Why did 'The Practice' chicken cross the road?

Disclaimer: No chickens were hurt in the making of this list, but sadly a couple of quotes were massacred (sorry Lisa)





By Livvy

Bobby - What's all this about a chicken? BACK TO WORK!


Lindsay - You have made every decision without consulting me and now you're telling me that I have to cross the road with a chicken? Well I'm not!


Jimmy - So are Bobby and the chicken dating?


Lucy - Bite away! It's a small chicken and there just isn't enough to go around.


Rebecca - Two weeks! I have to be ready to defend the chicken in just two weeks!


Ellenor - Congratulations Rebecca you've just earned the right to manipulate the most noblest of all chickens


Eugene - This is the United States of America and in the United States of America we protect our chickens. In the United States of America chickens can cross the road no questions asked. So when you go back into that room remember what they are trying to take from the chicken, and come back here with the message that in this great land all roads are crossable and no one has the right to stop the chicken.


Helen - C'mon roommates are supposed to share their little sexual secrets. I sleep with this football player, he comes over with his chicken. The bird likes to nibble my toes during.


Joey Heric - There's a chicken, there's a chicken, they say he crossed the road, but I squished him like a toad... there's a chicken


Richard - I'm in love with the chicken. It's got that catholic schoolgirl thing.


Kendal - My dad says if you ever get arrested don't mention the chicken.


William Hinks - Lindsay won't take my calls and I could just kill myself, or a chicken.


Kittleson (to Jimmy): I love it when you say words like 'chicken.' Poultry has a way of leaving me moist.


Kingston: I met the chicken in a bar in Kenmore Square. She left with me. Happily we crossed the road together. She was at the bar with friends, ask them.


Father Patrick: I read in the paper your little quotes... what you said to the archdiocese about the chicken and the road.


that Mr. pink eye guy in trees in the forest - I saw the chicken cross the road then BAM right out of no where BAM


Judge Hiller: It seems silly... a chicken can't change his mind. Here, the chicken was given his rights. He wasn't coerced or beaten... he decides not to cross the road. But the law says, too bad; once he takes one step he has to go all the way.


Judge Mantz: I'd like to tell you little story -- a true story. Now, many years ago a little chicken was born in the south -- poor, hungry, black, no direction, and more than that, he was blind. But this bird had a gift. His gift was walking. People loved to sit and watch this chicken cross the road. But like you, he had a monkey on his back -- the monkey of drug addiction. He was addicted to heroin. Lord God, he loved the needle. But you know what? Blind, black, addicted to drugs, he beat his monkey. Beat it, I tell you. And he went on to become beloved American -- a hero, a black, blind, American hero. And that chicken had a name, son. His name was Mr. Raymond Chicken. Now, let this be the first day of the rest of your life, young soldier --a drug-free life. Go forward to make this world better place for all chickens.


Roland Hill: I have never been on a case where the defense pled
insanity only to then, in the middle of trial, suddenly declare that the chicken didn't cross the road at all, and then to follow that, with the chicken taking the stand to say that he did. Sounds crazy, but it isn't crazy, ladies and gentlemen. It's brilliant and very carefully orchestrated.


Mike: I don't care about the chicken I'm in love with Helen (ok hehehe that one is just wishful thinking)




****************



By Ally

Tommy Silva: you think you can just accuse a chicken in open court of crossing the road without bearing the consequences?


Richard: what's wrong with you people? you think you can defend chickens and let them walk?


Ellenor: Well, how did the chicken cross the road? (Rebecca looks at her in disbelief) I'm a partner. I get access to the books now, remember?


Susan Robbin's dad: You just stole that chickens innocence (whacks Eugene across the head)


Lindsay: when you promote institutions like road clubs that serve to segregate hens and roosters, its foreseeable that it could lead to chickens crossing roads


Evelyn Mayfield: The chicken is in God's hands now.


