a lot more than you Scott. If he can't open it, I doubt you will." he laughed. Scott only glared at him and tried once again. Rogue crossed her arms across her chest and giggled. Scott glared at her and

proffered the stubborn jar. It sloshed in protest but not much else. "You want to try this miss giggles."
" Nah..ah'll let ya'll big manly men handle it." she said. " Ha ha ha.." Scott muttered.
" Geeze Louise gimme that." Wolvie snatched the jar from Scott. Beast meanwhile had calmed down halfway, and had moved beside Rogue, also crossing his arms across his chest. He watched with skepticism.

Wolvie tugged at the lid one way..then the other. He put all his strength into it and ended up just as angry as Hank was.
The jar just sloshed at him defiantly and the pickles in side moved around a little confident in their safety. Wolvie just about slammed the jar down on the ground and would have done so if Hank hadn't stopped him. " Don't break that I need those for my sandwich!" " Make a new sandwich or go to the store" Wolvie retorted.

" Here mon ami.. lemme show you how de thieves do it" Gambit took the jar from Wolvie and plopped it down on the counter, pulling a swiss army knife from pocket. Rogue watched with some interest, sharing a conspiratorial look with Bobby. Bobby ever so slightly shook his head and smiled. Hank was looking in sorrow to his sandwich and the jar of pickles which he needed to complete it, knowing he probably wouldn't get any pickles today. " First no mustard and then no pickles. This is a most vexatious day." Remy pulled out a knife blade and slipped it under the lid of the jar to break the seal. Nothing happened. " Usually there's a little pop and the lid top goes up..and you can open the jar." Scott said with confusion." Apparently the way the thieves do it isn't very well." Bobby snickered. Gambit gave him an icy glare and tried again. The jar refuse to yield. Scott, Logan and gambit gathered around the jar and just frowned. Then Scott slowly turned to look at Bobby. Bobby was having a hard time keeping a strait face. Rogue had turned away and was pretending to be interested in the toaster. Hank was contemplating his sandwich from a few angles, and trying to debate between eating it with no pickles, throwing it away, or eating it with pizza flavored Pringles or pork rinds.
" Bobby.....Rogue" Scott finally said. " Yes Scott?" Bobby asked, managing to look only about as innocent as a cat
sitting in the place of the family pet bird with feathers in his mouth. The toaster lost its interest. Rogue smiled disarmingly. " Yeah sugah?" " Is there something about this jar we should know about?" " Like what Scott I have no idea what you're getting at." Bobby tried to contain the laughter but it was almost impossible. " All of these bottles are stuck shut! And the jelly has glue all over it" Hank exclaimed. " That's where my bottle of super duper sticky, rubber cement, never get it on your hands or you'll loose skin getting it off, elmers glue went!" Rogue giggle nervously. " Um.. It wuz frosty's idea?" she ventured. " Um.. Apocalypse made me do it?" Bobby said.

" Well thanks fer the bright idea frosty. When ah get offa here ah'm gonna turn you inta crushed ice." " Oh be quiet Rogue." " An these were mah good jeans to" Rogue sighed. With her backside firmly attached a kitchen chair, and with bobby's backside stuck on the door they were left alone in the kitchen save for Hank who was finishing his sandwich.

He'd found another jar of pickles and a long lost jar of mustard farther back into the refrigerator, and was happily slopping them on his sandwich. " You wanna let us go Hank buddy?" Bobby asked. " I know you've got a chemical neutralizer that will dissolve this." Hank scattered a bunch of pizza flavored Pringles and pork rinds on the plate and meandered to the fridge again. He opened the door, scanned the contents and then looked at Bobby shrewdly over his spectacles. " That depends on who took my last Dr. Pepper." Rogue looked over to Bobby, stood up with the chair still firmly attached to her bottom, and waddled out of the room with as much dignity as she could muster. Hank was still looking at Bobby.
" Um... never mind. I like the view from up here anyway."