The X-men: Framed

Author:  Lady Rayne

"Ah won't do it." Rogue stubbornly crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head. "Find somebody else ta get near that thing ah aint doin it."
Hank, Bobby, Scott, Gambit and Rogue stood in the laundry room on laundry day. Scott was holding out a basket full of laundry.
"Come on Rogue it's your turn. You've put if off for weeks since you got back from your little vacation." Scott said.
"No... it's evil! It tried ta eat me!" Rogue insisted.
"Rogue, it did no such thing. Look I know you thought it tried to eat you, and that you thought you threw it in the pool..." Hank tried to explain, standing next to the machine as an example of its harmlessness.
"Thought... then why didja have ta replace all the parts and re-paint it?" 
Rogue raised an eyebrow.
"Because you threw it in the pool sleepwalking, not during the incident you claimed happened." Hank said.
"Rogue it was just a dream. This thing is harmless." Scott said sternly. "It is your duty!"
"No!" Rogue grabbed the basket of clothes and upturned it on Scott's head.
"Rogue that was just a nightmare Jean gave you to... make you... go on... vacation... oooops..." Bobby began to stutter as he realized what he had just given away.
Scott pulled the clothes off his head and turned to glare at Bobby.
"What?" Rogue exclaimed. "Jean gave me a dream like that? Just ta get me on a vacation?"
"Um... she meant well." Scott ventured.
Without a word Rogue turned and stomped out of the room.
Hank bopped Bobby on the head. "Nice going Robert. Now we're going to have to do laundry again."
"That's not as important as what Rogue has planned for Jean." Scott scolded Hank.
Hank shrugged. "Would you like to go on our next mission in one of Jean's outfits or your own?"
"Humm..good point. Jean can take care of herself."

The owner of Jacks house of laughs was surprised to see a new customer come into his shop. She was a tall woman with auburn hair and one single white stripe down the middle, and she seemed very intent on finding something. She 
grabbed a few of his newest items from the shelf and stomped up to the counter. "Ah'm a friend o' Bobby Drakes. Put this on his account."
For a second he thought about arguing, and then he saw the look on her face and decided against it. Something told him she could cause him allot of pain if he caused her any inconvenience. He rang up the stuff and handed it to her in a big bag. " Be careful with that newest one, it's been known to scare people outta their wits," he offered trying to make conversation.
"Good!" She grabbed the stuff and stomped out.
As she left something else told him he'd better close up shop and move to a very small country, with a very long distance in between him and whoever that woman was. Or maybe the moon was good this time of year.

That night Jean was settling herself into her bed; Scott was in the bathroom brushing his teeth. She laid her head back and had just closed her eyes when something landed right on her face. She opened her eyes slowly to see a huge, hairy, six legged creature with many tiny little eyes and grasping fangs resting comfortably on her head.

Scott had just finished brushing his teeth when he heard...
"Aiiiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiii... Scooooooooooooooooooot!"
He dropped his cup of water and rushed into their bedroom to see Jean struggling in the sheets as if she was trying to get something off of her. She knocked the lamp and the alarm clock off the nightstand and continued to yell. "Scott, kill it... kill it... kill it!!"
"Jean what?" Scott ran to her bedside and tried to pull back the bedspread. That's when something leapt at him and attached itself to his face. He flashed back to the incident with the alien spider riding his head and went nuts. He backpedaled, flailing desperately at the thing with the long fangs and hairy legs currently attached to his face. He tripped over a chair and ended up falling butt first into the trashcan. The thing jumped off of his head and skittered for the door. Jean grabbed a leg from the remains of the chair and ran after it brandishing her weapon, screaming at the top of her lungs.Scott stood, trashcan attached to his behind and waddled after her. "Jean please put the weapon down. Jean.."

Bobby was sitting on the couch watching TV when Jean threw a bag into his lap. "Robert Drake tell me what that is about"
Puzzled, Bobby opened the bag and jumped back with a yell. 
"It's a spider!"
The contents of the bag spilled out onto the floor. It was the remains of a very large, mechanical spider.
"Geeze Jean give me a heart attack why dontcha." Bobby panted grabbing his chest.
"Like you gave Scott and I last night with this little prank Bobby?" Jean said angrily.
"Me? I didn't do that!" Bobby protested.
"Oh really, they why were these bought under your name on your account at the practical joke store in Salem Center?"
"Somebody musta used my account. Didn't you ask the owner who bought them. He knows what I look like." Bobby said, slowly backing away from the angry telepath.
"I couldn't he only let me look at the record as he was packing up and heading for Siberia." Jean crossed her arms in front of her.
"I swear Jean it wasn't me! My next jokes are for Hank not you!"
"I better not find out you did it Bobby Drake or I'll give you a headache that will last the rest of your life and your kid's lives as well!" jean stomped out of the room leaving Bobby to hop around the remains of the spider robot.
"Jean... get this thing outta here... hey wait a minute... on my account? Did I pay for this thing? How much did this cost?!!" He called after her.

