The X-Men: What the Doctor Ordered

Author:  Lady Rayne

The joke wars had been in swing for quite awhile at the Xavier mansion, then things began to slow down for awhile. Save for the one strange occurance with the alien spider, things had pretty much calmed down in the X-Men's ever so humble abode.

However as the old saying goes..there is always a calm before the storm shows up and turns you upside down on your arse.

Henry "Hank" P. McCoy, a.k.a. The Bouncing Blue Furred Beast was pulling another one of his frequent all nighters in his lab. Since nothing along the practical joke range had happend in awhile, he had virtually forgotten about most of the things that had happened before. Concentrating instead on DNA molecules, ribosomes, bacterial cultures, and how to
unsubscribe from the magazine "Lab chicks unleashed" That Bobby had previously subscribed him to. Hank should have known that some people don't forget things as easily as he did when confronted with an incomplete DNA strand, some couldn't care less for DNA and would rather POUND. That some people was actually one Mississippi Marauder with an ache for some good old southern fried revenge. While Hank had forgotten about his earlier trick on Rogue, the southern magnolia had plenty of time to think about it. And plenty of time to come up with more pranks, all just for Hank.

Hank was staring in frustration at yet another Error screen on his computer telling him he couldn't unsubscribe from "Lab Chicks Unleashed" Unless he appeared in person at the headquarters with the four months payment he owed them and the complimentary "Clone your own lab chick" DNA kit. He would never have guessed what was waiting for him in his room A few minutes later, Hank got tired of the error message, and of telling them he didn't HAVE the complimentary        "Clone your own labchick" kit and decied to call it a night. As he shut down his computer and closed the door behind him, a figure stood from behind a bio bed and began to laugh to herself. The laugh had a decided southern accent.

Hank, ever the professional mad scientist, had managed to stay up until 1 in the morning. All he wanted as he entered his room was sleep. Alas it was not to be.

Hank hung his lab coat on the side of a chair, and pulled back the covers from his bed without turning on the beside light. A few mintues after he slid into bed he realized that something was amiss. Even through his fur he could feel the little bits in the bedsheet. He ignored it at firts, trying to get some sleep but soon it was too much. Stepping from his bed he turned
on his beside lamp to find his entire bed filled with crunched up cornflakes. They were between each sheet and even in the matress.It took him an additional two hours to clean out his bed. When he finally did get it cleaned out and the bed remade he settled back into his covers, turned off the light and closed his eyes. Halfway into dreamland... "BEEP BEEP BEEP... BEEP" "RIIIIIINNGGNGNGNGNGNGGGG" "BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEP" "RIIIIIINNNNGGGG"
Hank was jolted awake by the simultaneous sounds of four alarm clocks blaring out of nowhere. Sure he did not have an alarm clock, Hank dragged his sleep starved body from the bed to make a search of his room. Nothing. Shrugging it off he sliped back to bed and closed his eyes. He was able to sleep for thirty minutes untill the alarm clocks started again.
Hank pulled his pillows over his head and groaned loudly. Silence. Surprised Hank looked around the room and pulled the pillows from his head. Thinking it might be over he settled back to try to sleep again......That's when the dripping sound started.

The pattern continued until around 6 o'clock the next mornign and the sleep deprived scientist could take it no longer. He pulled himself from bed, and staggered into teh bathroom for a hot shower. However the blue furred former avenger would find no peace in the bathroom. As soon as he stepped into the shower he found that all of his shampoo bottles, and other shower necessities had been glued in place. Worse than that the shower began to smell conspicuously of Jolly Ranchers and he suddenly felt very...very sticky. In desperation he removed the showerhead and the jolly rancher and tried to go for his reserve supplies of shampoo which were in his cabinet. The cabinet door was glued shut, and everything else was glued down in the bathroom. Frustrated, sticky, tired and angry Hank let out a howl and sat down on the toilet seat. Only then did he notice something the perpitrator had unwittingly left behind. A an empty bottle of super glue. It was the final straw. Grabbing his robe from his closet, and clutching the empty bottle Beast stomped strait for his lab.

