Author's note: Is it just me or do hot balmy nights make everyone want to write fanfics? Oh just me. Oh well just thought I'd ask.
Summary: Ok this is a tough one. Tell you what you read it then let me know what it's about. Oh yeah and if you don't like B&L no problem go ahead and read and think of whoever you want.
Feedback: Good, bad, whatever I just like to know.
Disclaimer: Mine all mine I own them all (It helps that no names are mentioned in the story)
Dedication: To J with an apology for getting up at 3am to write it
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Bliss! That's the only word to describe it. The only word that comes anywhere near close to describing how this feels. How being curled up with you, having your arms wrapped around me, having your breath on my cheek, feeling you breathe beneath me makes me feel. How listening to you breathe, listening to your heartbeat, listening to you sleep, a deep contented sleep, while you hold me tight makes me feel. Knowing that even though you sleep, even though you've been asleep a while, you still cling to me. Even in sleep you want me and hold me tight. You want me! You don't want me to move, you don't want me to go and I don't want to. I never want to. I never want to leave you and your embrace. Why would I? Being in your arms is bliss. Lying here, secure in your embrace, is bliss. I'm happy, content. I need nothing more than the touch of your skin against mine, as you hold me and I caress you. A soft slow caress. My fingers searching, exploring and enjoying you. I need nothing more than the sweet sound of your breathing soothing me and lulling me to sleep. Nothing more than the sight and smell of you next to me, and the taste of your skin as I softly press my lips to it again and again. Kissing you again and again. I never tire of kissing you. I need nothing else. Only you! Only you can make me feel so complete. Only you can thrill me with a touch, a word, a look. Only you! It has always been only you. It will always be only you.
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This is it. This is what love is. Drifting off to sleep with you in my arms. With your head on my chest. The smell of your hair, that wonderful, breathtaking, intoxicating smell making me breathe that much deeper just so I can take it all in. Just so I can let it completely consume me. Consume my every waking thought and permeate my dreams. The feel of your fingers as they lazily caress me. Ever so gently so as not to disturb me. So as not to waken me but I'm not asleep. Not yet. I let you think so though. I like having you curled up against me like this. I like lying here with you like this. I like having you in my arms. I know you stay in them so as not to wake me, so as not to disturb me, and it would disturb me to have you go. I don't want to be disturbed. I don't want you to move. I don't want you to break our embrace. So I let you think I sleep and I hold you to me. I'd do anything to keep you with me. I don't want to lose your soft caress. Your precious caress. You taught me something with that caress. It's so soft, so light, barely touching but the effect is electric. I never knew a touch could be like that. Fleeting yet intense. You've taught me how to touch. How I like to be touched. So I lie here and relish it. Just as I relish your kisses. Your lips against my skin. Your lips as soft as your touch. As sensational as your touch. Your soft kisses that become more insistent the closer to sleep you are. As if you want to compensate for the hours you feel you are about to waste. The hours sleep will deprive your lips of my body and my body of your lips. I love that you feel that way. That you feel as I do. That each moment apart is a moment wasted. From you I never want to part. This is love. Your consideration and care as you lay here drifting off to sleep with me. Drifting off to sleep in my arms. Drifting off to sleep loving me. If I had to chose a moment, any moment to live forever, it would be this. It would be now. I'd never tire of this. This is love.
I hold you tighter. I didn't mean to. It was a reflex. A sudden need: a longing. I wanted you ... I wanted you closer so I held on tighter.
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You move. Your arms hold me tighter. Was my touch too firm? Were my kisses too insistent? Am I disturbing you? I'm sorry. You were just so beautiful I had to touch, I had to kiss but I'll stop now. I'll stop and let you sleep. I'd do anything for you. I pull away and you moan disappointed and pull me back. So I stay and you hold me tighter again. I smile as my fingers travel over you again. I don't need words to know what you want. You want me. You want my touch. Even in sleep you crave my touch. How could I deny you anything? How could I deny you this? It's no sacrifice. It's what I want too. Your soft warm skin beneath my fingers, beneath my lips, beneath my cheek. I nuzzle in closer. I want you too! To you I can never be too close. Of you I can never have too much. The more I have the more I want the more I need. That you feel the same way, that you love me too, that you need me, that you want me always and forever ... it's a miracle. A miracle! A miracle which has given me life. A wonderful life! A wonderful life because in it is you. Because in it is you, loving me.
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I held you tighter and you moved away. The world ending couldn't be as painful as that. My body cried out for you, my soul cried out for you, my arms reached out for you and brought you back. And you stayed. Hallelujah! You stayed! Your body returned, your touch returned and, yes, even your lips have returned. Oh God thank-you! Thank-you! Thank-you! Thank-you! It's selfish lying here holding you, taking all the pleasure of your love and devotion and giving nothing in return. It's selfish and it's wrong. It's wrong because I'm deceiving you. I'm letting you think I sleep. Letting you think your touch is helping me sleep. Letting you think I need your touch ... no that's not a deception. I do need your touch. That is a truth. An absolute indisputable truth. I need your touch! I'm lost without it. I'm lost without you. I need you! The other, the little white lie, the deception ... Do you want to know? Would you rather know or do you like it like this? I wish I knew. I wish you could tell me. I wish you could give me a sign ...
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"I love you"
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You spoke! That was a sign. You spoke to me. Just as I was asking for a sign you spoke. Was it a declaration or was it a question? Were you looking for a response? Were you checking, testing if I was asleep? I asked for a sign. You gave me a sign. I'll respond. I move my lips and softly kiss your forehead. Your hand stops it's slow soft caress in surprise. "Hi ... you're back" you whisper and with trepidation I respond "I never left". Inwardly I cringe waiting for your response. Will you be angry with me? But then you nuzzle in even closer with a murmur of contentment. I hold you tighter and your touch and lips return. Only this time, this time you're not alone, this time I do more than just take, this time I too hold and touch and kiss. This time we drift off to sleep together. This time we drift away together ... drifting away ... drifting ever so slowly ... away ... together.
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I spoke! I didn't mean to speak. I don't know why I spoke. I didn't think of speaking but I spoke. I meant only to be caressing you, touching you, holding you, kissing you, loving you but I spoke. I spoke to you and you startled me. You responded. I'd thought you were asleep but you answered my words with a soft kiss. I must have woken you. "Hi ... you're back" I whispered welcoming you back and you startled me again. In a nervous voice you replied "I never left". And I loved you and I nuzzled in closer, tighter, wanting you even more than before. Loving you each second more than the last. I love that silently you let me lie here in your arms playing with you for so long. I love that you let me think you were asleep so I'd feel comfortable enough to do it. I especially love that you now felt guilty about doing this. I love that you'd pulled me back when earlier I'd tried to stop and I love that now you've joined me. Your hands and lips now copy mine. All pretence of sleep is gone and now you too are touching and kissing. I love that you too want this ... this togetherness ... this quiet, reflective, comforting togetherness. This moment and emotion so precious because I share it with you. I love that your touch now lulls me into sleep. I love that in your arms with your touch I feel myself slowly drift away. I love that with me in your arms, with my touch on you body you're drifting away too. I love that together we're drifting away ... together.