Chris Kelton: I am talking about the chicken being incapable of crossing the road without something to take away its inhibitions. I am talking about how we both know it enjoyed it more and felt less guilty the day after if it could pretend I wasn't loosening it up.


Patrick Rooney: The jury should've heard me say that the chicken didn't cross the road! Instead, I sat there with my mouth shut on your advice, and they made their own conclusions about the crossings, didn't they, counsel? (pulls up a chair across from Bobby) You know what really bothers me? You know what's really been eating at me? You. You never even asked to hear my side of the story. You didn't even want to listen.


Swackheim: What do I look like to you? A big dope? Am I a big dope to you? He crossed a road as long as my intestine. He's a chicken. Do I look like a dope?


Vogelman: I know that. Why would I ever let the chicken cross the road? Or if I did let her why would it even do it? Somebody's doing something here


Kittleson: Our professional relationship began when I hired the chicken out of law school to cross the road for me. Our physical relationship began about four months later. It was a Friday night, we were going over a draft of a rather convoluted road crossing, and, uh, well, I suppose one might say I seduced him.


****************


By Staci

Helen: No where in the language of the fourth amendment does it say chickens are required to cross the road.


Eugene:(walking through a chicken pen, the chickens are all squawking) Yo quiet down, quiet down. Just out of my own interest, who in here didn't cross the road? (the chickens all squawk again)
Just what I thought!


Bobby: Once in awhile we get a chicken who didn't cross the road, and that's why we do this!


Lindsay: You know that chicken, you think he'd cross the road.
Helen: Any chicken can cross the road, it's just the circumstances that vary.
Lindsay: Oh there's a proverb.


Lucy: Donnell, Young, Chicken and Frutt
Lindsay: You leave out Dole, you always say, Donnell, Young, Chicken and Frutt.
Lucy: Oh do you mind the rhythms better?


Lucy: My mother told me two thing before she died. One was why the chicken crossed the road.
Ellenor: What was the other thing she told you?
Lucy: If your ever in an argument you can always trump with a chicken.


Lucy: Donnell, Young and Frutt.
Lindsay: And Chicken
Ellenor: Yes chicken there's an animal that's been crossing roads around here.


Lindsay: Your asking me if it's strange that the chicken crossed the road?
Bobby: Was I just insulted?


Lindsay: Your not senior chicken here Bobby.
Bobby: well lets put our feathers back on, cross the road and have the conversation there.


Helen: What is it with you people and chickens?


Helen: If your in love with the guy be a chicken about it, cross the road.


Ellenor: Can't let an innocent chicken cross the road.
Rebecca: We don't even let our guilty ones go there.


Helen: Well I loose my road, I loose my chicken, I loose my chicken to my road.


Lindsay: I don't know what's worse, the fact that the chicken crossed the road, or the fact that we don't know why.


Ellenor: The chicken across the road that make money.
Lindsay: With clients that don't kill people.


Jimmy: I wouldn't want to cross the road, too much politics.


Lucy: Can I cross the road?
Lindsay, Bobby, Ellenor & Jimmy: No!


Helen: What have we got?
Mike: Not much.
Helen: Road crossing?
Mike: It's possible


Lindsay: Do you have any Chickens?
Mike: We're talking to the poultry now but I want to be realistic.
Eugene: Meaning What exactly?
Mike: They're not that big on neighbourhood watch down here, most chickens see a uniform, they think it's coming for them.


Judge Cooper (LA JUDGE): Maybe in Massachusetts if a chicken wants to cross the road he could just fire counsel and get his new new lawyers to beg the court to let him.


Lindsay: Not only does the chicken believe he crossed the road he wants others to think he did it.


DA Rolin Hill: This chicken was able to cross eight roads then he crosses his ninth and we got him, we finally got him.


Father Patrick: You believe the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side? That's your theory?
Bobby: That's my history.






Here endeth the madness
let us know what you think
Livvy
Ally
Staci

All chickens lovingly supplied by the one and only SirKnightAlot.