As Jean was interrogating Bobby, Rogue snuck into Jean and Scott's room and planted something high up in the air vent in the wall. She then planted several little devices in little places all over the room. She then left Jean's room and flew to Bobby's room, there she placed a little remote control on his desk and dumped the rest of her bag there as well. She then left by way of the window, flew above the mansion and back to the other side to her room, where she settled down in her bed to establish her alibi. Just then Jean and Hank walked by her open door.
"Hank we're going to search Bobby's room up and down. I want you to tell me if anything you see could have controlled that mechanical spider."
"Jean aren't you being a bit extreme?" Hank asked with a raised eyebrow.
Jean gave him a glare. "Would you like every Twinkie you eat from now until eternity to scream in agony and beg you not to eat it every time you take a bite?"
Hank blinked a few times. "Bobby's room is right this way."

"Somethin wrong Jean?" Rogue asked innocently just as Jean and Hank were walking away. Rogue knew that the multiple psyches in her mind would keep jean from reading it, there was no way Jean would know it was Rogue's doing.
"Yes I'm going to kill a certain Iceman."
"Why whatever for?" Rogue asked with a grin.
"For a very large robot spider that invaded my room last night." Jean grabbed Hank's arm and dragged him down the hall. Hank gave Rogue a "why me" look.
Rogue burst into laughter as soon as they were out of earshot. Jean had another surprise waiting for her when the sun went down.

"This is a device that could conceivably have controlled the robot spider." 
Hank said picking up the little remote control from Bobby's desktop.
"How can you be so sure Hank?" Jean asked.
"Because it says, remote control to big robot spider. Right here." Hank replied handing it to her.
Jean grabbed it from his hands and examined it. "This is from Jack's joke shop! Proof... I have proof!" she shot out of the room, leaving Hank alone to stare at Bobby's CDs.
"So there's where my Britney Spears album went!! Wait Jean..I shall help you throttle Robert!" Hank grabbed his CD and hurried after her.

Luckily for Bobby he had gone to town, right before Jean set out to find him... and lucky for Bobby, Scott and Hank restrained her before she could jump in a car and go get him. They agreed to confront Bobby with the evidence the next morning. Satisfied at least for then, Jean went back to their room for the night to read. She was a few chapters into her book when the room filled with the most horrible odor she had every smelt. It smelled like dead fish, rotten milk, dog poop and anything else horrible one could think off... multiplied times a hundred and set loose in their room. Jean sat up gagging. Then other things began to happen. The room filled with the sounds of Sesame  Street... Then came the Teletubbies song, then Mr. Rogers, and then... the worst of all the dreaded *Barney*. Each song repeated themselves over and over again. Jean had strong mental blocks but even this was a test of her powers. She bolted from the room and stood there fuming.
"Bobbbyyyy!!!!"

As soon as Bobby stepped in the front door he found a pair of hands around his neck.
"Jean...what..." he exclaimed.
"I HATE BARNEY!!" Jean yelled.
"Barney... what are you talking about!" Bobby tried to get away from Jean..but it took Hank, and Scott to drag her off.
"Jean I don't think it was Bobby!" Scott yelled at her to try and get her attention.
She finally stopped trying to kill Bobby long enough to listen.
"Who was it then?" she asked angrily.
"Bobby let is slip a few days ago to Rogue about the nightmare you gave her." Scott said with a shrug. "I completely forgot about it until a few minutes ago."
"Yes Rogue was certainly angry enough to do this."
Jean frowned. "Rogue?" then it dawned on her.
"She had plenty of time to plant that stuff and get back to her room before Hank and I came by it." She almost got out the door before Hank and Scott grabbed her again.
"Calm down Jean, no murders this week okay." Hank said. "We have a better idea."

Rogue came down to breakfast the next morning to find Bobby, Scott, Jean and Hank waiting for her. Jean smiled sweetly and led Rogue to a chair.
"Good morning Rogue, would you like some breakfast?"
Puzzled Rogue nodded and allowed herself to bed led to the table.
"Um pardon me for my rudeness but I am not hungry Rogue." Hank said nervously edging towards the door. "and I would rather be beaten within an inch of my life and torn into little bits of blue fluff." he added under his breath.
"See ya Hank." Rogue said, wondering why he was so edgy.
As she sat she felt something weird on the seat, she tried to get back up but the chair was stuck to her.
"That is Hank's new super duper triple, ultra sticky, a stick of dynamite wouldn't budge it, glue." Jean said holding up the bottle. She walked up to Rogue with a pie in hand. Bobby had a plate full of eggs, bacon and toast, and a pitcher full of orange juice. Scott sat a TV before Rogue on the table, and turned it on. It was a ten hour Power Rangers marathon, followed by Pokemon, Barney, Mr. Rogers, and then... Lawrence Welk.
Rogue's eyes widened in horror. "Nooooooooo!!!"
Jean slapped her in the face with the pie, Bobby dumped the plate and the orange juice on her and Scott turned it up really loud.
"Enjoy your breakfast Rogue." Jean said sweetly. She Bobby and Scott left.
"Ah'm gonna get ya fer this!" Rogue called after them shaking the food out of her hair... "Ah hate Power Rangers!!"