Lindsay's pov

It should have been obvious to me from the start. I'd been told often enough that I have a brilliant mind so why didn't I use it? Well because add Bobby to the mix and my mind becomes mush. It just doesn't function as well around him. Not a good sign for the future when you consider I've committed the rest of my life to him. Oh well what's a girl to do?

Anyway as I was saying, it should have been obvious. I should have seen the clue. Warning bells should have clanged when on my way to the most dazzling mouthwatering, mind-blowing vacation, otherwise known as my 'Honeymoon', I snagged, no tore is a better word, tore a hole in my favorite beige silk sweater on the nail sticking out precariously from the doorway of our apartment. The same nail I've been telling my dear, sweet, adoring, lazy husband to fix for two weeks now. It's not like he has an excuse for not fixing it.

Ok he has a bit of an excuse we are newlyweds afterall. But if I can't get him to fix things now, while still in the fresh glow of our marriage, what hope am I going to have fifteen years down the track. I don't even want to think about that! Anyway what was I saying? Nail ... door ... tear ... that's right. Looking back it definitely was an omen! But at the time I was oblivious. Instead of considering it, as I should have, I just glared at him. My glare softened as I beheld my husband's guilty remorseful look. I took him into my arms and I forgave him for it instantly. Fool that I was. Little did I know I would shortly be seeing that look more times than I care to remember!

It all started out ... no wait I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me go to the beginning. We got married that's where this whole mess started. We had a big ceremony planned. Actually an enormous ceremony considering 390 people were invited. Good God! But that was just a mistake. NOT MINE, I might add. So to cut a long story short we eloped to Fenway Park! The wedding was perfect, just our closest friends were there. It was arranged that very afternoon as a surprise for my ceremony shy groom. To say he was surprised is an understatement. To say he rewarded me for it later is ... well fact! We had a wonderful wonderful wedding night and I'm not saying any more than that.

Bobby's so happy I often catch him staring at his ring in disbelief, with delight in his eyes and a very sweet grin on his face. Have I told you I love him? He's not perfect but boy do I love him! Anyway, one day while living our blissful newlywed lives; I made a huge inexperienced blunder. I made a suggestion without a fully thought out plan in place first. I didn't carefully consider each detail I just blurted out off the top of my head "Bobby sweetheart, I've been thinking, Memorial Day weekend is coming up and we haven't had a chance for a real honeymoon yet so why not that weekend?" My very amorous husband's sapphire eyes lit up immediately.

The lightbulb flashed over his head. He was goosed by the idea, his fevered little brain was working at 100 miles per hour and I went along for the ride. "I love it!" he said. "I owe you for the wedding" he said. "Leave it all to me" he said and what did I say? "No no no this is something we should plan together." Of course not! I was an idiot. I said "That's sweet" and showed him exactly how appreciative I was about it. I'll say it again. IDIOT! But remember newly married, fresh glow and all that. Stupidity thy name is Lindsay. I forgot, that while my Bobby is very sweet, planning anything, on his own, without my expert opinions, really isn't a good idea. But as all new brides tend to be, I was still sitting in the rosy illusion that my marriage would be the most perfect of unions, unhampered by a little detail called man.



The weekend of our dreams arrived and we were all packed. Bobby had refused to tell me where we were going. He would only say warm weather, beautiful surroundings, all expenses paid; nothing's too good for you. So I packed like any smart woman would. Three suitcases with an outfit for every "Just In Case" scenario. The fact that my dear considerate husband had to carry them all down three flights of stairs didn't really phase me. It's hardly my fault the elevator chose that day of all days to malfunction. Besides it gave him something to do while I changed out of my now ruined sweater and gave me time to swallow my wrath, I mean really what would it have taken for him to tap in the damn nail?

We were soon off to our own private Paradise, or so I thought. We were delayed, slightly, as the airport road was under construction. Bobby was forced to take detours. In the process of which he managed to get us lost. Completely! And of course in true male fashion he refused to ask for directions. "I've lived in Boston my whole life Lindsay I know where the airport is dammit!"

I didn't say another word. I did find it necessary to tap out my annoyance in Morse code on the window though. By the increasingly agitated look on his face I guess Bobby studied Morse code somewhere too. He seemed to know exactly what I was calling him.

Eventually we made it to the airport only to find, our flight taxiing on the runway. Bobby pleaded, begged and then used threats to try and get us onboard, not a good idea in a high security facility. But try telling 'him' that. After I talked them out of calling armed guards, I politely asked them to put us on another flight, which they happily did. Now comes the best part. All that was available was first class! Oh the luxury! And for only three hundred dollars more for each ticket!

Bobby had gotten unusually quiet probably regretting the nail or maybe getting lost, whatever, I was ecstatic and thought I'd ease his mind. "Honey its okay, these things happen." I say in my calming wifely tone, being with Bobby, I had a lot of practice using it even before we got married! "Don't worry about it for the next four days it's just you and me in perfect harmony" What could I say I was inspired to poetry. He smiled and kissed me and I hoped every woman who'd ogled him as we'd made our way to our seats was watching us now and could see he is MINE!

"I love you" he purred contentedly.

"I love you!" I responded emphatically and I actually meant it at the time too.

The flight was uneventful. I wish! Have I ever told you about Bobby and shopping lists? Why is it if you send a man to the store, tell him the most important item to purchase emphasizing its imperative he get it, it turns out to be the one item he forgets!!! He tells me if it's more than three things he needs a list. What is it about the magic fourth item that makes the rest impossible to remember! I mean how hard is it to remember Dramamine for Christ's sake! 'Here Lindsay I bought us some peanut butter.' Big aren't I clever grin. 'Gee thanks Bobby how about you put it with the other 26 jars we already have.' As far as Bobby is concerned peanut butter is a food group. 'Bobby where's the Dramamine I asked for?' Confused look 'The what?' 'Arrghhhhhhh'

As I was saying, the flight was pleasant, if you don't count my three running sprints to the restroom to throw up! I was feeling like crap and, as it was our honeymoon, a time for caring and sharing, I let him know about it too. Oh and there was that extra stop in Tampa for a mechanical problem. Little did I know what a big chicken Bobby is!

While we were in the airport concourse waiting he was busy asking how to purchase flight insurance and trying to get seats on a different flight out of there. He outright refused to reboard the plane until I was forced to use my secret weapon. I described my new nightie in minute detail. Well, actually the fact it was minute, was the detail that sent him scurrying back to the "Death Trap" as he'd so vehemently earlier called it. Why men will risk life and limb to see a woman in sheer silk and lace is beyond me, but thankfully Bobby is all man.

