The X-men: Sweet Revenge

Author:  AeLonwyne

Disclaimer:  All characters are Marvel's.  I'm not out for money, just fun.

The sun was barely beginning to peak its head, washing Xavier's mansion with glittering rays of light, while the X-Men were yet sleeping. ("Were" being the operative term.)

    ~*~*~

"Aaaaahhhhh!" The X-Men woke, leaping from their respective beds, ready for action. Plunging their ways towards the origin of the scream. Rogue's bathroom. "Rogue! Ma chere!" Gambit cried nearly smashing into Ororo and Bobby, while Hank and Logan nearly ran him over from behind.

Inside Rogue's bathroom she could be heard rambling on to herself. "Ah'll kill. see. again.dead! Ah mean it!" Her voice was then drowned out by the sound of the toilet being flushed. "Yaiiieee!" She screamed again. "What the heck is goin' on in there Rogue?" Logan demanded. He was answered by the sound of water splashing, followed by stomping footsteps. There was a loud thump followed by Rogue cursing, and he door was finally, and litterally yanked open.

Rogue stalked out, door hanging from one hinge, and down the hall. Her bathrobe was nearly soaked, there were bubbles in her hair, and the smell of mint toothpaste wafted in the air as she passed. Rogue hurried into her room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Her friends looked at one another, then peered inside the bathroom. Someone had smeared mint flavored toothpaste all over the toilet seat, and bubbles were still spilling out of the toilet bowl, and across the floor.

Trying to supress her giggles, Storm turned to the others. "Hank, Bobby? What on earth possessed you two?" "I didn't do it!" they protested in unison. Looking somewhat doubtful, she shrugged. "Very well." She covered her mouth and hurried past Rogues door. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Rogue further.

    ~*~*~

During this period of excitement; Down the hall and a round a corner, a door opened and a man slipped inside a room. Holding a canister with the picture of a crazed looking pitcher, wearing sunglasses, on the side, walked over to the bed. The sheet was quickly drawn back, and the contents of the canister were dumped onto the mattress. The bed was quickly remade and the perpetrator left in silence.

    ~*~*~

Still tired after the Five am wake up scream. Bobby went back to his room, and flopped down on the bed. He was asleep before he even hit the bed.

    ~*~*~

An hour or so later Henry McCoy, frequently called the Beast by friend and foe alike, decided to hop into a warm shower. As he reached for the shampoo bottle he noticed a strange smell. <Sniff Sniff> He sniffed the air, pausing and tried to locate the smell. Looking around he realized that it was coming from the showerhead.

Turning off the water he removed the showerhead, and found what appeared and smelled to be the remains of a jar of Beef Bouillon. "Grrrr" Hank bared his teeth and growled. Hank spent the next forty-five minutes trying to get the beef bouillon smell out of his fur, but realized that his attempt was in vain. As it appeared that bouillon had also been put in both the sink faucet, and the tub faucet. Not to mention his shampoo bottle. Giving up he decided to get dressed. Hank went downstairs with the intent of dusting the jar for fingerprints.

    ~*~*~

Several hours later. the X-Men began to gather in the kitchen. Jean, Ororo, and Logan were already there when Hank arrived. He headed for the cupboard and after a few moments searching spoke. "Where's the jar of beef bouillon?" he demanded. "Smells like ya took a bath in it." Logan replied. "I did." Hank answered through clenched teeth.

"Uh. Hank. Then why is it that you want the jar?" Jean asked snickering. "If you don't mind I am going to dust it for fingerprints." The room filled with laughter, and underneath his blue fur Hank could feel himself blushing. Just as the laughter died down, Remy strode into the room. "Mmm what smells good? Something cooking?" Laughter erupted again, "Hank is." Storm managed to choke out amid spurts of laughter.

Gambit looked confused. "Hank. uh. took a bath in beef bouillon." Jean explained with a grin. "Why you wan' ta do dat?" Remy asked. "I didn't." Beast muttered. "Den why." "Someone did it for me!" Hank yelled. "Yea. Ok Mon ami." Gambit laughed, but took a step backwards.

Ororo finished her lunch, and stood to take her dishes to the sink. However she stopped short when she saw Bobby, dropping all that she was carrying. Jean had reacted instantly, instinctively, catching the dishes in a telekinetic net when Ororo had let go of them. But she too lost her train of thought, and was distracted. The dishes shattered on contact with the floor. "B.B.Bobby?" Jean was astounded at the sight of Bobby's green and red spotted skin. "What happened to you?" Storm asked trying not to laugh.

Not waiting for an explanation, Hank and Gambit roared with laughter, while Logan snickered before letting loose with a full throated laugh of his own. "You think its funny, huh? How's this for funny?" Bobby challenged an iceball forming in each hand, which he promptly threw at them. "At least I don't smell like Gambits gumbo!" Bobby said. "Hey!" Gambit exclaimed looking mildly insulted.

"Knock it off. All of you." Storm interrupted. "Who did what to whom? And they had better be prepared to apologize and help solve the problem." "I didn't do anything!" came a chorus of cries. Silence slowly began to settle over them, save one female voice, which continued to laugh. All eyes focused on Jean. "I told him not to go too far!" "Who?!" Hank and Bobby demanded. "Let's find Rogue, and I will explain." Jean replied.

    ~*~*~

Late that evening.

"That husband mine, was mean." Jean said to Scott, after they had talked about the day. Which Scott had conveniently been gone for the duration. Scott laughed. "Yeah, but it was really funny!" Jean climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom. "I bet it will be even funnier in the morning." She said shutting the bathroom door.

As soon as it had closed, the closet door began to slide open. Three figures stood inside. "Hello shugah." Rogue said emerging from the closet, tube of toothpaste in one hand, duct tape in the other. Bobby came next carrying a container of Kool-Aid, followed by Hank holding a large jar of fresh made "beef" gravy.

"Jean! Help!" Scott cried trying to untangle himself from the bedclothes.

~ Sorry Scott. You're on your own sweetie. ~ Jean replied in his mind.