The X-Men: Saturday, Sunday

Author:  Lady Rayne

Sunday morning, at the cozy estate of the Xavier mansion on beautiful Greymalkin Lane.

Sunday mornings usually found the residents of the Xavier Mansion having breakfast together, usually sharing conversation, the joy of eachother's company, and usually something happened to turn everything upside down on it's ass. This Sunday was no exception.Present were Storm, Rogue, Gambit, Cyclops, Wolverine and Betsy. And as stotic and resolved as most of them were, even Wolverine himself couldn't help but stifle a laugh as their resident blue furred genius, Beast walked into the room, trying to salvage as much dignity as he could. Rogue suddenly got up and ran out of the room, her hands over her face trying to hold in the laughter. Storm looked down and concentrated on her empty dinner plate trying to think of something sobering, like Sinister running around in a pink ballerina outfit. Cyclops decided to whistle and ended up being as subtle as a bull in a china shop. Wolverine even decided to look at something else, the ceiling tiles caught his attention and he decided to count them.Bettsy of course..could always be counted upon to say something..even when she shouldn't.
" Um.. Beast..." she started.
" I don't want to talk about it." he said quickly.
" But your head.." Betsy started again, not noticing the cuttion motion Wolvie was making across his throat with a finger.
" My head is fine." Hank stressed, glaring at her in frustration.
" Uh..so uh..where's Bobby today." Cyclops asked trying to start other threads of conversation.
" I don't want to talk about it." Beast repeated firmly.
" Beast why de hell is half your head shaved and why de rest of your hair made into de mohawk died, pink, purple and blue?" Gambit asked..
" I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT" Beast said loudly, stressing every word. " Ookay..I'm guessing Bobby is in traction in a hospital somewhere?" Scott asked.
" Nope." Wolverine said.
" Then where is he?" Storm asked.
" I don't..." Hank started.
" I know..you don't want to talk about it." Scott sighed.
" He's still tryin ta get the glue outta his hair." Rogue said finally controlling herself enough to come back in.
" Glue??" Scott asked.
" Glue." Wolvie said. " Hank dumped him ita a bucket of glue after the expensive vase broke."
" Expensive vase?!" Scott asked.
" Oh don't worry sugah..it wasn't one o' ours." Rogue smiled. " O'corse the vase was broke after they chased the elephant outta the museum."
" Elephant..musem?!"
" Don't forget the circus Rogue." Wolvie added.
" Oh my stars and garters." Hank was sinking further down in his chair and pulling the tablecloth over his head.
" When did dis happen?" Gambit asked curiously.
" Oh yesterday." Rogue shrugged. " Wolvie and I saw it all. But ya missed the beauty parlor, before the circus."
Another groan from Hank.
" True. How bout the mall before the beauty parlor, and the image inducer thing..."
" I shall never leave my lab again. This time I swear it."
"Would you two mind explaining just what happened?" Scott demanded.
" Are ya sure bub?" Wolvie asked.
" Oh yes..this is a story I have to hear." Betsy said nodding.
Hank got up to leave..Wolvie grabbed him and made him sit again. " You aint goin nowhere blue boy."
" Please Logan...I must leave...I cannot bear to hear that tale again.."
" Sure ya can Hank." Rogue said.
Hank buried his head in his arms and scrunched down as far as the chair and the table would let him.

" Well ifn ya didn't' know there's an official practical joke war goin on in this mansion. As part o that war Bobby decided ta play a prank on Hank ya see..it all started yesterday when we all decided ta go to the mall" Rogue started. " Hank was all gung ho ta shop. But Bobby had some other things in mind. Wantin ta get back at Hank fer the voices thing...."
" Why didnt' he try and get back at you..you helped with that." Scott asked.
Rogue smiled sweetly but dangeriously. " He knows betta sugah."
" He switched Hank's image inducer for another one which he could control by remote. So as soon as we got to the mall Bobby turned Hank inta a short blonde woman without him knowin it. If that wasn't bad enough he made Hank's clothes disappear every time a guy walked by. When he finally figured out why people were staring and why he was getting whistles and drooling guys followin him, Hank spent two hours in a woman's bathroom trying ta fix the image inducer that wasn't broken. When he though the had it fixed he changed back to his normal image, and went back ta the mall. Bobby messed with the remote again. He'd paid the local beauty parlor people ta give a supposed friend of his a mohawk. He turned Hank inta some leather wearin weird dude and Hank got dragged inta the beauty parlor. That's how Hank got his current style." Logan continued.
It sounded like Hank was crying.
" When Hank got outta there he went afta Bobby. Bobby changed him inta a gorilla just as they were hittin the new indoor zoo exhibit. So Hank gets dragged into a cage for most of the day while Bobby laughed at him. When the zoo started ta leave fer Toleto, Bobby decided ta break Hank out. Somehow..don ask how the elephant got loose. The first place it headed fer was the museum which had it's doors wide open for some sort of expo or somethin. Hank chased Bobby inta the Museum and crushed the image inducer. Then the elephant got scared and started chasin them all ova the museum. That's when the vase got smashed." Rogue said.
" Just one vase?" Scott asked in almost sarcasm.
" Amazin huh..." Wolvie continued. " Anyway, they used some banners an posters hangin on the walls ta corral the elephant, and they got him back to the zoo. Then they went back to the museum ta try and fix things. They fixed the vase with some of that glue that they use ta hang up the posters. There was a bucket of it just sitting there. And then Hank upturned the bucket on bobby's head, and while he was out..he took all o' his clothes but his underwear, poured shredded paper and some feathers all over him and left him ta walk home."

" So that explains the hair, the glue, the elephant and the vase." Scott sighed.
" Why don't' you two act like adults..that is far from funny."
" No bleep sherlock." Hank muttered. " Now if you are all suitably done reveling in my embarrassment, I shall forego the breakfast..find me some scissors, hair growth formula and a hat and not come out of my lab for the next millennium."
" Before you go explain one thing to me Hank..." Scott started.
" What is that Scott?"
" How does it feel to be a woman?"
Hank lunged at Scott and proceeded to try and strangle him. While the others tried to pull him off.

It was definitely a normal Sunday morning.