We arrived at our destination, the Island of the Bahamas! Despite its auspicious start, our dream weekend was kicking in. The honeymoon to be remembered was underway. I had no idea how true 'that' description would prove to be. Our Hotel was absolutely beautiful! The Atlantis ReRises Resort was like a dream come true! A continent I wouldn't mind getting lost on. The swaying palm trees, the scenic waterfalls, the floral surroundings and greenery that left me breathless.

We approached the front desk. I stood back letting my gallant man take care of checking in as I looked around in awe of the grandeur. 'Bobby you did good!' I thought. With a grin and a wink to me he said "Mr. and Mrs. Donnell" I had refused to take the name professionally, but had given my okay for him to use it privately and hearing how happy it made him to say it, I was happy too.

"Could you say that name again please?" the harried Desk clerk requested testily.

"Mr. and Mrs. Robert Donnell." My husband repeated a little warily. I moved closer to his side like a mother bear ready to protect her cub.

"I'm sorry sir there is no reservation in that name."

"Try Dole" I suggested.

I thought I was being helpful but Bobby glared at me as if I'd stabbed him in the back. I backed away. 'Fine sort it out yourself' I thought.

"Of course there is a reservation! Check again. Donnell. D.O.N.N.E.L.L. I made it myself!" Bobby pulls out a truckload of assorted mess from his wallet as the clerk looks pleadingly at his computer. Finally, triumphantly, Bobby finds the receipt and slams it onto the counter. "See prepaid in full, its all here in black and white!" He turns to me and nods with his 'don't worry they're just trying to have some fun with us but I've got everything under control' look. I was not convinced.

"It certainly is Sir, except the dates on this are for next weekend." The long-suffering clerk tries his best not to smirk at the idiot tourist while I try my best not to hit my dashing groom upside the head! It was at this point that I remembered I should have done the organizing myself. It was a bit late to do anything about it now though.

"Look" Bobby glanced at me, hoping I wasn't getting mad, I wasn't ... yet ... I always try to stay calm long enough to know all the facts before I completely explode! "Look, this is our Honeymoon, we're not coming back next weekend we need a room now."

"I'm sorry sir but the only free room we have this weekend" he pauses eyeing my husband skeptically "well I'm sure you wouldn't be interested."

"Try me." Bobby says challenging him. I bristle with pride my guy knows how to get things done. I love him primed and ready for action.

"Well, sir its a luxury VIP suite, every thing you can imagine...sauna, two Jacuzzis, one inside, one outside, grand piano, fully stocked bar, plus many other wonderful amenities reserved only for this suite."

"Sounds perfect how much?" Bobby asks no doubt picturing getting some action by the suddenly orgasmic expression on my face. Not that I could see my face but let me tell you if it was anything like the rest of me that look was there.

"Just $1500 per night." The clerk says smugly anticipating Bobby's reaction I'm sure.

"You've got to be kidding!" Bobby starts to laugh "Who the hell would pay $1500 a night for a hotel room? What kind of idiot would do that?" His voice trails as the look I gave him warns him to stop before he digs himself any deeper. In typical Bobby fashion he digs anyway! "Forget it! Where else can we stay?"

"Well sir its a very busy weekend. As you can see the "Carnivale De Bon Séjour" is underway and most of the better hotels are fully booked. There may be rooms at the Calliente but..." he looks at me shaking his head "...they're certainly not worthy of your bride."

"That's right near the airport isn't it?" I ask recalling our drive in.

The clerk nods. I look daggers at Bobby. I'd laughed driving past that hotel and joked ours had better be better than that or Bobby would be single again real soon.

Bobby looks at me hoping I'll agree to a sub standard hotel. I'm not a snob. Normally I wouldn't mind making do with a three or four star hotel, but this is my honeymoon! Who can blame me for a little spoiled moment? But I was good I didn't stamp my foot I just emphatically stated the facts, "Bobby, that was a dump!"

He countered with "Lindsay $1500 per night!" and then looked directly at me with his secret weapons.

I could see him convincing me if I wasn't careful. Ignoring the power of his baby blues I did the only thing I could do in this situation. I pouted and whined.

"Bobbeeeeeeeeeee it's our honeeeeeeeeymoooooooooon."

"But Lindsay...."

Oooh he's a tough sell today. "Bobby, its a one time thing, pleeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!"

My hand just happened to find it's way to his cheek as I said this. To my immense pleasure he gave in. Shrugging his shoulders he handed over our Gold card. I controlled my urge to dance ... barely.

"If this place sinks under the weight of too much money like its namesake city then don't blame me" he grumbled as we waited for the key. He tried to sway me with his own pout but I was immune, visions of splendor dancing in my head.

"Bobby, Atlantis was a continent not a city." I advised in my most helpful 'watch your temper voice' before running off after the bellboy to find my room.

You know it's seldom wives get their due credit. But by making him take this room I did him a huge favor. The room was absolutely beautiful, a view of the ocean on one side, and the reflecting pools on the other. The sound of crashing waves mixed with the reggae music drifting up from the beach concert put us back into the honeymoon spirit pretty damn quick! But the hunger pains were calling and I insisted we enjoy the luxury of room service before we did anything else.

Bobby tried on his pout again but by God I was hungry. So I countered his pout by choosing that moment to remind him I'd lost my breakfast because of him, so the least he could do, is let me have lunch. That shut him up quick smart. I ordered a sample of every mouthwatering delicacy on the menu afterall Bobby had said the rooms were all inclusive.

The feast arrived. I wondered why Bobby looked suspiciously green as he signed the bill. Maybe he was about to regret forgetting the Dramamine too. He was grumbling some weird words under his breath, I'm sure some were swear words, but I wasn't listening. I was famished.

"Lindsay do you realize, the cost to eat one meal here would pay for our grocery bill in Boston for an entire month!"

"Oh that's impossible." I tell him as I pop a strawberry into his mouth. He's so much easier to handle with his mouth full.

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"Impossible!" I tried to say incredulously. Of course with the sudden onslaught of fruit it came out more like "imooommmoobl"

"Besides we're on our honeymoon" she practically sang. I had a feeling it would be a jingle before long.

This is entirely my fault as usual. Screwing up the reservations made our previously 'all inclusive' package null and void! We were now in rooms that cost 4 times more than what I'd budgeted for and Lindsay was spending like there was no tomorrow. I'd been telling her all week nothing was too much for her. That anything she wanted she could have. How could I now turn around and say take it easy? I couldn't. I needed to grin and bear it and try to work out how I could pay for all this stuff!