Bobby Drake was just done getting dressed when a very tired, and angry looking Hank barreled into his room and grabbed his arm, dragging him out.
"Robert you and I have some planning to do."
"Whaaaatttt???"

Rogue came down later that day to hear a commotion in the living room, and find most of the X-Men gathered around in a circle with Bobby and Hank in the middle yelling at eachtother loudly. "I know you did it Drake it had your fingerprints all over it!" Hank yelled looking very angry. He and Bobby were walking in a circle opposite one another glaring with real hatred.
" Yeah so you'd like to think I did nothing of the sort!"
" If you will not confess I will beat it out of you! This is the last straw Drake!"
" Come and get me fuzzball!" Bobby formed an ice bat and swung it at Hank. It cuffed Hank on the side of the head and he fell backwards. Howling in rage he jumped back at Bobby colliding with him and knocking him into the far wall.
" My pleasure Icebox!"
Rogue looked on in astonishment and looked to each of her fellow X-Men. All of which were watching with disinterest.
" intcha gonna do somethin!? They will kill eachother" She asked incredulously.
" Yep." said Wolverine. "My bets on Hank ta kick Bobby's butt"
" What?" Rogue exclaimed.
" Nah I think Bobby can take Hank." Scott said with a hand to his chin. "he's been getting better with his upswing."  "Neah maybe" Wolverine said with a shrug.

Just then Bobby knocked Hank into another wall. Hank rebounded again knocking Bobby twards the Tv. Bobby caught himself and slid on an ice sled back for Hank.
"Admit it Icebox and I won't smash your head into fragments" Hank shrieked.
"Sure I'll admit it..you're ugly." Bobby called back. The two collided in mid air and were thrown backwards again.
"I don't know Logan..Hank doesn't look very light on his feet today." Storm mused.
"Maybe it's lack of sleep" Jean grinned at Rogue.
"What in the... stop it yall! Stop it!!" Rogue flew forward to intercept
Bobby and Hank just as Bobby formed an Ice sword and was attempting to stab Hank with it.
" Stop it yall Ah did it all right..ah did it!!"
Just as Rogue screamed it startled Bobby who jerked an inch to the right which his ice sword, stabbing Hank in the side.
Hank fell back with a howl and lay clutching his side on the ground.
"Oh Gd..one o' yall do sometin!" Rogue turned to the X-Men as she rushed to Hank's side.
Horrified Bobby, rushed up to Hank. "Hank..buddy!! I'm sorry Hank!!" Hank gave a smile and nodded, chocking softly.
Me motioned to Rogue to come closer. "Rogue..please"
"Yeah Hank?" Rogue said leaning down closer so she could hear him.
"Gotcha."

As Hank Bobby and the others began to laugh, Rogue realized she had just been had. Hank pulled out a clear plastic package from his lab coat, in it was a bunch of red ketchup.
"Why ah out! Ah!! You!!" Rogue shrieked. "Ah'm gonna get you Hank McCoy..and you Bobby! Just wait!" she exclaimed stomping ot her room. After she left Hank and Bobby exchanged knowing looks. They weren't through getting her yet.

Later that night Rogue was still stweing over their trick when she pulled back the covers to her bed. She settled down and was just getting to sleep when something clicked and a shower of water and slimly things landed on her competly covering her. Screaming she reached fro her beside lamp to see herself completly covered in bugs. It took her a few minutes of screaming and stomping to realize they were nothing more than slimy fake bugs. Up on her ceiling was a small mechanial mechanisum and a bucket on a timer. She flew up to the bucket to find a note attached.
"Kinda hard to sleep with stuff in your bed isn't it my dear? Hope you can take your own medicine becaue I am just the doctor to give it to you. Enjoy and don't call me in the morning. Signed, Hank McCoy."
Growling and mumbling to herself Rogue replaced her sheets, dumped the bugs in the trash and settled back into her bed.
That's when the alarm clocks sounded.