The room service meal alone will cost me going out to lunch for an entire year and by the end of the trip I'm sure I'll be buying my next suits from k-mart! But no sacrifice is too much for my beautiful bride! And look how happy she is. She deserves this. I can afford it ... sort of. I tell myself that over and over again hoping that soon I'd believe it. So I might have to file bankruptcy at the end of this trip, we'd never forget it. It would be the honeymoon to end all honeymoons and I'd have the chapter eleven papers to prove it! What's money compared to her happiness?

I graciously ate the succulent strawberry; trying to hide the fact swallowing it was costing me at least $2 a chew by my calculations! With her stomach full she turned to me with a glint in her eye. 'Here we go!" I thought with a sudden desire to rub my hands together mischievously 'Time for the good stuff'

"So...should we take in the sights a bit before dinner?" My innocent love asks sweetly.

Uh dinner? We had just eaten! What did we need dinner for? I wondered would she be very upset if I suggested we diet a little to prevent that fifteen-pound newlywed spread I've so often heard about. I didn't say it though. I know the golden rule; never suggest a woman should diet if you want to sleep in the same bed with her. And boy do I want to sleep in Lindsay's bed! I want this for many reasons 1. Well I love her, 2. We are on our honeymoon, ok so the jingle 'is' catching, and 3. I couldn't afford another damn room! I could only guess what they would charge to bring in a cot!

The sight of her standing before me in her undies soon pleasantly interrupted my thoughts. How the hell did we get this far without me noticing? Ah things were finally looking up so to speak. To my immediate disappointment, she began to pull on fresh clothing. My only consolation was the dress was an enticingly sexy and did nothing to hide her ... attributes. It did however remind me what I was here for, not that I'd ever really forgotten. Not one to give up easily I tried to remind her, or to be more specific, ravish her.

"Sure" I agreed smiling seductively "But what's the rush? Why don't we give the bed a little whirl first?"

She flashed me a thousand-watt grin and giggled "Bobby is that 'all' you ever think about? C'mon let's go."

She grabbed my hand and led me to the door. I didn't even hear a hint of "Later" in her tone. Would it be pathetic of me to inquire of her plans for later? I looked longingly at the big BIG bed but obediently followed her down to the lobby, trying to drum up some enthusiasm for sight seeing. The only sight I wanted to see was sashaying oh too temptingly in front of me. I was confused. Was I wrong or isn't that what people are supposed to do on a honeymoon? Admittedly I've never been on one before, so I'm no expert, but isn't that what we should be doing? Not if her behavior was anything to go by.

We were now in the downtown mall and I'd just paid the taxi driver, double what a person should ever pay for a taxi. Make that a year and a half of no lunch whatsoever and I think k-mart is even beyond me now. All because of some fruit and a stinking car ride!

We started walking down the street hand in hand: talking, relaxing, and weaving in and out of streets literally swarming with people. A parade began and Lindsay stopped to watch, cheer and clap. The parade didn't really interest me but I sure enjoyed watching her. Then there was a sudden onslaught of people and I was pushed aside. When I got back to where I thought we'd been she wasn't there. Somehow I'd lost sight of her.

To this day I deny it had anything to do with a float of scantily clad women. I had my very own scantily clad woman by my side I was NOT looking at anyone else!

I glanced around thinking she had to be close by. All I could see was a sea of strange and somewhat scary faces. I desperately shouldered my way through the crowd retracing our steps and bellowing her name, looking, inspecting, turning to double check, but no Lindsay. I grabbed a taxi. I ordered him to drive slowly as we stopped at each and every tourist attraction. After paying for the slow driving, and climbing more historical stairs than I can count or care to remember, I gave up. She was no where to be found. I had to admit I needed help. It was our honeymoon I was hot and sweaty but dammit I was also alone. That is not how it's supposed to happen!

Upset, dizzy from the sweltering heat and the fact my wallet was getting thinner by the minute I decided to return to the hotel and enlist a native's help in locating my wife! Defeated and worried sick I entered our overpriced over dimensioned room to get her passport to show the authorities when I encountered the last thing I ever expecting to find. There she was, lying on a long table by the Jacuzzi tub, getting a massage from an Atlantian God.

She was moaning softly as his hands worked over her naked back! "Lindsay!" I said trying to keep my voice even. Not a small feat for a guy who is ready to punch someone's lights out; most likely candidate, the man with his grubby hands on my wife. "Lindsay...what the hell are you doing?"

Ok so the calm voice hadn't lasted long. Can you blame me?

The scumbag looked a little scared. Good! Glad I could intimidate someone because I sure as hell didn't scare my wife. She'd barely acknowledged my return to the room. In a matter of fact voice she said, in between moans I should add "Oh well, when I lost you, I decided to come back here and wait for you." Then she turned her head to look at me accusingly "What took you so long Bobby?"

She raised her head and shoulders, giving me a tantalizing glimpse of cleavage. I looked at the masseur to make sure he wasn't seeing anything he shouldn't be seeing. "Don't tell me you got lost again?" she said laughing at me, a little too condescendingly for my taste. She was making stretching motions in her towel clad body that made me want to throw a bedspread over her and cart her to the nearest bad wife behavior facility whatever that may be. I planned on opening one when I got back to Boston if I didn't find one.

"So you took a bath, and then called 'Wonder Boy'?" I calmly asked. Ok so calm isn't the right word but would you have been calm?

"It comes with the room" she explained yawning then stretching again. The towel slipped some more and her lovely behind began to appear. I grabbed a ten spot from my pocket, slapped it into the almost to be beaten to a pulp guy's hand and shoved him out the door. If anyone's going to see my wife's ass it's going to be me!

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"Not anymore it doesn't." Bobby growled as he slammed the door. Conveniently he missed my pleased look. Just because we're married doesn't mean I shouldn't keep the guy guessing a bit. A girl needs to shake things up every now and then. I'd always wondered if Bobby knew just what exactly was involved in a spa day. My little performance got just the attention I'd wanted.

Bobby refused to let me rise from the table. He showed me the only massage I needed was from his own very capable fingertips. I wondered if I'd ever be allowed near a spa again. Mind you why should I have to pay for it when I can get this for free. Mmm mmm I knew there was a reason for keeping him around. To reward him for his skills I treated him to some strategic moaning and stretching. Before I knew it we were finally giving our sunken bedroom a christening it won't soon forget. We then recovered with a delightful session in our outdoor Jacuzzi before we dressed for dinner.

Bobby helped me zip my new sexy black dress. I love having a valet all to myself. Although this one did have a mind of it's own because the zipper made its way up then somehow straight back down again.

"Bobby, we have to..." I began to say.

"I know we definitely do" his lips nuzzled my neck, and I conceded we were going to be very late for dinner.

When we finally emerged from our room, me in the rezipped black dress and my gorgeous guy in a tux, I pulled a red rose from the huge elaborate floral arrangement by the door and slipped it into his lapel. We had the most romantic dinner ever, prepared at our table, tossed, flipped and flamed to perfection. Bobby began to look pale as he signed the bill so I suggested a moonlight walk on the beach. He readily and happily agreed but as we were about to exit the hotel I heard the casino's bells. Thinking this could be fun I pulled and tugged at him, until he followed me.

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I saw the tables with stacks of chips and money and instinctively knew this would be trouble. 'Relax' I told myself trying to rationalize. 'After all what's twenty or thirty more dollars to see the excitement as my girl wins a few quarters'. I indulged her by giving her some chips and made the fatal mistake of offering her a margarita too. 'What have I done?' I asked myself one hour and three hundred dollars later.

Not only had I uncovered a new side to my ever loving wife, I'd created a monster! Lindsay was gambling like there was no tomorrow. It wouldn't have been so horrible if she had have won something! But no my gambling rose had lost every penny I gave her, and each time she lost she became more determined than ever to keep trying ... Blackjack, Craps, Roulette, slots, you name it she tried it, and tried it and tried it. She played and failed to the tune of over a thousand dollars. She was also on another new tangent. She'd discovered the joy of the Perfect Margarita!

After sampling every fruity flavor they had to offer, she settled on the plain kind and had at least three more of those! Somewhere after the 3rd, 4th or 7th margarita. I'd long since lost count, she forgot those nice little plastic disks she's playing with actually equate to money. I soon learned after ten perfect margaritas my little woman loses all her inhibitions. In the privacy of our room I wouldn't mind a bit but in a very public, crowded Casino, well let me just say, I hope no one took pictures. Our grandchildren will never believe it! Not to mention our parents, colleagues, clients and friends! I have little doubt our law practice will attract even more of the wrong kind of element should they know 'all' Lindsay's capabilities.

Did I ever tell you she wanted us to move there and become professional gamblers? I being of sound mind, made an immediate mental note to change my will. I planned on contacting a trustee to take care of Lindsay as, left to her own devices; she'd completely wipe out any inheritance I leave. I thought, in the event of my death, she'd be on the first plane back here indulging in more perfect Margaritas. She actually warned me of this.

She said "Bobby, you have to try these they are to die for...but then I'd be a widow so...maybe you'd better not... or maybe..." then she paused deep in thought. I don't want to know what she was thinking but with the suddenly delighted expression on her face I wasn't feeling too secure in my future.

I worked hard at persuading my adoring wife to come back to our room with me. I was terrified we'd be thrown out of the casino for lewd behavior if she didn't. She was ALL over me, giggling out of control and telling me how much she loved me. This type of behavior would normally have me on cloud nine but it kind of lost it's charm when she also said professed her undying love to the croupier, the barman and the man exiting the elevator as I tried to maneuver her in.

Saying her senses were fried is an understatement. I spent the entire elevator ride struggling to keep her decent. She refused to believe me when I insisted we weren't already in our room.

Of course by the time the elevator reached the tenth floor and I got her to our room she was practically catatonic. Her vocabulary consisted of little more than "mmmm", "oooh", and "ahhhhh" interspersed with hiccups and giggles. I undressed her tenderly, ministering to her, as a devoted yet quite pissed husband should. As she passed out on the bed, I told myself, 'This is good. Lindsay never gets a chance to relax this much. She needed this. What's a little debt compared to her complete happiness.' I kissed her forehead and whispered "Sweet dreams my Love!" Then I phoned Bec to wire me some cash.

I lay awake beside her, reminiscing over our earlier activities and wondering how I'd managed to convince this wonderful woman to be on my side. I'd just convinced myself I was the luckiest man alive when the object of all my love and desire moaned and opening her luscious eyes. She smiled gloriously, kissed me on my nose and emphatically said "I love you J.J." before drifting back out of consciousness.

J.J! Who the hell is J.J? I was stunned. I needed an explanation and I needed it now! No amount of shaking would wake her. All I got for my effort was a burp any guy would be proud of, but Lindsay's not a guy and my name is not J.J! Who the hell is J.J?

If I couldn't find out from Lindsay I only had one other option. I didn't care what time of day it was I called Helen. We'd failed to inform her we were going on our honeymoon. Or more accurately I expressly forbade Lindsay to mention it to her and for once she listened to me. I was terrified if Helen knew of our plans we'd have a third party to contend with.

So luckily I escaped unmerciful ridicule, as Helen didn't know I was talking to 'her' on the first night of my honeymoon. Could you imagine what she would have been like if she knew! Insufferable! Anyway as usual she was no help.

The supposed fountain of all knowledge had never heard of J.J. She did offer to tell me every guy Lindsay had been with though but I promptly hung up on her. There is some information I'm not ready to know. If nobody names names I can pretend I'm the only man Lindsay's been with and denial is a river in Egypt.

Needless to say I slept well that night. NOT! I lay there breathing in the scent of my tequila soaked senora, listening to the symphony of surf, suspicion and snoring and plotting my plan to make J.J wish he'd never been born.

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I woke to a spinning room with a blaring sun. The massive windows with their far too bright display mocked me. Squinting my eyes to escape the light, I pulled the covers over me, groaning in misery as my throbbing head assaulted my senses. What the hell happened last night? I couldn't remember a thing. Peeking my head out of the covers I looked around, wondering who I was with and where the hell I was.

"Well, well if it isn't my little lush deciding to join the land of the living again." Bobby's plainly not amused face appeared above me.

"Ahh ...what time is it?" I asked hesitantly while wondering "What day is it? What happened? Why do I feel so bad?"

"Oh only three o'clock in the afternoon on the second day of our honeymoon, but hey don't worry... I love, watching you snore ... I'd willingly fly 1600 miles just to see that."

'Oooh someone's a little cranky today' I thought. I sat up trying to focus. Ow ... I touched my head, which was feeling like it had swollen to the size of a Great Pumpkin, and lay back down again.

High ... altitude ... not ... good.

"Why did you let me sleep so long?"

"Let you sleep! Lindsay do you even remember the events of last night?"

"What event's?"

"I didn't think you'd remember. Well, after I maneuvered you to the room, you passed out like a lump ... Sleep, I suppose you could call it that, but I think stupor is a far more appropriate word."

"No way! I did not! Bobby are you insinuating I was drunk?"

Ow ... head ... hurt! Talking bad!

"No insinuation Lindsay, you were drunk! Sloshed! Pickled! Hammered! Need I say more."

"You're crazy!" I shouted and lived to regret it. Scrunching up at the unpleasant, ear splitting; head wrenching sound of my own shrill voice.

Bobby sat on the edge of my bed, our bed. "If I'm crazy why is your head aching like it's in a vice?" He looked entirely too pleased with himself. I didn't like that. I decided it was time to make the old man learn a thing or two.

"My head is perfectly fine. I'm sorry I fell asleep. Obviously I'd just had a little too much excitement" I sat up straight, putting all my concentration into not falling back to the pillows.

"Excitement!" Bobby snorted unattractively. He stood and walked to the other side of the room.

'Good riddance' I thought trying to remember if I still loved this man.

"Well if it was only excitement you won't mind if I turn on some music."

The loud drum beats of reggae music pounded along with the orchestra in my brain. I pasted on a smile; gingerly getting out of bed, hoping the bathroom was soundproof. I got to my feet and watched warily as Bobby approached. I would have made a hasty getaway if only I could remember how to walk "Care to dance Lindsay? After all it is our honeymoon." He said grinning.

"Ah sure" was all I could think to say. Its a little more romantic than not really I need to pee. But I really and truly did!

He held me gently in his arms swaying my body back and forth in what normally would have been a soothing, sensual, rocking rhythm. But it wasn't that day. The nauseated feeling quickly rose within me, threatening to spew forth. I yelped something unintelligible and ran for the bathroom. I swear I heard Bobby's wicked laughter echoing in my torture chambered head, but to be perfectly fair, I also saw the walls closing in on me and my footsteps sounded like bomb blasts, so it may not have happened. I finished regurgitating, what a way to spend a honeymoon and somehow managed to steer my tired lifeless body towards the bed.

"What the matter dear?" my horrible husband said far too loudly "Don't you want to honeymoon with me?"

"I want a divorce!" I mumbled falling into the cool welcoming sheets.

I was snoring again in no time flat but not before having a weird conversation about J.J. the Jolly Jumper; my beautiful pink stuffed bunny.

No that couldn't have happened. That must have been a margarita-induced hallucination. God Bobby would have a field day if I told him that memory. Forget I said anything and please remind me never to drink EVER again.

Margarita's bad!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I sat by the bed finally beginning to see the humor of the situation. That and the fact Bec had wired me some cash helped take the anger out of me. What an idiot I'd been! I was jealous of some stuffed toy she loved and lost when she was seven years old. I made a mental note to find out as much about this bunny as I could in the hopes of surprising her with a replacement. Hey I wasn't only thinking this because I was hoping for a reward. Sometimes I do nice things purely because I'm a nice guy. I don't know why people have such a hard time believing that. Except Lindsay she knows it. She loves me.

I put cold compresses to my completely aggravating yet irresistible spouse's head and forced her to drown a glass of water every time she woke. For better or worse had just been made loud and clear.

"Bobby, I'm so sorry ... I think I may have had one too many Margaritas..." she moaned about 6 p.m.

"I know honey... drink this ... I love you ... go to sleep..."

I had two reasons for my generous heart. One if she slept she wouldn't need to eat and two if she slumbered she wouldn't get near the Casino again. Yes I'd be generous... sneaky ... and generous ... and very forgiving. How could I do anything else? She's my wife after all and I'm sure I've already mentioned I love her?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Well I'll admit I missed most of the second day of our trip but I woke about 8 p.m. and after a shower and an attack on our fruit basket I began to feel almost human. I remembered we were on our honeymoon and as I was grateful to have been so well looked after I decided to reward my loving husband. If I do say so myself Bobby and I had a very memorable time.

I was still in a bit of a margarita haze but I distinctly remember Bobby made me feel very good, I'm pretty sure it was him! It had to have been him because the next time I woke his arms were around me and his lips were pressed to my shoulder even in sleep. He'd obviously forgiven me my over indulgence, so pleased, I snuggled into his delicious warmth. I slept the remainder of the night the sleep of a thoroughly contented woman.

I had a hell of an appetite when I woke the next morning but I was hungry too, so I ordered everything on the breakfast menu. Bobby looked ready to pout until I sat on his knee and feed him thoroughly. We gave finger food a whole new meaning. After completely satisfying my hunger in every way I needed to shop. Its times like these Bobby wishes I was a smoker. He complained but I ignored him. I mean what's a trip without sentimental souvenirs!

Bobby tried to convince me souvenirs are just commercialized overpriced trinkets that no one wants and will be next year's rummage or good will offerings. When I insisted I wasn't going home empty handed, he steered me towards a pile of cheap and nasty shirts bearing the slogan, 'My friends went to the Bahamas and all I got was this lousy T-shirt'. I ignored him. Standard behavior when shopping with a man let me tell you. A souvenir is a nice way to reward our friends and family for all their support and I would be getting them whether he liked it or not. He didn't.

I dragged him all over the streets and markets making him carry the overload of packages, he was strangely quiet. I decided he really needed to find a way to relax! I thought he might like to try some gambling, he needed to loosen up and that might be fun. I wouldn't know I've never tried it myself. After hearing my suggestion he quickly seemed to recover his vacation mood. He suggested we rent a boat and travel to a nearby island our concierge had recommended. I didn't know why he was horrified at the idea of gambling but I didn't mind because I liked his idea much better. Bobby and I being taken on a cruise, how romantic!

I was horrified upon arriving at the dock to find a driver didn't come with the boat. Looking at Bobby I mistakenly said "But you can't drive one of these." He glared, he pouted, he stormed to the office and plonked down some money, grabbed my hand and almost threw me on the boat. Mental note to self, questioning a man about his ability to do 'manly' things not good. It only reinforces his illusion that he can! Avoid this at all times in the future!

I hid my snicker as he looked over the controls with an expression of confusion. "What does this button do?" I innocently asked batting my eyelashes as I pointed to what was "obviously" the ignition. I saw his eyes light up before he turned to me and oh so expertly said, "Why Lindsay that's to start it with."

I didn't scream "DUH!", as I was tempted to, instead I sat and waited and waited and waited some more. After a not too promising start he proved himself to be an 'almost' capable sailor. I was content enough to accompany my very own captain to the ends of the earth. Little did I realize that would almost be the case.

Everything was going well. The sun was shining brightly, we were relaxed and enjoying the spray of the water on our cheeks. Not another person in sight. Just blue skies and delicious ocean. We were becoming lost in the moment of our glorious escape. Ok yes what happened next is probably a little my fault but he looked so good standing there steering our boat I just had to give him a big old hug. That's all I intended I swear!

But when Bobby leant in to kiss me, our lips met our eyes burnt into each other and before we knew it we'd lost all control and turned into voraciously exploring bodies eager to be joined. Unfortunately control of our bodies wasn't all we lost. Bobby while lifting me to gain a better angle rammed me against a lever, which gunned the motor sending our sailing vessel speeding ominously towards the aforementioned Island and us falling into a heap on the floor. The thrill of our union was lost in the water splashing furiously by.

"Bobby!" I screamed throwing him off me as we struggled to our feet. I rose in time for my life to flash before my eyes as the bottom of the boat ran up a sandbank causing it to become airborne and land five feet onto the island. We however were thrown overboard and ended up taking an impromptu swim.

The next thing I remember is being hauled to shore by my idiotic hero. Do you have any idea how hard it is to swim when someone has you in a headlock? Who else but a hero would hang on while his ungrateful drowning victim lashed out screaming and kicking at him as he made his way determined to get us to a shore.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Well we were alive! Considering, Lindsay wanted to kill me I wasn't sure how long it would last though. "Now what Einstein!" I heard her wrathful, angry, did I happen to mention shrewish voice say. I took a very deep breath, actually after my heroic rescue I was gasping for breath so if she was looking for a quick answer it wasn't coming. I ignored her; deciding discretion was the better part of valor.

Instead of answering I stood there staring at the boat that somehow made it to shore before we did. It was now firmly stuck in the sand. Even if I could somehow drag it back into the water, I doubt I'd be able to start it again. Lets face it, as a sailor, I make a good lawyer. I'd only suggested we do this because I was desperate. Lindsay was heading back to the casino with a glint in her eye.

I think I stood there for at least ten minutes panting and shaking my head. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Boats aren't designed to fly and they certainly aren't designed for crash landings. No matter how you look at it we were stranded there. Stranded on an isolated private island. The words that previously had a romantic sound now reverberate with menacing possibilities. I looked at my bedraggled sputtering wife; seaweed clinging seductively to her wet T-shirt, ... hmmmm maybe this situation has possibilities after all!

"Bobby Donnell get your mind out of the gutter!"

Then again maybe not. How does she do that? I didn't say a word! I thought maybe I could change her mind. It was worth a try. I mean just look at what I'd get if I succeeded. "It's suppose to be a honeymoon Lindsay! You know a chance to make our fantasies come true."

"You've got to be kidding! Here ... in the wilds of ...God knows where? If you want to make my fantasies come true Bobby I suggest you forget about sex for once in your life and try to concentrate on HOW THE HELL YOU PLAN TO GET US BACK TO OUR HOTEL!" She screamed and I could only assume it was at me... I looked around hoping for some wild native to take the brunt of her wrath ... but no ... no such luck. There was no one here but me and did she have to remind me another $1500 gone to waste! Talk about ruining the mood. I was pissed now too.

"I don't know why you're angry at me Lindsay? This wasn't exactly part of my plan!"

"Whether you planned it or not does not change the fact we are marooned on an island in the middle of nowhere with no food, no dry clothing, no shelter and ... and ... and about to be exposed to God knows what for God knows how Long!"

Although I knew she wasn't looking for me to say anything I couldn't resist trying to make her smile. One day I'll remember to let it rest but that day I didn't, instead I unsuccessfully quipped, "What was that you once said about being marooned on my island."

I watched the emotions play out over her face and knew I'd made a fatal error.

"Congratulations, Bobby, you managed to say exactly the wrong thing once again!"

She turned trudging up the beach trying to get as far away from me as possible. I began to wonder why I agreed to plan this trip in the first place, in fact why did I agree to go with Bec and Lucy when they blindfolded me? If you have to be tricked into going somewhere it's obviously not a smart place to go. I'd know better next time.

The loud howling of some other woebegone animal brokes the silence. 'Probably a male who made the mistake of bringing the wrong catch of the day back to the lair and has just been reemed out about it' I thought sulkily. I felt his pain. I've been there done that! He's also my new best friend as his impeccable timing sent my furious bride scurrying back to me, hurling herself in my surprised arms, knocking us down to the ground and begging me to hold and protect her.

Her body was pressed firmly against me. I'll admit it I was momentarily tempted to push her off and let the wild beast have his way. That would teach her to shout at me ... oh don't get upset ... I didn't do it. I was a good husband I held on tightly stroking her soaked head and cooing at her lovingly. I'm the man afterall and nobody hurts my woman when I'm around.

Besides her little hands clutching and clawing at me felt damn good. As if I would ever choose to put a stop to that. We might be stranded but who says we can't have a good time while we're at it. And no I didn't take advantage of her in her vulnerable moment. The thought barely crossed my mind. Hey if I could resist Lindsay the lush then I can resist distressed Dole. I just held on and made plans. I believed the situation had distinct possibilities and was just waiting for her to discover that for herself. I mean how often do you get an island all to yourself? I figured I had plenty of time to talk her around to my way of thinking.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It wasn't so much that things were going less than perfect; it was his attitude that had fueled my fire! Speaking of fire he managed to get one going later...is that all you think of too! I meant a campfire on the beach. We huddled together drying out, watching dusk descend, knowing a rescue party would not arrive this late and our evening was going be spent here, in this barren wild primitive wilderness.

Bobby seemed inordinately happy with the situation and did his best to excite me too. He took palm fronds and leant them against the boat to construct a makeshift shelter. A blanket and some life jackets made a somewhat passable bed. I decided the least I could do was provide us with some kind of food and scrounged around looking for some. I never strayed too far away from my hero though, as who knew what was lurking in the shadows.

I found some fruit and a coconut. Bobby had managed to find a tackle box tied down to the boat floor and inside was a knife. As the stars made there twinkling way over our oasis, I began to relax, and even saw the humor in our predicament. To say we made the best of a bad situation is an understatement.

Maybe it was the constant foreign sounds making me move closer to him, with each scary yowl, or maybe it was that his chest was so much more comfortable than a lumpy life jacket. Not sure which but as the heat of our now dry bodies connected we found a way to forget all our troubles, quite a few times too. Bobby and I made some interesting primal noises of our own. I only hoped we would scare off the competition.

We fell asleep, clinging to each other, as though we had just fallen in love. In truth we had all over again. A highly recommended experience.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The night turned out much better than I ever expected. Let me just say being stranded on a deserted Island with Lindsay is full of surprises, lots of them! At about ten in the morning we were rescued. Luckily it wasn't any earlier because that would have been embarrassing. When we woke we'd taken a little swim, clothes were optional, we'd both opted for no.

The owner of the boat was confused as hell and looked to me for an explanation. I just shrugged. I mean what could I say, just because I was there when it happened, doesn't mean I understand how the boat landed on the sand. Lindsay to calm him down immediately offered him money to pay for the damages. I could have strangled her. I'd been working up to threatening to sue him for negligence. He hired us a boat that flies for Gods sake! Surely I could have turned that to my advantage and paid off some of the honeymoon with the compensation. Instead we returned to the Price isn't Right Honeymoon Suite, needing to pack furiously to make our flight home.

We called ahead to tell the airport we were running late but were on our way. We were informed final boarding had already been called so it wouldn't matter if we arrived in the next five minutes or five hours we weren't getting on the plane. The airport agent hung up on me, guess she didn't care for my choice of four letter words. At least I'd had the intelligence not to buy non-refundable tickets. We were now booked on a plane flying out TOMORROW!

Lindsay tried to calm me down. I sidestepped her outstretched hands heading down to the front desk. Good news, bad news. Good news we could keep the room ... Bad news ... do you have to ask...with the discounted weekend rate over it would cost $250 more per night! I stomped back into the room, the steam rolling off my back, it did nothing to calm me down to see Lindsay had ordered another decadent feast! "What the hell is all that for!" I shouted.

"Well I thought if we have to stay longer we might as well make the best of it and besides I'm hungry!"

"Great! Why didn't I know about your insatiable appetite before we got married? What, were you keeping it from me so I wouldn't run scared of a gigantic grocery bill every week!" Too my utter and complete amazement my cool calm always up for a fight girl began to cry, huge sobs, tears streaming like an endless waterfall as she stood fists at her sides.

"I've had it with you Bobby, you're a pompous Jackass! This is supposed to be our honeymoon but all you've done since we arrived is complain! I'm sorry we have to stay one more day and you're forced to be alone with me. I thought that was the point just the two of us alone but you...you... jerk! All you ever do is bitch and moan...I'm sorry I'm such a weight around your neck! But don't concern yourself Bobby, I won't bother you anymore!" With that she threw down the napkin and ran out of the room before I could find my voice to stop her!

I ran after her but was too late. All I could do was watch the doors of the elevator close on her tear stained face. I guess it's the stairs again for me. Why the hell do elevators have it in for me anyway?

I finally caught up with her. We were standing at the pool surrounded by about eighty extremely curious people. So much for being alone. She was crying, I was begging, we made a complete spectacle of ourselves but I didn't care. All I cared about was getting her to see I was sorry. Hopefully it won't take two weeks to convince her this time.

"Lindsay ... don't ... please ... I'm sorry ... I'm sorry...you're right...please baby..."

"This is supposed to be the happiest time of our lives" She wept with that irresistible hiccup punctuation that always compounds my guilt.

"I know...I know...Lindsay..." I took her trembling hands into mine. "I love you, I blew up over nothing and I'm sorry. I promise I am having a wonderful time. Being stranded on that island with you was a highlight of my life! God I'd do it again in a second Linds."

"You would"

I felt her softening so kept talking before she'd get a chance to think. "I love you Lindsay. I do WANT to be alone with you. ALWAYS. I'll never tire of it. You've got to believe that!" her eye's told me she wanted to believe so I persisted. "Lindsay I'm lonely when I can't see your face."

For some reason that statement, to my horror, made her cry harder instead of smile. I was about to panic thinking what have I done wrong now when she slowly approached me and entered my welcoming arms. At first I was too relieved to speak but then I said, "C'mon sweetheart lets go back to the room and have that delightful feast ...and some food too..."

She smiled that "I don't know why but I'm forgiving you again" smile that totally melts me and I thanked God once again for blessing me with dimples and baby blues. Hey that's what she calls them don't look at me like that! And anyway I bet if you knew what your secret weapon was too you'd be using it every chance you got.

We returned to our suite and I began to see the trip for what it truly was: OUR HONEYMOON. I'd become so consumed with thinking of it as merely a money guzzler that I'd forgotten to think about what she was feeling! I remembered Lindsay had given up the wedding of her dreams for me and now here I was making a mockery of her honeymoon fantasies too. From the moment we became engaged I've grumbled and fought every step of the way when it came to anything to do with the wedding. Well no more! I'm going to make it up to her here and now.

"Lindsay...this last day...you won't ever forget it...I promise!" my eyes vowed this to her sincerely. I hoped through them she could see all the devotion and adoration stored in my heart.

"Bobby, I'm not likely to forget any day of this trip!" She smiled lovingly back.

"I know " I laughed "but this one will be a good memory I promise."

I started to plan. I know what you must be thinking but this time I was going to get it right. I knew exactly what I was planning for and I do better planing on the spur of the moment. If you don't believe me ask Lindsay! She always says 'you're a pain Bobby but you do have your moments'. Well this was going to be one of my moments.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I have to say...the rest of our honeymoon was absolutely perfect. We had a leisurely lunch, followed by his and hers back rubs which led to us spending a wonderful intimate afternoon in each other's arms. Around five, to my surprise, Bobby pleaded with me to run some crazy errand. Suddenly now he wanted to buy a souvenir. After all his complaining the other day he'd now decided he wanted a memento, that represented what our honeymoon means to us and he wanted me to pick it out on my own so he'd truly know what he meant to me. Talk about putting pressure on a girl.

I should have been suspicious of his motives but I wasn't. When Bobby asks me in just the right way there isn't much I wouldn't do for him. He has a way of managing to circumvent my intelligence with the wink of an eye. So once again I was putty in his hands. Instead of being in his arms I was traipsing through the markets alone. It took me over an hour but I eventually found the perfect thing. I was excited and rushed back to the hotel to show him.

I got as far as the lobby before the manager called me over. 'God who has Bobby upset now?' was my first thought but I chastised myself remembering his sweet behavior all afternoon. The manager asked if I'd be willing to fill out a quick survey and he promised it would only take five minutes. I wanted to moan 'but Bobby's waiting' but decided after all we'd put them through I could afford five minutes.

He led me to his office where I sat and sat and sat as he excused himself over and over again to take phonecalls or speak to employees or customers. An hour later and only having answered three questions I'd had enough. I was frantic and knew the cure for all my frustrations was upstairs waiting for me. I tried to be polite but I admit I was anxious to get back to my own private paradise and it's adorable inhabitant. I apologized profusely, said I couldn't stay one moment longer, used some ridiculously flimsy excuse and ran to my room and Bobby.

Upon entering our room my mouth fell open in utter amazement. The sun was setting and our room was lit in beautiful candlelight. Lobster, and steak dinner complete with every ala Carte temptation awaited me. Flowers filled the room. Roses in every color! Lotus blossoms floated in the tub. And best of all...by far best of all... there was my beautiful loving husband, waiting for me, sitting at the baby grand piano, smiling in delight at the success of his surprise!

"Come here..." He said softly. I walked over to him although at the time I felt like I was floating. The swish of my silk skirt and my pounding heart were the room's only sounds. To my complete astonishment Bobby began to play the piano. "My mother insisted I take lessons," he sheepishly said.

I felt a pang of sadness that I never got to thank her for this wonderful man. He plays beautifully and I never knew. How many more things could he amaze me with?

"But I only know how to sing one song" he said with a grin.

Singing! Oh Boy!

"Sing it for me" I begged. Yes I'm not ashamed to say it. He had me panting for more. His soft, resonating, melodious, surprisingly good voice filled the room. His long fingers playing as though he practiced every day! He was a natural and I was stunned.

"It had to be you...

It had to be you...

I wondered around all over this town searching for you...

I wanted to beat the guy touching my sweet,

So I'd be the one to make her have fun...

It had to be you...

It had to be you...

Wonderful you...

You might have a vice it's a roll of the dice.

But no one else would do. It had to be you!

Now I find you near, at long last you're here.

My dreams come true only with you

My wonderful you...

It had to be you."

"Bobby." tears filled my eyes. Those looks, that voice he could be a star. But he's all mine and I'm his very own groupie. I couldn't believe he was singing me a song, or more accurately he'd massacred a song for me. I stared at him stunned. Bobby...is serenading me ... almost on key even! Am I dying? I looked into his twinkling eyes and realized he's up to something. The words he's singing registered and my smile widened in amazed amusement. I'll get him for this one... later.

He rose from the piano and flipped on a switch. The music continued as he took me in his arms and we danced wrapped tightly against each other.

"This is perfect..." I began to say to thank him but he stopped me.

"Shhh ... I have a big finale." He began singing again, this time right against my ear. "It had to be you...

It had to be you...

Angels have sung you are the one.

I know it's so true.

It had to be you..."

"Bobby...."

"Sshhhh not finished...

It had to be you...It had to be you.

Lindsay my love, you're heaven sent from above

It had to be you.

I was so lost, heart sore and tossed

Now I am found though we almost drowned

I wouldn't trade one escapade

It had to be you.

My wonderful you...

Baby it's true

It will always be you..."

Our eyes meet, his smoldering while mine wept as he dipped me in a final grand gesture. I'm not sure if it was part of the plan but we ended up lying entangled with each other on the floor, laughing, kissing, murmuring, amongst other things. We were on our honeymoon so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess what we did next.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Morning came and we reluctantly rose and left our tropical paradise. The trip home was uneventful, unless of course you count the flight attendant giving us raised eyebrows and disapproving looks when we asked for an extra blanket. What can I say I wanted my wife and I wanted privacy! What I wouldn't have given to be back on our deserted island for at least another night.

I bet you're wondering if Lindsay ever found out about the true cost of our honeymoon ... of course ... my wife ... its like living with Sherlock Holmes nothing gets by her. Believe me I've tried.

The minute the bill arrived. She came barging through my office door. "Bobby there is a horrible mistake on your Gold Card bill!"

"Oh?" I acted innocent trying to decide how to explain it without totally ruining her memories.

"It is a mistake right?"

"Well uh...not...entirely..."

"What! Bobby, the hotel bill is for over $10,000 dollars!!!!"

"Well that sounds about right" I said and took cover behind my high-backed leather chair. It's just the right height to protect the part of my anatomy I was afraid I was about to loose.

"10,000! How? Four nights at $1500 is 6000 you said the rest was all inclusive!"

I shook my head and she looked ready to kill.

"I don't understand. Bobby you told me it was all inclusive!"

"The original deal was but when we um ... lost our reservation, the all inclusive no longer applied." I explained gently.

"What!!!!" She obviously wasn't impressed with my explanation "You never said! All the food ...the masseuse ... the drinks..." her eyebrows rose in fright "...not the gambling too?"

I nodded silently, over and over hoping she'd get over it someday and i'd survive long enough to see it happen.

"Bobby why didn't you tell me?"

"You were so happy and I didn't want to spoil our Honeymoon!"

"No wonder" she said barely above a whisper. She stared at me, really looking hard, like she was trying to see deep inside me. I'll admit, I was scared. Maybe she saw that. I don't know all I know is the sweetest expression appeared on her face and sighing she said "Bobby, Oh...Bobby..." and she flew into my arms. To my complete delight she showered me with kisses.

"Hey...we're at the office." I reminded her wishing it wasn't true.

She ignored my protest knowing full well that I wasn't sincere. "You are absolutely the sweetest most, generous, guy! I'm so lucky to be your wife." Well that is always nice to hear and not wanting to argue I showed her how much I appreciated her praise.

She doesn't let me kiss her at the office often so on those rare occasions she does I like to get my fill. Before we knew it we were curled together on the couch. No we weren't doing 'that'. It's 11 a.m. on a workday. Gee is that all you ever think about? Mind you if I could have guaranteed we wouldn't have any interruptions or witnesses we probably would have considered it but I couldn't.

She looked at me seriously and said "Bobby that was one very expensive four day weekend!"

"Worth every penny my love." I mumbled around an earlobe. I actually do believe that now. When we got back I met with a financial planner, he drew up a plan and so this whole expense thing doesn't bother me too much anymore. Plus I truly believe she does deserve everything I have to offer.

"Bobby I love you" she moaned against my neck before kissing the life out of me.

Have I told you she's absolutely the most perfect woman? Uh ... except for that attraction to margaritas thing. But I think she's over that now. She turns green every time someone mentions them. My poor little adorable lush.